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In a land where cricket was predominantly a man’s game, a young girl from Jodhpur, Rajasthan dared to dream big, dared to hold the cricket bat, and dared to change the face of Indian women’s cricket forever. Her name is Mithali Raj.
An Indian cricketer and former captain of the Indian women’s cricket team, Mithali Raj has been a star performer throughout her 23-year-long career. She is an inspiration for many girls wishing to make a name for themselves in the cricketing world.
Raj can be considered a pioneer in popularising cricket as a sport for girls in India at a time when it was identified predominantly as a man’s game. Dismissing all misconceptions with her exuberant performance, she succeeded in etching her name in the memories of cricket fans in India and beyond.
Mithali Raj was born in Jodhpur, Rajasthan in 1982 to Dorai and Leela Raj. She did her schooling at Keyes High School for Girls in Hyderabad and later studied at Kasturba Gandhi Junior College for Women in Secunderabad.
Training in Bharatnatyam, playing cricket wasn’t a choice that the young Mithali made willingly. Strangely, her father who was an officer in the Indian Air Force made her accompany her brother to his cricket coaching just to ensure that she did not sleep till late.
At the grounds, while she spent most of her time sitting by the boundary, at times she also tried her hand at knocking with the bat. Her style impressed a coach at the academy, Jyothi Prasad, who recognising her talent recommended her to Sampath Kumar. Thus began a journey that was to change the face of Indian women’s cricket forever.
Under the tutelage of Sampath Kumar, Raj emerged as one of the most technically precise cricketers that the country has ever produced. Her upbringing in a strict army background accorded her the discipline that has been a bedrock of her career.
Mithali began by playing for the Indian Railways. Making her ODI debut at the tender age of 16, she smashed an unbeaten 114 against Ireland, becoming the first and the only woman player to score a century in her debut match. In 2005, she was handed the captaincy of the national team.
In the years following her debut, she adroitly established herself as a lynchpin of the Indian batting order. Her bat knew no limits when it came to beating runs on the pitch.
Mithali Raj not only smashed a century in her debut match, she is the woman with the most runs in the game. Despite retiring from T20I in 2019, she continues to be India’s highest scorer in the format. In 2018, she also became the first cricketer to reach the 2000 runs mark in WT20Is.
In the 2017 ODI World Cup, she became the highest run-scorer in ODIs and the first woman to reach the 6000 runs milestone in the format. Currently, she is the only female cricketer to have 7000+ runs in women’s ODIs.
Raj is the only Indian captain- male or female- to lead the team to two ODI World Cup finals, in 2005 and 2017 respectively. She also has an unbeaten seven consecutive half-centuries record in women’s cricket.
In a test match in 2002, she scored a massive 214 which was the highest in the format till then. In 2019 she also became the first woman cricketer to complete two decades in ODI.
She played 24 matches as a captain in the World Cup in her career, which is the maximum for a player. In addition, she has the most number of wins as a captain in ODIs. She has also captained 150+ ODI matches, which is a feat in itself.
Mithali Raj’s records undoubtedly made her a force to reckon with in female cricket.
Achieving all this wasn’t an easy task for Raj as people, including her own grandparents, constantly dissuaded her from pursuing a male sport. She started playing cricket when it was still in its initial stages for women in the country.
While men’s cricket was flourishing and male cricketers bathed in stardom and riches, women players had to struggle with poor quality equipment and facilities, and a severe lack of funds. The conditions they played under internationally were not available at home, hampering their training.
The women waged their incessant fight with the system while continuing their upward stride in the sport. It was in 2005 that the BCCI brought women’s cricket under its umbrella and women cricketers were given central contracts only in 2016.
However, it was the 2017 World Cup that actually brought limelight and national and international recognition to Indian women’s cricket. Yet, it took the BCCI another 5 years to equate the match fees of male and female cricketers in the country.
That notwithstanding, their annual salaries continue to be grossly unequal.
The government of India honoured Mithali Raj with the Arjun Award in 2004 and the Padma Shri in 2015. She was also awarded the Major Dhyan Chand Khel Ratna in 2021.
She has been awarded the Vogue Sportsperson of the Year award and the BBC 100 Women Award. Additionally, she received the Wisden Leading Woman Cricketer in the World Award in 2017.
