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Since my birth I have been told I need to change
I need to change my habits, to fit into a not so perfect world.
I need to change my dressing sense, to hide myself from the not so perfect world.
I need to change the way I talk, to listen to the not so perfect world.
I need to keep silent, to be suppressed by the not so perfect world.
And one day I changed, I changed for myself and not for the not so perfect world.
I have evolved like a seedling from underneath the soil on this earth to survive in the not so perfect world.
I now can withstand the sun, the rain and the snow, the hard winds and all kind of storms.
I now know my strengths, I now can fight with all my weakness.
Yes! I have changed, I have embraced it all. I’m happy with this change in the not so perfect world.
I have, I can and I will survive in this not so perfect world.
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Board year. These two words can send a shiver down the spine of parents and children across India.
As a mother of a grade twelve student, the past few months have been stressful, to say the least. A few years ago, when my child decided he would not pursue the two favourite choices of Indian parents, engineering and medicine, I was secretly relieved. I did not want my child to be fighting for a seat against one lakh other children. I wanted him to balance his studies with having fun as a teenager. The grade ten during COVID, with double board exams, had been stressful enough. But I didn’t know that getting into a good university, especially an overseas university, was no piece of cake.
The whole process, and its accompanying stress, have made me think about the pressure we put on these 17- and 18-year-olds.
Grade XII is the year that will decide the future of the child. Or so the parents and society think.
This is the year when the pressure is maximum on a person who is technically still a child. If the child is preparing for JEE, NEET or any other professional entrance, then extra coaching hours get added to the already strenuous grade 12 coursework. With their nose to the grindstone, the children struggle for more than two years to secure a seat at one of the premier institutes.
If the students are privileged enough to apply to foreign universities, then they need to make sure that, apart from academics, their extracurricular record is also exemplary. The children go through a wringer of activities to collect certificates and pack their CVs. They need to be go-getters, who work for the community and still get excellent grades.
With the exams around the corner, most parents will share posts and blogs that talk about the mental health of children. And yet, while selecting colleges, colleges with higher CTC packages are preferred. World QS rankings become the be-all and end-all in determining whether a university is worth applying for. The brand name of the university and the CTC package become the bottom line rather than the quality of education. Because for us, getting into a good college has become synonymous with being successful in life.
It is almost as if only getting good grades in XII and getting admission to a good college will determine whether the child will be happy and successful in their life.
Is it only achieving the corner office and earning loads of money? Or is it being happy and fulfilled with the work you do?
And what about the qualities that make us human?
Qualities like kindness, politeness and empathy, that any exam or certification can not quantify. Don’t these qualities matter when we look at the individual?
If yes, then why do we forget to count them when we plan a future for our children? Why do most parents only focus on grades and activities rather than nurturing and appreciating these qualities?
It would be foolish for me, a privileged woman, to say that money doesn’t count. Of course, it does. One needs money for food, shelter, clothing, little luxuries and travel. We all know money makes life much easier for those with it. But is material success the only criterion for being successful? Who determines who is happy? The society or the individual?
I think this is the real question the parents need to ask themselves before they plan a future for their children.
Image source: by atlasstudio Free for Canva Pro
As the sun rises on National Girl Child Day, celebrated on 24th January, it brings with it a renewed sense of hope and empowerment. This day isn’t just about acknowledging the potential of our girls; it’s about celebrating their strength, resilience, and relentless spirit. It’s an opportunity for all of us to reflect upon the journey we’ve embarked on, the battles we’ve won, and the path we’re paving for the future generation of girls.
Remember those childhood days when we would often hear our elders say, “You are a girl, be careful!”? Those words, while meant to protect us, also confined us, making us question our capabilities. However, we have come a long way since then. Today, we see our girls scaling new heights, breaking barriers, and shattering glass ceilings, proving that they are not just ‘careful’ but ‘powerful.’
