Women’s Web is saying Goodbye! Please make sure you read this important notification.
Dhak Dhak is a rare Bollywood movie that you would be hard pressed to find faults with. The core message of this film is so refreshing, inspiring and uplifting that it would be cruel to start nitpicking, or as we say nukhta-cheeni in Hindi, over things direction, storytelling, cinematography, casting, music, etc., instead of enjoying this movie for what it truly is.
Released on Netflix in December 2023, it is a story of 4 women going on a bike trip from Delhi to Khardung La in Ladakh. Directed by Tarun Dudeja, this movie boasts of accomplished stars like Ratna Pathak, Dia Mirza, Fatima Sana Shaikh and Sanjana Sanghi.
Dhak Dhak as a movie has touched upon several pertinent issues. With the film’s producer Taapsee Pannu planning a sequel in the not so distant future, let us look at the 5 main reasons why this movie is a must watch:
Within the first few minutes of watching the movie, you get to realise why it is necessary to have dedicated public washroom facilities for women across the country. Manjari (Lali), played by Sanjana Sanghi, needed to access a functioning loo while the riders were taking a break. Sadly, there was no public washroom anywhere near the place they had stopped.
This led them to go to open fields to relieve themselves. Another Bollywood movie Toilet had highlighted the same problem faced by women, especially in rural areas. Lack of proper washrooms at home or public spaces force them to go to open fields.
Not only is it dangerous because of the presence of wild animals/insects, but it also leaves them to vulnerable to attacks from men. Something that almost happened to Sky (Shashi Kumar Yadav), played by Fatima Sana Shaikh while she was waiting for the other 3 to return.
The lack of public toilets in our country, especially in crowded areas and in the hinterland is something that no government has been able to address till now. Granted that the Modi government has focussed on building more toilets in the country. But they need to do a lot more before large parts of India can gain access to safe and clean public sanitation.
Sky, an automotive vlogger and the most experienced biker on the trip, was the victim of online cyber bullying when her nude photos got leaked because of her boyfriend’s phone getting hacked. The online harassment that ensued was an apt portrayal of how internet has become a breeding ground for merciless trolling.
Many of those comments attributed Sky’s success as a vlogger solely to her leaked photos. This mindset is prevalent among several men, and many women, who are quick to attribute a woman’s professional growth to her body and not her talent.
Popular personalities, especially women, people from the LGBTQIA+ communities and religious/caste/racial minorities face a disproportionate amount of online harassment for no fault of theirs. Cyber bullying can be extremely distressing, painful and scary for any individual. We saw a glimpse of how Sky’s character was undergoing severe trauma from that trolling in the latter phases of the movie.
Not that other Bollywood movies haven’t talked about online bullying faced by women. Another movie recently released on Netflix, Kho Gaye Hum Kahan, has dedicated a small but significant portion to the vicious trolling faced by influencers.
But a movie like Dhak Dhak addresses this issue head on without fear. It has shown a mirror to the modern-age trolls. Their obnoxious comments have scarred several people in real life. There are several examples of people dying by suicide as a result of the incessant online trolling by those monsters.
These faceless trolls are conveniently hiding behind their computer/mobile screens while hurling abuses at others. It is time we call out this trolling culture and make efforts to put an end to it.
Ratna Pathak Shah essayed the role of Manpreet Kaur Sethi (Mahi) in the film. Her character was grappling both with loneliness from losing her husband and the pain of being taken for granted by her family. She got into biking by accident, having won a brand new motorcycle in a lucky draw.
But it turned out to be a blessing in disguise with her grandson teaching her how to ride the bike. Mahi was the one behind the idea for the week-long road trip to Ladakh.
Ratna Pathak Shah’s character is an example of how you can follow your dreams regardless of your age. It is not easy to pick up and master a new skill especially as you grow older in life. With age comes the baggage of heartbreak, grief, failure, loneliness and trauma that is difficult to just wish away. Plus the ability to learn anything from scratch also diminishes with time. So Mahi’s persistence to reach Khardung La in spite of all difficulties is an inspiration for us all.
Uzma, a character played by Dia Mirza, was the least expressive of the 4 characters. But once she was on her bike, there was no one that could match her tenacity and determination. As the movie progresses, we come to know that not only is she a brilliant bike rider and mechanic, she was also the owner of Hindustan Motorcycles that her grandfather had started long back. Unfortunately, Uzma’s husband took control of the garage from her father after their marriage.
Her husband Shabbir (Dheerendra Dwivedi) was not someone that you would call an ideal husband. Unfortunately, many men behave exactly like Shabbir when it comes to heterosexual relationships. His character reflects how many women get the raw end of the deal in a marriage.
Uzma silently bore all the excesses of her husband just to give her daughter Zoya a good education. Uzma agreed to go on the Ladakh trip not to get away from her family. It was because she would earn 75,000 rupees as a bike mechanic on the trip, which would enable her to buy Zoya a laptop to help her study better.
Both Uzma’s eyes and her smile betrayed a sense of injustice. She was tied to the household by her husband, which led to her losing the agency to live a normal life both inside and outside her marriage. Many women, like Uzma in Dhak Dhak, have to sacrifice their passions at the altar of their marriages. Something that is not only unfair but also cruel.
Unfortunately, marriages in India are beset with several problems like dowry, domestic violence, infidelity, issues with in-laws, etc. There are several instances of both married women and men suffering physical, emotional or financial abuse in their relationships. But it is also true that married women in general face far too many difficulties, something that does not bode well for this institution.
No movie review of Dhak Dhak can be complete without praising its outstanding cinematography. Granted that the Delhi to Ladakh route has several picturesque spots, it took the sharp skills of Sreechith Vijayan and Damodar to give us the complete experience of a road trip right within our living rooms.
With the movie being shot in 83 different locations, the picturization could not have been any better. It wouldn’t surprise me if many of us get the motivation to get on our bikes and embark on road trips like these.