In 2022, the Srijit Mukherji-directed biopic of Raj ‘Shaabaash Mithuu’ was released nationally. The film stars Tapsee Pannu in the titular role. It tries to capture the various moments of ups and downs in the cricketer’s illustrious career.
While the film received mixed reviews from audiences, it was a major box office failure, garnering around Rs. 2.89 crores out of a budget of Rs. 48 crores.
Mithali Raj was the face of Indian women’s cricket for more than two decades. Her laurels and her undying commitment to the sport are worthy of emulation by future generations of female cricketers.
With her game, she set the stage for thousands of girls to showcase their brilliance to the outside world. Her contributions to cricket can definitely not be overlooked.
Her retirement from the sport in 2022 brought down the curtains on one of the most distinguished careers in female cricket. It was the end of an era.
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Trigger warning: This speaks of racism and death of Indian students, and may be triggering to survivors.
Today morning while I was on my way to the office, I was scrolling Instagram and immediately my eyes got stuck on a post having the headline, “US Policeman ran over an Indian Student in Seattle”. Jaahnavi Kandula, a 23-year-old Northeast University Graduate student from Andhra Pradesh was struck and killed in January this year by a Seattle cop, Kevin Dave, while driving 74 mph on the way to a report of an overdose call.”
Further, I read that the investigating agency while watching the body-worn camera that captured the whole incident, were laughing and joking about the death and commented that her life had “limited value”. If the deceased had been a US citizen, would they have behaved in the similar way, I feel not?
Before I start my blog, I want to put a disclaimer that this is only a written presentation of my opinion and point of view; my intention is not to disrespect or contempt any particular country.
It takes me back to my college days and I remember how my friends used to share their desires to travel abroad for higher studies and build a better lifestyle for them and their families. I too had applied for a Canada PR in 2019. I cleared IELTS and got my equivalent certificate from World Education Services (WES) Canada but changed my mind at the last moment.
Not only friends, I have family members who are settled in the US, Canada, Dubai, Australia and other countries too. I am not questioning someone’s decision but after reading these kind of headlines lately, I want to ask that “is it worth it?”
When my family comes to India for vacation, they always crib about the lack of help in other countries, they always mention India is lucky to have maids, technicians, mechanics, elections etc but there we need to do everything ourselves. So my question to them is – didn’t you know this earlier?
If I talk especially about Indian students studying abroad, acknowledging the headlines lately, I don’t think they are safe anymore. This article says, “In 2024 alone, seven students of both Indian and Indian American origin have died. All men 25 years old and under, two died by suicide, two died of overdoses, two were found dead after going missing, and one was beaten to death, according to police records in states ranging from Connecticut to Indiana.”
Also, they are not respected. We have been hearing about racism by white people – naming others brown people and black people for years.
My intention is not to stop people from going abroad but they should select the country wisely taking into consideration all the parameters so that they can fulfill also those dreams which they carry in their kitty while traveling abroad.
26 years is too long to wait, but this time the wait is worth it!
Ex. Lt. Selina John, who was a permanent commissioned officer in the Military Nursing Service, was removed from army service in 1988 on the ground that she had got married. The career of women is as it is tied to a thin string. She has to face criticism from her family, being judged by those deeply ingrained patriarchal thoughts. On top of it, if workplaces create biases like this, there is hardly any hope!
But the Supreme Court announced a historical decision yesterday (21/02/24) Being married cannot be a reason for expelling a woman from work. This leads to gender bias and inequality. We are in 2024, and carrying these patriarchal thoughts would only tighten the shackles and barriers for women.
If a woman does not get married, society keeps traumatizing her, reminding her of the biological clock, increasing age, and other factors. However, if workplaces come up with biases like these, it only adds to the long list of issues that women already have in their lives and are dealing with.
“Acceptance of such a patriarchal rule undermines human dignity and right to non-discrimination,” the court said while hearing an appeal by the Centre challenging an Armed Forces Tribunal order for her reinstatement.
Bringing 26 years of the legal battle of the woman officer to an end, a bench of Justices Sanjiv Khanna and Dipankar Datta directed that Lt Selina John be paid the amount as a full and final settlement of all the claims. Her job was terminated as per the Army Instruction No. 61 of 1977 titled “Terms and Conditions of Service for the Grant of Permanent Commissions in the Military Nursing Service”, but it was withdrawn in 1995 when the litigation was pending.
