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As India gears up to celebrate its 75th Republic Day, there is something extraordinary about this year’s parade. The morning of January 26th, 2024, will not just be a celebration of our constitution. It will also be a testament to the strength and resilience of Indian women. Yes, the spotlight this year is on ‘Nari Shakti‘
As a young girl, I remember sitting cross-legged on the cold floor of our living room, eyes glued to the television screen. My father would explain the significance of each float and performance, instilling in me a sense of respect and admiration for our country. And as I grew older, my fascination with the Republic Day parade only intensified.
Yet, something always seemed amiss – the limited presence of women in these parades. As a young girl with big dreams, I yearned to see more women at the forefront. And this year, my wish has finally come true. The 75th Republic Day Parade will mark a historic moment. It’s a moment where women are not just participants, but the stars of the show.
The 75th Republic Day Parade is set to be a landmark event in Indian history. For the first time, an all-women tri-services contingent will lead the parade. These brave women hail from various divisions of our armed forces – the Army, Navy, and Air Force. Their march down Kartavya Path will be a sight to behold. It’s a symbol of the progress we’ve made towards gender equality.
In another significant first, the parade will be heralded by over 100 women artists playing traditional Indian musical instruments. The air will resound with the melodious tunes of Sankh, Naadswaram, Nagada, and more, marking the commencement of the parade. It’s a fitting tribute to the rich cultural heritage of our nation and the women who keep these traditions alive.
As the parade unfolds, spectators will be treated to an exhilarating Fly-past by women pilots, representing ‘Nari Shakti’ in all its glory. Their daring feats in the sky are symbolic of the heights that Indian women are capable of reaching when given the opportunity.
Further highlighting the theme of ‘Nari Shakti‘, the contingents of the Central Armed Police Forces (CAPF) will also consist of only women personnel. These brave women stand as pillars of courage and dedication, proving that service to the nation is not bound by gender.
But it’s not just the women in uniform who are being celebrated this year. The parade will also feature the unsung women heroes of India.
In a remarkable tribute, the 75th Republic Day Parade is set to honour the women workers of Swachh Bharat Abhiyan, the backbone of the nation’s cleanliness drive. Their tireless efforts and commitment towards making India clean and green are truly extraordinary. It’s high time that their contributions were recognized on such a grand stage.
The parade isn’t stopping there, however. It’s also shining a spotlight on the women of the Electronic Manufacturing sectors and the Central Vista Project. These trailblazing women have been instrumental in driving India’s technological and infrastructural advancements. Often, they work behind the scenes to power our nation’s growth.
Finally, the parade will also salute the incredible women Space Scientists of ISRO. These brilliant minds have been breaking barriers and pushing the boundaries of India’s space exploration journey. Their dedication and groundbreaking work have put India on the global map of space research and exploration. These women are true heroes of our country.
As I write this, I can’t help but feel a sense of pride and anticipation. The 75th Republic Day parade is much more than a ceremonial spectacle. It is a reflection of our evolving society, a society that is gradually acknowledging and celebrating the strength of its women.
This paradigm shift in the narrative of the Republic Day parade is a beacon of hope for countless young girls across the nation. They will watch with wide-eyed wonder as women take centre stage, their hearts swelling with pride and their minds daring to dream big.
Celebrating the 75th year of our constitution, we also salute the indomitable spirit of Indian women – their resilience, courage, and barrier-breaking prowess. This year’s parade is a tribute to ‘Nari Shakti‘, acknowledging women’s strides in various fields, promising a future of boundless opportunities.
Here’s to the women at the forefront, and here’s to a brighter, more equal future.
Happy Republic Day!
Source: Press Information Bureau
Image Source: NDTV
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While I’m yet to watch all the episodes of Koffee with Karan Season 8, there was no way I was going to miss the episode featuring Zeenat Aman and Neetu Kapoor.
Both the actors have been strong household favourites. Zeenat Aman is my father’s favourite actress in that era. I remember his face swelled with pride when I danced to “Dum Daro Dum” in my first company’s annual cultural event. He’d watch my dance video on repeat and share it with his friends. And my mother bore a strong resemblance to Neetu Kapoor in her heydays.
I found both of them, along with Parveen Babi, an enigma. They had a distinct Westernised image, a stark contrast to most of the sanskaari heroines back then. A secret confession: It’s why I preferred the vamps back then, as I found them more interesting, relatable and human. The likes of Helen, Aruna Irani, Kalpana Iyer, Bindu seemed to have a ball of a time on-screen as opposed to the perennially ‘damsels in distress’ mainstream leads.
Zeenat Aman, Parveen Babi and Neetu Kapoor changed the face of the Bollywood heroine forever and blurred the lines between the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ girl. They blended what the vamps did, from wearing short clothes to dancing with free abandon and keeping the goodness of the mainstream heroine intact.
There’s nothing like a good dose of nostalgia and this episode filled in that sweet craving.
I found it intriguing how, despite the starkly different life choices Neetu Kapoor and Zeenat Aman made, they both bore the bitter brunt of patriarchy.
While Neetu Singh married into privilege and held forth the institution of marriage strongly despite alcoholism, infidelity, and even domestic violence, Zeenat Aman made some terrible choices when it came to men, only to grow wiser and stronger with each experience.
Of course, Karan Johar stayed away from all the unpleasant questions that could trigger his guests. But their veiled answers revealed glimpses of their pain.
Neetu Singh started as a child artist before bidding adieu to movies at 21 years when she got married. It was a Kapoor Khandaan diktat that the women in their family will not work in the movies. Neetu has also maintained though it was her choice to quit movies. Karisma Kapoor and Kareena Kapoor broke the norm and continue to work to this day.
She casually mentioned about being stuck with a strict mother in the early part of her life. And then, with a strict husband, who was also non-expressive and held on to his male ego and pride until the last year of his life. As for Neetu Kapoor, she did her part as a dutiful daughter, loyal wife, and doting mother.
