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Trigger Warning: This deals with violence against women and may be triggering for survivors.
When I just typed “Women Issues in India”, I got a drop down list of various issues faced by women across India. Although, I wasn’t fully surprised and shocked to see the list but was sad that after several years of independence and designing so many laws and rights for women, the issues remain the same.
I would like to highlight some of the issues here.
This was on top of the list.
We have completed 75 years of Independence and still women across India be it small villages or Tier 1 cities, domestic violence both mental and physical is still all pervasive. The women could be highly educated working in an MNC, or sitting at home taking care of the family. The irony is that the abuse could also come from a fellow woman.
And women are of course silenced, or they stay silent and don’t speak up for themselves. This means that the actual numbers may be higher than those on record, as there are many instances that aren’t reported or registered anywhere.
Women are still unaware of the importance of good sexual and reproductive health. This is responsible for 1/3 of health issues experienced by women in the age group of 14 to 50yrs.
There is a lack of proper education and access to essential amenities, and other reasons like early age pregnancy, late pregnancy, the lack of a decide for herself whether to have a child with marriage or without marriage… anything and everything a women should know.
Women need to have the correct knowledge and the right support. Strange to read and know that there are so many of them who are unaware of their rights and their health too. This also includes the knowledge of and access to proper maternal health that a woman needs before, during, and post childbirth.
We have heard, “India will be free when the women in India walk freely on the streets without any fear”. And this still remains a question, whether we as women are really safe?
We have so many laws and bills passed that assure safety and security to women on paper but in reality, the scenario is different. Increase in rape cases, abuse on streets is increasing with every day.
Informal employment sector is one part of the economy which isn’t taxed or monitored. Some researchers even say that it accounts for 60% of the world’s total labour force. This informal employment majority has women in it who opt for secondary income for themselves and for some it may also be the only source of income.
With the recent pandemic many lost their job and it’s stated that women were the ones who suffered a lot. It is estimated that in low-income countries around 92% women suffered of losing employment and source of earning income for their families.
This has been rising on alarming rate.
Women have always been at the receiving end for any situation that happens around them. They are blamed for being silent, for speaking up, for working, for not-working, get married, not marrying, having kids, having no kids, getting divorced and the list goes on.
Although mental health is a concern for both men and women and it affects differently in both. Cases of suicides, depression and anxiety are more often seen in women compared to men as they undergo various emotional and hormonal changes along with suppression from the society.
I found these to be the top 5 issues that needs to resolved and eradicated completely. Apart from these issues I also found that women face issues like restricted Political participation, Online Extremism that includes fake photography, luring young girls and forcing them in selling their bodies and extracting money by threatening them., forcing them into human trafficking. All these not only raise eyebrows but also creates a sense of fear about safety of women in the country.
This year the motto of UN Women is “Invest in Women: Accelerate Progress” where in they want to create an equal opportunity for women by eradicating everything that comes in their way. Be it poverty, shifting to green economy and financing women.
We as a country that worships women as goddess can also achieve this by “Investing in Women”, the right way. By focusing on Gender Integration, transformation and mainstreaming so that they get equal opportunities and equal rights.
Gender integration refers to various strategies that take gender norms into account. It goes beyond simply targeting women with products and services. It includes context-specific gender analysis that considers how people might experience a problem differently because of their gender. It also aims to identify gender gaps in access to and control over resources, as well as gender driven power relations that can affect how a problem might be best addressed. Gender integration supports the development and implementation of gender biased health programs, policies, and services.
Whereas Gender transformation aims to change gender inequities at the same time it also focuses on improving women health and resolving issues around it. Gender transformation approach is designed to change gender norms that restrict women and men access to various health services. They also help women to understand the importance of good health. They question and challenge the unequal distribution of power, lack of resources, limited opportunities and benefits, and restrictions on rights of a women’s health and overall well-being.
Gender mainstreaming is the public policy concept of evaluating the different inferences for women and men of any planned policy action, including regulation and programmes, in all areas and at all levels. Mainstreaming uses a diverse approach that values the miscellany among both women and men.
All the 3 include but are not limited to:
Let’s stand together for each other, let’s uplift every woman we come across so that we have a nation that respects women as a whole as the creator of our very being. Let us change these challenges into better opportunities and transform the world to be a better place for everyone.
