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While India is known as an agrarian country, the struggles and hardships faced by many farming families often go unnoticed. Sunita’s family, residing in the small village of Patoora in the Satna district of Madhya Pradesh, was one such example.
Despite putting in relentless effort in farming, Sunita’s family faced continuous setbacks. The path ahead seemed unclear, but Sunita was determined not to succumb to defeat. In her quest for solutions, she discovered the concept of Self Help Groups (SHGs), a new experience for her. She joined an SHG named Lalitamba SHG, which was working in her village.
Reflecting on her journey, Sunita shares, “Before joining this group, my financial situation was deplorable. Despite dedicated efforts in farming with my family, we were not achieving any success. Joining this group opened my eyes to new insights and techniques related to my work and agriculture.”
Sunita also learned about the National Rural Livelihood Mission, commonly known as the Aajeevika Mission, which aimed to empower women farmers like her. Taking advantage of the initiative, she secured a loan to purchase land and decided to focus all her efforts on it. Sunita chose to cultivate crops such as onions, cauliflower, and leafy vegetables that could be grown throughout the year.
Her first harvest exceeded expectations, and the quality of her produce attracted attention from local traders. Sunita remarks, “I am delighted that the quality of my produce has improved, and traders prefer buying vegetables in bulk from my farm due to the good quality.”
Taking a loan from the Aajeevika Mission and connecting with the SHG not only transformed Sunita’s agricultural practices but also boosted her confidence. Today, she imparts training to other women, inspiring them to change their lives.
Sunita expresses her happiness, stating, “I am earning between 23,000 to 25,000 rupees per month. Earlier, the cost of cultivation was high, and the results were not satisfactory. However, after joining the Aajeevika Mission and receiving training, my earnings from the harvest have significantly improved.”
Sunita’s annual income now ranges between 6 to 7 lakhs, with cultivation costs amounting to only 3 lakhs. She has become a role model for other women in her village and neighbouring communities. The government’s efforts to integrate women like Sunita into agriculture through the Aajeevika Mission have been instrumental in bringing about positive changes.
Sunita’s success story showcases how determination, hard work, and support from initiatives like the Aajeevika Mission can lead to transformative outcomes. Through her contributions, she not only changed her own life but also inspires and uplifts other women in her community.
Stories of women like Sunita, demonstrate that with hard work and determination, victories are achievable, and success touches your footsteps. Today, Sunita’s economic circumstances in the village of Patoora have improved. She is making every possible effort to connect more women like her to this mission, providing inspiration and motivation.
Ravivar Vichar has made a commitment to bring forth the stories of every such woman and make us aware of their lives.
In this WomensWebXMahilaMoney impact series, we bring you entrepreneurs like Sunita Kushwaha who had not just the ambition to grow, but took the steps needed to bring their dreams to fruition. Apply for a loan of up to 25 lakhs to fuel your business growth by downloading the Mahila Money App on Google Playstore or visiting the website here.
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Loving others isn’t always the essence of love; rather, it’s a journey that begins from within oneself. As February, the month of love, unfolds, here I am sharing the exquisite love letters I’ve penned to myself.
Dear Me,
Let me first tell you that you are beautiful in and out and doing great! I know the journey you’re embarking on is filled with excitement, uncertainty, and moments of self-doubt. However, there is one thing I want to teach you at the age of 20: the value of accepting self-love.
I am aware that at 20, you may feel worthless or disoriented. Maybe you questioned yourself as you got up, “Am I enough?” or “Am I worthy of my love?” You may find yourself constantly seeking validation from others, measuring your worth based on external factors. You may feel pressure to live up to society’s standards of beauty, success, and happiness. Perhaps you’re still discovering what love—specifically self-love—means to you.
But let me tell you something – true happiness comes from within. It comes from learning to love and accept yourself unconditionally. It means respecting your needs, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your well-being above anything else. It means celebrating the things you do right and forgiving yourself for the times you fall short.
Self-love is not always easy, especially in a world that constantly tells us we’re not enough. It is often said that you can’t truly love others until you love yourself. Similarly, remember that others can’t truly love you until you love yourself. I want you to know that you are worthy of love and respect for who you are. You don’t need to change to fit into someone else’s idea of perfection. Your uniqueness is your greatest strength, and it is what sets you apart from the rest.