Having worked in hundreds of movies in her career, Neetu Kapoor rued, “What career did I have?” Did it speak of her remorse at leaving the industry so early?
It’s no surprise to see her in a happy place today as she’s all over the place in TV shows and movies. I realised how Neetu Kapoor is actually a free-spirited person whose wings were clipped until now. It was good to see her finally breathe and live life with no cares. Better late than never!
She also said she wasn’t qualified to give any marriage advice to Ranbir and Alia, which I felt was sensible. Every marriage has different dynamics, and it’s for the partners to figure it out unless they ask for help.
We often talk about pretty privilege and how some women get more work because of it. While it might seem like an advantage at the outset, the lives of Zeenat Aman and Parveen Babi prove otherwise.
While there was no mention of Zeenat Aman’s relationships at all (and understandably so), she spoke about being raised by a strict mother too. I wouldn’t exactly fully blame the mothers for being so protective, knowing how the entertainment industry is filled with the big, bad wolves.
I also remember an earlier interview of Zeenat Aman where she wished she would have listened to her mother, especially with her relationships.
When Zeenat Aman spoke with love, fondness and sadness for her peer, late Parveen Babi, I couldn’t help but think how Zeenat Aman came out stronger and is today living her best life.
With her string of abusive relationships from Sanjay Khan to Mazhar Khan that also damaged her face and health, Zeenat Aman stands as a powerful testimony for all domestic violence victims. Her life story is also an example of how patriarchy exists across all spectrums of our society and no woman’s really safe.
While she might have let her heart rule her mind initially in her relationships, she learned her lessons the hard way and walked out of her abusive marriage before it was too late.
There are mostly three paths that victims go after repeated abuse. They become abusers themselves. Or they end up losing their sanity, health, and even life. Or they introspect and learn from their experiences and become wise, empathetic people who make the world a better place. We all know which path Zeenat Aman chose and how! With absolute grace, forgiveness and wisdom. Of course, for most common people, it’s an intersection of these paths given their lack of privilege in making some much-needed choices for their well-being.
Talking of ‘Pretty Curse’, good-looking women attract all kinds of men, especially narcissistic men who want them as arm candies—to boost their ego and image. If these women are young, lack the wisdom that comes from life’s experiences, they fall easy prey to abusive men. And if these men come with power and privilege, it’s like playing with fire that can burn them and extinguish their lives for good.
Also, as Zeenat Aman spoke about not being given the opportunity to explore nuanced and layered characters because of beauty stereotypes, pretty women are often dismissed as being less intelligent and superficial. This is tragic, as it serves the male gaze and is so far removed from the truth.
Social media is a double edged sword as it amplifies everything in the real world including the bad (read patriarchy, misogyny, abuse and more).
However, we’ve seen how internet and social media use has given an avenue for women to express themselves, find work, and set up businesses.
In the entertainment world, who can forget how Neena Gupta made an epic comeback seeking work via her Instagram post. She continues to set the gram ablaze with her free spirited posts and is going strong in Bollywood.
Neetu Kapoor has been active on Instagram for a while and she continues to be, giving her a fresh lease of professional life.
The latest entrant is Zeenat Aman but what took the whole country by storm was how she shattered all stereotypes. For the first time, the nation sat up and realized that here’s someone who was labelled a sex siren who thinks, reads, and articulates so well. Even Karan Johar seems still bemused when he spoke about Zeenat Aman’s Instagram presence as he went from being oily to salacious to fawning to obsequious.
Zeenat Aman’s Instagram posts speak of her writing prowess, intellect, wisdom and empathy.
I remember watching one of Parveen Babi’s last interviews before her death and being shocked, as she was not like anything that the media and movies portrayed her to be. She spoke with so much clarity, sense, and intelligence that I wondered who the hideous troublemakers were behind her distorted public persona. The same goes for Marilyn Monroe, who’s often portrayed as this melancholic, seductive bimbo when she was anything but that in real life. She was an intelligent woman who loved literature and had diverse layers to her personality. These are imaginative brush strokes painted by wicked, narcissistic men that like to control pretty women and overturn their gifted beauty and intelligence as some sort of curse.
Thankfully, we have women like Zeenat Aman who’ve surpassed patriarchal norms and horrific experiences, serving as shining examples for other women.
It was wholesome watching the two legendary superstars on the couch. There was nothing new that Neetu Kapoor offered on the show as she continues to lead an active life in the public eye.
While the focus was less on Zeenat Aman, hers was the only interesting part about this episode. From spilling the tea on how one of the Kapoor men proposed to her back in the day, much to Neetu Kapoor’s shock to giving the most classy and sassy answers, it was Zeenat Aman supremacy all along.
We know how biased Karan Johar can be, and this episode was no different. While one of the competitive rounds was biased towards Neetu Kapoor with how the questions were framed, Neetu also won the rapid fire round through an unfair audience poll.
Zeenat Aman ate the rapid fire round. Sample this –
Karan Johar: What is the one thing that Neetu has that you don’t?
Zeenat Aman: The Kapoor tag (a mighty pleased Neetu Kapoor blushes and swells in pride)
KJo: What is the one thing that you have that she doesn’t?
ZA: “I am Zeenat Aman.” (A completely shocked and numb Neetu Kapoor)
Another answer that Zeenat Aman gave I loved was how she chose Priyanka Chopra to play her in a biopic. Given PC’s ample sex-appeal, intelligence and Western worldview, I thought that was a great pick. May I also suggest Sushmita Sen because I find she shares Zeenat Aman’s classiness, honesty, intelligence, and effortless style too? Zeenat Aman chose Deepika Padukone to essay Rupa if Satyam Shivam Sundaram were to be remade. Another great pick and it shows how clued in Zeenat Aman is with today’s times.
