A Girl’s Mother

It is said a mother is reincarnated after a child’s birth and childbirth is the most painful experience that anybody may face.

If this is true then why a mother of a son is given more importance than mother of daughter even today?

Aditya-Aditi are a married couple. Fought due to over interference of Aditya’s parents and married sister. Aditi left home. Aditya came to resolve as he claimed he still loved Aditi. Fuel was added by his sister and things took a worst turn.

While all this drama kept happening at Aditi’s mother’s home many times Aditya’s parents- the root cause of fights were cocooned and shielded..

Aditi- a single child raised by a single mother.. a mother who did everything for Aditi. A mother who left her husband as he told her to abort a female foetus i.e. Aditi. A woman who made Aditi capable enough to get admitted in one of the top law schools on her merit. A mother who taught her values. A mother who sacrificed her thriving career for Aditi. A mother who let her daughter marry as per her wish and didn’t even ask a single question. A mother who didn’t argue when her daughter married intercaste, a guy who had a lot of liabilities on his head and still having an upper hand in everything being a Groom. A mother who kept quiet even after looking at the swollen eyes of her daughter and digested the lame excuses given by her.

Even after doing all this and being a mute spectator she was dragged into the feud created by Aditya’s family. Aditi’s upbringing was challenged when she said to Aditya “Your mother keeps banging bedroom door at all wee hours.” Since a lot of accusations were hurled and Aditi was angry, still she was being judged for calling Aditya’s mother her MIL as “YOUR MOTHER” and not MUMMYJI.

Aditya’s mother not letting her enter kitchen was ignored. Her not eating food made by Aditi was ignored. She forcing Aditi to follow religious practices like keeping fasts was ignored. She not letting Aditya-Aditi have their privacy in their own bedroom was ignored. Aditya spending his entire salary on his parents and sister just because Aditi was earning well was ignored.

Never miss real stories from India's women.

Register Now

Aditi’s expecting any gift from her husband was tagged as gold digger. His parents ruining the first night by their petty calls and demands was ignored. His sister body shaming Aditi every time she met her was ignored. Aditya-Aditi a newly married couple having hectic work schedules having a quiet dinner on a Saturday night in their bedroom was interrupted by his attention seeking mother was ignored..his mom’s being a constant third wheel even after having her own husband was ignored..Aditya’s mother never letting Aditi’s mom to visit their home was ignored.. she subtly hinting again and again AAP AAPKE GHAR KHUSH RAHO AAPKI BETI USKE GHAR KHUSH RAHEGI was ignored..this was being hurled at a woman who left her husband’s house for her daughter and why would she be interested in staying at her daughter’s marital home?

Nobody pointed at it as she was Aditya’s mother.. a son’s mother..

On the other hand Aditi’s mother was made to answer WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAVE SUCH A DIL? Aditi’s mom’s non convent English was challenged though the lady had retired from a nationalised bank. Her mother’s independent identity was mocked and Aditya’s mother over dependence on her newly married son was hailed and glorified stating she’s like that only. Aditi’s mom tried to intervene when 4 people were thrashing each painpoint of Aditi against her and hailing unreasonable behaviour of Aditya’s parent’s and sister because though alleged as Well-wishers of both they were only in his favour and there was no male from Aditi’s side..when her mother tried to stand for her she was called supporter of a home breaker like Aditi.. and letting Aditi stay there was name called..

Aditya kept his parents safeguarded from all the drama and came to Aditi’s home saying she’s staying there. Aditi’s mother’s building residents heard everything being midnight. Since she being a daughter’s mother had no standing in the society she resided? That her daughter’s personal life was being made public?

Why all this? When will this stop? No-one bothered that Aditi’s mom is staying alone after her only daughter’s marriage… only Aditya’s parents need support being old? Only they can be dependent being a son’s parents?

Why does a son’s mother have so many inhibitions in sharing her son with his wife? Aren’t these two different type of relationships?

And why is it held natural in patriarchy that a daughter’s mom/ parents should stay alone even though they may be old and dependent?

Why does a son’s mother have the right to interfere in his married life, and it’s considered normal and natural?

Does the mom of a son face more pain while birthing him?

Does she take more efforts in raising him?

If the answer is NO, then when will we stop degrading a girl’s mother? When will we stop differentiating in mothers basis the gender they give birth to?

When?

Image source: a still from short film Everything is Fine

Comments