How Is It To Be Married To A Feminist Man? Let Me Count 14 Ways!

How is it to be married to a feminist man?

1. Whoever gets up first in the morning (or after an afternoon nap) makes the coffee.
2. When I go on my trips, I do not ask him questions about the kid’s meals, school or her general well-being. He makes sure that the kid gets a nutritious lunch box and other meals. He takes care of the school stuff and permissions and other things like homework, prepping for tests etc. He does not call me to ask for where things are or what to do as far as the kid is concerned
3. I don’t search for his stuff (socks, shoes, shirts, t-shirts, or anything else). If he has misplaced it, he will find it.
4. I don’t pack his bag for his travel. He does.
5. We make the decision on what to make for meals either jointly (especially on weekends or holidays) or whoever is working in the hall (usually him) makes the decision when the cook aunty comes.
6. He takes care of his parent/grandparent and I am a support. I take care of my mother and he is a support. So any hospital stays for his mom, he does. I do that for my mother.
7. He orders provisions from the shop and does not expect me to do that every time he needs something.
8. We jointly plan for vacations and make bookings.
9. He does not expect me to turn up for all the family functions on his side of the family. I extend him the same courtesy.
10.  We clean the kitchen together.
11. When the household help is not available, we divide chores equally among us.
12. When I am wondering if it is okay to travel so much for work, he tells me that my work is important and helps me overcome the guilt.
13. When someone says “You allow your wife to….” He says “My wife does not need my permission”. He behaves also that way… it is not just words.
14. When I say “As a man you have the privilege of…” He says “Let us talk this through. Let us see how we can make this equal.” Because there is still work to be done in being equal.

This is a working list. Will keep adding to it.

Do you also have a feminist man at home? And if yes, what is it to be married to him? Do share.

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