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Meena looked at that dress on the hanger with disdain. She so badly wished to wear it to her office too. She and her sister had decided to get similar dresses. Her sister, who worked in a corporate firm wore it coolly, and put on even a little make-up. Not much, but mascara, lipstick and kajal. Meena stared at her blankly.
Her sister asked, “Di, why are you not wearing it? You were so excited while we purchased it yesterday!”
Meena didn’t know what to reply. Her firm was of a different kind. The women folk in her firm only wore salwar-kameez or saris. She had already been mocked at several times for being a bit rebellious. She didn’t wish to stand out for her dress. She replied, “I wanted to wear it when we are going out to dine together!”
After her sister left, she thought of her office life. When she had to go on field visits, she wore jeans with loose shirts. Later, she wore only salwar-kameez with a proper chunni. She had never put on lipstick or kajal or mascara. She wondered why?
Was she also a victim of “What will others say?” Where was her choice? Why this unsaid rule was affecting her so much? Her firm, having a ratio of 95% men to 5% female had an uncanny atmosphere. Was it affecting her?
That day, she decided to finally break the unsaid rules. She not only put on the new dress, but also the mascara, kajal and lipstick and hopped on the bus to her office.
Several people asked her, “Is it your birthday?” When she let the question go by simply smiling, someone asked, “Is it your wedding anniversary?”
Finally, angered, she blurted out, “What I wear is my choice, alright? If there’s a rule, please show me. Let it be passed by the Board of Directors. Otherwise, let me wear what I want!”
People looked at her silently and then, went away. No one ever asked her that question again.
She was finally happy to be able to wear what she wanted!
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The genre of film has become inseparable from the life of an ordinary human being. The world of films endows one with a world of varied shades in shards. Some flicks don’t leave us even after we leave the platforms of celluloid miracles. Some haunt us, some grip us, some move us, some exemplify us and some make us ponder over the leitmotifs for long. It does not matter whether the film has hit the box office or whether it has been nominated for awards but the quality and the timelessness of the theme do matter!
I came across one such movie quite recently on the platform of Netflix. My husband felt it was a must-watch one for me. Without hesitation, I embarked on the cinematic journey of Three of Us carving out a moment of respite from the mundane chaos of everyday life.
“Memory is the diary we all carry about with us”, says the renowned writer Oscar Wilde. What happens if our memory betrays us? What happens if daily routine becomes vague and usual happenings pass out of mind? We tend to take a break from the lunacies and absurdities of mundane life. Avinash Arun takes us on one such journey through the narrow crossroads and by lanes of childhood memories.
The movie Three of Us screened at the recent IFFI unravels the labyrinth of human emotions blurring in the shards of memories. Shailaja Patankar played flawlessly by Shefali Shah takes us to the world of a woman diagnosed with dementia and the way she tries hard to fit into the daily rhythms.
Shailaja is in the initial phase of early onset dementia. She comes out of the fettters of her job in the family court and sets her mind free to roam around in her childhood fantasies. Her husband Dipankar, an insurance agent, joins her to fulfill her cherished desire to gather her repertoire of childhood images. When memories begin withering, when the humdrum of daily life despises you for your inability to remember things, it’s better to try once to feel some solace to overcome this catastrophe.
Shailaja’s journey to the vllage of Vengurla along with her husband turns out to be the real journey to find her origin (Udgam). The village brings her to life, comfy with the shades of humans and the surroundings. She revisits her eighth standard classroom with her friends whom she meets after twenty-eight long years. The mogambo and daga of childhood come afresh in her memories. The bonding and childhood friendship make us feel that they are still close no matter how different and distant they are geographically.
She comes across her childhood incomplete love, Pradeep Kamat who is a bank manager by now. He becomes a companion to the ‘wonderful strange’ plans of Shailaja and Dipankar. Pradeep’s wife Sarika also supports him in fulfilling the wish of his childhood friend who has inspired him scribble a poem after eons, about origins – Udgam. Shailaja is in search of her origin and trying to fix the withered pages of her life in the village that slowly unfurls the dark stories of her family and sister.