In honour of this special day, we’ve curated these inspiring quotes for National Girl Child Day that celebrate the spirit of girlhood. These quotes aren’t just words; they are the echoes of every girl’s dreams, ambitions, and aspirations. They serve as a reminder that every girl is unique, brimming with potential, and capable of changing the world.
So, as you read through these quotes, remember the little girl inside you who dared to dream big, who challenged norms, and who grew up to become the strong woman you are today. Let’s continue to empower, inspire, and raise our voices for the rights and respect that every girl deserves.
“The time to prioritize girls and their aspirations is right now!” – Priyanka Chopra
“Young women who want an education will not be stopped.” – Frieda Pinto
“There are miracles and glory in every child. Our glory lies in empowering them to flourish their glory.” – Amit Ray
“If you think that educating your girl is enough for her to tackle the boundaries of tradition, then you are wrong. You have to ensure that not only you empower her with education, but also make her strong enough to resist the evils of societal pressure under which she often buckles. Her life and honour are far more important than “What will people say?” A little emotional support from the parents can make the life of a daughter abused by her in-laws beautiful.” – Neelam Saxena Chandra
“We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can be free”. – Kavita Ramdas
“A girl child who is even a little bit educated is more conscious of family planning, health care and, in turn, her children’s own education.” – Azim Premji
“When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? ‘It’s the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons’ rights to a dowry.’ So who’s going to change the system?” – A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
As we wrap up, we hope these quotes have struck a chord and reignited the spark within you. Let’s continue to celebrate and uplift each other, not just today, but every day.
Every girl has a story, a voice, and the power to make a difference. We’d love to hear from you – what’s your favorite quote or your personal mantra that empowers you? Share it with us in the comments below. Let’s inspire and be inspired.
Happy National Girl Child Day!
Image source: give.do
Editor’s Note: 24th January is National Girl Child Day. These girls are going to be half the future population of our country. Are we making their lives better? We present a series of thoughtful and informative posts this week. If you have something you would like to contribute, log into your contributor dashboard today.
Parameswari Nair, a 57-year-old entrepreneur based in Thane, Maharashtra, epitomises resilience and ambition. She has single-handedly built a thriving insurance and real estate business, demonstrating that age is but a number when it comes to pursuing your dreams.
In this WomensWebXMahilaMoney impact series, we bring you entrepreneurs like Parameswari Nair who had not just the ambition to grow, but took the steps needed to bring their dreams to fruition. Apply for a loan of up to 25 lakhs to fuel your business growth by downloading the Mahila Money App on Google Playstore or visiting the website here.
Parameswari had been operating her insurance and real estate business from her own home for nearly two decades. With one woman employee on her team, she managed to generate a monthly income of approximately ₹80,000 from her part-time ventures and an additional ₹10,000 from tax advisory services. Her reputation as a self-employed insurance agent for esteemed companies spoke volumes of her expertise and commitment.
Reflecting on her journey, Parameswari shared, “I’ve built an ever-growing clientele who place their trust in me. Witnessing the positive impact I make and providing the best solutions to them is truly fulfilling. Their support fuels my determination to soar higher.
Once her daughter was married, Parameswari found herself with time on her hands, even though she already had an established business. Determined to utilise her potential to the fullest and with support from her husband who was employed as a mechanical engineer, she set her sights on expanding her business. The dream of establishing a dedicated office space and hiring two additional employees to better serve her growing clientele had always been playing on her mind. However, the persistent chains of financial constraints prevented her dreams from taking flight.
It was at this critical juncture that Parameswari’s life took a transformative turn – she discovered Mahila Money. It became the turning point she needed.
She applied for a loan and received an approval for ₹2,00,000, which she intended to use for renting an office space and hiring staff. This financial boost provided her with the opportunity to take her business to new heights. “It has given me the confidence to take the next step in expanding my business,” Parameshwari shared, brimming with excitement. “With a proper office and additional staff, I can now serve my growing clients more efficiently and professionally.”