Take the time to nurture yourself – mind, body, and soul. Practice self-care rituals that bring you joy and rejuvenate your spirit. Above all, remember to be kind to yourself.
As you journey through life, remember that self-love is not a destination but a beautiful journey. And I promise you, the more you cultivate love for yourself, the more love you will have to give to others.
So, my dear self, I urge you to embrace self-love with open arms.
With love,
Me
Dear 30-year-old Me,
This is me, writing this love letter to thank you for being you, to encourage you, and to compliment you on who you are. Thank you for the letter you wrote to embrace self-love. It worked!!
I want to thank you for your courage and resilience. I understand that life hasn’t been easy for you at thirty, but you’ve shown incredible strength in facing your insecurities. Instead of letting your inner critic hold you back, you’ve faced it head-on and learned to be kinder and gentler with yourself.
I appreciate your commitment to self-care. You’ve prioritized your well-being and made choices that nourish your body, mind, and spirit. Whether it’s taking time for meditation, indulging in your favorite hobbies, or simply resting when you need it, you’ve recognized the importance of nurturing yourself, and it’s made all the difference.
You’ve embraced your flaws and imperfections, recognizing that they are what make you beautiful. You’ve learned to be your own best friend, offering words of encouragement and support in moments of doubt. You’ve forgiven yourself for mistakes and embraced a mindset of self-compassion.
As I stand here at 40, I can’t help but feel a sense of awe at the incredible journey you’ve embarked upon. Your courage, resilience, and unwavering commitment to self-love have laid the foundation for the fulfilling and meaningful life I now lead.
So, thank you, dear 30-year-old me, for taking that first step toward embracing self-love. Your bravery has not gone unnoticed, and I am forever grateful for the person you were and the person you’ve helped me become.
With heartfelt thanks and admiration,
Your 40-Year-Old Self
“Parenting” is a widely used term these days. People are prioritizing, implementing and sharing the tips and techniques for becoming better parents.
At a certain period, those kids become adults, and are responsible for taking care of their aging parents. This caregiving is similar to parenting in all major aspects, but gets differentiated in terms of specific gender roles.
This post is not intended to discriminate against the efforts made by the sons and their wives who play a crucial role in being primary caregivers.
But, this post is to shed a spotlight on how married daughters are also getting the liberty to equally share the responsibilities of their aging parents.
Recently, I came across an impactful short film, “Mu Dikhai” produced by MumToBe and V Seven Pictures.
In general, parents equally share and manage the responsibilities while taking care of their children.
But when it comes to their caregiving, they prefer to stay with their son’s family rather than being with their married daughter’s family.
Although in certain situations, this might not be their choice, they still bound to follow society’s traditions.
Contrary to societal expectations, there has been an increase in the number of daughters in recent years who are taking care of their parents post their marriage.
While daughters are changing the norms which are set by default, their husbands and in-laws’ families play a pivotal role by providing major support in this regard. This understanding and supportive environment helps the daughters to handle the dual family responsibilities efficiently.
In brief, society should also seamlessly welcome this changing trend and accept the perspective that caregiving of parents is not only subjected to their sons, but daughters can also equally contribute to change their family dynamics.
Image source: YouTube/ Short film Mu Dikhai
Fighter does what the ubiquitous Armed Forces advertisement intends to do, with its famous tagline, “Touch the Sky with Glory. It inspires young boys and girls to consider taking up a career in the Indian Air Force and instils a deep sense of respect in every Indian for the Indian Air Force pilots and commanders who serve in the Air Force with top-notch skills and nerves of steel.
This magnificent movie reveals the life-threatening challenges that Indian Airforce officers need to overcome to protect the Indian airspace. The IndianAir Force plays a crucial role in the defines of India and boasts of some of the world\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\’s best fighter planes today. For me, this movie was special as my grandfather was a Colonel in the Indian Army and ADC to the late Pandit Nehru, India’s first Prime Minister and my father was a Wg Cdr in the IndianAirforce. They both served their country for more than 25 years and as a child, I have been regaled with numerous stories of the Indo China war and Indo Pak war, stories of grit, valour and determination. I often wondered, why Hindi movies rarely depicted the challenging but charming life of armed forces personnel except for a handful like Border, Pukaar, Uri. Well, that is the gap, the recent magnum opus by Siddarth Annand aims to bridge with the country’s first aerial action thriller.