It was also amusing watching Neetu Kapoor’s reactions as she listened intently to every word Zeenat Aman spoke. Especially her expression when Zeenam Aman spoke about raising feminist sons. Tsk, tsk! Compare this to Neetu Kapoor’s archaic thoughts on how men should not be ‘Joru ka Ghulam’ and women being of two types – Scissors and Needles. We know who Zeenat Aman is, as per Neetu’s ingenious classification.
Curiously, Neetu Kapoor sang everyone’s praises from Raha to Ranbir to even Deepika Padukone and Anushka Sharma. She mentioned how she taunted Alia Bhatt for not being too happy that the baby is saying ‘Mum-Mum’ as it means ‘food’ and not ‘Mama”. And she predicted how Raha’s first words are going to be ‘Dada’ referring to Ranbir Kapoor. Spare us, please!
On the whole, Zeenat Aman just came out more self-aware, intellectual, eloquent, classy, empathetic, and self-assured. Irrespective of the show’s format and hamper prizes, she was the clear winner for me..
Did you watch the episode and agree with this take? Tell us!
She is human, and she has a global presence. More often than not, she is referred to with a pinch of salt. I am talking about a relative who is extensively discussed in everyday life: the mother-in-law!
The repository of jokes is way too rich, and here is one. A wife complained to her husband that he always preferred his relatives over hers. Pat came the reply: “No way! I have always loved your mother-in-law more than I like mine!”
If you are thinking that the tensions involving an MIL are distinctive just in your culture, you are mistaken. It is a universal problem.
At lunch with a few ladies, I heard one of them exclaim in exasperation, “No wonder mother-in-law is an anagram of Woman Hitler! I am totally fed up with mine!” She was from Jamaica and had a lot to crib about her mother-in-law who was visiting her for a month.
It is really hard to give a concrete answer. Most of the time, social patterns and cultural conditioning lie at the root of problems. The ideas get deeply ingrained in the human psyche.
For instance, motherhood is often related to only taking care of the children. It is sometimes forgotten that a mom is also someone who needs to have her own likes, dislikes, and priorities in life. Then there are women who feel guilty about indulging in self-care because they think it is being selfish.
Similarly, with some mothers-in-law behaving horribly and inhumanely, the precedence is set. The very mention of mother-in-law strikes a feeling of fear and disdain.
We have another angle to this story. There are definitely moms-in-law who have no qualms of conscience and foolishly believe that the reins of power are in their hands, putting themselves in the position to conquer and control. Therefore they are responsible for creating a negative image for themselves. On the other hand, there are daughters-in-law who sometimes, by looking at other societal examples, walk into a family with a preconceived idea that the MIL can never be a good person.
Some share of the blame obviously goes to pop culture worldwide for being flooded with the infamous mother-in-law. There is way too much typecasting and no dearth of their drama and annoying habits in movies and shows.
We are getting a bit of a respite these days with the change in content, but the archives of the Hindi film industry, the largest in the world, are filled with wicked MILs. Who can ever forget the treacherous on-screen MIL icons from the yesteryears, Lalita Pawar, Shashikala, and Manorama?
Our television channels have also produced a large number of soaps on this recurring theme, resulting in a genre popularly called Saas-Bahu serials. By default, it is assumed that a mother-in-law is essentially the family’s bossy matriarch, and stories are spiced up by painting the mother-in-law / daughter-in-law relationship with shades of gray.
The conniving ladies far outnumber the good souls, so we beam with joy whenever the outliers emerge. Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, for instance, had the trio of Achla Sachdev, Sushma Seth, and Jaya Bacchan playing mothers-in-law with hearts of gold! It was also heartwarming to see Kamlesh Gill in Vicky Donor and Sulabha Deshpande in English Vinglish as the supportive MILs.
I came across a talk by author and motivational speaker Jesse Kaur in which she shares her personal experience with her mother-in-law. With her crisp humor, she gives a balanced and nuanced analysis of the relationship.
Kaur describes how she started off on the wrong foot with her MIL because their ways of thinking were diametrically opposite. However, she later reasoned it out and realized that her mother-in-law was not a bad person but that she was just different and believed in a set of ideas distinctive of her generation.
Kaur happily shares how she developed a strong bond with her MIL over time and how upon her demise, she felt that she had lost her mother all over again. With some fine grains of wisdom, she concludes her talk. She says that all human relationships, including one’s connection with the MIL, can flourish when three basic principles are followed:
Human relationships are complex, and the basic premise is that each person needs his or her space. It is also a matter of give and take. If adjustments and accommodations can be made without causing too much inconvenience to oneself, those steps need to be taken from both sides.
A film that is essentially a laughter riot, Monster-in-Law, starring Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda, is based on that theme. A possessive mother is up to all kinds of nasty tricks to portray her son’s fiancée in a bad light. They finally have a truce where the boundaries are decided upon for each woman to have her own right.
It is a grave mistake to jump to the conclusion that a relationship with one’s mother-in-law can never be cordial. Why single her out?
You may be on the worst of terms with a parent, sibling, or any relative, but you may bond perfectly with a friend whose personality matches with yours.
The existence of the controlling, abusive, interfering MIL cannot be ignored. Otherwise why would discussions about the domineering and duplicitous mother-in-law even take place? But are there no toxic individuals other than this relative who are equally pathetic and depraved or even worse?
It is not ONLY a mother-in law who can be manipulative, selfish, and unsympathetic. Any other person can stir a tornado to break a family apart. So it is important to nurture an open and enlightened mindset and to stop the stereotyping.
Image source: YouTube/ rasode mein kaun tha
In a world of toxic masculinity belted out with gay abandon on screen, Kaathal weaves a masterpiece of a story. It’s a tender, painful story of love, longing, and separation. It’s one of the finest takes on pain and longing that one will see on screen for a long long time.
The director, Jeo Baby, handles the story of a gay man with the maturity that is rarely seen in cinema.
Mammooty and Jyothika playing man and wife are outstanding and it’s a slow slow burn. It’s a lot of little things that make a brilliant film. Jyothika as Omana portrays elegance and grace, equally matched by Mammooty who plays Mathew, who will make you drive you to tears with his brilliant portrayal of a closeted homosexual.