Parameswari put the loan to immediate use, securing an office and recruiting two skilled staff members. The impact was immediate as Parameswari’s dedication and commitment to her clients led to business growth. Her insurance business started to thrive in the new setting, attracting a larger clientele and increasing revenue.
Parameswari’s entrepreneurial spirit shines bright as she exclaims, “I am grateful to Mahila Money for believing in me and my vision. This loan has not only transformed my business but also boosted my confidence and self-belief. I am determined to continue expanding and creating more employment opportunities for women in this industry.”
Parameswari Nair’s entrepreneurial journey stands testament to the power of persistence and the right financial backing. Her remarkable growth has not only led to the establishment of a thriving business but also positioned her as an inspiring figure for aspiring women entrepreneurs. As her enterprise continues to flourish, Parameswari remains steadfast in her #JiyoApneDumPe vision, dedicated to helping others and creating more employment opportunities. With each milestone achieved, Parameswari demonstrates that no dream is too grand to achieve. Reflecting on her accomplishments, she proudly shares, “My daughter and husband take immense pride in my achievements, and that, along with my own sense of pride, is the greatest reward in life.”
If you are a #JiyoApneDumPe woman entrepreneur who wants to take your business to new heights and needs working capital and entrepreneurship resources, get in touch with the Mahila Money team today.
Being a mother to a daughter is the most challenging experience I’ve ever known. It’s not the physical aspect but the emotional weight that makes it tough. Firstly, I wish she doesn’t follow my path, that she doesn’t encounter the same inequalities I faced. Secondly, a constant worry lingers for her safety. Despite residing in a safe neighborhood, the news and stories I come across fill me with sadness and concern for my daughter.
She is the prettiest and innocent soul, someone I yearn to shield from the harsh realities of the outside world. Simultaneously, I want to instill in her a strength that allows her to embrace and triumph over her own battles. I understand the contradiction, and I am yet to decide which path to take.
I acknowledge the positive changes happening, and every day, I offer prayers for a world where my daughter, and countless other girls, can live in a harmonious, pleasant world. Here’s to my daughter and every brave girl living on this beautiful land.
Dear Brave Girl,
I want you to know that you are a beacon of hope, strength, and limitless potential. In a world that may sometimes seem daunting, I want you to remember that you are not alone, and your spirit is unbreakable. If I could convey just one message to you, it would be this: the world is vast, and within it lies a mosaic of opportunities waiting for you to unravel.
You are not defined by the constraints that society might attempt to impose upon you. Your dreams are the seeds of your future, and you have the ability to nurture them into magnificent realities. Never let anyone convince you that your worth is anything less than immeasurable. You are not just a girl; you are a force of nature, an embodiment of resilience, intelligence, and grace.
In the face of challenges, remember that adversity is not a roadblock but a stepping stone. Life may not always be fair, and the journey might be tough, but the strength you cultivate within yourself will guide you through the darkest moments. Believe in the power of your dreams, and let them be the driving force that propels you forward.
I understand that you may encounter prejudice, discrimination, and obstacles that seem insurmountable. However, I want you to know that each hurdle is an opportunity for you to demonstrate your strength and determination. Stand tall, for you are part of a generation that is rewriting the narrative and challenging outdated norms. Be the change you wish to see and inspire others to do the same.
It’s crucial to surround yourself with a community of supporters who believe in your potential. Seek mentors who can guide you, uplift you, and share their wisdom. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Together, we can break down the barriers that hinder progress and create a world where every girl can thrive.
Education is not just a tool for personal advancement; it is a catalyst for societal transformation. Arm yourself with knowledge, for it is the key that unlocks the doors to endless possibilities. Your intellect is a force that can reshape communities and nations.
As you navigate the journey of life, my dear girl, always remember that you are not alone. Your voice matters, your dreams are valid, and your existence is a gift to the world. The canvas of your life is waiting for the strokes of your dreams and aspirations. Paint it with courage, compassion, and the colors of your unique identity.