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The movie is not just a cinematic masterpiece but a salute to the valiant fighter pilots and Indian Air Force Officers who are protecting the country and the true hero of this magnum opus, not the lead but Sukhoi SU 30 and the anti-hero is F 16. As per the 2022 report, the IAF was ranked third strongest globally based on aspects like attack power, modernisation and defence capacity. Bharatiya Vayu Sena\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\’ or the IAF does not only protect us from threats but also safeguards the territory and national interests and offers air support to the Indian Army on the war field as well as strategic and tactical airlift and evacuation capabilities. The film was released strategically on Republic Day and depicts a visually compelling picture of the world of fighter pilots and their mean machines.
The plot is fairly simple, it is the meticulous execution that stands out. A highly skilled team of Indian Air Force aviators, Shamsher Pathania. Patty (Hrithik Roshan), Minni Rathore / Minni (Deepika Padukone), Sartaj Gill (Karan Singh Grover), and Rakesh Jai Singh. / Rocky (Anil Kapoor), their Commanding Officer come together after terrorists bomb a CRPF convoy killing zones of jawans — a recreation of the 2019 suicide attack in Pulwama. As a response, India destroys a Jaish-e-Mohammed training camp, on Pakistani soil, with Patty and Sartaj backing up the primary jets. They succeed but get trapped across the Line of Control (LOC) with far reaching and heart-breaking consequences. After, many twists and turns, the special team infiltrates the enemy territory to rescue one of their teammates and after exhilarating action and mind-blowing aerial combat scenes overcomes the antagonist. DNEG, the international VFX house behind Dune and multiple Bond movies, has managed the special effects and the team must take a bow as the movie has set a new benchmark in technical excellence.
Coming back to the actors, the hero, Hrithik Roshan as Squadron Leader Shamsher Pathania is par excellence. The effort he puts into his characters is admirable and the process is very meticulous, truly an award-winning performance of his career.
The camera loves him, after all what not to love from that jawline to those dreamy hazel eyes and that heart-warmingly innocent “please “that would melt any woman’s l heart.
The verdict is, Hrithik Roshan at 50 is even better Hrithik at 25, the man gets better with age, India’s answer to Tom Cruise, Pierce Brosnan and the likes. As a side note, just watching him in uniform and watching him groove is worth the ticket cost. Hrithikis flawless, in the action sequences and the emotional scenes, of course, his chiselled jawline and dashboard abs are a bonus. Watching him in uniform makes going to the cinemas worth every penny. Deepika Padukone adds depth and emotion to the film, she is well suited for her role as a strong female character. Their on-screen chemistry is palpable and hope more filmmakers should cast them together infact, all the other actors have done a fine job, the quiet maturity and restraint of Anil Kapoor, the goofy Karan Grover, the silent Akshay Oberoi, the grieving Sanjeeda Sheikh, all have done justice to their roles. Ashutosh Rana in a cameo of a rigid father makes an indelible impact in just one scene that adds so many emotions to the narrative.
. All the characters are well written and while watching them, one feels, like we know them or know people like them. The character development is steady and consistent for most. Every character is nuanced and has depth, and the audience will empathise with their struggles and triumphs. The protagonist\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\’s story is particularly compelling, as the audience witnesses not only physical combat but also the internal conflicts, and dark moments that shape his individuality. Rishabh Sawhney as the antagonist did a fine job however his character was starkly underdeveloped, which left one wondering, did the writer forget to give him a solid backstory.
The movie raises the bar for visual aesthetics, nuanced storytelling and layered characterization. Fighter has all the elements to keep the audience enthralled and is an engaging watch. The nail-biting action and depth of emotions, make it, unlike the mindless, ear-deafening, action thrillers that are doing the rounds. This offers a technically brilliant experience, camera angles by Satchith Paulose are phenomenal and the fighter jet scenes are la Hollywood, Indian response to the Top Gun Franchise. Music by Vishal Shekhar is peppy and slick choreography is another high point. Hrithik’s flawless moves have, of course, spawned a million reels off the hook steps, Though, the songs do sound familiar, like, we have heard them before. May be, time to explore new tunes.