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It was an open space beyond the dappled shadows and thick canopies. There was some sort of spell in those fluffy clouds. Otherwise, the sudden urge to scoop a handful of them wouldn’t have sprouted in her. She knew that.
She just sat down on the moss-clad rocky stairway, waiting, as if a pair of wings would sprout on her back any moment and she would fly up to scoop the cloud. When the wind became curious, she just let her stray hair strands caress her face. Her years-long pet peeve evaporated into the thin air, and she didn’t even realize it. Just as some faint footsteps drew near, a familiar fragrance shrouded her. She looked over her right shoulder. In that weary evening, he stood there like a fresh morning. His eyes were calm and rimmed with affection. He sat down next to her. After a moment of silence, he gently took her palm in his.
“Your palms are cold,” he stroked the back of her palm, tenderly.
“Yours are warm. Like always.”
“Are you upset with me?” His long eyelashes didn’t flutter for a long moment, as if memorizing every curve of her face.
“Should I be?”
“I do understand. The worst thing you could do to a person is to keep them waiting. Give them hope, put them on hold while you serve your priorities,” he sighed to let the reality sink in. “If I were in your shoes, I don’t know if my perception of life would be the same.”
“Even if I were in your place, I’m not sure my perception of the world would be the same either.”
There was so much left to be shared. So much left to be said. So much left to be heard. But they just let the silence percolate into every part of their being.
“Everyone back home must be looking for you,” he stood up and turned to her.
As if in a trance, she clasped his palm and stood up. She walked alongside him through the dirt road. When was the last time they walked hand-in-hand? Her mind went blank. She couldn’t recall. The grip on her palm was comforting and all of her concerns disappeared into the pit of her stomach. Just as they took the left turn on the lane, she came across her mother. More than the sudden appearance and embrace of her mother, the fading grip on her right palm alarmed her. She tilted her head and looked around. He was nowhere to be found. In the distance, she could see the backyard of the house. The house that turned into her home.
“Where have you been, Diya? Raghav ji saw you leaving your handbag by the gate… I…I got you,” her mother whimpered into her hair.
Before she could verbalize her frustration, she was brought into the home, through the backdoor. She walked into a series of familiar faces, nested on the various corners of her home. Everyone was waiting for her. Every pair of eyes fell on her, and soon the weight of the gazes became unbearable. An urge ignited in her. She hurriedly made it to the bedroom and closed the door behind her.
The moodiness of the sky slowly penetrated through the window and the room tripped a foot more deep into affliction. Cocooned in the corner of the bedroom, on the cold floor, she felt like being trapped in a cobweb. Several minutes crawled by. Every minute brought with it diverse decibels of voices. Whimpers hushes, sobs, and the occasional squeaks of the wooden door kept the air agitated. Yet, the bizarre thought kept resurfacing in her mind, whether the insects trapped in the cobweb ever try to wriggle out of it or they readily accept the fate and wait for the spider to ravish them. She sat there idle, without even a slight wriggle to get out of the web of uncanny thoughts.
Except for the occasional silent surveillance, no one stepped into her private space. The tips of her fingers and toes tingled. She felt alien in her own body. Leaning back on the wall, she skimmed through the bedroom; their bedroom. She has never seen anything in the room out of its place. A little misplacing of things from here to there irked him effortlessly. He would roll his eyes and proceed to arrange them. The borderline of OCD has been a funny topic between them, especially in the anecdotes from the military camp. Eleven months of marriage had the constant longing factor between them.
It was the undying love and longing for each other that bound them together over mountains and miles. At times, he would tease her, quoting some funny instances, and she would bless it with a lazy punch on his arm. She was aware that being an army wife calls for immense patience and selflessness. Even though she came across a string of unpleasant objections on the path, their wedlock was the leap of faith she had taken. They were in love. Loving someone and letting them put the nation first is divine. But that divinity didn’t ease her affliction. Every square inch of her body ached. They don’t deserve this.
The squeaky door snapped her back into reality.
With a weary glance, she caught the glimpse of two saree-clad women fading behind the door. A stir arose from her chest. She wanted to yell at them to keep calm, as she was not going to cut the vein or hang herself.
An army wife never gives up.
