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Trigger warning: This post contains depiction of normalised violence against women, and may be triggering for survivors.
#OneOfTheThingsThatOftenKeepMeUpAllNight
My belly is living proof of the life I have grown, held, and birthed a ‘permanently pregnant’ swell stretch marks and a caesarian scar that still itch an experience I wouldn’t trade in for anything except for what I was told by the father of my child.
From “This is not my child” to “Stop all that drama – there’s no camera here” when I was hormonal and weepy and wanted him to hold me, reassure me, understand me and further on to “you’ve blown up like a buffalo; like your mother” when I was unable to shed all the weight and “get back into shape”.
I never lost the weight and the swollen belly and the stretch marks “You look positively ugly” “I hate women who get fat” “I am embarrassed to be seen with you”.
Nothing new.
Poor guy he’s been embarrassed by so much about this uncouth wife of his talks too loudly laughs too loudly can’t even do anything right looks like a buffalo or an elephant take your pick.
Whattodo I am like that only na on top of that there’s the “too much feminism” the “rot” that I have “brought into this family” of course.
Sometimes I wonder what all my mind has taken who had sold me the narrative that I must be accepting, tolerant, resilient, “good”, understanding…
WHY? why must I? who gives him this right to do with me as he wished so say to me what he wished lord and master, right? taken with fire and family as witness.
Sometimes I wonder who am I?
The go getter who could do it all who had dreams or this broken sorry example of a human being who just gets through each day, one day at a time?
Image source: YouTube/ a still from Gully Boy
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You must have met people who say that if you want to earn good money, you have to leave the village. Because many people still believe that there is no development in the village. That if you want to progress, you have to go to the cities around your village; that’s where opportunities lie. Many people, motivated by this belief, leave their homes, families, and friends every year, trying to establish themselves in the city and improve their lives.
It’s not that establishing oneself in the city is impossible, but often, those who come from villages end up as daily-wage labourers. For those who are not educated, settling into city life and advancing in their work can be as challenging as living in a foreign country.
Geeta decided to establish her work in the city, driven by similar thoughts.
Geeta, who lived in the village of Mughalpura near Gwalior city in Madhya Pradesh, saw the difficulties in her family. There was neither a steady income to support daily expenses nor enough money to secure the future of her children. She was tired of witnessing the daily struggles.
At that moment, Geeta also thought that like others, she could go to the city near her village, Gwalior, and enhance her work, ensuring an end to all the family troubles. Although leaving her home was difficult, she found solace in the thought that at least the future of her family would be better.
After coming to the city in search of employment, Geeta faced new and increased challenges. She did not anticipate that the city life might not suit her. She made every effort to establish herself, doing all kinds of jobs that came her way. However, sometimes fate and timing are more critical than efforts.
Geeta felt like she had lost. She had left the village for the city, but she couldn’t earn anything substantial or progress. The only thing that had increased was her troubles.
Geeta says, “When I left the village and came to Gwalior, I brought many dreams with me. However, this city made me understand that we are not meant for here. We were troubled, and no path was visible. That’s why returning to the village seemed better to us.”
It highlights the challenges and struggles faced by individuals who move from rural areas to urban centres in pursuit of a better life.
Geeta returned to the village with her family. People had a lot to say, but Geeta had decided one thing before going to Gwalior – that she would take care of her family’s life. She tried to understand everything and made efforts to move forward after coming back to her village.
Geeta learned that she could join a Self-Help Group (SHG) in her village to work towards furthering her initiatives. So, she joined the ‘Jai Mata Di’ Self-Help Group in her village and began to understand how to establish her work. She started learning everything from this SHG.
Geeta Ojha, after joining the group, decided that she wanted to open her own dairy. However, the challenge was how to arrange the money. After joining the Self-Help Group, her financial worries seemed less daunting. She discovered that she could easily get a loan under the government’s PMFME scheme. Geeta received a subsidy loan of Rs. 3,60,000 under the PMFME scheme.
After that, she realized that all her troubles were going to end. Geeta started with one buffalo, and today she has 14 buffaloes and 3 cows. Above all she is earning 40 to 50 thousand per month, which is an average salary of a corporate person. She has become an inspiration for everyone who believes that progress is not possible by staying in the village. She is still making every effort to advance her work.
This story illustrates Geeta’s journey from facing challenges in the city to returning to her village, where she found support in a Self-Help Group and obtained a loan to establish her dairy business.
Ravivar Vichar has made a commitment to bring forth the stories of every such woman and make us aware of their lives.
In this WomensWebXMahilaMoney impact series, we bring you entrepreneurs like Geeta Ojha who had not just the ambition to grow, but took the steps needed to bring their dreams to fruition. Apply for a loan of up to 25 lakhs to fuel your business growth by downloading the Mahila Money App on Google Playstore or visiting the website here.
It’s still dark when she opened her eyes that morning. “I’ll sleep for few more minutes”, she thought as she tossed in bed. Her eyes were burning. It was past midnight when she had finished her son’s school project the previous night.