If you go to the Wikipedia page of Dhak Dhak, the movie release date is listed as 13th October 2023. Hardly anyone reading this would have heard about the movie till it came on Netflix 2 months later. Was it a case of not-so-great movie promotion or lack of interest from the public? We may never know the answer to that.
But a movie like Dhak Dhak needs a push from us regardless. Or else directors who want to make cinema a medium of send the right kind of messages would not find the financial motivation to do so.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
“Change is coming”, this must sound familiar to you. Words like transformation, empowerment, self-reliance, and many, are likely being heard by you everyday! But the question is, how will we know? We will know by looking at the women of India who are making every possible effort to stand on their own feet and move forward. We always bring before you the stories of such women who have succeeded in changing their lives and are also encouraging other women like them to move forward.
Madhubala, hailing from the village of Mangolepur in the Banaras district of Uttar Pradesh, had faced many problems, but she never gave up, and at one point became a member of a local Self Help Group (SHG). She used to do some small scale animal husbandry work but today Madhubala has become empowered by setting up her own jewellery business.
Madhubala Chauhan, residing in Mangolepur under the Cholapur block of Banaras district, witnessed a transformative journey.
She shares, “Initially, I used to rear one or two goats at home, facing financial difficulties. I joined the Chaura Mata Self-Help Group. I received training to make jewellery and gradually started my work. I took a loan of 75,000 rupees from CCL and bought metal and dye machines for jewellery making. I crafted various designs of artificial jewellery sets, selling them retail and wholesale to local traders. I took two loans and repaid them successfully.”
Residents of Mangolepur praise Madhubala’s craftsmanship, stating that her jewellery is of excellent quality and suitable for any occasion. Her venture into designer jewellery added a new dimension to the recognition of the SHG.
Residing in a small village, Madhubala expanded her jewellery-making business through hard work. She reveals, “In 2022, my business reached 6 lakh rupees, and my savings amounted to 85,000. My husband, Shivnand Chauhan, also supports our family. I earn between 3 and 4 lakh rupees during festival and wedding seasons.” The women in this district are improving their lives by joining SHGs. These women were trained in jewellery making, aiming to make them self-reliant.
In Uttar Pradesh, special attention is given to skill development for women through SHGs. Women in the state, through these groups, are continuously becoming self-reliant and contributing to their families. Madhubala’s story exemplifies the empowerment of women through self-help groups, showcasing how skill development and entrepreneurship can lead to significant transformations in their lives.
Ravivar Vichar has made a commitment to bring forth the stories of every such woman and make us aware of their lives.
In this WomensWebXMahilaMoney impact series, we bring you entrepreneurs like Madhubala Chauhan who had not just the ambition to grow, but took the steps needed to bring their dreams to fruition. Apply for a loan of up to 25 lakhs to fuel your business growth by downloading the Mahila Money App on Google Playstore or visiting the website here.
February 4 is marked as World Cancer Day. As global organizations urge caution and care against the dreaded disease, many bring in calm declaring that most forms of Cancer are treatable if diagnosed early.
I re-read this sentence several times. My stomach churns and before I know my eyes well up, sending shivers down the spine. I time travel thirty-six years back when Cancer meant the end of the world for me. It did end my world when my mother succumbed to colon cancer leaving an insurmountable vacuum in our lives. What is the lingering effect of the battle my mother fought? What was it then that we can do better today? Pursuing these answers is in the hope that more and more can relate to the experiences.
I was thirteen with two younger siblings when the bombshell landed. I can never forget the awkwardness when we were marched into the intensive care unit of the hospital. Our tender minds were curious and anxious when we saw Mom surrounded by strangely beeping instruments and tubes spread like a lattice. She had slipped into a coma. To date that is the last memory I carry of her. It has deeply affected me and I have trouble with sleep.
This brings me to the question, “How should family members and young children be told about the disease?” The stress and worry my father faced right from the diagnosis to the treatment and the end – I understand that today. What help can families reach out for in such times?
Over the years, my anxiety about illness in the family continues to grow. I have met several counselors, and interacted with coaches, yet I see no way that offers any resolution around this. I find myself panicking and unable to provide support and relief in any emergency. I constantly worry and think of the worst outcomes.
This brings me to the next question, what can be done and made available to help families and loved ones process the grief? There are many organizations, people, and spiritual services available but these are mostly to ensure awareness. Their reach still falls short.
Death remains a personal agony to grapple with. Many move on, but so many don’t. It wasn’t till a few years ago that I learned how unresolved grief can be the harbinger of health issues. I live with anemia that can only be countered by intravenous shots and chronic gastric trouble. I’m still finding ways to process the unresolved grief which is affecting several areas of my life. Would things have been different had grief counseling been given? I wonder and strongly advocate it especially for children and younger members of the family.
What can we do better today?
The strongest tool in our kitty is access to unlimited knowledge and the ability to share it on social media. Most importantly for women. Even today some women continue to ignore warning signs.
Every layer of the social fabric should begin to contribute. The academic system has a major role to play. I’m glad to see change when topics like Menstruation, Sex are now a part of the life skills program in school. It will make a big difference if talk about cancer can be included. Young minds are aware minds, they go home and talk about it. They are sensitive to elders discussing symptoms, they can be the ones to push for early diagnosis and detection.
Cancer is a disease where early detection can be a savior. I know of an example in my family, where a senior member kept evading a screening for breast cancer despite feeling a lump. She did not want to risk her daughter’s impending marriage rituals so she delayed the screening.
My mother went through two surgeries when she began experiencing abdominal pain. Till then no one knew it was Cancer. The correct diagnosis took more than a year. Within that year her pain was managed in medical terms and suppressed in human terms.
By the time someone suggested a second opinion, the cancer had become aggressive. Thereon, it was only a downhill journey.