This is yet another low budget gem from the creator of the brilliant The Great Indian Kitchen, and reinforced the fact that the budget does not mean anything. Story, acting, and the little things …scenes that steal your heart …
Mathew looking towards the kitchen after Omana leaves.
Omana telling Mathew “I am fighting your your love too.”
And Mathew breaking down in front of his Father at the end .. “what’s my fault?”
When Mathew goes to meet his daughter during her basketball practice … and leaves midway, it tugs at your heartstrings. It makes you want better things for him.
It helps you empathise … with homosexuals and with people in general.
And the background music is a perfect foil to this masterpiece.
Don’t miss this gem… a 10/10 from me.
First published on Movie Maniacs and Serial Killers.
Dear Precious Niece,
Hugs.
As I write to you, my thoughts return to the vibrant colors and narrow lanes of our homeland, India. I grew up under the same sky, amid rich traditions, yet often constrained by conservative beliefs about what a girl should be.
You, my girl, are growing in a land of contrasts, where ancient wisdom meets modern aspirations, where voices of change often struggle against age-old beliefs. The challenges, unspoken expectations, and silent pressures you face are like the heavy summer heat.
Remember, society’s definition of a girl’s path in India is not your only option. I broke free from these constraints, and so can you. It’s a difficult journey, but it empowers you to redefine your destiny. Phrases like “Log kya kahenge?” (What will people say?) have limited many girls’ dreams in India. The most important voice is your own. Your dreams, ambitions, and choices are yours alone.
Never neglect your education. It might be tempting to prioritize fun, friends, and leisure, but you’ll regret neglecting studies later. Education is your most powerful weapon. It’s not just about books and exams, but understanding your worth, rights, and potential. Embrace it as your guiding light.
Anu stopped studying after 6th grade, was enticed by the novelty of television. Her parents didn’t enforce education, partly due to financial constraints, though her brothers continued their studies. Her mother got a free maid in Anu. At eleven, no child prefers routine and school over fun. Anu’s choice led her to miss out on education.
At sixteen, realizing her younger brother was heading to college while she had stopped schooling, it was too late for her. She struggled to catch up academically, hindered by financial limitations and her role as the family’s maid. Her parents focused on marrying her off. Anu developed an inferiority complex and spent her days doing household chores and eventually that became her destiny. Unlike Anu, her younger sister insisted on education, learning from Anu’s experience.
Anu, now married at twenty-four, lives with regret, realizing her missed potential. Don’t repeat that.
So, never underestimate education. It is the one thing that remains with you, guiding you. It’s your golden key, unlocking worlds and giving you wings. It’s not just about academics, but about understanding life, empathy, and curiosity.
When you feel alone against the tide, remember the stories of Indian women who have broken barriers in science, arts, politics, and more. They had dreams and doubts but persevered. You are part of this legacy.
Value your heritage, society’s fabric, and your familial traditions, but never let them constrain you. Our culture, akin to a banyan tree, is deeply rooted yet ever-evolving. Embrace your role in shaping its inclusive and beautiful future. Stand against harmful customs disguised as traditions.
Remember Jaya, Malti Aunty’s daughter? Jaya, during her final year in Computer Science, found herself ensnared by the very traditions she honored, wedded off in their name. Her parents believed that her overseas groom would support her educational aspirations, paving her way into the global computer job market. Alas, this promise dissolved under the weight of his familial obligations.
Consumed by the dowry demands for his sisters and the financial burdens of his parents, the husband relegated Jaya’s ambitions to the shadows. Jaya became a silent spectator, her education and dreams slipping like sand through her fingers. Conversations about further education or career prospects were consistently thwarted by financial constraints. Visa complications in a foreign land further stifled her opportunities, leaving her aspirations unfulfilled.
One day Jaya’s husband confronted her, “Why pursue education or a job after marriage, especially when you’re already fulfilling important responsibilities and have all you need in life?”
Jaya’s story is a poignant reminder of the dangers of blindly adhering to misguided traditions. Yes, Jaya had it all, yet she yearned for independence, financial security, her own house, and the freedom to live life her way.
Dear girl, prioritize establishing a solid career before considering marriage.
Education is merely a stepping stone; the key is effectively utilizing it to advance your life, career, and achieve your dreams. Remember, it’s okay to have opinions and make your own choices—it’s your life. Anu’s experience, where she became dependent and unhappy due to poor choices, leading her family to distance themselves, should serve as a cautionary tale.
“It was Anu’s choice to not go to school,” said her parents one day. Anu’s parents never admitted to the fact that the education of their sons was more important to them, who would become their Budhape ki lathi when they got old. While reducing Anu’s role to a mere responsibility, destined to be married off.
“Ye to larki hai, paraya dhan hai, dusre ghar jana hai ek din. Blah-blah blah! Esko padha kar kya karna.” (She is a girl, what use is an education for her?) Never fall in this vicious trap, because your life is precious to you.
And Jaya! What can I say about Jaya’s life? Everyone blames Jaya for not being persistent and pursuing her career. Her parents always keep reiterating to Jaya, “We provided you with an education and supported you until your final year of graduation, even ensuring your marriage to a well-educated partner. Why then, did you not pursue your career with greater passion? Why were you unable to persuade your husband to support your career ambitions? The responsibility lies with you, not others.”
Her husband too blamed Jaya for not having a career, and said, “I’m not your father and hence not responsible for your education or job search; that’s not my role. I have my own challenges to deal with, and you never sought my help.”
My dear girl, you know what? Jaya struggled to make everyone understand her family dynamics in her in-laws house. She feared that pursuing her education would cause complaints, and lacked the courage to express herself. Unfortunately, Jaya’s critical error was marrying before securing a job. She should not have left India for a foreign country without establishing her career at home first.