Waving Joyfully
Shanu
Image source: by dimaberlinphotos Free for Canva Pro
I do not advocate murder, treachery, extra-marital relationships or any form of immoral actions; however I cannot feel drawn towards Swathi Shetty from Killer Soup. Her quest for respect is insatiable as compared to her expectations of love and companionship. Her will to stand up against all odds and fulfill her own dreams surpasses everything else. Does that make her vile and fiendish? Perhaps to a few but not to most.
*Spoilers Alert!*
Swathi Shetty never wanted Prabhakar Shetty, her husband to die. However, she kept her clandestine escapades on simultaneously since she found a good man in Umesh Mahto (who is also her husband’s masseuse) someone who she had met while working as a nurse at Mainjur.
What sets apart these two men in her life is initially their attitude towards her-Prabhakar Shetty disrespected her, cheated on her several times (which she comes to know much later), cannot take a stand for her whereas Umesh Mahto not only loves her but respects her too only to fall weak when encountered with another woman aka Kirtima.
Swathy has the worst recipe of a Paya Soup (that she’s trying to perfect for long now) that repulses her clients but has the best concoction for crime, murder and deceit which is evident when she tries to replace her lover Umesh Mahto with Prabhakar Shetty after they accidentally kill him (or do they?).
From the opening scene the relationship between Swathi and Prabhakar aka Prabhu as she calls him, is quite conspicuous; it clearly reflects how they are passing each other on the downslope of the marriage of 20 years. While the former is hell bent upon on a dream to own a restaurant of her own the latter keeps planning and plotting to swindle his elder brother, the local mafia Arvind Shetty!
As the plot thickens there are more deaths which somehow has Swathi Shetty around and leads her to one quagmire to another. One cannot miss her desperation (which has a beautiful stoical facade) when she finds out how she was used, manipulated and cheated upon by her husband. Not to forget she kept up with his vileness just to set up her own dream restaurant serving the best Paya Soup. Isn’t it what most women do to hold onto something that’s really close to them-for some it could be children, for some it could be domesticity or for some it could be a hidden aspiration.
Swathi’s angst at being mocked, insulted, humiliated time and again by her husband or his elder brother resembles the hurt most women go through when they aren’t given their due respect. Her facial expressions say it all, she is the woman who refuses to live a mediocre life or a life that’s defined by someone else. And if that leads her to treacherous ways well, she doesn’t hesitate.
Swathi is a woman stuck in a patriarchal set up wherein even her own people do not trust her. So she has to take it upon herself to build a life that she dreams of.
Director Abhishek Choubey is known to create women characters with a lot of authority even when it means for them to stray into the morally grey areas; we’ve seen it in Ishqiya and Udta Punjab so Killer Soup isn’t different.
Swathi Shetty gets to you as a woman as rightly pointed out by Konkona Sen Sharma (who plays the character) in her conversation with DNA India, ““It was a lot of fun. The way I see it from Swathi’s point of view is that she is a greater goal, a larger cause, which is her restaurant. She has done everything, raised kids, worked, climbed the social ladder, and now she wants to do this for herself, at a slightly later age, when she is done with the domesticity. Many women can relate to that, doing something for themselves. But life and patriarchy get in the way. In that sense, I myself could relate to her a lot.”
Having said that Swathi Shetty breaks a lot of eggs to create her proverbial omelette but at the end she leaves you empathizing with her. Her constant persuasion of her personal goals after having fulfilled all societal expectations will surely resonate with a lot of women who are trying hard to reclaim a little more agency in life. In the end you know that Swathi Shetty might not have the perfect recipe for a ‘Killer Soup’ but she surely has the perfect one to create a life that she always dreamt of.