Family members must become vocal, and involved, questioning whether each step is diagnosis or treatment.
Widen the network of friends and family. Nothing heals like love and laughter. Isolation heightens negativity.
Thanks to all the research and scientific progress Cancer is more treatable and nothing to be feared. The only constant remains is staying aware and listening to the body.
Image source: by _Ella_ from Getty Images and by EJGrubbs from Getty Images, both Free for Canva Pro
“I don’t know what to say.” The response was tediously predictable.
The night before, in the haze of sleep, Rashi had envisioned her husband uttering this phrase. In the quiet of the night, those words seemed distant, barely audible whispers. Now, in the stark reality of daylight, the same words carried a palpable edge, slicing through the air just a few feet away from her.
She turned to her right, locking eyes with Shekhar, her husband of twenty years. In the ambient darkness, he lay sprawled across the bed, his forty-five-year-old frame etched in shadows. The weariness of life etched lines on his face, and a subtle slouch betrayed a man accustomed to the monotony of existence.
“You don’t have to say anything,” Rashi countered with a subtle shrug.
“That’s what you want, don’t you?” Shekhar persisted with more than a tinge of sarcasm. “That I let you do whatever you want.”
She sat straight up on the bed. “What do you mean by ‘let me’ do it? I am a forty-year-old adult, not a five-year-old child seeking permission.”
“There – you have donned your durga avatar again. I am just saying you went on a trip with your newfound girlfriends three months ago. Now you want to go on another escapade next month.”
“That was one destination; this is another. And if you heard me, I stated about travelling solo this time.”
The startled expression betrayed the fact that her husband was paying more attention to the television than her at the start of the conversation. But then, he always prefers talking to listening, Rashi thought.
“Solo travel!!! What’s gotten into you?”
“I have been wanting to visit Auroville for a while. Since no one seems free for the next few months, I have decided to embark on the journey alone instead of waiting indefinitely. What’s the big deal?”
“I don’t know what to say,” Shekhar echoed like a parrot before continuing, “I can’t let you go.”
“I wasn’t asking you. Just informing you that I will be travelling out of town for ten days next month,” she remarked, reclining on the bed once more, her thumping heart now under control. The conversation was less complicated than she had envisioned in her head.
She changed sides to face the wall. In the moonlight peeping through the window, the contours and façade of the bare structure represented the stark reality of her two-decade-long marriage.
***
Married at the tender age of twenty, a few days after her graduation, she had acquiesced to her father’s arrangement with the son of his close friend despite her own aspirations for further education. A conservative mother-in-law and a pliant husband left little room for her to contemplate a career outside the home.
Shekhar never raised his voice or berated her before others and always wished her on her birthdays. According to her mother, these attributes made him a good husband.
Rashi wasn’t so sure.
Nourished on a cinematic diet of Shahrukh Khan’s movies, she had associated romance with candlelit dinners, surprise gifts and soft toys. She longed for that reassuring touch of hand to comfort her amid her mother-in-law’s criticism for the chapatis not being round enough. She wished for her husband’s post-business evening hours to be filled with conversation rather than the constant hum of the news on the television. The desire to explore destinations beyond the confines of Bhopal and escape the routine annual trips to Ujjain with her husband’s business associates and their spouses lingered persistently.
But her explicit entreaties met polite dismissals, and unspoken wishes remained unacknowledged.
The initial years of marriage crawled until she embraced motherhood with the arrival of an adorable son. Time, once sluggish, suddenly raced forward, and she gave birth to a cherubic daughter a year later. Amidst the whirlwind of household chores, a mother’s duties, a wife’s obligations and a daughter-in-law’s responsibilities, Rashi – the person – took a backseat. The luxury of reminiscing about dreams and desires eluded her, and gradually, these aspirations faded into the recesses of her mind.
The hands of time ticked on, casting shadows in their wake. The children grew up, Shekhar became fatter and quieter, and her mother-in-law’s tongue acquired a sharper edge as she withdrew to her bed. In the monotony of daily life, Rashi scarcely registered these changes.
Till the day, about a year ago, her mother-in-law died peacefully in her sleep.
Their home buzzed with visitors, and Rashi was immersed in tending to their needs and fulfilling the responsibilities befitting a daughter-in-law during the cremation rites. The cascade of obligations left little room for tears. Once the men departed for the cremation grounds, leaving the women to congregate in the living room, Rashi got to put her feet up and engage with the guests.
Shweta, the maverick fifty-year-old widow and a recent addition to her circle of friends remarked, “It must be a relief, Rashi, to see the old lady gone.”
“What are you saying, Shweta?” Rashi said, taken aback. “I genuinely loved my mother-in-law.”
“I am sure you did. But I observed the old lady, may her soul rest in peace, imposing too many restrictions on you. Bahu, do this, don’t do that, etc. You will regain at least half of your freedom with her gone.”
Rashi looked askance at her. What was the point of talking ill of the departed soul?
Before she could voice her views, Priyanka, seated to her right, queried, “Half freedom? When will Rashi get full freedom?”
“Can a married woman ever be fully free?” Shweta countered with a question of her own. She continued after a pause, “I experienced freedom after the death of my dear husband.”
The crowded room fell into stunned silence. The sound of a pin drop would have echoed in the charged atmosphere at that moment.
Unperturbed by the reactions around her, Shweta continued her narrative. “I loved my husband, though I never knew if the feeling was mutual – he never told me. Despite our nuclear family setting, he was very conservative, with strong views on everything about me. What to wear, how to conduct myself, who to speak to, where to go – he decided everything for me. I lost the habit of making my own decisions, and stopped loving myself in the process.
“When he succumbed to a sudden heart attack five years ago, alongside the grief, I was terrified about navigating a long life all alone. There was the estate, business, home and children to care for. I doubted my ability to make the required decisions.” Shweta gulped, fixating her gaze into the distance, speaking more to herself than them.