Her alarm rang almost immediately. She quickly switched it off, making sure her husband wasn’t disturbed.
She dragged herself into the washroom and looked at the mirror. Her eyes were red, her face looked dull. “I must do something to my face”, she thought sadly.
As she came into the kitchen, she remembered that there was no more bread in the house; it had got over yesterday. She cursed herself for forgetting to bring a new one. Her son was a fussy eater.. so, she started thinking of options. He hates Idli, Upma etc, so she decided to make pancakes for him for breakfast. She added some ragi flour in the pancakes and packed a box. She put some extra butter and maple syrup, hoping her son would eat it off without noticing the ragi in those.
She started making parathas for lunch, adding extra paneer and vegetables as she was calculating the protein and the nutrients in those. To make it interesting, she added few crisps and quickly made a milk shake to go with it. She smiled, she was proud of herself.
For the snacks, she ran out of options. She decided to plead with her son to eat a banana today.
“I hope he eats the banana for snack”, she thought as she went to wake him up. She watched his sweet face as he was sleeping. She went closer and ran her hand through his hair, waking him up.
After lot of negotiations, she finally pulled him out of bed, got him ready and forced some milk down his throat. She packed his books, lunch, everything, checked him twice, kissed him many times and sent him off to school.
As she came in, still thinking if she should have packed some extra fruits, if he had taken his homework along etc… she noticed that her husband had woke up. She quickly ran into the kitchen and made some coffee.
She brought them both two cups and sat along with him as he had his head buried in the newspaper.
She sighed and opened her phone to browse through the emails. “It’s going to be a hectic day today”, she thought as saw her calendar packed till 7 pm.
She quickly finished the coffee and went back to the kitchen to prepare lunch for them both. Her husband is an Idli and rice person, while her son is a bread and wheat one. Why does this dichotomy have to exist in my house, she sighed as she began to chop vegetables.
She had one hour to start for office, so she ran between the kitchen and the entire house, while getting ready simultaneously and she suddenly stopped.. looking horrified…
There it was staring in her face, the school project she completed last night. She forgot to give it to her son…
She sat down in the chair sadly… thinking of the huge traffic to school and back.. “Why I am so useless!”, she thought to herself angrily.
Image source: by halfpoint Free for Canva Pro
The Railway Men. Mili. Cuttputli. The Diplomat. Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. And more…
Let me introduce to you the talented designer duo who have worked on these, and can be considered today’s upcoming costume designers for the screen. Gunpreet Kaur Mann and Deepali Singh.
Having studied at NIFT, Gunpreet Kaur Mann sent her portfolio out to several designers. Her first gig was as an assistant stylist with Manoshi and Rushi, who also happen to be a designer duo. She worked on an ad film starring Saif Ali Khan and eventually landed a full time job with designer Vikram Phadnis. Years of experience as assistant costume designer followed, which eventually led her to getting a break.
Deepali Singh didn’t know anyone in the industry in the initial stages. She worked as an assistant director on small projects here and there. One day, she was presented with an offer to work on a Marathi film with designer Shiraz Siddique. Many offers in costume designing ensued which is when she realised that costumes were her true calling.
With Amitabh Bachchan on the set of Thugs of Hindostan
The two of them met each other as assistant costume designers in 2015 on the sets of the infamous film Thugs of Hindostan. Since the project went on for nearly three years, they had ample time to establish a strong friendship and work rapport. The desire to venture into projects as a duo followed very organically. It was only a year and a half into seeking out projects as independent designers that they landed Cuttputlli.
I bring to you the journey of a rather dynamic duo of designers who have carved a niche for themselves in spite of all the hurdles that came their way. Driven solely by passion and an intolerance of monotony, they worked their way up the ladder, presenting the industry with an otherwise uncommon united front.
What piqued your interest in costume designing? Was this always the plan?
Deepali: There was absolutely no plan if you ask me. I just ended up doing a degree in commerce but somewhere deep down I always knew that Bollywood was my true calling. In fact, I would even tell my mother that I wanted to work for films, though which aspect of cinema I wanted to work on was unclear back then. It has been a journey. I started off at a channel in Delhi and then came to Bombay and worked in direction, eventually making it into costumes. It worked very well for me, but I don’t really have an educational background per se.
Gunpreet: Both of us have completely different stories, but one thing that we do have in common is the fact that both of us were keen on doing something related to films. I remember watching the movie ‘Rangeela’ when I was in school. It was only after watching the film that I realised that costume designing was an aspect of cinema. From that very moment, I knew I wanted to work as a costume designer. I studied from NIFT Gandhinagar and Parsons NY. It was all fashion, fashion and more fashion for me and thankfully, by the grace of God, we ended up living the dream.
While a film is being crafted, at what point are you roped in?
Deepali: Once the script and director are locked, and pre-production is in swing, they start employing their teams. There is a costume team, a direction team, a camera crew and so on. It is at that point during the making of a film that they actually come to us and start the process.