It’s commendable how the wife and husband pairs of the film support each other. Seeing the happiness and attachment of Shailaja with her childhood land and Pradeep, Dipankar asks her, “Were you this happy with me? She retorts “When we were sad last time?” The chemistry and the relationship they nurture make one sense of the companionship and the possibility of bestowing a new ending to her life.
Shailaja is known and shown to us as two different personas in the background of a city and a village. She mixes easily and talks curiously with her childhood friends, she dances, she plays with kids, and she goes to the good old home where memories good and dark lie afresh. She tries to connect herself to the past and get rid of the dark stories that have clouded her for a long. Her husband gives her enough space to mingle with all her friends, especially Pradeep.
There is a scene in which she tries to free the memory of her phone so that she can save enough photographs. Freeing of space is also trying to free her from the space of unheard stories lying hidden in her mind’s storage cloud. In the scene where the English teacher is introduced, she says a photograph is the drawing of light. The teacher’s husband who was a photographer is no more although he remains alive in the presence of the images captured. He is not seen in most of the pics but his drawing of light demarcates the presence of glorious rays and the apprehensions of the future.
The movie concludes with her last wish to have a ride on the Ferris wheel before they leave Vengurla. Pradeep gives her company and together they try to unravel the stories lying in their childhood recesses. Shailaja’s fast-fading memory will soon prevent her from recognizing her son studying at IIT. The bold woman in her is experiencing and accepting everything with a happy and smiling face. It makes the audience feel the cycle of life must go on like the movement of the Ferris wheel. It can be interesting, horrifying, thrilling, and tiring. Still, one has to accept thinking of it as part and parcel of life.
Three of Us can be seen in all of us; the bygone past, the troubling present, and the uncertainty of the future in any human being’s life. The child, wife, mother, and working woman images of Shailaja make one realize it’s time for her final photograph. Let that final drawing of light cherish her soul forever. The alchemy of time unravels a brilliant connection with the bygone days, people, and things around her. The melange of emotions veritable in a human’s life makes this film special and worth watching.
Avinash and crew have done a remarkable job in drawing lights across the varied frames with the symphony of rhythms reverberating the shades of life in its wish to recollect and reconnect. “Time and memory are true artists, they remold nearer to the heart’s desire”. The dictum proves true in the alchemy of Shailaja’s time frame.
A movie worth watching to find a room of one’s own always and in all ways!
Great news! More and more women are going to college in India, and a recent report by the All India Survey on Higher Education (AISHE) shows a 32% increase since 2014-15. This is even better than the overall increase in students, which is 26.5%. The report tells us that 2.07 crore women enrolled in higher education in 2021-22, which is a big increase from 1.57 crore in 2014-15.
What’s even cooler is that out of the total increase in students (91 lakh) since 2014-15, 55% are women. This means that more women are joining colleges compared to men. It’s a big step towards giving equal chances to everyone.
The report also shares some interesting stuff about what subjects women are choosing. In Arts, there are 1.13 crore students, with 51% being women. In Science, out of 49.18 lakh students, 50.8% are women, and in Commerce, out of 44.08 lakh students, 47.2% are women. This tells us that women are exploring various subjects and not sticking to just one type.
The report also mentions that more women are going for postgraduate and PhD studies, which is fantastic. In subjects like M.A., M.Sc., M.Com., and Education, there are more women than men. This shows that women are not just stopping after college; they want to learn more!
But here’s a challenge – in technical and engineering courses, only 29.1% are women. It’s like not many girls are choosing these fields. We need to encourage more girls to explore these areas too!
Sonal Kapoor, from Protsahan India Foundation, says it’s great that more girls are going to college, but the real success is when this education helps them get good jobs and be independent. So, while we celebrate the good news, we also need to make sure that women get equal chances in all fields.
In simple words, more girls are going to college, which is awesome! But we need to make sure they get equal chances in every subject, especially in technical stuff. Let’s keep cheering for more opportunities for everyone!
In a recent look at India’s economy, it’s clear that more women in rural areas are working, thanks to two important programs. The Department of Economic Affairs noticed a big increase in the number of women working in rural places. This went from 24.6% in 2017-18 to a high 41.5% in 2022-23. Similar improvements were seen in cities, going from 20.4% to 25.4%.