Breathtakingly stunning locations, adrenalin-pumping action, world-class VFX, excellent editing & powerful performances make up for a predictable plot. Overall, a slick action-packed aerial combat thriller with a good storyline, which will tug at your heartstrings. However, it is not just about chills and thrills, but the movie is a milestone for Indian cinema as it elevates Indian cinema to the global stage in the thriller action genre.
Fighter is a tribute to the Armed Forces though may be a glossy one, but then that’s what creative freedom is all about. If you are looking for an adrenaline rush with the perfect blend of emotions, this is a must watch in the theatres, and in 3D!
Jai Hind
I love food! My very first memories are of food! I have loved food ever since I was a baby. My mother says, “You would snatch the milk from your younger sisters and guzzle it down yourself.” We don’t need stronger evidence. Thankfully my sisters don’t hold it against me.
Though I was on a liquid diet for a good many years, barely balancing it with some boiled rice, once my taste buds started tingling, I was demanding dishes my gastronomically adventurous Mother could barely keep up with.
Food, gut health connected to brain
Food, gut health, brain development and motor development all go hand in hand. A well fed baby is happy, content and sleepy. When awake, coos and gurgles, crawls and poses, flashing toothless smiles… a Darling! Not like those scrawny, whimpering souls traipsing along the edges of cots, tables and divans, with their Mothers screeching their lungs out, “No, no, noooo!”
Unhealthy food to be avoided
Its been proven now that fast food, fried food and food rich in spices, saturated fats, sugar or extremely refined are harmful to our well being. At the same time, natural foods cooked in traditional ways when available in a given season are nourishing and may even be therapeutic.
Food is celebration
The high point of any celebration is food. I find food tastier when I eat with my friends and family, even so called junk food. My memories of festivals and birthdays are synonymous with Payesh, Rosogolla, mutton curry, Mustard fish along with loochi.(All Bengali cuisine). For my children its Shepherds pie, my special chicken preparation, salads, pasta, biryani and the like. The aroma of their favourite dishes makes them feel at home, they say.
Food and yoga
During my days of learning yoga, I also had a chance to experience the yogic life for a fortnight at the The Yoga Institute, Santa Cruz, Mumbai. Food was given due attention and respect for ahaar has direct impact on achaar. The satvic bhojan we consumed was delicious, filling and so nourishing.
So, now I have settled for tasty salads, bhakri, dal, curd,and all kinds of vegetables.
I notice some food make me feel happy… dal chawal, khichdi with dollop of ghee and sprout salad.
Yet paani poori, bhel, chaat, cutlets, vada pao make me drool. I do indulge once in a while, after all there’s only this one life I have! What do you think?
A 31-year-old Meera wanted to return to work when her son was about two years old, and it was not a very easy journey.
Her in-laws wanted to take control of the family using this opportunity because they did not like the idea of Meera and her husband staying alone after their marriage. So, in the name of being supportive of raising the child, they disregarded every aspect of her motherhood instincts and tried to berate her for taking charge of her baby.
While she informed her parents about the mental strain they were causing, they disregarded her claims and preferred Meera to comply with her in-laws.
Her husband did not like the idea of a stranger taking care of their child, so a babysitter was out of the question.
This made Meera quit her new job within 4 months of joining, which also made her in-laws furious that they had to unleash the control rope, and her parents were less supportive, thinking she had a non-adjusting nature.
Returning to the workforce after an extended maternity break is a tiresome and competitive journey for most women nowadays. Most of the time, their own family is the first to reject the idea of getting back to work. Sometimes it is the overly controlling husband; sometimes it is the orthodox in-laws wanting the best for their grandchild while disregarding the opinions of their daughter-in-law because they don’t even consider her as a person; and sometimes it is the parents of the mother themselves, who don’t like complications arising due to change that might lead to disturbances in their daughter’s marital life or want their grandchild to grow with complete attention and care.
Nowadays, many companies offer a return-to-work program for women with an extended maternity break. Also, there are a lot of companies offering flexible working hours, part-time jobs, daycare facilities, work-from-home options, and many more facilities for women with children. Yet returning to work is not a cakewalk for many women, considering the lack of support from family members.