Rivaba Jadeja. I hadn’t heard this name before I stumbled during some laid-back scrolling on Facebook, on her interview with Jist- a media/news company based in Gurgaon. Bur turns out that she is a young politician, and the wife of cricketeer Ravindra Jadeja.
Dressed in a pastel blue chiffon saree that was carefully draped over her shoulders, covering her back, Rivaba spoke about how she was married to Indian cricketer, Ravinder Jadeja. This young and dynamic woman whose middle name could have been ‘Confidence’ rather than Ravinder, out of all the things to speak on as a woman in politics, was seen talking of her arranged marriage to Mr. Jadeja.
No offence to her. The media kept asking her questions on marital aspects and she had to share some juicy tidbits. What caught my attention was the way she was married off.
One fine day, as she was preparing for her postgraduate exams after a degree in engineering, her father asked her for her biodata, not revealing the reason behind it. The dutiful daughter, though curious, did oblige him immediately. In a week, he told her to dress up modestly, specifying no heels and light makeup, and go along with him for a certain meeting. Rivaba did as was told to her. They reached a restaurant run by her now sister-in-law and from the conversations that happened, this girl realized it was all about her marriage. The prospective groom wasn’t present as he was playing in South Africa. The alliance was almost fixed.
When Ravinder arrived in India, he met Rivaba and said, ‘If you are not happy with this rishta, I’m ready to take the baton and decline the wedding.’
Sorry, but I couldn’t watch further. It looked like Sooraj Bharjatiya’s Vivaah-3.
So scripted, so fake, just looking like an idiot!
Imagine, they have the gall to present such stuff to the people!
Okay, I trust Rivaba and as she says that in her part of the world, marriages happen like this, I believe her. What I can’t believe is how a well-educated girl goes dressed for a meeting of which she has no idea. Why does her father ask her to behave subtly and sombre? And what is it about not wearing heels?
Are they trying to tell us, that women wearing heels are not marriage material?
After cutting through the interview crap, I googled Rivaba and found that she won the legislative elections from Jamnagar constituency in December 2022. Now, a woman whose life could well be a story of woman empowerment in politics has reduced herself to a debatable topic of relating heels with the modesty of a woman. I wish she would have filtered out the details and used another way to project her humility and dutiful image.
Had her father educated her only so she could be a cricketer’s wife? A trophy wife. That was a bouncer to me.
In India, some girls run away to pursue their education, women push ahead with marriage plans to achieve career goals, while women like Rivaba are taking India a century behind.
The way Rivaba exuberantly narrated her story, I felt sorry for many girls who have similar tales but they aren’t happy about it. They are struggling to reach the survival mark. Barefoot, these girls are scorching their backs in the sun to fulfil their dreams. Heels or not, they are walking on eggshells to realize a future worth living for. They are fighting parents, and abusive husbands, and standing tall against the wall of futile expectations from caving in.
We need more interviews of such women. In fact, Rivaba Jadeja needs to meet them. Her important voice needs to vocalize the reforms to stop such practices where the girl is not informed of a meeting that is to be held with her future in-laws. Consent needs to be taken before parents think of putting their products on display. We are in 2023 not 1823 or even 1993. I understand for some communities it is a tradition, a way of staying connected with their roots. But why involve high heels and make-up with the tradition of marriage? Save them for another argument, for another day.
To Rivaba’s father,
Uncle, heels or not, your daughter stands tall in society with her mannerisms and education. If somebody has to measure their marital quotient with her footwear and make-up, the person certainly deserves to be slapped with chappals.
To the media,
Guys, please ask Rivaba what plans she has for her constituency, how she plans to improve the plight of women there, and not how she met her husband. Don’t giggle and blush when she narrates how a spineless amoeba she was when the marriage decision was taken. There are many ways to increase your TRP.
And finally to Rivaba Jadeja,
Woman, if you had no control over what your father said and did then, at least now don’t take pride in narrating the incident. Don’t push things under the carpet saying that is how it works in your community. We already have a zillion social issues to handle, please don’t tack on.