The report didn’t fully explain why this happened, but those working closely with rural development have an answer. The Deendayal Antyodaya Yojana National Rural Livelihood Mission (DAY-NRLM) and the Mahatma Gandhi National Rural Employment Guarantee Scheme (MGNREGS) have played a huge part in this positive change.
The DAY-NRLM has grown a lot since 2014, reaching 9.96 crore women across the country. Women’s groups under DAY-NRLM received significant financial support, and the projects have been successful in reducing poverty.
The MGNREGS has been creating jobs too, generating over 260 crore work days every year, with more than half going to women. Projects like building animal sheds and farm ponds have increased incomes. The Pradhan Mantri Gramin Awas Yojana has also helped women get more work.
Realizing that women in agriculture were not getting enough credit, the DAY-NRLM started a program called Mahila Kisan Sashaktikaran Pariyojana in 2011. This, along with the Start-Up Village Entrepreneurship Programme, has made a big difference in improving incomes for many people.
Studies show that these programs are working. Household incomes have gone up by almost 20%, and groups formed under these programs are doing well even after 6-8 years. These programs not only help financially but also build strong communities. Women’s groups, working with local leaders, are making a positive impact.
Looking at success stories, it’s clear that DAY-NRLM and MGNREGS are not just increasing the number of working women; they are making rural India better and more prosperous for everyone.
As the whispers of the upcoming national budget stir through the bazaars and the boardrooms alike, I find myself, like many Indian women, in a state of eager, yet cautious anticipation.
Tomorrow, on February 1, our Finance Minister Nirmala Sitharaman will unveil the blueprint that promises to navigate our economy through the year. The Union Budget is a mirror for us that reflects how we are perceived by our lawmakers, and more significantly, it signifies the value accorded to our roles, rights, and progress in society.
As a woman in the twenty-first century, I have many questions about what my country plans for me. Will there be more schemes that empower women financially? Will there be stricter laws and better implementation to safeguard us against gender-based crimes? What about healthcare facilities specific to our needs?
While we wait for the budget announcement, let’s take a look at some of the expectations and possibilities that lie ahead for women in India.
Key Highlights:
One of the most significant concerns for women in India is financial independence and stability. The past few years have seen the introduction of various schemes and policies aimed at empowering women, such as Beti Bachao Beti Padhao, Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana, and MUDRA loans.
However, critics argue that these schemes are mere tokenism and inadequate in addressing the real issues faced by women. In Budget 2024, we hope to see a more comprehensive approach towards women’s financial empowerment.
This could include improved access to credit and resources for entrepreneurship, better implementation of equal pay laws, and incentives for companies promoting gender diversity in the workplace.
In light of the concerns regarding crimes against women in India, as reflected by the alarming statistics from various sources, it is clear that safety and legal reforms are critical areas of focus.
The data indicates that in 2022, over 445,000 crimes against women were registered in the country, which equates to one crime every 51 minutes. With Delhi registering the highest rate at 144.4 crimes per million, this figure starkly surpasses the national average.
Another study reveals that 26% of approximately 10,000 surveyed women reported experiencing physical violence by their spouses. This highlights the urgency for comprehensive care strategies that address the multifaceted nature of domestic violence.
Given these statistics, expectations from Budget 2024 should indeed be centered around stringent legal reforms, enhanced safety measures, and more efficient support systems for women. The allocation of resources for the implementation of stricter laws and faster justice delivery systems not only deters crime but also provides much-needed support to the victims. Empowering women’s helplines, crisis centers, and legal aid services through adequate funding is paramount for offering immediate assistance.
Additionally, the anticipated improvements in training for police and judiciary to handle gender-based crimes with due seriousness and empathy are critical. These measures, alongside investments in public infrastructure to improve safety—such as well-lit streets, reliable public transportation, and effective surveillance mechanisms—are vital steps to combat the high rates of crimes against women in India and to enhance their safety in both private and public spaces.
India prides itself on being one of the largest democracies in the world. However, when it comes to representation of women in decision-making roles, our country is lagging.
According to a report by the Inter-Parliamentary Union, India ranks 149th out of 193 countries in terms of women’s representation in the national legislature. The current Lok Sabha has only 14% female representation, which is a little better than the Rajya Sabha which stands at 11%.