Asha was on cloud nine when she cleared the first interview, ten months after having her daughter. Her husband was very relieved that he would not undergo the financial burden alone since he had to repay his own marriage loan along with his sister’s marriage loan. Moreover, he was also supporting his parents by sending them money every month, though they had income from renting their other home. Both of them had a clear plan worked out to manage their work and children, found a promising daycare, and started their lives as working parents.
But fate had different plans just when everything was falling into place. Their child started falling ill often, and when Asha asked her parents whether they could take care of her child by staying with her for a few months, they did not like the idea because they just hated city life. Moreover, she did not want to disturb the lives of her peacefully retired parents, but those were the ones who demanded that Asha get pregnant soon after marriage because they wanted grandkids. Also, those were the people who said they would do all the help needed but just wanted grandkids since they wanted to see their progeny before passing away. Asha now stays with her daughter, and her marital life is already strained because of financial problems.
Getting back to work is not an easy journey. Women need support from society and family to get into the workforce without mom guilt. All they need is support, and most of the time it turns out to be just words from their close ones, which will do wonders in them returning confidently to the workforce.
Image source: pexels
It has been politically incorrect to use the term ‘housewife’ for some years. Instead, we are urged to use the word ‘homemaker’. There is definitely something in the name change. Homemaker is a more respectful and dignified term. Also, it removes the gender element which the earlier ‘housewife’ regrettably had.
So, what’s stopping us from calling men homemakers?
The Supreme Court of India came out with a ‘Handbook on Combating Gender Stereotypes’ in August 2023 in which it has mandated that the word ‘housewife’ be replaced by ‘homemaker’ while writing judgements or filing cases before courts.
While this is a big, progressive step from the apex court, and ‘homemaker’ sounds so much better, does the change in nomenclature change the ground reality?
Women are still doing significantly more housework and caregiving than men. This applies to both urban and rural women in India. The first national-level Time Use Survey in 2019, which covered 1.38 lakh households, reveals a regressive pattern.
In the 15-59 age group, 92.3 per cent of women did unpaid domestic service for household members while the figure for men was 28.9 per cent. As for unpaid caregiving services for household numbers, in the same age group, the figures were 32.8 per cent for women and 16.2 per cent for men.
Overall, women spent 7.21 hours a day in unpaid domestic service and caregiving roles while men spent 2.8 hours on these activities. Not surprisingly, only 19.2 rural women and 16.7 urban women participated in employment and related activities.
This disparity impacts women in two ways. They are not compensated monetarily for the work they put in while cooking, cleaning, shopping, managing the home in other ways, and taking care of children and elders. Two, women who work outside the home are not spared domestic chores which is often a stressful burden compromising their mental and physical health.
Remember the iconic Nirma washing powder advertisement where the virtues of the product are extolled by Hema, Rekha, Jaya and Sushma? Conveying the blatant message that it’s a woman’s role to do the laundry in a household.
There are many similar advertisements which are subtly sexist even today. That’s why it came as a welcome change in perceptions when a commercial created a ruckus in the popular 2023 film ‘Rocky Aur Rani Kii Prem Kahaani’. The commercial which showed only women making laddus triggered a boycott of the product. It took Rani’s suggestion that men be shown fashioning the laddus with their hands, and looking proud about it, to win back customers.
American writer and advocate for social reform, who lived in the 19th Century, Charlotte Anna Perkins Gilman, has spoken of the drudgery of being a housewife in her poem titled ‘The Housewife’.
“Food and the serving of food — that is my daylong care;
What and when we shall eat, what and how we shall wear;
Soiling and cleaning of things — that is my task in the main —
Soil them and clean them and soil them — soil them and clean them again.”
Whether a woman is a housewife or homemaker, she is doing unpaid, sometimes stressful work that should be shared with her partner in a just and fair society.
Ending on a somewhat humorous note, American lawyer and social activist Bella Abzug said: “I prefer the word ‘homemaker’ because ‘housewife’ always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.” Tongue in cheek, indeed!
Image Source: A still from The Great Indian Kitchen
Have you seen “Kaathal – The Core” yet? It’s a true gem, starring the legendary Mammootty and the talented Jyothika.