So dear girl, resist the pressure of conforming to the traditional ‘Sanskari Beti’ role. Have guts. Prioritize completing your education and achieving financial independence before considering marriage. Your opinions on your life and wellbeing matter. Express your preferences boldly; your voice is crucial, now more than ever. In Indian society that often silences women, speaking up against wrongs can be daunting, but your voice is a powerful tool. When it comes to your future, whether in education or career, think of it as a blank canvas. You might face pressure to follow predefined paths, but remember, this canvas is yours to paint with your choices and dreams. Communicate with me, your family, about your aspirations. We may not grasp them immediately, but we love you and will support your pursuit of happiness and fulfillment.
You will encounter challenges that may seem overwhelming. I too felt like surrendering when I faced them. However, it’s normal to feel this way. The key is to rise each day and persist.
Throughout your journey, allies will emerge from unforeseen places. Actively seek them – friends, mentors, teachers – those who recognize and nurture your potential, individuals who support your dreams and stand with you through challenges. They form your tribe and will be your steadfast support.
In turn, be that supportive figure for others. Empowerment expands as it’s shared. Remember, asking for help is okay. It’s a misconception that we must face everything alone. Seeking assistance shows strength, not weakness.
Lastly, my dear, never underestimate the power of compassion and empathy, both towards others and yourself. Treat yourself with kindness in times of doubt and strength. As you grow, remember you’re not only pursuing your dreams but also those of generations of women in India who dared to dream big. Carry their legacy with pride and grace. In difficult moments, draw inspiration from trailblazers like the Rani of Jhansi, Kalpana Chawla, and Indra Nooyi, who have each paved the way in their fields. You are part of this remarkable legacy.
With all my heart, I believe in you. You are not alone. Together, we are the change.
With love and solidarity,
Your Aunty.
Image source: Photo by Angshu Purkait on Unsplash.
Trigger warning: This deals with rape and victim shaming and may be triggering to survivors.
The Malayalam film Neru, is a stark reminder of the shaming an assault victim experiences while seeking justice. This film is a courtroom drama that raises many pertinent points through its nuanced portrayal of a trial, and the toll it takes on the survivor and their family.
*Major spoilers alert!*
Sara, a visually-impaired sculptress, is assaulted inside her house when everyone else has gone out. There is no suspense as to who the perpetrator of the crime is. It is revealed early on that this heinous act was pre-planned and committed by the spoilt son of an affluent industrialist. The Herculean task is to bring the culprit to book, given that the victim cannot see, and there are no other witnesses.
Mohanlal, a disgraced lawyer, takes up this case to argue on Sara’s behalf. Blunt and scandalous questions are asked to the victim by a ruthless and relentless defense counsel. They stoop to the lowest levels possible to discredit Sara and her family, even going as far as fabricating evidence.
While the premise is not new, and the plot predictable, the film creates a conversation on a survivor’s right to dignity. Kudos to Siddique and the supporting cast; the defense comes across as truly despicable!
Sara is a force to be reckoned with. She refuses to wallow in self-pity, accept a settlement, or back off. She insists that she will not stop until she gets justice, irrespective of how emotionally draining or exhausting it may be.
Some of the issues highlighted are:
The line of cross-questioning accuses Sara and makes it sound like it was her fault. The defense provokes her and wonders if she was trying to honey-trap a wealthy man.
Victims often face societal judgment and humiliation.
What was she wearing? Did she ask for it? Was she in a relationship prior to this? If she has been intimate with him before, what is the big deal now?
Victims also face questions about their past relationships, or even face accusations of being promiscuous.
Sara cannot see, but she is determined to identify her perpetrator. During the crime, she touches his face so that she can later recreate it as a sculpture. This point is raised repeatedly by the defense.
Why did she caress her perpetrator’s face? Was she enjoying herself?
Mohanlal argues that it was extremely courageous of Sara to do what she did because the sculpture was what helped the police make the initial arrest.
If she were raped, shouldn’t she show more distress? How can she be so confident? How could she have sculpted so calmly? The defense demands.
Sara holds her stand. The perpetrator should be ashamed. I have done no wrong. Then why should I show any remorse? I turned my pain into art!
People demonstrate emotions or react in different ways. The lack of distress or remorse cannot be cited as evidence or used to challenge the victim.
The family members too are not spared. Sara’s mother is her father’s second wife. He married her after divorcing his first wife. The defense labels her a homewrecker and asks her if such a woman possesses a good character or not.
Did you destroy his first marriage for his money? They taunt. Perhaps it runs in the family they argue. Like mother, like daughter.
They also use this argument to try to break Sara later on.
Could it have been your father instead?
The defense suggests much to Sara’s shock. He did have the house-keys and the access, they argue.
The very fact that everyone knows who the perpetrator is, yet he is protected, while her innocent father is being made the scapegoat horrifies not only Sara, but the viewer as well.
While the above five points are showcased in the film, they are not far from reality, and answer the question, ‘Why did she remain quiet for so long?’ Is there enough sensitivity in the system to provide mental support and safety for a survivor to fight?
Victims of assault hesitate to come forward because of shoddy investigations, lengthy waits, concerns surrounding family honour, the impact on siblings, and the omnipotent ‘what will people say? Keeping silent means avoiding further hassle, harassment, and heartbreak. It means not having to walk in and out of courtrooms. Sadly, this also means the perpetrators walk scot-free, targeting new innocent victims, when the only place they should be, is behind bars.
If there is one scene that stands out, it is Sara walking out of the courtroom, her head held high, her shawl not concealing her face anymore, and not one photographer clicking her photo, respecting her privacy.
As a film, Neru is a riveting watch, though there are segments (especially the last twenty minutes) that are overly dramatized and not very believable. However, the purpose of art is to make the viewer feel uncomfortable and question the status quo, which this film succeeds in doing. Neru raises concerns in the viewers’ minds that stay long after the movie is over.
You can catch this film on Hotstar.