In the film ‘Mili’, you dressed Jahnvi Kapoor in simple kurtas dyed primarily pink, yellow and bright blue in addition to her uniform which was bright red. However, in ‘The Railwaymen’, the prevalence of more subtle blues, greys, browns and greens was seen. What effect do the different hues, prints and accessories that you design have on the mood of the scenes?
Gunpreet: Colours play a very important role when we are designing a wardrobe for an actor. So, like you mentioned, in ‘Mili’, she is in pastel colours. If you notice, while she is wearing these clothes, she is in a very happy zone. There are these montages where she is meeting this boy, she is very happy, she wants to live her dream. We wanted the colours to reflect the light and happy tone.
With Jahnavi Kapoor on the set of Good Luck Jerry
Whereas in ‘The Railwaymen’, the tone is different. We have a colour palette pertaining to the mood of a scene. In ‘The Railwaymen’, we had a lot of meetings with the director and the DOP wherein certain colours were picked out and we sort of stayed in that zone. We wanted to capture the essence of those scenes.
Deepali: Actually, the initial meetings revolve around locking a colour palette. It is only when that is locked that we go into the silhouettes and designs. The DOPs, the costume and production designers are all involved to ensure that there is no clash in palette.
The Railway Men
How do you balance the actor’s vision with the overall aesthetic of the production while simultaneously adhering to the director’s vision?
Deepali: There are actually a lot of meetings that take place. A lot of discussions, involving all pertinent members of the team happen and generally, the actors are in sync with their character. Of course, if an actor approaches us and says that a particular colour doesn’t suit them or something along those lines, we take that into account.
A still from Mili
Gunpreet: Also, from our end we try as much as we can, because in terms of costume we have that kind of an understanding of what colours would work for a particular actor, for a particular skin tone, etc. We come up with colours that we think would work and then like she said, the director will tell us about their vision. We try to take everyone’s feedback to ensure that the entire team is happy.
Considering your impressive body of work, what is it that you do differently from other costume designers?
Deepali: Our united front aside, we present the industry with an amalgamation of rustic Indian prints and modern costumes influenced by the metropolitan cities that we currently live and work in. I grew up in Meerut and proceeded to study in Delhi. As someone who is extremely ‘desi’ at heart, I love my Indian block prints. On the regular, you will be able to find me sporting block print kurtis and scarves that I source from my travel around the country or from Indi brand. I try and infuse my love for such prints, textures and weaves into the costumes that we design for the characters in our films.
Working with masterji to bring their vision into reality
Gunpreet: During my education, I got the opportunity to learn and understand various Indian crafts, weaves, dyeing techniques and embroideries. This being an area of interest for me as well, has ensured that we integrate these elements into our films whenever aesthetically possible. For example, the film ‘Cuttputlli’ was set in Himachal Pradesh. So, we contacted a local vendor from that region and sourced local authentic kottis, caps and shawls from them. Other than that, I would like to believe that both of us are very dedicated to what we do. So, the moment we are on board for a film, I believe that the insane amount of research we do also sets us apart. If the character in the film comes from a certain type of family, or say the character comes from a specific city, we look for places where we can weave those aspects of the character into the costume without making it very obvious. We put our heart and sole into research.
Deepali: Sometimes it even gets too intense. At the end of the day, it is cinema. So, one must take cinematic liberty. Sometimes the directors even ask us to come out of our research, because we do too much of it!
With the resurgence of Indian prints like Bandhni, Ajrakhand Kalamkari, do you see a shift in trend among designers in the industry?
Gunpreet: Honestly, when it comes to films, I feel like these elements are always there. I don’t know if everyone notices it, but those who have an eye for these prints probably do. In terms of everyday fashion, they certainly go and come. However, they never disappear from the cinematic universe.
Do you believe in recycling and reusing elements of costumes? If so, how do you implement this in your projects?
Checking out old costumes to recycle
Gunpreet: Productions generally have an inventory of costumes which were used in previous films. So, we ask them for the inventory and look for costumes worn by certain actors which didn’t end up becoming iconic pieces of clothing. We try to pull all of those pieces out and reuse them. We don’t give it to main actors where it would really come to notice. However, there are a lot of background characters which are passing, there are secondary and tertiary characters. We try to clothe them in those pieces so that we don’t add on to the huge amount of wastage generated by the fashion industry.
Deepali: Both of us are big fans of home-grown brands. We try and get in touch with them, avoiding fast fashion. Home-grown brands also generally have a USP which we like to highlight.
Considering the ubiquity of sexism, I am sure you guys would have experienced a lot of it. If comfortable, do you mind sharing a few such anecdotes with us? Also, when and how did you get your break in spite of these hurdles?
Gunpreet: Together, Deepali and I have not really faced this. We approach our work in a way that doesn’t leave room for sexism.