“It took me several months to realise that I had gained freedom. I was free to pursue my desires and travel unchartered territories. The taste of freedom also made me discover that I am a strong woman capable of making important decisions. I can’t describe that feeling in words!
“I discovered that one life is too brief to explore the intriguing places, things, and people the world offers. I miss my husband daily, but life is also better in many ways.”
She tilted her head and looked straight into Rashi’s eyes, “What a pity that it took the death of my husband to love myself and regain my zest for life.”
Rashi shivered in the May warmth. She wanted to rebuke Shweta for her words but couldn’t. Something stirred within her soul.
It should not take ME the death of my husband, or any other family member, to love myself.
From that moment forward, Rashi started to prioritise herself. It was subtle at first, like insisting on viewing her favourite soap on TV and cooking her preferred dishes for dinner once a week. Then, six months ago, she took her first bold step by enrolling for a full-time post-graduation program.
“You will study at this age?” Shekhar’s incredulity echoed through the air.
“My friends will tease me about me and my mother studying in the same college,” Aarav – her son – lamented.
“Knowledge knows no age limit, and you can tell your friends that’s cool,” she retorted to both of them at once.
“I don’t know what to say.” That was the first time she heard Shekhar utter the phrase that would become his recurrent refrain with every new pursuit of Rashi’s.
Rashi ignored the questions and barbs. Stepping outside the confines of her house, forging new friendships, reading books and binge-watching the Netflix catalogue was making the mundane interesting for her. The drab grey roads appeared a cheerful blue. The blazing sun became a bright harbinger of hope; the melodious chirping of birds resonated like a symphony in her ears.
She was the first to raise her hand when someone in her social circle proposed a ladies-only trip to Auli in winter. That was the first time after marriage that she travelled to a city other than Ujjain, and without her husband.
A bewildered Shekhar could only manage mumbled expressions of not knowing what to say.
Rashi thoroughly enjoyed herself on the trip and looked forward to travel again. Unfortunately, all her friends were occupied at this time of the year, and the thought of solo travel entered her mind. She attempted to brush aside the contemplation, but it gnawed at her consciousness and burgeoned into a determination, compelling her to take the plunge.
That night, she conveyed her decision to her husband, who expressed his reluctance to ‘let’ her go. She bristled and turned on the bed. How can men talk about letting or not letting their wives do something so casually? She could not imagine saying the same to her husband, or her children for that matter. She sighed and closed her eyes, hoping this was another one of those things destined to change.
Rashi tossed and turned until the unfiltered signs of dawn seeped through the bedroom window. Springing out of her bed, she looked forward to her day at the college. The whistle of the cooker and the clamour of morning chores couldn’t drown out the melody of the song she hummed to herself.
She was arranging the final piece of breakfast cutlery on the table when Aarav remarked, “Dad says you’re going on a solo trip next month.” She glanced first at her husband, then her son, and back to her husband. Sleep certainly hadn’t pushed her upcoming trip to the back of his mind.
“Yes, I am,” she responded, taking her seat at the table. She generously applied butter to her bread and noticed no one else had begun breakfast.
“That’s so cool,” Ahana, her daughter gushed. Rashi smiled at her.
“You can’t go, Mom,” Aarav persisted. “It’s not safe.”
Rashi laid her fork and knife back on the dining table, looking directly at her son. “I appreciate your concern, Aarav, but I can take care of myself,” she said. “Also, please don’t tell me what I can and can’t do. I am older than you, you know,” she winked, hoping to soften the stern tone of her message.
“But I can tell you,” Shekhar interjected, “being older than you.”
“By a couple of years. That establishes both of us as adults,” Rashi countered. “We both are free to pursue our desires. From now on, I will not dictate what you can or can’t do,” she declared, adding, “I will let you do the things you want.”
“What… but… I have always done what I wanted,” Shekhar quipped with a puzzled frown. “Why would you stop me from anything?”
“Exactly. So why would you stop me? Who are we to let or not let each other do certain things? We can always talk and find common ground if there’s a difference of opinion. Why preemptively decide on behalf of the other person?”
The children and their father consumed breakfast in silence as Rashi finished hers and rose from the chair. “I am running late for college. See you in the evening.”
Fifteen minutes later, while applying lipstick looking into the mirror, she noticed her husband entering the room and standing silently behind her. It was unlike him to remain quiet in her presence.
Rashi turned. “Is anything the matter?” she asked.
“No…I…just wanted to know…is there someone else in your life, Rashi?”
The lipstick stick slipped from her hand as she looked askance at her husband. Twenty years of marriage had dwindled to a lack of trust simply because she had begun to hold her ground in certain matters.
She turned back to the mirror. For a change, it was she who didn’t know what to say.
Her reflection stared back at her. The azure silk saree complemented the full-sleeved woollen blouse, and the black shawl lent a regal touch to her slender frame. The erect countenance, coupled with the wedge heels, made her look taller than her actual height. Her reflection stared back at her. The blue silk saree went well with the full-sleeved woollen blouse, the black shawl lending a regal touch to her slender frame. The erect countenance with the wedge heels made her taller than she was. Her cheeks shone bright, and the kajal gave prominence to her eyes. The mauve lipstick added the right dash of colour to her face.
It was the image of a confident and content woman standing before her.
After years of solitude in a long marriage, Rashi had rediscovered self-love. That was making all the difference.
“There is, Shekhar,” she replied, meeting his eyes in the mirror, trying to recall the last time she saw him this shocked.
“I knew it…” he began.
“But it’s not a man,” she interrupted, realising she had delivered the shock of his life. “It is the woman you see standing before you, the face of who you see now in the mirror. For all these years, I had forgotten her. Now she has come back into my life.”
The whirring of the fan was the only sound in the room as both stood gazing into the mirror. Shekhar cleared his throat after some time, the surprise and relief evident on his face.