Falguni Nayar, Indra Nooyi, Janaki Ammal and several other women have managed to carve a niche for themselves in spite of the many hurdles that came their way. However, it is essential for us to analyse the inequality and the struggles that women grapple with at every stage of their life. It isn’t easy for a woman to find her feet when it feels like all the odds are stacked against her, and these come from the many challenges for the Indian girl child, that can grow into gigantic obstacles.
Also, for those who do not see these challenges for the Indian girl child around themselves because of their privileges, let us understand that a small fraction of our population lives in urban, educated, “progressive” families. As per a survey conducted in 2021, 65% of the Indian population lives in rural areas, where due to a lack of exposure and curbed access to essential resources, the development of girls is hindered. This is also seen in a large proportion of the urban population not as fortunate as you or I.
Today, 24th January, is National Girl Child Day. On this occasion, here’s a look at 12 challenges for the Indian girl child, that prevent her from reaching her full potential.
Discrimination against a woman begins much before she is born, right when the foetus is formed. Mass sex-selective abortions also called female foeticides are a major reason for the skewed sex ratio in our country.
After the introduction of foetal scans in India, the government became aware that this was contributing to a massive rise in female infanticides. Hence, the Pre-Conception and Pre-Natal Diagnostic Techniques Act of 1994 was passed, making it illegal to determine the sex of the foetus unless necessary for medical reasons.
Apart from the rather appalling practice of foeticide, there are certain cultural practices that have been deeply rooted in our society which are inherently discriminatory in nature. My grandmother was born in a small village in the south of Tamil Nadu. She has told me that the elderly women in a family made a high-pitched trilling sound called ‘kulavai’ to mark an auspicious occasion back in her village. What she also shared, which irked my twelve-year-old self, was that ‘kulavai’ was only done on the birth of a male child. The birth of a daughter was never celebrated.
In spite of women like Savitribai Phule being forerunners of today’s young literate women and women like Kalpana Chawla who could make us feel we can literally reach for the skies, there is still a large gap that must be bridged with regard to the education of women.
While some families don’t believe in educating their daughters at all, others make their son’s education priority number one. The foolish trope that a man must be the breadwinner of the family has been perpetrated for centuries together and has contributed to families turning a blind eye to the education of their girls. Even though several schemes such as the ‘Beti Bachao Beti Padhao’ scheme have been launched for the benefit of the girl child, having access to a proper education still remains an aspiration, not a reality, for many women in our country.
Pliny the Elder wrote in the first Latin encyclopaedia that contact with menstrual blood turns new wine sour, kills hives of bees and rusts metal.
Menstruating women of the Gond tribe in India live in a separation hut even today. Patriarchal societies like the one we live in make mundane biological processes like menstruation a pervasive taboo, curtailing a woman’s mobility and progress. Though certain cultures celebrate the onset of periods in a girl, the cause of celebration is generally her fertility. It is barely ever an attempt to destigmatise periods.
23% of Indian girls drop out of school after menarche, resulting in a permanent loss of control over their lives. The grim truth is that a large share of women still do not have access to the most basic of resources and facilities such as quality sanitary napkins. It is not unheard of for women to resort to cloth and sometimes even cow patties or goatskin in rural areas, to manage their periods.
Menstrual hygiene remains too unaffordable and inaccessible for many Indian women. It was only a few years back that the government revoked the 12% tax on sanitary napkins. This coupled with the unavailability of hygienic public toilets and clean water often hinders women from building a life on their terms.
40% of the world’s child marriages occur in India, with most of them happening in West Bengal. The desire for a docile, innocent and obedient bride is a contributing factor. Even with ‘The Prohibition of Child Marriage Act’ of 2006, child marriages still continue to be rampant in certain areas without the bride’s consent.
Though many interventions were made against child marriages in the 1920s, everyone back then was only focused on the sexual health and general wellbeing of the boy. He was made the poignant victim while the girl was not spoken about. Today, the focus is on the girl child, since most victims of child marriage are girls.
Child sexual abuse is a reality for many unfortunate children, and more of the abuse happens by someone the child knows or trusts. Add to this the trafficking of children, which is closely linked to female foeticide and infanticide. While boys are also victims so many times, the larger burden falls on girls, and the legal system has also not been very helpful always – as evidenced from the child marriages still prevalent, and the way the burden of proving sexual abuse is on the victim/ survivor.
Till 2003, a more lenient rape sentence was allowed as per ‘The Indian Evidence Act’ if the survivor was deemed ‘immoral’.
Victim shaming and questioning a woman’s character based on her choice of clothing are very much prevalent in society. To add to that, women are still extremely hesitant to report crimes since they are worried about their image in society which is very strongly tied to their virginity and refrainment from any sexual activity.
While most urban, educated, privileged households might find this hard to believe, it is the reality of many girl children who are expected to take responsibility of household and caregiving duties from a young age. Imagine this- a frail, young girl of barely ten years wiping the beads of sweat on her forehead as she slices vegetables and fries them, while simultaneously getting her younger siblings ready for school. Girls are forced to shoulder the burden of household chores in order to support the family while boys are sent to school to study.
In a moment of financial crisis, it is unfortunately always the girl child who is first stripped of her needs.
When a boy wants to have fun with his friends, our society views that as perfectly acceptable. However, many families are still very conscious of their reputation, which would somehow be at stake if their daughters went outside.
Instead of letting a young girl explore the world through her own eyes, she has to longingly watch her brother get all the exposure. She is either asked to contribute to actual household chores or play with toy crockery while nurturing baby dolls.
This is one of the hardest challenges for the Indian girl child. A woman is hardly recognised for her own achievements. ‘Marriage’ somehow unknowingly becomes the central theme of her life.