We hope that Budget 2024 will allocate funds to encourage more women to participate in politics and provide support for their candidature. This would not only lead to better decision-making but also pave the way for a more equal society.
Women’s health is another area where targeted policies and funds could make a significant impact. Specific expectations from the budget include increased funding for reproductive healthcare services and awareness programs.
The pandemic has highlighted the importance of mental health, and there’s hope that this will translate into better access to mental health services for women, addressing issues such as postpartum depression and anxiety.
Nutrition programs targeting women and girls are equally crucial, especially in the light of reports about high rates of anemia and malnutrition among Indian women. Budget 2024 could enhance existing initiatives or introduce new schemes aimed at improving the nutritional status of women and young girls.
Tax exemptions for healthcare expenses, especially for single women and widows, is another expectation that could significantly ease financial burdens on families with limited resources.
Education is a powerful tool for empowering women, and there is hope that the government will continue to invest in initiatives that improve access to quality education for girls. While schemes like Beti Bachao Beti Padhao have made strides in increasing enrollment numbers, retention and quality remain challenges.
Budget 2024 could potentially introduce scholarships and incentive programs aimed specifically at girls pursuing higher education, especially in STEM fields where female representation is traditionally low. Moreover, upskilling and vocational training for women enable them to compete in the job market and contribute more effectively to the economy.
In line with the focus on education and skill development, it is essential for Budget 2024 to also include measures that promote digital literacy among women. As the world increasingly moves toward a digital economy, the ability to navigate the internet, use digital tools, and understand cyber security is no longer optional but critical. Special programs to provide digital training to women, especially in rural areas, could close the technology gap and open up new opportunities for entrepreneurship and employment.
Moreover, ensuring that digital resources are accessible to women with disabilities must be a priority, with investments in adaptive technologies and inclusive online content. The expansion of internet connectivity in remote areas would complement these efforts by ensuring that women everywhere have the opportunity to access global information and resources.
The government’s commitment to social welfare programs that benefit women, such as maternity benefits, old age pensions, and insurance schemes, is particularly important. The inclusion of single mothers, widows, and women with disabilities within these programs ensures that the safety net is wide enough to catch those who are most vulnerable.
Additionally, there’s an expectation for increased funds for childcare and elderly care services, providing relief to women who often shoulder the burden of caregiving responsibilities.
While the actual allocations and reforms will only be known once the budget is officially presented, it is clear that Indian women have specific expectations for Budget 2024. These include real steps towards financial empowerment, greater representation, safety and legal reforms, healthcare and wellbeing, education and skill development, and robust social welfare programs.
It is time for the government to acknowledge and address these concerns, making sure that women’s voices are heard and their needs are met. Let us hope that Budget 2024 brings about positive changes in the lives of Indian women.
What do you hope to see in the upcoming budget for women? Share your thoughts and expectations in the comments below.
Image source: Hindustan Times
It’s the year 2024 and Indian women still have to deal with a lot of period poverty. Reports say that in only 14 Indian states, 9 out of 10 women have access to hygienic methods of menstrual hygiene management (MHM).
Far away in a small village a girl is still embarrassed for getting her first period. There is no education about periods, schools and other places do not have clean toilets, forget access to sanitary products.
In fact, schools in many countries lack proper hygiene management, they don’t have sanitary napkins stocked and mostly lack proper menstrual education. Parents don’t allow their girl child to have access to proper menstrual products, neither they help them learn the right ways of maintaining their sexual health. Who is to be blamed?
Period poverty is a global issue that has been overlooked often. A healthy woman symbolises a healthy house inturn a healthy society. A woman is usually denied of her rights in the name of customs and traditions when it comes to menstrual hygiene and this is now become a concern to the entire world. We also had a recent debate on whether a woman should get ‘Period Leaves’ or not. I feel every women should be given a choice to take care of her health and put herself first before anything else.
Menstruation is considered as the onset of puberty in girls, which means it comes with its own set of rules, traditions, restrictions, isolation and a list of expectations from the girls. Some of the changes include but not limited to – restrictions on expressing themselves, going to school, moving around in and outside the house, touching certain things and the freedom of doing whatever they want to has developed certain consequences on the mindset of women.