“Laws and regulations based on gender-based bias are constitutionally impermissible. Rules making marriage of women employees and their domestic involvement a ground for disentitlement would be unconstitutional,” the court added.
How convenient it is to put women in this fix and make them a kettle of fish; Neither letting them marry nor letting them work! Not sure if these 26 years can be reimbursed by the monetary compensation provided by the system. But, thanks to Selina for being hopeful and struggling for 26 long years, at least the Supreme Court had a change of thought. Now it’s employers’ and society’s turn to accept this change.
In the patriarchal culture, the role of the father has traditionally been painted with hues of authority and provider. The image of the hardworking Indian father, leading his family with a sense of majesty, is etched into our collective memory. In the olden times, he was the pillar of strength, shouldering the responsibilities of the household, while the mother tended to the day-to-day needs, even pouring water on his head during baths as a gesture of care and respect.
But as time unfurls its chapters, our societal narrative has undergone a huge metamorphosis in the past few decades. The winds of change has brought forth a new archetype – the modern Indian father. This evolution is not a departure from tradition, but rather a beautiful adaptation to the currents of modernity.
Gone are the days when the father’s role was confined to the periphery of the provider. Today, we witness a transformation where fathers actively engage in the nurturing and upbringing of their children. They are not just providers but also nurturers, companions, and confidants. They understand the importance of being present in their children’s lives, not just as authority figures but as mentors and friends. Children listen to them out of love and respect and not just fear.
The advent of the internet and globalisation has brought about an adjustment of knowledge and ideas. With access to information at their fingertips, fathers are now more aware and enlightened about their roles within the family. They are breaking free from traditional gender roles and embracing a more impartial approach to parenting.
Moreover, the progressive mindset of men towards gender equality has paved the way for a shift in dynamics within the household. Today, we see loving fathers who joyfully participate in household chores, sharing the burden with their partners. They recognize that a happy and harmonious home is built on shared responsibilities and mutual respect.
In this modern era, the image of the Indian father has undergone a profound change. He is no longer just the head of the household but a partner in every sense of the word. He celebrates his partner’s achievements and supports her aspirations, understanding that her success is a reflection of their shared journey.
As we embrace this evolving trend of fatherhood, let us celebrate the modern Indian dad – a loving, nurturing presence in the lives of his children, a supportive partner to his spouse, and a beacon of progress and equality in our society. Let us cherish and applaud these men who embody the spirit of modern fatherhood, for they are shaping a future where love, respect, and equality flourish within our homes.
Let us embrace this remarkable transformation with open arms and hopeful hearts, as we yearn for a future where the warmth of modern fatherhood illuminates every corner of our society. Let us not criticise men who do household chores nor look down upon women who chase careers. May this change be not just a fleeting moment, but a resounding call to action, inspiring more men to rise and embrace their roles with love, compassion, and unwavering commitment. Let us stand together in welcoming this profound shift and fervently wish for its ripple effect to touch the lives of countless families, shaping a world where every child grows up surrounded by the boundless love of an enlightened father.
Today, every woman is contemplating starting her own business and wishes to engage in work that not only allows her to progress but also helps in spending time with her family. In a job, she often finds it challenging to devote sufficient attention to her family, leading her to consider leaving the job.
It is true that some women decide to quit their jobs, but as they move forward, they often feel that they wish they had made that decision with more thought and consideration for other opportunities. This sentiment is not just being expressed; it is a common realisation. Women often think about it after some time. Jyoti Sahu is one such woman who was initially a school teacher and is now working as a successful entrepreneur.
Jyoti Sahu, from the village of Sakara in Durg, Chhattisgarh, is currently busy making various patterns of leather and cotton bags. As a former school teacher, Jyoti is now earning much more than she did before. She always wanted to do something of her own, but the question of how and what often lingered in her mind.
Jyoti shares, “When I was a school teacher, I always thought about doing something on my own. However, there was always a question in my mind about how and what. That’s when I learned about Self Help Groups (SHGs). I joined the Gyan Ganga SHG in my village and learned everything about starting my own business. I decided to connect with the Gyan Ganga SHG and start my own business.”