“I don’t know what to say,” he admitted. Rashi smiled.
Image source: YouTube/ short film Ghar ki Murgi
To the people who rant about Poonam Pandey’s “good” intention behind her publicity stunt, let me tell you about its negative impact.
When scrolling through a recent Instagram post of Dr Taneya Narendra (Drcuterus), I saw a few comments saying, “Poonam Pandey is alive; now stop this,” and that is its negative impact, which has the potential to overpower her “good intentions.” Why? Because this is India, where the lack of reproductive awareness is celebrated.
For many, because of her PR activity, cervical cancer has now turned out to be a joke. Some are even thinking that all these cervical cancer things on social media are marketing tactics of pharmacies. Basically this act of PR stunt created misunderstanding among the people. But the data showing the numbers of cervical cancer patients may shock them.
According to data from the World Health Organization for 2020, cervical cancer is the fourth most common cancer in women. In 2024, the American Cancer Society estimates the diagnosis of about 13,820 new cases in the United States. Also, it mentioned the estimated death rate, which is 4360.
In India, of all cancers in women, an approximate 6-29% contributes to cervical cancer, from the data provided by the National Library of Medicine, the second-most common type of cancer in our country. So the danger of this disease is beyond Poonam Pandey’s publicity stunt.
Social media is an influential platform; it is where multiple types of communication are happening. The contents here have the potential to influence its consumers. The impact from these media can make a person change their decisions, their opinion, their way of thinking, etc.
With all its positive aspects, it is a good medium to educate people about such diseases and create awareness.
But do we need to make a drama about fake deaths to gain attention on this specific topic? It is up to the users of these platforms. We, as users and consumers of these platforms, should be responsible towards the society. Death is not a joke. There are many people who have lost loved ones because of cancer. For them, the news that flows through social media may generate their past emotional turmoil. It affects them mentally. Making all of them mentally unwell for a day and the next morning coming up with a video saying “I am alive” is utterly insensitive.
His days are lacquered in uniform
Without faltering does he perform.
His dreams go parched in that resolute world,
His marooned days vying for the daily bread gets whirled.
The balmy jingle is no more welcoming him in the morning,
His swiftly fading self is in the sour breath of mourning.
His disillusioned self fails to open up his heart,
His exhausted persona makes only himself hurt.
Unmindful of the rivulets of his days and nights,
The new shapeless vortex has devoured his delights.
In that incessant cacophony, he craves for his son
Amidst that endless pain, he loves the newborn a ton.
The wavering ‘network’ turns his face crimson with anger
The ‘hanging’ and ‘disconnecting’ v- calls fill him with languor.
Disheartened and dispirited by his banal entity,
He’s in search of something in intensity.
He lavishes his darling baby, a virtual cuddle
For his affection, the little cherub and the toys huddle.
In the bouts of strenuous monotony, he silently sails
In the shards of loneliness, he withers and wordlessly wails.
( When I tried to weave my Husband’s emotions through words)
Dedicated to Sujeeth, my chivalrous Darcy!
A lot has already been said about Sandeep Vanga Reddy’s film Animal, and I’m super late to the party. After enduring the 3-hour 21-minute film, I was left utterly disgusted by the violence, craziness, brutality, misogyny, and toxicity. As the credits rolled, I thought if there’s anything more to write about the film, it’s definitely about Gitanjali, portrayed by Rashmika Mandanna.
I recall Rashmika’s Instagram post, where she described her character Gitanjali as “the only force at home holding her family together. She is pure, real, unfiltered, strong, and raw.” After watching the film, I firmly believe that the word “strong” is unconvincing. How is enduring a toxic, misogynistic, and criminal family the epitome of strength? Sure, a lot of women do that even today, which is extremely unfortunate. But that definitely doesn’t need to be glorified!
Strong women don’t tolerate abuse. They don’t settle for less, and they sure as heck don’t compromise their self-respect.
Gitanjali was attracted to Ranvijay’s violent defence of his sister. Later, she called off her engagement after he flaunted his so-called ‘alpha male’ traits and commented on the size of her pelvis, but yet went back to him. In what world is that even remotely impressive? He clearly waved an entire red carpet on her face, and she fell for him with her eyes wide open!
One other scene that stood out for me as highly problematic was when Gitanjali defended Ranvijay to her parents. She glorified him for supporting her during pregnancy and labour. Hold on, isn’t that like a husband’s basic duty? It’s 2024, and it’s disheartening that many women still settle for the bare minimum and glorify it!
While I do appreciate that, unlike Preeti from Arjun Reddy (Sandeep Vanga Reddy’s previous film), Gitanjali doesn’t take Ranvijay’s crap without hitting back. She does stand up for herself against Vijay’s toxic and abusive behaviour. But what next? She forgives and forgets faster than cooking Maggi!
She finally decides she’s had enough and asks Ranvijay for a divorce after learning of his infidelity. Unsurprisingly, Ranvijay aims a gun at her and fires at the glass door behind her, all while the kids are sleeping in the same room. Despite this near-death experience, Gitanjali is seen reconciling with him in the very next scene. In what world would a “strong” woman do that? If this isn’t tolerating abuse at its peak, I don’t know what is!
Towards the end of the film, we see Gitanjali informing Ranvijay that she is leaving him and heading to the US with the kids, but guess what? In the next scene, she is seen with tears streaming down her eyes as she sees her son hugging the man who abused her, cheated on her, and almost shot her. I’m no fortune teller, but with Sandeep Vanga Reddy as the director and going by Gitanjali’s character arc, my money is on Gitanjali giving Ranvijay yet another chance in Part 2 of the film.
As a feminist woman, I’m all about sisterhood, and I don’t intend to throw shade at Rashmika. But maybe acknowledging Gitanjali’s flaws or just refraining from glorifying the character would have been appreciated. I get it’s her movie, but as an actor and a woman, a bit of social responsibility wouldn’t hurt, right?