In my younger days though, I did face this at certain points in some ways. Men, who were at the same level as me, were given more weightage than I was. However, I feel the way I did overcome this at all those points was through my work. In all of these incidents, the same thing happened. As days passed and people noticed the kind of work and experience Ibrought to the table, I was able to change their opinion in my favour. I have never had to boil my blood over this. Any time I noticed this, I was able to put a strong foot forward and deliver good work, that was enough to quieten them. And now with years of experience, I am able to come across as stronger, put my point forward and make them be heard & respected.
Having said that, I do believe that our industry has a lot of women working behind the scenes who are absolutely brilliant at what they do. They are able to sustain these positions because they are able to deliver excellent work irrespective of their gender.
Deepali: I do feel, that it is not about being a man or a woman, it’s about how you carry yourself. I’ve seen strong woman being given tons of respect and meek men being suppressed or not taken seriously. So, I do feel very strongly that if you are confident in your work & yourself, irrespective of being a man or a woman, your word will be given importance.
Could you walk us through who comprise your team?
With the team
Absolutely! Our team is our backbone and we would be nothing without them. We have been fortunate enough to always find some of the most dedicated members. Our team usually comprises a wardrobe supervisor, who is responsible for all the planning and execution along with us. This position serves as a link between us and the production and direction teams. Then, we have our senior costume assistants, junior costume assistants and interns. We also have a dressmen team and shoot tailors. The number of assistants and dressmendepends on the scale of the project. During the pre-production stage, we have a team of tailors, embroiderers and fabrication vendors as well.
Having worked on both, could you walk us through the difference between working on a TV commercial as opposed to working on a movie?
Deepali: Cinema is more story-driven. They have a motive, a story, they want to convey something. You connect with the characters and become one with the film while working on it. Ads are 30 seconds long even though a lot of work goes into them as well. The entire process of shooting a commercial takes ten days tops. There are people who dedicate their lives to TV and ads. So, it is actually a very personal choice. But, for us, we are into films since there is a story and a vision which makes us gravitate towards cinema. Even as we worked as assistants on ads, we realised that cinema was our true calling.
Are there any challenges specific to your profession that you would like to share?
Gunpreet: Everyday is a new challenge!
Deepali: The industry is so uncertain and so project-based. You are meeting new people every day! You can’t even book your tickets in advance. Even if you know that a shoot is going to happen in say February or March, you cannot book tickets for April because something will happen in February and the shoot will get postponed. That is probably the biggest disadvantage. Another thing is, since it is a project-based profession, you don’t get a monthly salary. Sometimes you make a lot of money and sometimes you don’t. The uncertainty of the film industry is something that takes a toll on us.
But I would say that is a good thing, especially for a person like me. When I used to work at a corporate office, the monotony got to me. The film industry wouldn’t work for people who prefer to have an organised lifestyle though.
Gunpreet: We do this thing called a costume breakdown wherein we see how many costumes can be allotted to a character keeping the scene in mind. Suddenly, the next day we get a revised script with a completely different scene! Then, we are forced to rework on it. While working on ‘The Railwaymen’ there was an outfit for which the director’s requirement was that when we put water on the outfit, it should just slide down from the fabric. This was discussed late at night, and the costume was required to be ready by the next afternoon. I remember our entire team going crazy, running around, looking for the perfect fabric! At the end of it all, we are very resilient. If we know we have to do it, we will do it!
Deepali: Again, it is a creative process! You have always got to be on your toes and you are never done! Even in ‘The Railwaymen’, we were doing trials till the very last day.
Most challenging assignment till date?
The Railwaymen
A project that you wish you had been a part of in the past?
We want to be a part of romcom projects! ‘Rocky Aur Rani Kii Prem Kahani’ to name one!
An outfit you deem overrated?
Latest trends are overrated! This is because people follow them blindly without taking into account whether the trend actually suits them or not.
A designer or label that you draw inspiration from?
Manish Malhotra! We have also worked with Rushi and Manoshi, who have worked on projects such as ‘Queen’, ‘PK’, ‘Shamshera’ etc, and are always inspired by them.
I have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will. This is the experience of ample women across the globe. The expectation to be thanked for all the sacrifices she makes to keep others happy has faded. Yet the urge to hear few words of acknowledgement always lingers.
There is never a day when she pushes off her own burdens. She knows not to give up on people she loves. Women in general, are givers by nature and hence, give without asking anything in return. They have been the care givers and lovers since centuries however receive no appreciation.
It will mean the world to your mother if you answer her calls. If your sister seems lost give her a hug and assure her about her strengths. Tomorrow, there might come a day when you would have to make your daughter feel empowered with few words of wisdom every now and then. For the children to feel wanted and loved, you must be able to spare some quality time with your wife and be present in the moment.
It is obligatory to realize the value of admiring energy one puts into a relationship. A woman is always haunted by questions even if she is an achiever. Is she doing enough? Is she good enough? There is always the demon of doubt which terrorizes her. She tries her best to disguise her disbelieves but it creeps in sometimes at the break of dawn when she lies awake in the bed. Many times, their efforts go unrecognized.