Menstruation is still considered as a taboo in several parts of the world, India being on the top of the list. Although there are certain communities that even celebrate this as a huge event but situation of a women’s health is still a concern. The strange part is that even today mother’s are reluctant to talk about this with their daughters openly. They hesitate to tell them and fail in educating them.
As described by UNFPA in their article, Period poverty describes the struggle many low-income women and girls face while trying to afford menstrual products. The term also refers to the increased economic vulnerability women and girls face due the financial burden posed by menstrual supplies. These include not only menstrual pads and tampons, but also related costs such as pain medication and underwear.
A study reveals that across the globe over 500 million people/women who menstruate lack access to menstrual hygiene products or associated facilities. Women go through a lot, it’s not just about the physical changes they undergo during menstruation but the emotional trauma, the stigma, the lacks of education makes them so confused and vulnerable at the same time.
In many villages across India where the sanitary napkins have been newly introduced the women here don’t know how to dispose them and that’s why the girls and women in these villages are scared of using them.
The sanitary napkins prices have considerably increased in the past years and several women prefer not buying them because of the increases cost and use cloth pads instead which causes hygiene issues, urinary tract infections and other reproductive tract infections.
In many household as the purchasing power lies in the hands of men, women hesitate to ask money for buying pads and hence manage on their own inturn risking their sexual health and neglecting the menstrual hygiene methods.
Although there is change in our country towards Period/ Menstrual Education but it is at very slow pace. There are children who still miss school during periods as they don’t have proper toilets in school, they don’t use sanitary pads or even when their mothers are menstruating they need to stay back as they can’t enter kitchen or do any household chores as per some tradition.
Education is the key, educating the female in the house will help everyone to understand the importance of female hygiene, menstruation cycle, using sanitary napkins, using right undergarments and the right way of dealing with periods as a natural phenomenon. Like Humjoli Foundation in Maharashtra have started distributing Menstrual kits in villages that include undergarments, sanitary pads, disposable bags and soap. They keep on educating females about menstrual hygiene and how to use sanitary napkins.
This education about periods shouldn’t be limited to females but should also be taught to men in the society so as to make them aware how a women undergoes pain every month and what all she requires during those days to keep herself healthy. This will bring an awareness and will also create a openness for women to speak about it more and share their pain within the society.
India being a country of varied customs and culture, we need to first eradicate the taboo and connectivity of periods with it. Health, hygiene is more necessary than following some tradition that creates a barrier for women to access basic knowledge around it..
Sustainable Menstruation activities have to be focused and discharged among women so that they don’t get scared or hesitate using them. Like using of cloth pads, Menstrual cups that can be reused several time, They can be made easily available and are safe for the environment.
The policies designed under Menstrual Hygiene Management should be same for everyone from a adolescent girl to elderly woman. Access to sanitary products and hygiene products should be similar across age groups.
Government should encourage policies that offer subsidised rates on sanitary pads, Menstrual cups or period pain tablets etc. Polices like making sanitary napkins more readily available in schools, public toilets etc. Most importantly providing safe, hygienic washroom for women in public places should be on top of the list.
There are several NGOs and public foundations that have come forward and have donated sanitary napkins and other hygiene products in villages and rural areas but we need more people to come forward and educate everyone about Period and Period Poverty, then only the girl, the women in our country will grow healthy and happy. Every girl or women born, has the right to lead a safe and healthy life, giving them access to basic healthcare is the least we can all do.
Image source: YouTube/ screenshot from the documentary Period. End of a Sentence
Grandparents are the salt of the earth! OK, they are the cookies of the earth!
But I am luckier still… I get to be a Grand Fur-Mom… like a Grand hoo-Mom!
It was a lovely celebration when my Dear son got married to my favourite Daughter-in-law, a few years back. We are Bengalis, my daughter-in-law’s family traces its roots down to the southern tip of the country, right to God’s own country. The ceremony we had was from neither cultures, to cut through any kind of chaotic arrangements, mantra chantings or serving fish at odd muhurats. It was a solemn affair, as the beautiful bride glided in, on the arm of her father and the groom was escorted by his parents, aunts and sibling. The whole heritage club was steeped in peaceful silence till the emcee set the proceedings in motion, rings were exchanged, garlands exchanged and a dreamy gorgeous cake was cut to popping of champagne!