The invisible hand of Fate! “Pa has lost his senses …What a disgrace for the entire family! How can we even face the world,”said Ruchita with a disgusting look on her face. “Stop talking thus. You are talking as though the Heavens are falling down,” shouted Ravi, the eldest of Kumar’s children, at his sister Ruchi. “What else is this but disgrace…Does Pa need second marriage at this age?” continued she…” What is wrong in it,” argued Ravi. “Yeah, he has grown up grandchildren also… The very thought of his remarriage is revolting”, added Rahul, Kumar’s second son… “Now look, Rahul… “, said Ravi firmly..”Had Dad taken this decision when we were young, would we have agreed to it? Even then we would not have supported his decision…So what is wrong now? He has fulfilled all his commitments and has every right to lead his life the way he wants…” “Bhaiyya, how will I face my in-laws? What will be their reaction,”said Ruchi “Moreover, Maji is still alive,” pitched in Rahul’s wife, Swathi. “Yes, Ma is still alive…There was complication when she delivered Ruchi, because of which she lost her senses. She is still undergoing treatment for the same…Major part of Pa’s salary and savings have gone into Ma’s treatment…Pa has not had a peaceful life and has spent all his life looking after us three…” Ravi broke down when he spoke thus…” I think Pa’s decision is correct”’ echoed Ravi’s wife Saranya. “So, are you justifying Pa’s action,”asked Swathi. “This decision is related to the mind and has not got anything to do with the body,” continued Saranya firmly. “Now, now, now, why it that you guys don’t understand that it is is a shame on our family… That lady is of a totally different religion and is moreover elder to Pa by three to four years…Is it not totally disgusting to even think of it…” interrupted Ruchi. “This is not the way you speak about elders… Now shut-up,” shouted Ravi… “Why do you get so agitated if I speak about her,” retorted Ruchi. “Do you want to know the reason? It is now several years since I accepted her in my mother’s place,” said Ravi calmly…Listening to the arguments that were taking place between his children, Kumar felt highly emotional and his thoughts raced back to the day when he first met Jenny… Kumar was the head of a highly popular channel in the national network TV in Mumbai…Several talk shows and hard talks filled up the prime slots, wherein he was questioned in a very candid manner by several TV reporters… One such reporter was Jenny, who interviewed him in one of the hard talk shows… The questions fired at him suffocated him and somehow he managed to complete the show… He was thoroughly impressed by the way she conducted the show… and became an ardent fan of hers immediately…From then on his mind started to wander around her… Three days later he met her at Apoorva Gana Sabha, where he had gone to see a concert… He found her there fully engrossed in the concert… On their way out they met each other and exchanged pleasantries. Few days later he met her in a book fair. She seemed to be a voracious reader and was carrying a pile of books towards her car.Then onwards, they started meeting quite regularly and exchanged views on various subjects. Thus blossomed their ‘gentle’ friendship.They were quite frank about their families… Jenny’s marriage fell apart within 3 months of marriage and Kumar also was candid enough in admitting about his family. He told her about his three kids and his wife being in a vegetable state in a hospital after the birth of their third child.and also that his three kids were being taken care of by their grandparents in their younger days.Both, Jenny and Kumar found solace in each other’s friendship and deep understanding bloomed between them…. one a TV channel head and another a reporter, they shared several common interests and this drew them closer. On one of Ravi’s visits to his father’s place, Kumar introduced Jenny to him.Ravi had just then finished his school finals and had come to Mumbai for further studies. At the very first meeting Jenny’s shoulder length hair; her crisp cotton saree worn elegantly; and her gentle ways attracted Ravi. He spoke without any inhibition with her as though he had known her for a very long time…She reciprocated the same towards him. He addressed her as Jennyma and very soon they both went to malls; for college admissions; for a cup of tea etc… without Kumar. Kumar jokingly said that he was an ‘intruder’ between them.That was the way their understanding and affection grew as days passed by. Kumar happened to go to Hyderabad on some official work leaving behind Ravi at home. One morning as Ravi was going to some restaurant with his friend, his bike met with an accident. Ravi sustained severe knee and hip injuries while his friend escaped with a mere bruise. On hearing this, Jenny came running and took him to the nearest hospital and looked after him day and night for four days till he was discharged from the hospital. She remained a constant source of support to Kumar who was fully occupied with his work at Hyderabad. Kumar’s official duties held him there for nearly a month. Till such time Ravi stayed in Jenny’s apartment…Kumar, on returning from Hyderabad went straight to Jenny’s house. “Jenny, I have no words to thank you.Thanks will just be a formality, “saying thus, Kumar broke down. Son and father were relaxing in the balcony late in the evening. “Pa.,” said Ravi. “What my beta, is anything hurting you? Why this hesitation?” “Do you want to tell me something?” With tears streaming down his cheeks Kumar continued,” Papa, I like Jennyma a lot…In your absence, she looked after me… so well so well Papa. Looked after all my needs as a mother or father , played with me like a friend, took full care of me as a nurse would, teased me like a sister, kept me happy always.. what more can I say?”” Papa, I can see my mother in her.. her unalloyed love has captivated me…” Kumar hugged him tightly and his eyes turned watery….He could sense the absence of a mother’s love in his son’s life and this cut him right through his heart. After this incident the closeness between the two of them grew by the day. Soon Kumar shook himself up from the past and his thoughts started to wander.Is she a mere friend? She has helped me monetarily and stood as a rock during times of crisis. Should she not be with me always in my life? Thinking thus, Kumar slowly drifted into sleep. With the wedding fast approaching in just another 10 days, Jenny insisted that she meet with Kumar’s wife, Kavya, at the hospital, even though she was in a mere vegetable state.. Kumar along with Ravi and Jenny went to the hospital. A frail and fair lady, Kumar’s wife, was sitting on the bed. “Mr. Kumar, do you see the great transformation in your wife? She is able to sit and even mumbles a few words, though not very coherently. Your unwavering support and prayers have been answered, “ said the Doctor enthusiastically… “OMG, what is this… she has been immobile and just a vegetable for the past so many years… but now??” uttered Kumar unbelievably to himself. Jenny took Kavya‘s hands gently and placed them in between her hands..On seeing Jenny, Kavya‘s face lit up with glee.. Kumar stood shell shocked not knowing what to do…whether to rejoice at his wife’s recovery or lament over the possible cancellation of his impending marriage to Jenny. All three of them left the hospital after talking to the doctor. There was stony silence as they travelled in the car…Several thoughts crossed their minds at the sudden twist of fate… “Kumar, let’s call off this marriage,” said a calm and composed Jenny.”What??” asked Kumar in a shocked tone. “It is perhaps God’s wish that we should not unite in matrimony… let’s remain friends and nothing more… Kumar started to say something..” No Kumar, please…” “Jennyma..,” started Ravi. “No Ravi, let’s not discuss any further on this. The entire family will rejoice when you mother returns home after many years and feel absolutely relieved that Kumar’s re-marriage has been cancelled. I will also be free from guilt.” I just walked into your lives, somewhere in the middle. Our relationship will not land us anywhere now.” Ravi could hear no further, got down from the car and just walked away. Kumar, gently, put his hand on Jenny’s shoulder.She could not contain herself and burst into tears and wept uncontrollably, leaning on Kumar’s shoulders.. Both of them held onto each other with moist eyes for a while as tears rolled over their cheeks …Yes it was a marriage that was not to be…. No one can escape the strong grip of fate!!