A ‘thank you’ makes a lot of difference in the way she sees herself in your eyes. It might even mean the world to her. The little efforts counts and she cherishes these moments till her very last breath.
Often it has been explained to us that execution of responsibilities need not be treasured. Then again, the best version of ourselves reminds us that we do not need an esteemed approval. However, the little pieces of the leisure are spent wondering. Wondering! How amazing it would be to be told that our time and attempts matter.
The darkness of the night brings forth these desires. Every time, we shut those out of the window of hope! Waiting for them to come as visitors through the door of conviction someday. Maybe because, we have not received any appreciation in the past. Probably never will.
Investing in mutual funds can be a wise decision for women. There are certain aspects and challenges that might make mutual funds particularly appealing or beneficial for women, given the unique financial realities and societal roles they often navigate.
Here’s a more focused perspective on why mutual funds might hold special appeal for women and I will support each reason with a real life story that I have encountered:
Women often face a pay gap compared to their male counterparts and tend to live longer. This means they may need to stretch their savings over a longer retirement period. Investing in mutual funds can help women grow their savings more effectively over time to account for these realities.
When Anjali started her career in a competitive IT industry, she quickly realized the realities of a gender pay gap. Despite having similar qualifications and experiences, her male colleagues often received higher pay and more rapid promotions. This realization spurred her to take control of her financial future.
Women are more likely to take career breaks for reasons such as maternity leave or caring for family members. These breaks can impact their earning potential and retirement savings. By investing in mutual funds, women can potentially offset some of the financial impact of these career gaps through investment growth.
After marriage Nidhi took a brief career break to care for her newborn. During this time, she became acutely aware of her family’s financial dependency on a single income and the need to manage risks and ensure security for her child’s future. Her risk-averse nature made her cautious about investing in volatile markets directly.
Both Anjali and Nidhi started exploring their investment options and were introduced to mutual funds by a friend. They were attracted to the idea of diversifying their investment across various asset classes to reduce risk. Additionally, the option to start investing with a relatively small amount through Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) fit their budget well.
Nidhi and Anjali decided to invest in a balanced mutual fund, which offered a mix of equity and debt investments, providing a moderate growth opportunity while keeping the risk in check. They appreciated that their investment was managed by professional fund managers, which gave them peace of mind and allowed them to focus on their career and family.
Studies suggest that women tend to be more risk-averse than men. Investing in mutual funds offers a way to grow a diversified portfolio, which can help mitigate risk and align with a more conservative investment approach, while still providing the opportunity for growth.
For women aiming for financial independence, mutual funds offer a straightforward way to invest in a diversified portfolio. This can be especially important for women who may be navigating financial independence after a life change such as divorce or the death of a spouse.
As Anjali’s confidence grew, she diversified her investments into equity-oriented mutual funds for higher growth potential, aiming for long-term financial goals, including her child’s education and her retirement. The flexibility of SIPs enabled her to increase her investments as her salary grew.
Anjali also took advantage of Equity Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS) for tax-saving purposes, which not only helped reduce her taxable income but also contributed to her wealth accumulation.
Women often play a key role in managing household finances and planning for family goals such as education, home buying, or retirement. Mutual funds can be an effective tool for goal-based savings, allowing women to plan for and meet these financial goals over time.
Over the years, Nidhi’s disciplined approach to investing paid off. The SIPs she had set up grew significantly, thanks to the power of compounding. Her investments helped fund her children’s higher education and secured a comfortable retirement for herself and her husband. Moreover, Nidhi became a role model in her community, inspiring other women to take charge of their financial futures.
Engaging with mutual funds can encourage financial literacy and empowerment among women. Understanding and participating in the investment process can boost confidence in financial decision-making and encourage further financial education.
However, Nidhi and Anjali were aware of the potential downsides of the mutual funds. Among the most significant was the impact of fees, including management fees and other expenses, which can vary widely and significantly affect net returns over time. Additionally, both knew that while diversification reduces risk, it doesn’t eliminate it; market volatility can affect mutual funds just as it does individual stocks, and there’s no guarantee of returns. Tax implications also warrant consideration, as mutual funds can generate capital gains distributions that are taxable to the investor, potentially impacting the overall tax efficiency of one’s investment strategy.
Moreover, the performance of mutual funds heavily relies on fund management – so Anjali and Nidhi were very thoughtful in making the selection of a fund with a strong track. Understanding these challenges was essential for making informed investment choices, ensuring that the advantages of mutual funds were leveraged effectively against their inherent risks.
The flexibility to start with smaller amounts through SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) makes mutual funds accessible for women at various stages of financial readiness. This flexibility can be particularly appealing for those who are balancing multiple financial responsibilities.
Anjali spent months educating herself on mutual funds, understanding the difference between equity, debt, and hybrid funds. With her risk-averse nature, she initially chose to invest in debt mutual funds, which provided steady returns with lower risk compared to equity funds.