She took a loan from CCL and started her work by ordering raw material for her business from Raipur. However, just as she began, the COVID-19 pandemic hit in 2020, and like many others, her work came to a halt. But she had already decided that she would not give up so easily. So, she started her work again, making various items like travel bags, school bags, handbags, and mobile pouches. She made every effort to ensure that her work progressed in some way. Today, she is producing bags of various patterns made from leather and cotton.
Jyoti Sahu, residing in Durg, Chhattisgarh, is a woman from a small family who has transformed from being a school teacher to a successful entrepreneur. Her brothers, Sanjay and Sandeep Sahu, are also supporting her in this venture. Her family is making every effort to assist Jyoti. They are trying to sell the items made by the group in government schools and other institutions. Jyoti’s earnings are growing rapidly.
Not only is she involved in making bags, but Jyoti has also become a ‘Bank Sakhi’ (Bank Friend). She says, “I have also learned banking work. Today, I work for the group members at the bank operated by Kumhari Nagar Palika. Along with the successful bag-making work, the training I received to become a Bank Sakhi has brought in good income for me. Now, I am living a life of respect in my village. Today, I am a businesswoman, and I am proud of it.”
Jyoti Sahu from the Gyan Ganga SHG has made a name for her village with the support of her group. The government is fully supporting her initiatives, providing her with loans through RF (Revolving Fund) and the district. Jyoti, along with her Self Help Group, has proven that if one starts their own business instead of working for someone else, they can earn better and live a life of respect.
Ravivar Vichar has made a commitment to bring forth the stories of every such woman and make us aware of their lives.
In this WomensWebXMahilaMoney impact series, we bring you entrepreneurs like Jyoti Sahu who had not just the ambition to grow, but took the steps needed to bring their dreams to fruition. Apply for a loan of up to 25 lakhs to fuel your business growth by downloading the Mahila Money App on Google Playstore or visiting the website here.
Picture settling into a comfortable space that surrounds you with a gentle warmth after a long day. As you start sweating, all your day’s stress starts melting away. This scenario is not a tale from a distant star or the story of some advanced recovery technology. Countless individuals worldwide partake in infrared sauna therapy, delving into the captivating realm of anti-aging, wherein it becomes their reality, transcending mere relaxation.
Undoubtedly, you know the advantages of protecting your health and having a well-balanced diet. However, are you aware that you can attain an enviable radiance and youthful complexion without depending only on creams and nutrition? Today, we delve into near infrared sauna therapy, an underappreciated and frequently misconstrued source of eternal youthfulness.
A traditional sauna employs heat to raise the air’s temperature, warming your body and stimulating perspiration. In contrast, infrared saunas utilise a distinct light wavelength to penetrate your tissues deeply, directly heating your body and generating superior, detoxifying sweat, all while bestowing a multitude of additional health advantages.
Infrared saunas can greatly enhance the skin through the stimulation of collagen production, an immensely desired protein responsible for maintaining firmness, flexibility, and the absence of wrinkles in our skin. By penetrating your skin with infrared rays, your body’s internal temperature is delicately elevated, prompting increased collagen production, effectively filling in fine lines and wrinkles, and ultimately bestowing upon your skin the coveted youthful and resplendent radiance we all yearn for.
Toxins such as mercury, lead, and other environmental chemicals have the ability to induce profound aging consequences on your skin and overall well-being. Infrared saunas elicit profound, purifying sweat that liberates your body from these harmful toxins, thereby actively contributing to the process of rejuvenation.
Consistently detoxifying your body through the invigorating circulation, cellular health aid, and skin rejuvenation provided by the radiant heat of infrared saunas enables you to turn back the hands of time on aging effectively.
Quality sleep is crucial. It greatly affects your physical appearance and internal health. Infrared sauna therapy helps calm the nervous system, hence facilitating a peaceful night’s sleep, which is a fundamental element in the fight against aging.
On another note, experts widely acknowledge that stress is a critical aging promoter. Infrared saunas promote relaxation and stress reduction, which consequently reduce inflammation and the burden on your cellular health, thus playing a crucial role in anti-aging.