Image source: YouTube
Dear dear girl of India, In a world full of possibilities, there is no limit to your potential. Embrace your uniqueness, because you are the epitome of strength, wisdom and grace. As you move forward on life’s journey, remember that challenges are hidden opportunities. Your dreams are valid, your voice matters and your existence enriches the fabric of our society. In moments of doubt, find solace in the steadfast truth that you deserve every opportunity and respect. Break barriers, challenge stereotypes and let your talent shine. Believe in your abilities, because you have the power to shape a brighter, more equitable future. Know that you are not alone; A supportive community stands behind you. Seek wisdom, develop kindness, and embrace the beauty of your personality. The path may not always be easy, many obstacles will be there, but with determination and resilience you can overcome any obstacle. May your journey be filled with joy, achievement and achievement of your dreams. Embrace the strength within you, because you are the creator of your own destiny. As you grow up, inspire others with your courage, compassion and unwavering spirit.
With unwavering support, Shailja Mishra A writer & proud mom of a girl child
Trigger Warning: This speaks of violence against girls and women by their own families, and may be triggering to survivors.
We have apparently “progressed”, but do our girl children enjoy an equal place in Indian society?
The animated beat of the dhaak drums up excitement among the young children scampering about in the wide courtyard of Chowdhury Mansion, soaking up the spirit of Durga Puja in Kolkata. The grand idol of the Devi, resplendent in her festive finery, occupies centre stage in the pandal. As the family priest takes a short break in between the rituals, a young house help beckons all the children inside the house. It’s time for the annual affair when Boro Ma, or the grand matriarch, distributes new clothes to the children of the expansive Chowdhury family.
All the youngsters, from toddler to teen, fall in line in the spacious living room, an eager excitement lighting up their faces. Boro Ma enters the room with two maids and starts handing over the tastefully gift-wrapped packages to the children, one by one.
At the end of the queue stands a fair, coy, diminutive figure, peeping from behind her older sister. The lady reaches the end of the line. As the little girl, *Shomasri, steps forward with an outstretched hand, Boro Ma abruptly turns back and walks out of the room with her usual authoritative gait. The girl looks both flummoxed and crestfallen, as the other children revel in their goodies. She is too young to understand what just transpired. Her only fault — she is the second daughter born to her mother, and hence, deserves no affection or acceptance.
An economically disadvantaged family comes to Bangalore from another state, with dreams in their eyes. It comprises a couple and their three young children aged twelve, eight and four. The husband finds work as a security guard in an upscale apartment while the wife is employed as a domestic help.
The two younger children stay at home (no funds to send them to school) while the pre-teen daughter, *Lakshmi, is packed off to baby-sit a toddler having affluent working parents. A child herself, this young girl has no inclination or expertise to handle the tantrums of the pampered baby, but continues nevertheless, just to supplement the family income.
This continues for two years. In certain moments of complete disinterest and helplessness, she seeks the company of a young male housekeeping personnel, mainly to vent out her frustration. Before her naïve mind can reason, she decides to follow her nubile heart and elopes with the guy. Within a year, she delivers a pre-term child. The hospital staff inform the police and the new dad is taken into custody – both parents are under age. With extreme difficulty, the girl’s parents cough up one lakh rupees to the police and get the case closed. The young couple is let off with a warning. Within three months of her delivery, the mother takes up maidservant duties in an apartment to buy medicine and supplements for her undernourished baby.
In one of the newly developed residential areas of Bangalore, a family is picking up the threads of existence in the post-Covid era. They had lost their means of livelihood during the prolonged lockdown. Penury forced them to sell off their agricultural land in the village and take up odd jobs in the city.
Now that things have stabilised a little, the parents get their son admitted to an English medium school while *Uma, the daughter, is kept at home to do the chores, as both parents are employed. The boy is not academically inclined and grudgingly attends school. The girl has studied till the eighth grade and was faring quite well in her earlier institution. Requests by acquaintances and well-wishers to enrol the girl into a government school (to avoid high expenses) are met with a flat refusal.