As she grew more confident, Anjali diversified her portfolio to include balanced funds, aiming for higher returns while still managing the risk. She was particularly attracted to the idea of her money being professionally managed, as it relieved her from the pressure of having to make complex investment decisions on her own.
Mutual funds can be an effective component of estate planning, helping women ensure that their wealth is managed and transferred according to their wishes. This can be important for women who are primary caregivers or who want to leave a financial legacy for their children or other family members.
What started as a small step towards contributing to Anjali and Nidhi’s family’s finances became a journey of empowerment and independence for them. The mutual funds not only grew their family’s wealth but also boosted their confidence in financial decision-making. They became actively involved in financial planning discussions, and their story encouraged many women in their circle to start their investment journeys.
Image source: by ShutterOK from Getty Images Free for Canva Pro
For 18 years, Andhra-based Sakeela lovingly nurtured her treasured tailoring shop, embracing the legacy passed down by her mother. Fond memories of her mother and their bond, only ignited her passion for the craft.
In this WomensWebXMahilaMoney impact series, we bring you entrepreneurs like Sakeela who had not just the ambition to grow, but took the steps needed to bring their dreams to fruition. Apply for a loan of up to 25 lakhs to fuel your business growth by downloading the Mahila Money App on Google Playstore or visiting the website here.
“My mother began this journey with her hand-embroidered sarees, and now, I am proud to carry her legacy forward by infusing a personalised touch into an even wider range of garments,” Sakeela passionately shares.
Sarees, blouses, pattus and ladies’ suit sets grace the racks; each piece transformed into a unique work of art through Sakeela’s hand embroidery and stone work expertise. Her creativity knows no bounds as she customises each garment to perfectly match her customers’ desires and requirements.
In addition to her physical shop, Sakeela has embraced the digital world, finding a virtual home for her exquisite embroidery creations on popular social media platforms like WhatsApp, Facebook, and YouTube. Recognising the need to adapt to the evolving landscape, she initiated her online presence and now owns two thriving Instagram pages. One page showcases her hand-embroidery collection, while the other is solely dedicated to the gorgeous collection of sarees she offers.
Sakeela shares, “I realised I needed to adjust to the evolving world by transitioning to the online space. Promoting my work on different social media platforms has drastically improved my success. My Instagram pages, in particular, have become the primary source of maximum online orders.”
Sakeela’s clientele primarily comprises customers from southern India, focusing on Tamil Nadu, Karnataka, and Andhra Pradesh. However, her expertise extends beyond national borders, as she also offers courier services to international destinations such as Switzerland, Canada, and the United States. With a steady stream of orders pouring in, both online and offline, Sakeela’s artistry has found its way into the hearts of many. “When it comes to daily orders, I receive around 20 to 30 online orders. At the same time, my shop caters to an average of 30 to 40 walk-in customers per day”, shares Sakeela.
A strong business sense meant Sakeela proactively pursued a strategic solution by seeking a business loan in 2022. She wanted to evolve her offerings and secure additional inventory in response to the surging demand and anticipation of festive seasons. Having discovered Mahila Money online, she promptly initiated the loan application process for INR 1 Lakh, diligently submitting all the requisite documentation. Impressively, within a week, the requested funds were seamlessly transferred to her account, enabling her to procure essential materials for her shop.
Sakeela’s commendable commitment to timely loan repayments did not go unnoticed by Mahila Money, leading to a significant milestone in her financial journey. During the 2022 Diwali Top-Up loan offer, Sakeela was offered a top-up loan of INR 50K. This financial infusion acted as a catalyst, leading her tailoring business to brim with orders during the Diwali festivities, amplifying her profits and moving her toward a trajectory of growth.
Reflecting on the pivotal role that Mahila Money played in fortifying her business and augmenting her sales, Sakeela expressed her gratitude, stating, “Mahila Money’s support has been crucial in boosting my business and driving higher sales. This partnership has given me the confidence to run my business efficiently and create beautiful masterpieces.”
Venturing beyond the realms of selling Mangalgiri, Gadwal, and Dharmavaram sarees, Sakeela is currently in her element, crafting personalised and exquisite sarees that resonate with her client’s unique preferences. Post the loan, her business profits have surged significantly, escalating from INR 1.18 lacs to an impressive monthly total of INR 2 lacs. Demonstrating her commitment to responsible business practices, Sakeela consistently prioritises her loan repayments, reflecting her profound appreciation towards her steadfast financial partner.
Sakeela envisions a future where her business caters to pan-India and more international locations, distributing her craft far and wide. Her dreams extend to transforming her shop into a one-stop destination for all ladies’ garment requirements.
As she gazes at the legacy she inherited from her mother, Sakeela’s heart swells with pride and determination. “I want to make my mother proud,” she confided. “To continue what she started and to take it to even greater heights is a dream I hold dear to my heart.”