When using a sauna for the purpose of skincare, you must bear in mind the significance of post-treatment measures. The elevated temperature emanating from the sauna effectively facilitates the dilation of pores, thereby promoting detoxification; however, failure to immediately cleanse the skin of sweat may result in the reoccurrence of pore blockage. Hence, a cool-to-cold shower after a sauna session is imperative to eliminate toxins and restore the pores’ closure. Apply a moisturiser to your skin and ensure ample water consumption for rehydration after perspiration.
You can access innovative and natural approaches like infrared sauna therapy to help you maintain youthful vitality and even reverse the effects of time while gaining wisdom, experience, and gratifying milestones along the way.
Infrared sauna therapy enables you to revitalise, purify, unwind, and restore your body in a tranquil setting. Ongoing research consistently highlights the remarkable advantages of infrared sauna sessions, all crucial elements contributing to the battle against aging.
Why not seize the opportunity to reserve your first session today and personally encounter the comforting warmth, tranquil relaxation, and invigorating advantages bestowed by an infrared sauna?
The International Women’s Day (IWD) blitzkrieg has started.
Usually, the onset of March brings with it advertisements for items that range from jewellery, apparel, cosmetics and other items that are associated with women. On 8th March, this messaging, which is rooted in consumer capitalism, is followed by messages that reinforce the superwoman myth as well as force feed the stereotype of a woman who is gentle, sacrificing, beautiful, and more. Corporates and organizations will join the bandwagon and organize events that will range from tokenism to woke-ism. The pink decorations and freebies like salon and spa vouchers will again reflect the gendered social and consumer profiles women are associated with; and there will formulaic speeches about women empowerment.
With each passing year, this buzz and hype around IWD becomes bigger and bigger; then why do we see glaring gaps in gender equality?
Even though gender parity is one of the Social Development Goals, gender equality could take up to 286 years!
As per Woman Empowerment Indices, women are utilising only about 60 percent of their potential.
There is also a money gap-a staggering USD 360 billion annual deficit in spending on gender-equality measures; which has prompted the 2024 IWD theme by the United Nations- “Invest in women: Accelerate progress”.
Women remain under represented in parliamentary, judiciary and corporate positions, as well as labour and work force. Everywhere the share of women in decision making, even (or especially?) in matters that affect them primarily like reproductive rights, autonomy over their own bodies, health and education. Freedom from the fear of violence -mental, physical and emotional; both at home and outside, still feels like a pipe dream.
The answer, as equivocal as the need for gender parity, is Yes.
Celebration of the day creates awareness; and is a reminder of our reality, however dismal it may be. But it is important that these celebrations include steps that steer away from the gender stereotypes. Perhaps true support, instead of the shine and gloss at the workplace, is what will finally shift the needle?
Offer and implement accessible and acceptable childcare options. Provide support to women returning to work after a career break. Document actionable policies (that are framed by panels with women on them, not by the ubiquitous manels) that address mid-life concerns of women (especially care giving and menopause) and promote retention and progression of female talent.
Initiate pay audits and transparent pay policies to identify and close pay gaps. Share data on proportion of women in managerial roles, and women attrition in your organization. Allocate and utilize Mentorship Budgets for women employees across all levels.
Introspect: Is there a pink tax on any products sold/manufactured by your company? Are the advertisements or marketing in your firm reinforcing gender stereotypes, or worse, are they sexist in any way?
For next year, document how much the spoken words on IWD translated into actions, and the impact they had. Repeat.
“Happy Anniversary Love” the fondant twinkled back from the deep chocolate surface of the cake. Of course, ‘dark chocolate’, his favourite flavour. Twenty years of public profession of love amidst dazzling annual parties, yet I await at least one cake of my favorite flavor.
Rohit announced the culmination of two decades with a masquerade party. The dance floor shimmered from both the glow of lights and the glitterati. I was center stage yet the music seemed boisterous, the chit-chatter seemed like rumbling. Everything felt like gradually receding as does the last speck of dusk before the starry spectacle takes over.
My insides growled, but it wasn’t hunger. My body ached but I wasn’t sick. The multitude of emotions then welled up high in the mascara-laden eyes. Tugging my hand away from him I rushed away from the crowd. Tears wouldn’t stop. It felt like I was being sucked into a vacuum. I was done smiling and posing when an emptiness spread its tentacles deep within.
Soon I heard Rohit’s baritone as he shook my shoulders, “What is wrong with you Manya?” He grumbled, “I am looking for you all over. The guests need to be attended to.”
