You Have Shown Me The True Meaning Of Love, Not What I Thought It Was!

14^th February, 2024

Dear Once-my-lover,

I am sure you must be zapped out of your wits to read the contents of this letter. I hope that this letter finds you in the best of health and spirits, now and always.

I was sure our love story would regale people who are and who aren’t true romantics at heart. But alas! It was short-lived. You might have many questions popping out of your mind as you read. Why the necessity to write to you now after so many years?

The answer is straightforward. I, being a writer find it easier to pen down my thoughts than be vocal about them. Many thoughts have been ruminating and marinating in my mind over the years and I feel the time has come to spread the assorted platter of my thoughts before you. Once the thoughts are out of my mind, I am sure to feel lighter and happier.

Our initial days of courting now seem frivolous to me. It is only now when I give it all a thought, that I have realized we just went with the flow. Being an introvert you hardly spoke to me. You were too engrossed in your work to share mundane yet precious moments with me. I wanted to celebrate Valentine’s Day with you, every year. But for you, all these things seemed whimsical and unimportant.

A few months of living with you showed me the mirror

You left me hopelessly disappointed.

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It’s not that you didn’t give our relationship your very best but unfortunately, I felt it was never enough. If only you had asked me what I wanted! For me, love and romance mean a soft kiss and a loving hug now and then, a bar of my favourite chocolate, travel to unknown destinations, candlelight dinner, surprises, and the works. I got none of these and I kept pining for them.

Your scores were far below my expectations. I must confess you failed miserably as a lover. I don’t know when exactly we moved apart as lovers. I guess it was a slow and gradual transition.

But then, this happened

I had no other choice but to move on in life and I, being the die-hard romantic fell in love for the second time. Yes, again! With the person hiding deep within you and whom I had failed to recognize.

I don’t remember when you stepped down from being a lover and stepped up to be my best friend, companion, and life partner. I sometimes try to recall. Was it when I had a miscarriage and you stood rock-hard by my side? Was it through the troughs and crests of my pregnancy phase? Was it in the labor ward as I was heaving and pushing amidst your encouraging words? Was it during the growing up phase of my child? Or was it during the medical procedures I had to endure? Was it when I was left with an empty nest to fend for myself? Was it when you remained calm and composed all through my hormonal upheavals? I really can’t put a finger on a particular event or time.

Just like the cold, freezing winter gradually melts into a warm spring, you changed gears and took on a new role with gusto. All my preconceived notions about love, romance, and marriage were burnt to ashes. And in its light, I could see what being together as a couple truly is. True love is balancing the chariot of life through the bumpy road of life and still enjoying the ride.

You completely rocked this new role my heart gave you

So, dear ex-lover, you have shown me the true meaning of love, not through ornate words, not by aping romantic gestures a’la Bollywood style, not by throwing surprises at me but through your warm and caring ways. Through the way, you speak with your eyes without saying a single word. Through the way, you put a protective Lakshman rekha around me and yet watch me flap my wings to fly with pride. Through the way you just let me be.

I know you care for me when you ignore my minuscule worries. You do it on purpose to make me strong and independent enough to handle myself.  I know you love me when you nudge me to do things, I am not very confident, of.

Thank you!

Dear ex-lover, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me realize the true meaning of love. Standing up for each other, respecting each other’s likes and dislikes, and propelling one another toward their dream flight is what true love is all about. The small things you do for me every single day make every day a Valentine’s Day for me. Love is not what the eye sees and what the world perceives. Love is what the heart feels and the mind perceives.

I want you to know that, as a husband and as a companion, and my ‘bestest’ friend ever, you have passed with flying colours. Now I no longer feel the need to delve into romance on screen. When I have it for real then why go for reel?

I take this opportunity to tell you dear ex-lover and now my dearest husband that you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Every night I sleep with a smile and a prayer on my lips. I pray that I stay with you forever on this journey. If death dares to do us apart then we steer our chariot together on to another life beyond.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you today and every day!

Sealed with love,

Your loving ex-lover.

This February and March, we are publishing your stories as a #LetterToMyEx – anything that you want to say to your Ex, either as a personal letter that can be published anonymously if you want (just email us at [email protected] after you upload and submit your piece) or as fiction. You can find all these letters here.

Image source: YouTube/ a still from Astitva

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