This film narrates the story of Omana, a straight woman seeking to dissolve her unhappy marriage with her husband, Mathew, a homosexual man who hasn’t come out yet. I’m all praise for the director, Joe Baby, for making this film and in awe of Mammootty, for breathing life into Mathew. That being said, I can’t help but feel that Jyothika’s Omana hasn’t received the recognition it deserves.
Unlike the stereotypical depiction of strong women who are often portrayed wielding guns or holding positions of power, Omana stands out as an embodiment of subtle strength. She is not the fierce woman clad in denim and leather but rather a woman of subtle power, draped in a saree. Much like her character, which has few but profound dialogues, Omana speaks volumes not through words but through her actions.
From the opening scene, it is evident that Omana is a devoted and religious woman who fulfils the traditional roles of a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and daughter-in-law. Like many of us, she has grappled with the constraints imposed on her by patriarchal societal expectations for nearly two decades.
It might have taken her years to muster the courage to stand up for what she rightfully deserves, but once she decides to prioritise herself, she stops at nothing. Despite her compassionate and forgiving nature, she no longer tolerates being taken for granted.
Omana decides to dissolve her marriage with her Mathew and initiates the proceedings, but the timing coincides with Mathew’s plans to contest in the upcoming local by-election. She is well aware that as a consequence of her action, Mathew may lose the local by-election, face humiliation, and even face social ostracization, yet she refuses to be swayed from her stand. Despite facing opposition from nearly everyone, including Mathew himself, her own brother, and the church father, Omana stands her ground.
Omana firmly explains her decision by stating, “I understand the impact my decision will have on the people around me, but if I back off now, I would be unjust to myself.” This scene stands as a testament to her resilience and determination. Having finally chosen to break free from the chains of patriarchy that had bound her for so long, she has no plans of retreating.
If that moment was the crux of Omana’s strength, the scene where Omana and Mathew finally have a heart-to-heart conversation towards the end of the film highlights her compassion and ability to forgive. As Mathew apologises for all the sufferings she endured throughout their marriage, she asks him, “Don’t you think you deserve to live a life that you desire? Do you really believe that I did all this solely for my own sake?”
This scene shows that, despite being lied to and cheated on, Omana’s recognises that they both were victims of social expectations that confined them to predetermined roles and empathises with him.
In the closing scene, we see Omana, now divorced, meeting someone at a restaurant. Her radiant face and flowing hair speak volumes about her embrace of her new-found independence. Having spent her youth bound by patriarchal constraints in an unhappy marriage, Omana is now exploring the endless possibilities of love and life.
Omana’s strength in Kaathal is something that every woman-next-door can resonate with. It gives you a powerful message to take home: women don’t have to fit the “badass” stereotype to be considered strong. Every woman who stands up for herself embodies courage and resilience.
Life is a series of unfortunate events where happy moments are interludes. While some suffered more, others suffered nonetheless. For quite some time now, I have been mulling over the mystical belief of the evil eye. The ubiquitous Nazar amulet is no less than a historical artefact that has been around since the dawn of civilization. Rejecting the belief is equivalent to rejecting the cultural heritage that we have grown up in. A phone call from a professor on a cosy Sunday afternoon emboldened my theories and conclusions of the belief in question.
Entertaining the idea of Atheism for quite some time now, I have lived quite a secluded life in my mind. I have lived in silence to not attract the ire or scoff of the people around me. But the inner turmoil always gets the better of me when confronted with a situation now and then. On a Saturday morning, accompanied by my parents to take care of the baby while I attended classes, we left for college. On our way, the haat(market) fell. My parents decided to take a halt as there was still time for the class to begin. I have found the huge playground and the area around the CM house vibrant since childhood. It is a stop, mostly, for daily wage workers and grocery sellers putting a wide variety of produce on display. To my left, the playground hosting a cricket match gathered some crowd and to my right, under the shade of a tree, some score or two daily wage workers sat with their shovels in wait of prospective clients. After taking a quick look around, I was excited to bask in the morning sun anticipating the chilly classroom for the next 3-4 hours. As I put one leg out of the car, my mother huddled towards me saying, “Get inside, there are a lot of people. Do you want your daughter to get an evil eye?” Seconded by my father, she continued: “Stay inside. You don’t know what kind of eye people have.” Disappointed, I replied, “I think, the sun and the activity around will do good to her. For her, it will be a sensory blast.” But my mother was not to be convinced. This wasn’t the first time. I have been asked to be mindful of the evil eye every now and then. Also, I have often been asked to not share photos of her, or put her on display on social media platforms. I always felt that it is better to post a wholesome picture of love than to paste an emoji on the baby’s face or craftily hide the face to tease the netizens. But such an act only attests to my already drawn conclusion.