Here he was. The façade lifted as the show lights distanced from him. Peering through the veil of tears, I struggled to reconcile with what was happening. His demeanor was different. Had I noticed it earlier? I was doubting myself.
“Isn’t it OUR twenty years Rohit? Am I not the one in focus here?” I heaved.
“Yes…yes it is” he stuttered. Steadying himself he helped me up. The look in his eyes a couple of minutes back was something that I couldn’t get over.
“Everyone is awaiting the cake cutting. Don’t take too long. Whatever it is we will discuss at home.” He dropped my arms callously and walked away.
This moment felt like a realization. The tears had washed away the layers of grime on this relationship.
As the deep maroon lip tint glided across my lips, a sudden rage spread. I felt my eyes turn bloodshot and sweat beads trickle down the temples.
I wanted to end it all……..as anger raged, a tiny voice within asked me to wait.
“Take the next steps on your terms and not your anger.” I swirled around alarmed.
There was no one else there. My thoughts spoke out aloud.
I skimmed through what was left of the party, noticing the finer nuances of Rohit’s behavior and realizing that his actions were greatly influenced by societal needs. The vivid realization that he never encouraged my socializing was upsetting. And soon the missing pieces of the puzzle began falling in place.
Silence hung heavy during the drive back home. Except for the occasional remark on the food, choice of dress of a guest, or the gifts, there was nothing. Rohit made no mention of what he witnessed……the meltdown, the why, or what of it.
This night was big, with realization and discovery. Realization of the façade that had shielded the true reflection of the person I thought I knew for the twenty years of being married. Discovery that the only role I played was the caretaker…… emotionally manipulated to give up my identity, my likes and wishes.
“What a wonderful gathering!! You can’t miss some of the gifts Manya!”
That was the casual end to his day. I remembered the day I told him about my pregnancy test. “We will lose our freedom, especially if you birth a child.” How could I give in? Recollecting hard about the fun that he had implied was the fun he wanted to have.
Looking up to the starry sky, I resolved to make amends.
No way was I going to expect anything from him. At the same time walking out wasn’t happening especially after I had given up precious productive years of my life. So the first decision was to get back to painting, the love of my life, and the second was my desire to be a mother. It was going to happen and nothing could stop me. Rohit’s definition of love that was stifling my aspirations and happiness had to be unstifled.
I walked back to the guest bedroom while I texted the gallery that was displaying my unsold paintings.
Actions will always speak louder than words…….! I was out to prove it now.
I hope this letter finds you well. As I gather my thoughts to pen down these words, a surge of emotions envelops me, prompting reflection on a friendship that once bore considerable meaning for both of us. A friendship where we shared even the most insignificant and mundane details of daily life with each other. A relationship where we navigated the highs and lows of life side by side for more than a decade. A companionship that was a treasure trove of laughter, shared secrets and source of sanity, wisdom and countless memories.
So, I always cherished and will continue to cherish the bond we built. However, it’s evident that things have changed, and we have taken different paths because it’s been quite some time since our last conversation.
False expectation of permanence
It’s naïve of humans to believe that some things can last forever. And, I subconsciously thought that too. I perceived our friendship to be not only stable but also dependable. I guess the expectation made it particularly painful when our relationship started to shift. As I retrospect, it got me thinking, how do we get through life thinking it will all last forever. Everything changes. Seasons, months, years, our faces, our bodies, our minds…then why not friendships?
Pain of growing distant from a close friend is more profound than a breakup with a romantic partner
“A true friend is the one you can go months without talking to and when you reconnect, you feel nothing has changed”. But is this really true? Does actually nothing change? We hardly spoke in the last two years. Obviously, often people have got too much going on which consumes them leaving little room for socializing. But, I never considered talking to you as socializing, I did so because I liked it. I figured out ways to fit our time in the routine whenever you needed me. Hence, it felt weird to have almost an year pass by without any communication. I did not want to be so out of touch with a friend like you who mattered to me. Though, I do understand that as responsibilities grow and as the time passes, a regular commitment isn’t possible from either end but dropping a ‘thinking of you’ or a greeting occasionally isn’t too much, right? It felt bad when my calls went unnoticed. And for the times you did manage to acknowledge, it was either, “will call you in the evening” or “will call you tomorrow”. But, seemingly the stars never aligned to make those calls happen. I am well aware of your efficiency and how excellent you are at multi-tasking. So, I detested the realisation that perhaps I no longer figure in your priority list. But what led to this shift and why did you grow apart; remains a mystery to me.