Sakeela is about to apply for her third loan with Mahila Money to expand her stocks for the upcoming festive seasons. Her story inspires women in her town to #JiyoApneDumPe. She shows that with passion, resilience, and the right support, even a neighbourhood tailoring shop can dream of expanding into a successful embroidery business.
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Hindu marriages are characterized by their cultural richness and unique traditions. However, they are deeply entrenched in patriarchy, misogyny, and sexism. The traditions put unfair expectations over women while placing men over a pedestal. These norms build the union on an inherently unequal basis. Despite this, society continues to indulge in them just because they have been practiced for centuries and perpetuates the suffocating status of women.
Since adolescence, young girls are prepared for matrimony and are educated about ‘life skills’ required to lead a ‘happy married life.’ A woman is expected to be mature enough when she reaches the ‘marriageable age.’ She is taught to behave in a stereotypically feminine manner because “agle ghar jaana hai.”
It is ironic to note that all expectations of compromise, sacrifice, and adjustment are put only on the woman. The young woman is expected to navigate the intricacies of married life in her in-laws house while the man can continue to be his pre-marriage self. These sexist ideas both permeate into and draw from symbolic rituals that are a part of Hindu marriages.
The rituals involved in Hindu wedding ceremonies treat the brides as a secondary entity. The ‘Saat Vachan’ or Seven Vows taken during the ceremony restrict the foundations of the couple’s union to stereotypical gender roles. Providing for the family is reserved for the groom while taking care of the household for the woman. Priests can also be heard saying during the ceremony that after marriage, the woman has to ask for permission from her husband and parents’-in-law before stepping out of the house.
The most evident patriarchal ritual is Kanyadaan- that translates to “donating the daughter.” It is the tradition of the father giving his daughter away to the husband. It indicates that the woman is a commodity that can be donated and must be under the control of a man at all times. She is a man’s responsibility and needs to be provided for.
Furthermore, talking about the Vidaai, it is never questioned why the woman is expected to leave her home behind while the man stays put in his own house.
One of the most deeply entrenched traditions is that of dowry. Although it is illegal, dowry disguised as gifts is a part of every union, no matter how aware the families may be. It is covered up as a tool of showing “respect” to the groom’s family and relatives. Along with this, the bride’s family is somehow obligated to the groom’s family. Parents of girls internalize this notion and believe that they always have to metaphorically bow down to the groom and his family.
Misogyny does not end after the ceremonies, and in fact, the wedding is just the beginning. ‘Solah Shringar’ is an overlooked aspect of patriarchy. It implies that only the woman, and not the man, is required to look different after marriage.
The bride is expected to ‘adorn’ herself with markers of matrimony and is branded with the ‘sindoor’, ‘mangalsutra’, and ‘chooda’, that bind her in the clenches of patriarchy.
Women internalize the importance of ‘shringar’ by being repeatedly told that it “enhances their beauty.” It is believed that the sindoor provides a cooling effect to the body, but infact, the colour red in these ornaments is the marker of the woman’s fertility and chastity. It simply indicates that she is no longer a virgin. The practice of shringaar also conveys an obsession with the woman’s physical beauty and fetishization of her body.
In addition to this, changing of the woman’s surname and children taking up the father’s last name are undebatable things in the patriarchal society. By changing her surname, marriage changes and negates the most basic part of the woman’s identity.
The rituals that take place after the wedding- like Karwa Chauth- are also deeply sexist. They forward the idea that it is the woman’s duty to suffer for the man to prosper. Misogyny lies in micro practices like the woman touching the man’s feet that lend godly authority to the man.
Lastly, matrimony brings along the ‘duty’ of giving birth. Women have always unquestionably been giving birth. It is a responsibility bestowed upon them. Infact, women who make the choice of not having kids are perceived to not be in their right mind. It is said that they would understand their responsibility soon.
As a society, we need to examine why we continue to practice un-feminist traditions even in today’s age of women’s education and financial independence. In order to build an egalitarian society, these widely accepted norms and rituals involved in marriages need to be questioned and shattered.
It was almost midnight. I was dead tired and fatigued.
I was feeling drained out and fatigued. My head was hurting badly. Sleep seemed far from eyes. I was tossing and turning in the bed I noticed his eyes were gaping at me, perhaps he wasn’t getting sleep either. Our eyes locked and soon I felt drawn toward his mysterious and irresistible charm.
With parted lips, he looked up through lashes. His side glancing at me stole my heart.
I could read his rising emotions and feelings.
He glided towards me stretched his hands and placed them on my heart. My heart almost skipped a beat and with a palpated heart I drew myself closer to him. Slowly his palms moved upward inching towards my forehead. He stroked my hair a couple of times and gently massaged my head by moving his hands all around my scalp in a circular motion. The warmth of his hands and soft velvety touch assuaged my exploding pain. He applied balm on my forehead to soothe my pain and make me sleep better.
He planted a kiss on my forehead and placed a bottle of water and painkillers on the side table. Because he knew if it was migraine attack it would not go away until I swallowed those tiny, red shiny pills. Slowly I fell into deep slumber.