One of the exciting news of 2024 is that legendary actress and dancer Vyjayantimala who emerged as one of the most spectacular actresses of her era primarily the 50s, 60s, and 70s has been awarded with the Padma Vibhushan, the second-highest civilian honour by the government of India. Despite being away from the world of glamour and glitz most commonly associated with the vibrant film Industry, she still remains a major source of inspiration for her successors such as the legendary Hema Malini who recently met her at her residence in Chennai alongside Saira Banu who lovingly calls her “Akka” which means “Elder Sister” in the South Indian dialect.
In addition, she is known to be the first “superstar” originating from South India, inspiring many gorgeous actresses from South India to rule the film industry.
The nonagenarian has been well-known for her exceptional acting prowess, her classical training in Bharatanatyam which further propelled her to achieve enormous acclaim as a dancer, and the way she continues to age gracefully. A fun fact is that she performed in front of the Pope of the Vatican at the age of 6. Still actively dancing today, she recently performed a classical Bharatanatyam performance titled “Sri Andal’s Sanga Tamizh Malai” with a few young dancers this past December. This further solidifies the fact that a dancer always remains a dancer throughout her lifetime, which adds magnified credence to how her craft still lives in the hearts of millions.
Being a huge cinephile at heart, I rejoice in capturing the essence of classics because they have truly introduced me to a new mode of thinking which is apparently lacking in our cosmopolitan society today.
The first film I have ever watched of Vyjayantimala is the 1964 Raj Kapoor directed film Sangam shot in Eastman Color.
The overall picturesque landscapes and dramatic scenes combined with a flair of comedy, romance, and tragedy makes this an evergreen film that you can watch at any day or time. The mercurial song “Bol Radha Bol Sangam Hoga Ki Nahin” remains an eternal favorite since it captures the naughtiness of youthful love which will make you smile no matter what.
Her histrionics displayed in her elegant dance and expression in the iconic song “Mein Ka Karu Raam Mujhe Budha Mil Gaya” is a must-watch since it is truly an impeccable work of art which strategically captures her finesse as a full-fledged performer. Her stunning chemistry with the original Showman Raj Kapoor was beguiling to the eyes and hilarious too!
However, one of my most favorite songs picturized on her remains “Hothon Mein Aisi Baat” from the 1967 classic Jewel Thief starring the legendary Dev Anand. The way she showcases the fusion of many distinct dance styles magnified by her ebullient facial expressions adds wonders to this eclectic song which is still popular to this day!
As a matter of fact, she was given the nickname “Twinkle Toes” due to the meticulous way she carried out her dance steps while glowing rhythmically. With her cherubic face, she was able to exude mysticism and a mesmerizing aura during her myriad dance performances on-screen and even off-screen.
In addition, she shared excellent chemistry with her co-stars such as the legendary “Kohinoor” of the Indian Film Industry Dilip Kumar in cinematic blockbusters such as Devdas (1955), Naya Daur (1957), Madhumati (1958), and Ganga Jamuna (1961). She also shared a beautiful organic chemistry with legendary Rajendra Kumar in Sangam (1964), Suraj (1966), Saathi (1968), and many more.
As a leading actress in many of her impactful films, Vyjayantimala epitomizes a woman who can be loving, feisty, resilient during times of distress, benevolent, and still steal the show with her amazing dialogue delivery and emotions.
For instance, in Sangam (1964) which translates to “Union”, she portrays the role of Radha who falls in love with Gopal (Rajendra Kumar) but must strangle her emotions due to Gopal’s endearing friendship with Sundar (Raj Kapoor) who also loves her since childhood. Unbeknownst to Sundar, Radha has only considered him as a playful and mischievous friend who she can never expect to have a serious relationship with. However, during the course of events, she ends up falling in love with Sundar who becomes her husband. Again, the idyllic depiction of a “Pati-Pratha” (devoted to husband) Indian women.
On the other hand, she portrays a brilliant nurse Shanti in Saathi (1968) who catches the eye of Dr. Ravi (Rajendra Kumar), and both fall in love with each other. Tragically, she becomes stricken with a deadly disease while supporting her husband on Cancer research. Aware of how her husband has been neglecting his duties as a Physician-Scientist due to his undying love and devotion towards her care, she flees as she begins to view herself as a nuisance distracting her husband from his valuable research.