Later, in the day, the class got concluded way before time to shift us to the seminar organized on ‘Health and Wellness.’ With a heavy heart, I entered the compulsory seminar while pushing the prospect of leaving early with my daughter aside. Sitting in the first row, faced by the professors of the department, I saw the speaker get up to introduce himself. As my eyes were fixed on the wristwatch, I did not pay attention to who he was. Extolling the wonders of the 5000-year-old Indian knowledge system, he briefed that health and wellness are the important foundation upon which development and progress stand. Motivating students to pursue their dreams and firing them with passion, the session ended in thunderous applause. As the Q and A session commenced, I looked long and hard at the title of the seminar. I didn’t want to be the reason to prolong the seminar but I couldn’t hold myself back from asking, ‘Does an evil eye affect our health and wellness?’ He answered in affirmation. “Our eyes are powerful.” He also gave an example of a Japanese scientist who conducted an experiment with two glasses of water: one glass was given a good glance and the other bad. The latter glass, a few hours later, turned greyish owing to the negative glance thus changing its molecular structure. Coming back to my row, he enquired whether he satisfied my query. To which I answered: ‘More often than not, people resort to ‘nazar utarna’ rather than doing what is right. The Department of English is the most unconventional department where everything is put to critical enquiry. The students are left to think and we don’t follow any rules….” And as I was elucidating further, I was interrupted by one of the professors saying, ‘How can you say this?’ But smilingly gestured to meet her after the class as the session was in progress. The speaker keeping the time constraint in mind offered me the chance to call him up as he knew the enquiry couldn’t be put aside for its seriousness. Coming across as cocky to the rest of the students in the class, I bowed in respect and excused myself to leave early. Feeling flushed, it was, indeed, after a long time since I was in such a session. It took me back to my sophomore year.
The next day as I was making the bed, I got a call from an unknown number. Dismissing it to be one of the policy calls, I hesitantly picked up ready with my auto-generated answer. As I opened my mouth to speak, I heard a familiar voice across the line “…..Ankita… I hope I am not disturbing you on a Sunday…” I was startled. Did Ma’am just call me up?! Anticipating a scold for maybe ruffling a few feathers, or unintentionally pulling a stunt of one-upmanship with the speaker, I greeted her and meekly replied, ‘ No.’ I heard her smile in her motherly warmth and asked me to not take it otherwise for she wanted to clear that the Department of English does follow rules. In my defence, I answered by saying that in the spur of the moment, I couldn’t frame my sentence correctly to deliver the intent. But, to put the Department in a tight spot wasn’t my intention. Instead of using the word Department, I should have used the word ‘discipline’. Hearing this, she again smiled and continued that the knowledge of scriptures had been unmet in our society. The evil eye is true and she was saying this from personal experience. I felt a bit let down. For someone so knowledgeable, how could she come to such an observation? I questioned her saying that by acquiescing to the belief in the evil eye, was she not unconsciously siding with the witch-hunt in the past? The evil eye, unfortunately, is mostly associated with women. She countered it saying that the witch hunt was conducted by land mafias to grab a piece of land. It can’t be singled out for one reason. After that, we both reached a dead end. After a pause for a minute or so, she continued, “Ankita, my husband and I were both earning when I joined the University. People used to point out, ‘Oh, wow! Double-income!’. I don’t know but when I lost him to an accident my mind keeps going back to that” I felt an instant remorse for even raking up that hurtful memory in her and kicked myself for not knowing. But as soon as I heard her personal account, it felt as if the entangled threads were untying themselves. Signing off, she blessed me and my daughter. After that, I sat still with my thoughts.