Your shift in attitude helped me internalize
Life is busy and I understand that you have a lot to cater to. Everybody has their own way of prioritizing and sorting things. So, empathy is surely important here. And keeping this virtue in mind, I internalised about a lot of important things . May be it was toxic of me to keep track of who and when is putting more efforts into this friendship. It’s easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with us in the way we need. And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on our own worth. But then I came to terms with the fact that the way you are behaving may not be about me. May be we both weren’t at fault. Friendships need to be mutual and balanced, and the more we allow them to become out of balance and overpower us mentally, the less they are about friendship and the more about issues. The introspection helped me become balanced. So, thanks to you and the strong foundation of our relationship that helped me with this realisation.
I want you to know that there is no resentment or bitterness in my heart. Though it’s still not totally okay in my heart that we’ve distanced from each other, both literally and metaphorically, but I respect the choices you’ve made. I understand that friendships evolve, and sometimes they might come to an end too. Despite the changes, I want to express my gratitude for the positive influence you have had on my life and the lessons I learned from our friendship.
Absence of closure left me feeling confused and unfulfilled
It’s a paradox that as we age, the need for close female friendships intensifies, yet maintaining them becomes more challenging. Additionally, there’s no established way of concluding friendships. We lack rituals, protocol, paperwork resulting in a unique level of discomfort and confusion due to absence of non-closure. Anyway jokes apart, I am writing this letter to take this opportunity to convey to you that I recognize my genuine affection for you, and therefore I hope we can reconnect some day in our own special way, but may be that will happen when it has to. For now I only wish that you reach out to me after this letter by giving me a call or sending a message. If there are any misunderstandings or hurt feelings on your part throughout our journey, I am willing to talk about them. I believe that sincere conversations can give closure to both of us.
The time we spent in each other’s life was indeed amazing. I am grateful for the person you were during that chapter of my life and I genuinely pray that life brings you all the joy and fulfillment you deserve.
Look after yourself. Keep evolving, keep adapting, keep letting go. The world has great things in store for you.
I wish you all the best in your journey.
Warm regards,
A hopeful friend
I come across a contest in a popular Bengali women’s magazine. Although it is about inspiring women on Women’s Day, the rules have left me crestfallen. In 2024, it presents such a contest!
Only working women, I mean office-going or businesswomen, can participate. Those who live within the four walls and are housewives aren’t entitled to this contest. Even if she is a writer or does nothing, she is not eligible to participate.
I am dumbfounded. First, every woman is working- whether they are homemakers or not. Secondly, the media house is aiming for Women’s Day! Is this how it will inspire and empower other women?
Who said to this magazine, that only ‘working’ women are encouraging? Boss, presentations, deadlines, meetings, and tours- are all these solely important? Why can’t an ordinary woman be uplifting? Doesn’t she face enough impediments on her way? She cannot change her employer. She cannot take a leave. Every moment is a deadline. Her master’s mercurial mood determines her day. Even then she must perform- dedicatedly and sincerely. Hardly anyone pats her and suggests that she be living for herself. Can anyone genuinely offer her help so that she can make a new beginning? No! That’s a grave sin; graver than murder.
Whether she is educated or not, smart and affable or not- how can these traits matter? They, too, have sombre tales in their hearts. For some, getting up from the bed is an achievement. However, it is because of such crassness that these stories never find a vent. Like them, their latent desires die a silent death.
Such contests could have provided women the perfect opportunity to break free of the vicious circles. They can nurture their talents, and can also get appreciated. In this way, they can build and grow themselves. However, the weird terms and conditions deliberately attached to the contests only aggravate the situation.
This again proves that Women’s Day is a mockery of all women. No feminism or empowerment can open the eyes. The diverting messages, actions, and behaviour by those in power and position are degrading. It is perhaps this reason that the crimes against women have become never-ending. The need of the hour, is, therefore, to enlighten everybody about becoming compassionate human beings. Intelligence, feminism, and empowerment can wait.
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