Spring had almost arrived. New leaves, flowers and stems had started springing up. Whenever the cool breeze brushed up my face I got a whiff of the scent of sweet and fruity flowers. My husband is very fond of plantation and gardening. He loves growing fruits and vegetables. I drove to the nearest nursery and bought varieties of baby plants of his liking. The moment he saw those plants his face lit up with a scintillating smile. Seeing him happy my heart overflowed with joy.
In these 23 years of camaraderie and association, we have not only grown together as husband and wife but also evolved as parents and more as human beings.
The love between us has become profound and deeper. Though the way we manifest and express it has changed over time but matured enough to live with each other’s weaknesses. Rather than physical intimacy and fascination it has developed into mental intimacy and devotion.
Instead of buying flowers, watching a romantic movie or pampering each other with expensive gifts, we prefer spending quality time together. We run errands together, whether it is going to the library, visiting a doctor or indulging in grocery shopping. I pick fruits that he likes he bags vegetables of my choice.
Instead of ‘me time’ we prefer having ‘we time’.
Over a cup of hot tea, we relive our childhood days by talking about them and the playful mischief associated with them. Whenever he tells stories of his childhood mischiefs, his eyes sparkle and a tinge of innocence prevails on his face.
He is a chatterbox when it comes to talking. I give him company by lending a listening ear.
He would narrate his childhood stories as if he were narrating his success story.
He makes me feel important and looked after and I adore and respect him.
We have become companions of each other in happiness and sorrow.
Over time love has evolved in various ways as our relationship matured. Initial love may be characterized by intense passion and infatuation but as time went on, it deepened into a more profound and enduring bond. Trust, understanding, and companionship thrived between us as we grew older while the initial intensity felt more stable and comforting kind of love. Over time, we developed a deep sense of familiarity and acceptance of each other’s flaws, leading to a more patient and enduring love. In consequence, our shared experiences, mutual growth, and deep emotional connection continued to strengthen over the years.
Image source: by Deepak Sethi from Getty Images Signature Free for Canva Pro
Ha.. ha… I am not the voice for 78% of Indian Christians, but only for myself.
So when I started to get bothered over my blank forehead that had a lot of space, I realised that I better be ahead of the bus to understand why Hindus wear Bindi, though I know it’s no use like how they claimed about “drugs” in the name of sastram.
Why do Hindu women keep Bindis or Sindoor?
Both are different, as they say, based on the location and probably the type of material used to colour them. It is placed on the forehead at the centre spot between the two eyebrows.
It’s fashion these days! But is more of a cultural and signature for women and its Hindu tradition!
Benefits:
Bindi relieves headaches.
Bindi clears sinuses in the forehead.
Bindi improves vision and eye health.
Bindi rejuvenates the facial skin to look young.
Bindi has an aroma because of the material used, and it also relaxes because of the acupressure, thereby preventing depression.
Bindi improves hearing.
Bindi will help to reduce stress, eye strain, fatigue, and insomnia.
Bindi boosts memory and concentration.
Bindi improves intuition and awareness.
Well, now coming to the point of why Christians do not keep Bindi?
Simple.
It’s mostly a Hindu tradition that Christians do not want to follow as it has religious significance.
They should have adopted by observing the women missionaries who came to India spreading the word of God who is not used to wearing Bindis.
Bindi is removed in widowed women and is part of the patriarchal societal system. But in Christianity women do not lose their significant position in society, for if you remember Jesus has fought for a prostitute to all the men who threw stones at her and have healed many women. Single women were also common. For God marital status was insignificant. God kept women on par with men. This is why he made Eve from Adam’s rib and not the tarsals of his ankle. So the death of a husband is not stigmatized and ritualized against her to isolate her socially. Widows are allowed to remarry. So Bindi is not worn not to differentiate women based on her marital status.
Some of my Christian friends have discussed this when I was in college – I have always asked them to shut up and stop bothering me as I have a better business – they told me that is because of the cross that is blessed during baptism and every Holy Communion. They think it is not right to have something applied, especially because they have related it to Hindu culture and God, on top of God’s blessing in the form of the Cross, on which Jesus died for us.
Ask me why I don’t wear it? Because my mother doesn’t wear one.
Beyond that, I cannot tolerate it spreading and slipping on my face or have the patience to spend time placing one on my forehead. I don’t want that material to give me the confidence and a beauty appeal to my face.
I have worn this stuff on my head on a few occasions – when I staged for Bharatanatyam as a child, then during my farewell at school when my sister’s friend wanted to have her final touch on me, and lastly when I staged for dramatics as a Brahmin girl at college. But I always think, if I had continued my Bharatanatyam classes, I would have danced without Bindi to experiment especially for Christian Carnatic compositions.
Above all, if you ask me to keep Bindi, I will say a “Please, No, thank you!” Basically because I don’t find a need to dress up myself with that extra stuff on my forehead!
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