From the moment a girl is born, the parents start saving money to buy jewellery for when she gets married. She is forced to acquire the skills deemed essential to play the role of the quintessential Indian bahu. Instead of sending her to co-curricular classes or sports meets, she is subjected to slogging in the kitchen with her mother and grandmother. She is viewed as a liability because of the dowry the family would have to pay while marrying her off. Fostering an environment in which a girl cannot be free even at home causes her to develop anxiety and take a step back from everything she could have otherwise done.
A couple of years ago, filmmaker Kiran Rao was in the news for her 10 second short films (called Thumbstoppers), both with powerful themes. One of them showed the nasty gender discrimination at households where a mother blatantly discriminates between her children on the basis of their gender. But it also brings us to the boy who is ready fight back and bring changes, starting from his own house. Watch it here.
Though often overlooked, nutritional discrimination is a harsh reality in several Indian families, with the male child being provided with quality food. Boys are given preference during meals, receiving larger portions and a wider variety of food. Girls on the other hand, do not receive their fair share of protein and vitamin rich foods that are integral to their healthy growth.
This is mostly because of the archaic belief that the boy is going to carry the lineage forward while the girl is going to get married into some other family.
It is a well known medical fact that female infants are biologically more robust compared to male infants, but the girl babies have no chance against systematic discrimination.
Almost twice as many hospital visits are made by young boys when compared with girls. This is because the health of a boy is a family’s utmost priority while a girl’s health is neglected more often than not. Especially in rural areas where healthcare facilities haven’t been strengthened yet, people often don’t feel the need to travel that far when a girl is not keeping well. This, coupled with the lack of quality nourishment, is detrimental to the overall wellbeing of a girl child.
Though there are several schemes aimed at gender parity, very little initiative is taken to improve a woman’s financial literacy.
Women are often not included while making major financial decisions. While many families discuss their business details with the male child, the girl is usually not provided with much insight. Financial literacy is integral to establishing complete independence and hence must be focused on. Unfortunately, even working women who earn their own money are kept in the dark about things such as monthly expenses. Family property, stock market investments and several other financial investments are often hidden from women due to the fear that financial literacy would make women less ‘obedient’.
There are many more factors that are challenges for the Indian girl child, and hold her back, chain her to a gruelling patriarchy. Change is happening, but is excruciatingly slow, unfortunately, and even regressing in places. One can only hope for a better future.
Image source: by Poltu shyamal from Getty Images Free for Canva Pro
I remember sitting in my small apartment in Bangalore. The city’s pulse seemingly in sync with my restless heart. The walls, a canvas of my children’s art, were a reminder of the life I had lovingly nurtured. Yet, there was a part of me, a voice, that had been silenced for too long. In fact, twenty years.
The sharp sting of my MIL’s words at our last family gathering still echoed in my mind, “Veena, isn’t it the time to think about settling, rather than unsettling your life?” she had said, when I talked about thinking about my passion for digital marketing jobs, the career I had before getting married. Her voice was laced with concern and conventional wisdom. “Focus on the festivity and taking care of guests instead of being preoccupied with your career thoughts at this moment. You are fifty already. Think of your children’s career, not yours.”
Other elderly ladies supported my MIL with silent nods and quiet whispers. The echoes of their words intertwined with my own self-doubt. But in those silent hours, a resolve was born — a resolve to reclaim my life, my identity. That night, as I lay in bed, a turmoil of emotions churned within me. There was the realization of my own unfulfilled aspirations. It was then that I made a silent vow to myself – a vow to rediscover who I was, beyond the roles I had so diligently played— of a wife, a daughter-in-law and a mother.
Next morning didn’t give me solace. I stood in my balcony and gazed at the bustling Bangalore cityscape holding my tea cup which had cooled down long back. My eyes drifted to my modest living room. The digital marketing books lay sprawled open inside the cupboard.. Their pages and notes scribbled on them were the signs that once they were mine and I excelled at my job once. But my life followed a script that was all too common. Marriage right after college, I had devoted my years to raising my children and managing household. My dream of a career and financial independence had been shelved, gathering dust in some forgotten corner of my heart. But the flame of ambition never died.
Suddenly something hit me. Something many Indian women could relate to — the quest to be financially independent after a long hiatus.
“It’s now or never,” I murmured.
I left the cold tea on the ledge of the balcony and rushed to my laptop. I searched up a few online courses and found one. The moment I decided to enroll in a digital marketing course despite the skepticism from my husband and mother-in-law marked a significant turning point in my life. I enrolled in the Advanced Refresher Digital Marketing Course from Coursera. My heart was pounding with a mixture of fear and excitement. After filling up the forms online and completing all the formalities, it was time to pay the required fee.
One last time. I promised myself swallowing the guilt, which I had done for the last twenty-five years.
I asked Ravish for his credit card number to pay the fee.
My decision was met with skepticism.
“Why bother at this age?” Ravish said, throwing a patronizing look at me. His words were laced with the weight of traditional expectations. Certainly he sounded doubtful.
“It’s a young person’s game,” He cautioned. “The world has moved very fast and has left you far behind you from where you left. Old technologies that you learned are outdated now. Companies prefer young, flexible scheduled people, not oldies. Ab budhape me baccha-party ke saath kaam karna hai kya?”
His words were hurtful, but couldn’t deter me. I attended classes with people half my age, grappling with concepts that were alien to me. The class was in fact filled with bright-eyed twenty-somethings. Their ease with technology, their jargon-laden conversation made me feel adrift. But I tried to recall the thrill of my first successful social media campaign. My heart raced. It gave me the boost I needed.
“It’s like learning a new language,” I joked to my teenage daughters. They supported me and became my cheerleaders. Balancing home, studies, and part-time jobs wasn’t easy. I faced numerous moments of overwhelming frustrations from home and outside both. But there’s one thing, as you grow older the negative remarks affect you less and less every day, because you become mature enough to not let yourself be affected by the negativity of the world around you. You have no desire to impress someone else, but only yourself and that motivation works wonders. There were times when I felt like giving up. But then I would look at my daughters, and a surge of determination would wash over me.
“I will not be stopped,” I affirmed.