What’s the point in educating a daughter when she’s meant to get married eventually and leave the house? At least the son will support us in our old age if he gets educated and holds a good job, is the rationale offered to anyone who questions this equation.
The above are three cases I have personally witnessed. Diverse incidents, different backgrounds, varied locations – but what is that one common thread that binds them all together? It is the curious case of the girl child’s interests being purposefully given a miss. Be it Shomasri or Lakshmi or Uma, it is invariably the daughter who is being deprived of a shot at a better life. Or the little, undiluted joys which every child dreams of. All because of her XX chromosomes – a reason which she has no control over.
India, in spite of her significant all-round development, still lags behind in the domain of nurturing and protecting her young girls. Even today, most pregnant parents secretly hope for a male offspring, especially if it is their first. The exultation surrounding the birth of a child is directly related to its gender. The arrival of a baby boy calls for a robust celebration; a girl child is given a tepid welcome. And in many cases, the family actually laments the birth of a daughter. Isn’t parental and familial love supposed to be all-encompassing and unconditional for a new born, irrespective of gender? Perhaps not, in our country, as several studies show.
India celebrates the National Girl Child Day on 24 January every year.
The concerted efforts of the administrative and medical agencies to ban pre-birth sex determination seem to have borne fruit and the Child Sex Ratio (CSR) of live births shows an upturn for girl babies. Female foeticide and infanticide, a common social malaise till a few years back, have diminished but marginally.
Having said that, the girl child stares at an uncertain and uphill journey right from birth. Discrimination, dismissal, and rejection doggedly impede her every step – whether it is her share of a nutritious and filling meal, her need for everyday essentials, her desire to be educated, her choice of career, or even her freedom of attire, movement and speech. The tradition of considering girls as paraya dhan stymies their educational and professional aspirations. They are often denied access to health care facilities and have to make do with ineffective home remedies or neighbourhood quacks. Under-age marriage and subsequent childbirth take a toll on their health. When the bride is a vulnerable pre-adult, she is unable to resist or protest. Hence, domestic violence becomes easier to perpetrate.
In the marginalised pockets, the problems branch out and amplify in more alarming ways. Child trafficking, adolescent pregnancy outside wedlock, and sexual abuse are common inhibitors in the way of a safe and happy childhood. Since access to education and awareness are almost zilch, most of these cases go unreported. And the trend continues with impunity.
In a society weighed down by draconian patriarchal diktats, a girl is always considered a burden, an outlier, whose sole purpose is to satisfy her husband, uphold family honour, and bear legitimate heirs to continue the family name. In most families, girls are given lessons in moral propriety, social etiquette and homemaking skills right from their childhood. Education, career choice, travel experiences, a liberal mindset, and economic self-reliance figure very low in the hierarchy of priorities. Hence, from a tender age, she is groomed and conditioned to embrace a life of care giving, birthing and nurturing. Sacrificing her own dreams, desires and necessities at the altar of family or spousal demands is a common narrative for a young girl, even in the so-called ‘modern’ and ‘educated’ echelons of society.
In India, right to education forms a basic right for children of both genders, on paper. But in reality, not all girls are enrolled for their elementary education. By the time, they reach high school, the numbers further dwindle. Similarly, there is a number of beneficial schemes offered to the girl child by the government to facilitate her education, healthcare, vocational training and in some states, marriage. But the actual implementation of these benefits is still fraught with roadblocks, thanks to unscrupulous middlemen and in many cases, greedy parents.
On a brighter note, times are changing and the prospect of an emancipated, accommodating society now seems closer than ever before. Equipped with the boon of education and empowerment, our girls can be the instrument to mobilise far-reaching changes in every possible domain. All they need is a push…that one golden chance to play on a level ground…one, that has been purged of discrimination, oppression and gender inequality.