The claps, whoops, good wishes and blessings filled the hall and the beautiful valley!
Joy filled us all! Gratitude to the Almighty!
Lets move forward: Our son had rescued a puppy from the streets of Bangalore and nursed it from a maggot ridden, scrawny skeleton of a puppy to a robust and beautiful golden Indie. Our daughter-in-law was equally in love with the fur baby, christened Biscuit!
Our calls would end up about Biscuit, her latest tricks and achievements.
The couple moved around the world and so did their fur baby. In fact we celebrated anniversaries and birthdays on zoom, a trend set in during the Covid, lockdown times. But it is a trend which is here to stay and is such a wonderful way to connect families scattered across the face of the earth. To watch Biscuit respond to our whistles and calls of affection was fulfilling as was watching our children -watching their fur baby, glowing with pride like any other parent.
Our feed was filled with candid pictures of Biscuit and her achievements. The friends she made and the ones she abhorred was the centre of most conversations. Till I caught myself narrating the stories forward to my friends, when they talked about their grand children.
There is no doubt that Biscuit is a bundle of joy and unconditional love, so much so that now they have added another fur baby to the family. This one is a bundle of mischief, steeped in boundless energy. So now we have two fur babies to grand parent. No complaints! Its joy doubled!
All the boots chomped and destroyed are at my son’s house. All the plants chomped up are my daughter-in-law’s. We have only love to give and look into melting eyes over Zoom!
Trigger Warning: This deals with graphic description of murder and may be triggering.
Recently, a 19-year-old girl was killed by her parents in south Tamil Nadu.
There could be only one reason. Honour Killing!
The victim, Ishwarya, had married a co-worker at her place of employment, a guy from a lower caste. The couple had eloped after marriage.
The girl’s parents played the usual trick to keep the law on their side. They had registered a missing person complaint with the police. With immediate action taken, the girl was traced. She was brought back to her village.
At this point, the Inspector had sent away the girl with her parents. Later he was suspended for negligence in the investigation because it was not a missing person angle alone. There was a deeper conspiracy woven.
That night her parents tortured the poor girl and she succumbed to the injuries. To hide this fact, the parents along with their relative’s help, hung her from the ceiling to make it look like a suicide attempt. Also to destroy evidence against them they had cremated her body very soon.
Her husband felt suspicious hearing the death news of his newlywed wife and filed a complaint against her parents. The investigation is on.
This is not the first nor is it going to be the last death of a woman under the name of honour killing.
Also, it is not that women are not aware of such incidents that happen around them. Incidents like these take up major space in social media and are circulated quite fast and to each nook and corner of the country.
Because women believe in their parents, if they come to get them back home. “If I did something like this, my parents would never behave this way. They are not cruel and violent. They will be angry with me, but eventually understand me and finally support me one fine day.”
So parents, if you belong to this category then please let your daughter know that a ferocious lion is sleeping inside you and warn her it might wake up and turn murderous if ever she tries to do something like this. At the least, it might save a life.
The hope to win over society. Love is not just a four-letter word. It is the trust in which she is bonded to him. She feels she can fight anyone against her wish be it even her parents. Whether love is blind or not, it does not inquire about the caste first. As there are always unwritten rules in love, maybe this should be considered as a written official rule before getting committed to the relationship.
Men, please understand she holds this battle for you, and do remember to have your stand beside her, whatever obstacle or struggle comes your way. It is not easy for her to fight her parents with whom she had spent her life all these long years before she became yours.
The law in our country is quite strong and there are special women-centric teams in the police force. This needs to be utilized as the safety of women must always be considered the priority. When there is danger in any way, women need to ensure they reach out for help in the law. Guidance from the police can help them make their decisions better – though in many cases the police have sided with the perpetrators.
When will all this end?
Image source: by klebercordeiro from Getty Images Free for Canva Pro
Dear Mumma (that’s what I lovingly address my daughter as),
You made a very witty remark just the other day. I clearly remember while I was petting you and lovingly claiming that both of our noses look similar I was immediately thwarted by your disapproval. I was quite intrigued and hence asked you, “Don’t you wish to be like Maa or Papa when you grow up?” Pat came your reply, “I want to be like myself and not like anyone else!”