Days later, her husband finds out from the news that her train met with an accident leaving him grief-stricken. But this sounds impossible in a film where Vyjantimala is the main heroine. Surprisingly, she is alive but must pretend that she is not his wife when she finds out that her husband has married Rajni, (Simi Garewal) the daughter of the man who raised him and made it possible for him to study abroad in the USA. In fact, the two melodious and heart-warming songs “Mein Toh Pyar Se” and “Mera Pyar Bhi Tu Hai” are prime examples of beautiful romantic music that effectively captures the organic chemistry between the lead pair.
Nevertheless, a writer will ultimately run out of words while describing Vyjayantimala as an accomplished actress, dancer, former Parliamentarian, and women of substance. Indeed, there is a tremendous level of grace, harmony, and elegance surrounding her that makes analyzing her career trajectory and milestones such a refined learning experience for young women like me.
When Poonam Kumari got married, little did she know that her husband would be supportive for her to complete her school education till the 10th. Poonam is now stretching her wings in becoming a role model in the fields of digital literacy and entrepreneurship for women around.
In this WomensWebXMahilaMoney impact series, we bring you entrepreneurs like Poonam Kumari who had not just the ambition to grow, but took the steps needed to bring their dreams to fruition. Apply for a loan of up to 25 lakhs to fuel your business growth by downloading the Mahila Money App on Google Playstore or visiting the website here.
Wandering through the village of Khedla in Alwar district, one residence stands out. A motley group of people patiently line up outside: some need updated PAN cards, while others eagerly submit applications for job cards — an essential gateway to various government schemes. Poonam Kumari is at the centre of a busy scene, efficiently managing the crowd and utilising technology to simplify the complicated process of government paperwork.
It all began when Poonam identified a significant gap in the accessible services for women in her village. Many hesitated to step out, constrained by their reliance on male family members.
Seizing this as an opportunity for empowerment and income generation, Poonam delved into digital services. “I learnt from YouTube tutorials and by participating in monthly training sessions, and I transformed my home into a central hub for essential services. Equipped with a tablet and printer provided by the training organisation, my common service centre evolved into a vital resource for the community. My E-Mitra centre offers a range of services, including applications for PAN cards, scholarships, job cards, voter IDs, ration cards, and JANDHAN KYC,” Poonam reveals.
In her unexpected journey, education has become more than just a personal achievement for Poonam — it has become a shared aspiration within her family.
She shares, “I had only completed the 5th grade when I married. My husband, who has studied up to the 9th grade, has been a driving force in helping me pursue and pass the 10th grade. And now, he envisions me appearing for the 12th board exams. Maybe I’ll study alongside my kids in my free time.”
Poonam recalls how a senior from her training program advised her to start saving and apply for a loan to upgrade her business setup. Initially, she was hesitant to approach money lenders because of their high interest rates. After visiting other banks etc., Poonam became aware that a collateral was required for a loan. To solve this problem, her senior suggested Mahila Money to her, as a place she would get a loan without this collateral, making her entrepreneurial journey more sustainable and fulfilling.
Poonam says, “I am glad I got the financial assistance based on my creditworthiness rather than asking for collateral. The subsequent smooth and transparent loan processes further solidified my trust in Mahila Money.”
With a loan of INR 1 lakh, Poonam strategically invested in purchasing a coloured printer, a lamination machine, an inverter and a laptop. These additions handled not only her operational challenges, such as electricity issues but also the quality and efficiency of her E-Centre’s services. The loan allowed Poonam to overcome financial barriers and upgrade her business infrastructure, unlocking new avenues for income generation.
With the enhanced service offerings, Poonam significantly improved her income from INR 5–7K to a commendable INR 10–12K.
When the black-and-white printer and frequent electricity blackouts started becoming an excuse for her customers to search for better options, Poonam realised that besides offering quality services, having quality infrastructure was another requirement. “The inverter and the coloured printer brought back my customers. The laptop’s convenience has also spread my business to the nearby five villages. Plus, by providing lamination services, I added an extra source of revenue.” It exemplifies the transformative impact that access to financial resources and the right support can have on economic growth, creating a ripple effect of positive change within communities.
Timely repayments, an unbreakable promise Poonam made to herself, ensured a positive credit history and strengthened her credibility with Mahila Money.
“The monthly reminders sent by Mahila Money ensures that I allocate a portion of my income to repay the loan and build a positive credit history. These tiny steps are building my journey to become financially independent,” Poonam shares proudly.
As she reflects on her journey, Poonam shares invaluable advice for aspiring women entrepreneurs. She says, “Initially, everyone thought how a woman with little formal education and no knowledge of computers could handle important documentation. They questioned my abilities to deliver quality services. Overcoming scepticism, I built trust; thus over a period of time, word of mouth spread the credibility of my services to neighbouring villages. Hence, my first advice would be to take your time and build trust.”
Further, Poonam emphasises steering clear of money lenders, engaging in regular banking transactions to have a good credit history and considering institutions like Mahila Money as reliable sources of financial support.
Poonam’s journey has now gone a step further and ignited a spark of entrepreneurship among other women in her village. Her day goes in generously sharing her knowledge, emphasising the importance of digital literacy, safeguarding personal information, and reporting fraudulent activities to the authorities.
With the seeds of community growth, her community centre has reached out to the nearby five villages with a tech upgrade from a Mahila Money loan.
Looking ahead, Poonam envisions establishing a shop on the main road to enhance discoverability and ensure her children receive a quality education. Her story is lighting the way for countless others to follow their #JiyoApneDumPe dreams, and create lasting change in their communities.
If you are a #JiyoApneDumPe woman entrepreneur who wants to take your business to new heights and needs working capital and entrepreneurship resources, get in touch with the Mahila Money team today.
Please enter your email address