My hard work paid off, when soon I landed an internship at a startup before the course completion. The environment was dynamic, demanding and at times, unforgiving. I frequently found myself battling imposter syndrome, questioning my place among the young tech-savvy crowd. Technical concepts came so naturally to those young workers. It was hard for me. I wanted to prove, not just to the world, but to myself, that I could do this. My internship at this startup was my battle ground. Re-entering the workforce at a later age, particularly in a field that evolves rapidly like digital marketing was challenging. The open-plan office, a hub of youthful energy and relentless pace, was both intimidating and exhilarating. Sometimes it felt like an outsider but I kept going.
My first project involved developing a digital marketing strategy for an eco-friendly fashion brand that primarily catered to the youth — a task that required me to merge creativity with technical skill. The brand’s products were vibrant — organic cotton t-shirts with traditional block prints, bamboo fiber dresses with contemporary cuts, and hand woven scarves that blended modern designs with classic weaves.
Yet something was missing.
During a brainstorming session, as ideas bounced around the room, I found myself hesitating before finally speaking up, “What if we broaden our horizon? What if our campaign targets not just the youth but also their parents? Imagine a mother and daughter duo wearing matching block print kurta, or a father and son in eco-friendly bandhgalas with a modern twist.”
The room fell silent, and then suddenly, voices of support and excitement filled the space. My idea was not just about selling clothes and fashion products; it was about connecting generations, about sustainability that transcended age.
“Technology is not everything, some things come from experience and wisdom,” The company’s young CEO said. “We have that in Veena.”
The days that followed were a blur of activity. We worked on creating a line that appealed to all ages – elegant sarees with digital prints for the mothers, chic kurtis for the daughters, smart Nehru jackets for the fathers, and cool, casual shirts for the sons. We were creating more than just fashion; we were weaving stories, bridging gaps.
The day we launched the campaign, my heart was a tumult of emotions. Success was not immediate, but as the campaign gained traction, so did my sense of accomplishment. The brand saw an unprecedented engagement from a wider demographic, and my approach was lauded for its ingenuity and inclusivity.
I watched as our vision came to life, as people from different generations shared their stories wearing our creations. The response was overwhelming. Our campaign didn’t just increase sales; it started conversations, it celebrated diversity.
That evening, standing on my balcony, looking out at the city I witnessed my transformation. I felt a sense of fulfillment. This journey had been more than just professional growth; it was a reclamation of my identity, a proof of my resilience. At this point being financially independent was not even in my mind. I had already crossed that threshold. The best thing was that I broke free from the chains of doubts and societal norms.
My story is a reminder to every woman who finds herself at a crossroads, to every voice that has been suppressed under the weight of family and societal expectations – it’s never too late to pursue your dreams and never too late to rediscover yourself. As I look at the stars tonight, I smile, knowing that my journey, my voice, is now a part of the city’s endless symphony.
“I will not be stopped,” I whispered to the night, my heart unburdened, my spirit free.
Image source: YouTube/ short film Sabhyata
Dear Little Girl,
Here I am sitting at my desk, wondering how and where to begin. What can I tell you differently that others may have not done before? As I battled to clear my thoughts and try to streamline them, an overwhelming mix of emotions dawned upon me. What ensues is the outpouring of my heart, dear little girl.
Dear little girl, the world is not fair. It is a tough battleground demanding resilience, perseverance and gigantic courage. But dear girl, this world is also kind-hearted, compassionate and gracious. As I lay my eyes upon you, I see in you, a woman of immense and unwavering mettle. A woman filled with kindness, gentleness yet with a great power and strength that can withstand any storms and challenges. With your smile and undying zeal and spirit, you will rise like the phoenix.
Dear little girl, remember this old Zen saying –’Obstacles is the path. Know that a whole and happy life is not free of obstacles but rather the very stepping-stones that help lift us to a new perspective’. No wall is bigger enough that you cannot climb. Never let your dreams and aspirations to die. Never let anyone dictate terms! Never let them define you!
Make your choices, own your mistakes and learn from them, keep your self-respect, keep honing your skills and learn new ones. Don’t be scared to take a stand for yourself or for others you need yours.
The last decade has witnessed the evolving landscape of our country. The very fabric of our society has become a little flexible, more amicable for us, women. However, we still find ourselves entangled within this very fabric. Nevertheless, as we are inching towards progress as a nation, as women, we will be more equipped to fight the regression and repression in our society.
I have been fortunate to have met some strong women in my life. Their strength of character has become a blueprint that have shaped me in many ways.
On your journey, I hope, you too meet such women of strength. If you do, then don’t be afraid to imbibe their characteristics and on the way, be an example for the other little girls.
Dance your way through life. And while you do so, carve your own unique path, create your own space and build your own table. And in the rhythm of your journey, always keep your head held high, and be true to yourself. In doing so, you will not only honor those who’ve influenced you but also inspire others to find their own rhythm.
Live your dream. Embrace life with happiness and joy. Lastly, always have positive Vichaar and put out good vibes onto this beautiful world.
Editor’s Note: 24th January is National Girl Child Day. These girls are going to be half the future population of our country. Are we making their lives better? We present a series of thoughtful and informative posts this week. If you have something you would like to contribute, log into your contributor dashboard today.
Dear
Daughters of India
It’s time for you to shine. Do not hesitate to try anything thinking you cannot do because you are a girl. Condemn the wrong notions and fight for your rights. Be independent in every aspect of life. Go out alone, walk alone proudly and wear the crown on your head all the time. Respect yourself, love yourself and the world will be bound to return you with the same. Think about how you can make your life better and work towards it. Earn money and buy your own house before getting married. Do not go by the society’s standard of beauty. You are the most beautiful creation of God. Share your responsibilities with your husband including taking care of your future children and doing the household chores. Choose your life partner wisely and do not allow anyone to rule you. You are the master of your own life. Yours lovingly Proud Mother of a daughter
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