I have often been called out for my arrogance in showing my disbelief in God. I have been viewed as a heretic shut in an ivory tower unaware of the ground reality. Sooner or later, I will be put to line and brought under submission, they surmise. The society is set in its ways. This is how it has functioned for thousands of years. More than God, people don’t like their beliefs to be questioned. In God, they view themselves as an authoritative figure. They don’t want a boat rocker. According to them, they were proved right, when I contracted chicken pox out of nowhere. I was asked to atone for God is merciful. Then, I was pregnant with my daughter. I was vulnerable, in a dark place, scared and did what I was asked to do. It was for the first time, I agreed to ‘nazar utarna’ by my husband. I didn’t want him or my daughter to suffer on account of my beliefs. I understand God has been a shelter for millions. They derive the strength to face life by following daily rituals. Just like my professor, my friend suffered a loss too. It was her, who knowing what I believe in asked to ward off the evil by putting a spoon of salt in the bucket before wiping the house clean with it. Clearly, the negative aura had to be cleansed. I was against the bunch whom I had antagonized barring my friend who clung to me even though we shared our differences. I was, in their words, beat up into shape and sense had finally knocked in.
Today, when I go back to these incidents, I feel that my friend and the professor connected by loss have submitted to the will of God. Their submission is a sign of the unimaginable pain they were unfairly forced to deal it by the evil eye. A therapeutic solace that they have set out to seek in God and rituals are in no way held in contempt in my eyes. On the contrary, am I setting myself up for another misfortune to not antagonize people further? More than the belief or faith in the evil eye, it will be fear that would drive me into doing such rituals. In toeing the line, I will do what a mother does best: protect. My mother not allowing me to step out of the car with my daughter attests to the rich and poor gap. Being low born is a sign of bad karma often inciting jealousy in witnessing the prosperity of others. I believe, other than the weakness of human nature overpowered by fickle fate, the belief in the evil eye points to a bigger problem. The unresolved attempt to empower the masses, especially women against the vicissitudes of life, religious and political strife to overpower the global economy, the opportunity one missed out on account of unfair social practices, the lack of a level playing field, and such others all point to the dissatisfaction and disgruntlement of a section that was never allowed to hold its head high.
Now while this piece is essentially about a brand-new literary chat show that has recently been making waves in the Indian literary community, a bit of background for the uninitiated, might be in order.
I’m sure we all agree that writing is a solitary exercise. It therefore becomes necessary for writers, particularly from the point of view of their social and emotional well-being and productivity, to belong to a community, a place where they can meet and interact with other like-minded people. For many of us here in India (and internationally too), The Book Bakers literary agency is that place. A powerhouse of talent and support, this beautiful community has given hundreds of authors (both men and women) a sense of belonging.
Recently The Book Bakers launched its very own chat show titled “Superstars with Suhail”. Following a warm welcome by our host and dost Suhail Mathur, this revolutionary show gives viewers an up-close look into the lives of their favourite authors. With 13 fabulous segments, including inspirational literary experiences, a superb rapid fire, anecdotal encounters, witty brain teasers and many more, the show is spread across around 40 minutes per episode, making it a sharp, fun-filled viewing experience. It is hardly surprising then, that the show already has a record number of views and counting. And why not? After all, the questions are astute and novel, with a completely fresh perspective, one that is different from everything we’ve seen before. The show features some of India’s most well-known writers across a plethora of intriguing genres. It does a deep dive into the lives of these famous personalities, providing viewers with a rare on-screen insight into the personality and psyche of their favourite authors. The interviews are as entertaining as they are compelling, with an aim to inspire. The camaraderie the authors share with the host, is evident from the ease and comfort with which the conversation flows. Revelatory questions around subjects that are universally fascinating, emotional appeal, and an overall upbeat atmosphere are some of the USPs that make the show a winner all the way.
Honest, heart-warming and hilarious in equal measure, this show is the perfect fix for book lovers who like to delve beyond the book. As for me, suffice it to say that I simply love the idea of a show where authors are the superstars. In a nutshell, “Superstars with Suhail” is exactly what you need to get your weekend off to a great start!
P.s. The show airs every Saturday morning at sharp 8 am on The Book Bakers YouTube channel.
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