A fresh year has just begun. It harbours 365 renewed opportunities to celebrate, protect and nurture our young girls. Let all the Shomasris, Lakshmis and Umas write a new chapter in their lives. They are raring to go. The onus is on us to listen to their voices, to believe in them, and to help them dream big. Can’t we make this happen? Together, let us smash the obstructive stereotypes and move beyond the rhetoric. Our girls are precious. As we observe another National Girl Child’s Day, let us gift them a world filled with extra sunshine, peals of laughter, larger rainbows, and abundant reasons to feel special and loved.
*(Names changed to protect privacy)
Nowadays, cities feature the finest restaurants, happening pubs, and fancy bistros. Food is just not a necessity anymore. Flaunting your food in fancy eateries is a signature lifestyle of the Gen-Z. With the current information overload in the form of reels, reviews, and blogs – ‘food’ has turned ‘fashionable’. Fusion food is a rage. Food photography is a modern-day art. Flaunting your food is a social media ritual!
Amidst all this paranoia, excesses, and exhibitionism, there are days when you ache for a particular kind of food. Something so rare even the myriad options on Zomato or Swiggy can’t suffice. Yet something so basic that you doubt, why at all, your ‘refined and elevated tastes’ of caviar and champagne are craving for something so simple! These are the days you are longing for your comfort food. Comfort Foods are simple, basic, childhood staples, that you subconsciously take for granted but never acknowledge. Comfort Foods connects you to your former self. A bite of it transports you to the nostalgic world of memories and more.
On a lazy afternoon, I had an intense urge to have my comfort food – Aloo Poshto (a vegetarian recipe made with potatoes and poppy seeds, in mustard oil). This recipe is so common in Bengali households that it never requires a mention, yet universally features. The moment I tasted the first bite of Aloo Poshto along with steaming rice, I got transported to this old-world charm of cassettes and comics, of rainy-day holidays and khichdi, of Maa’s soft embrace and sunbathed winters. Comfort foods are never about cooking skills, spices, or techniques. They are always about emotions, nostalgia, and magic.
Comfort Foods works like time machines. That entire afternoon I sat on my balcony, staring at the gardens, reminiscing those innocent winter days of sunbathing with Maa on the terrace, eating oranges while scrolling through the pages of my favourite comic book – Tintin. Comfort Foods soothe the soul like a lullaby and help you heal.
Comfort foods are culture-specific and come with heavy emotional baggage. It is not possible to objectively gauge why and how a particular food item becomes someone’s comfort food. It is also, rather insolent to comment on someone’s food preferences without proper perspectives. This reminds me of the ‘Idligate’ incident on Twitter (now X) when a British Professor remarked that idlis are ‘the most boring thing in the world’. This comment drew the flak of the food fanatics around the world. Shashi Tharoor – the Indian Diplomat, Politician and word wizard, quickly retorted – “Yes, my son, there are some who are truly challenged in this world. Civilisation is hard to acquire: the taste & refinement to appreciate idlis, enjoy cricket, or watch ottamthullal is not given to every mortal. Take pity on this poor man, for he may never know what Life can be.”
Owing to my pluralistic-cultural association I have noticed how comfort foods vary across cultures. Their tastes, ingredients, and flavours are very different. But what’s common in all of them is the collective feeling of nostalgia and magic. On asking my friends about their comfort foods I got varied answers. A Vada Pao is a reminder of school days, while besan chilla takes back to rural life, a sabudana khichdi is like a mother’s embrace, and Pao Bhaji is the weekly family delicacy.
Comfort Food is less about the ingredients, the health benefits, or the presentation. They are always easy to available, easy to make and an intrinsic part of the community as a whole. So, next time when you hear about someone’s comfort foods, also listen to the heartwarming anecdotes associated with it. Because food is not fashion. Food is always about emotions.
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