I would not lie, I was quite impressed with your prudence at such a tender age! And why not? Why do you need to become like us? The fact that we eventually become like our fathers or mothers is now passé!
There are times when I cannot even break an egg perfectly for an omelette or I find it overtly difficult to wake up early besides messing up other things as well.
Now these might sound hilarious /stupid /insignificant however aren’t these deemed as the real qualities of a woman? Isn’t she supposed to churn out the “perfect rotis” for her family? Isn’t she supposed to remain the most ideal individual despite being surrounded by the most non-idealistic circumstances? The answers to both these questions and many like these would be unfortunately “yes”. Thus it stands imperative that you surely do not take after me.
Also, when you refuse to grow up to be like me I agree with you whole heartedly. I really wish you to be more assertive, calmer and would want you to develop the attitude of taking life with a pinch of salt at times. I really wish you to grow up to say “no” to people or situation that make you uncomfortable or cause inconvenience to you. I really foresee you having more accomplishments than regrets as you age.
I really wish you do not have to have greater trade offs in a bid to fulfill your aspirations. I honestly do not see you as a mere agent of fulfilling my unfinished dreams and in the process compromise your own!
Mumma, your remark also makes me look forward to a life that’s less more complicated than what I have been through. Mostly these have resulted from my inability to prioritize myself over others. I have always been too engrossed to make others around me happy and in the process found nothing for myself. So if you think you would do otherwise I am completely game!
Another reason that would make me immensely happy is if you do not become like me you wouldn’t have to hear, “it’s in the genes!” Who says that? And why should even someone say that?
More often than not my sister’s and my errors are/were reprimanded as being “genetically derived” from my mother! And this is not something I would want you to hear from anyone.
Thus if you refuse to take after me I would be the happiest mother who would want you to carve out a path that’s truly not been travelled upon before!
With love Maa
Image source: by shylendrahoode from Getty Images Signature Free for Canva Pro
After an extended hiatus, I finally caught up with Jagriti today, and there was an air of palpable distress and complexity around her. Inquisitively, I probed, “What’s been going on?”
To my surprise, Jagriti unfolded a narrative of navigating through the intricate phases of life as she gracefully ages, revealing that her mind has become a reservoir of memories from bygone years.
Jagriti, from an early age, bore the weight of responsibilities that swept over her like a relentless tide. As the eldest daughter in the family, she became a pillar of strength for her siblings after her mother. Excelling academically, Jagriti, however, lacked the compass of guidance. Undeterred, she completed her MBA and set sail for Delhi to chart the course of her life. Just as she secured a job, life threw a curveball — her father suffered a stroke. A man with whom Jagriti shared an unspoken, profound connection, her father’s health became a concern. Despite her elder brother’s presence, he displayed a remarkable lack of interest in family responsibilities. He had his own set of challenges, consistently unloading them onto Jagriti. This was the juncture when her younger sisters were pursuing their education, and Jagriti, despite being younger, assumed the role of their caretaker. Jagriti devoted a staggering 15 years to her father’s service and family responsibilities, and in the midst of it, she got married and welcomed a son. Her younger sisters found their footing, with the youngest emerging as an engineer.
Amidst these transformative events, Jagriti discovered a supportive life partner who stood unwaveringly by her side at every twist and turn. Yet, despite this, she found herself ensnared. With the passage of time, Jagriti had a profound realization — while she had been the problem-solver for everyone else, she had unintentionally been left behind in the race to advance her own life. The younger sisters, having gracefully settled into their family’s post-marriage, felt they had surged ahead, struggling to grasp the intricacies of Jagriti’s unique journey.
Despite dedicating her life to fulfilling the needs of her family, she grappled with a growing sense of remorse, yearning for love and support at this crucial juncture. After weathering the tempests of life, Jagriti’s family finally found stability, but by then, each family member had become engrossed in their individual worlds.
This story unfolds as a reminder that if there are elder brothers and sisters in your family who, through their struggles, have paved the way for your journey, don’t let them fade into the background. When you find yourself capable, extend your support and help them flourish in the unique garden of their lives.
The message is clear: Embrace the unseen struggles and be there for our unsung hero.
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