But her inner voice dried up in the throat itself. Every tongue was speaking of her. She will be dissected henceforth, and that’s how it is. That’s how it has been. She gasped and took in a mouthful of air, hoping that it would ease the burning in her chest. But it didn’t. Within no time, a flare coursed from the intestine to her throat.
“Army wife? Army wives never give up but what about army widows? For whom should they remain strong and hold their head high?” a resentful voice reverberated from her being.
Hours back, when one of the reporters asked her to be brave and be proud of the sacrifice of her late husband, an inexplicable sting coursed through her spine. No woman feels pride upon losing her love. But the nation doesn’t understand. Since Kargil, hundreds of army officers have embraced martyrdom. Their devotion to the motherland is glorified. People and media glorify them at the initial week of martyrdom and for the next few years. As long as they hold news value, they get remembered on their death anniversaries and special occasions. And after that, they no longer are even a passing memory among those millions of people for whom they’ve sacrificed their lives.
She wished she hadn’t overheard all those concerns of the mourning crowd.
The mourning relatives and neighbours. People. Some were relieved that she was young and financially stable. Some considered her being beautiful and widowed as a probable threat to her. Some considered her fortunate for not having any children, as it would have hampered her prospect of getting a second chance in life. Some blamed her decision of choosing to marry an army man.
And yes.
If these people coincided in any opinion, it was that they were proud of her late husband; the martyr. The Pulwama Hero. Son of the nation. They say that he has not died. He has been martyred.
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Image source: CanvaPro
It’s been nearly two years since my fledgling has flown, leaving my nest empty.
“You must be depressed!”, “What do you do all day?”, “You must be feeling lonely and lost without your daughter”, and “If you had had another child, things would have been easier”, were the initial reactions of near and not-so-near ones.
Most of the time, I didn’t know how to react. One reason was I was coming to terms with living without my daughter, and two, I don’t believe in sharing my thoughts and feelings with all and sundry. So, I just stayed mum with a nonchalant smile pasted on my face.
I know I will be judged for being a bad mother for stating this. It is almost 19 years since I had stopped thinking about myself. My focus was on taking care of my daughter and her needs. So, I had hoped that once she left home to pursue her higher studies, I would be able to concentrate on myself fully, totally, and completely.
Here, the tautology used is well-intended. I made plans and more plans not knowing that a devil was smirking behind waiting to unleash itself throwing buckets of ice-cold water on my well-laid-out plans.
Women and their lives! At every stage and every turn, something is waiting to scare the hell out of them without making the customary ‘BOO’ sound.
When we are at the threshold of puberty it’s the PMS that strikes taking us unawares. We don’t know how and from where it landed. It lands with a promise never to take off, whether we like it or not, it stays with us on board. Within a couple of years when we feel we have caught the storm by its hair we have to ready ourselves for another blow. With the initial honeymooning period receding the challenges of conception take over.
By the time the whole family is reveling in the supposedly good news, we are left coping with pregnancy issues. After dealing with 9 months of prenatal woes finally, the baby arrives. For a moment we forget all the problems we had faced so far on seeing the small bundle of joy laid delicately on our forearms.
If you are lucky, you get spared of the postpartum depression. If you aren’t then you have another uninvited guest to host.
The journey of motherhood is filled with troughs and crests. One moment you feel on top of the world and the next moment you are hurled to the ground, mind you from the same ‘top of the world’ height. By the time you feel you have mastered the art of mothering, you have touched middle age.
Now back to my story. When my daughter left home to pursue her higher studies, I heaved a long sigh of both fret and relief. Now you must be wondering how can I go through two strong emotions at the same time. This is something complementary that comes with mothering. One can smile and frown, cry and laugh, feel relieved and yet worry, there’s more to the list. But I will leave it to this for now.
What do you think was waiting for me at my threshold with a wide smirk pasted on its face? Anxiety, palpitations, tiredness, heavy and painful periods, insomnia- when I drawled out the unending symptoms to my doctor, she just smiled and said, “No worries, you are perimenopausal. It will take another 5 to 8 years for you to reach menopause. And the menopause and post-menopausal phase goes on for the next 8 years. Then the hormones will settle down and you will have no problems.”
Sitting there wiping away the beads of sweat dancing on my face, I did the math. Now I am 47. Another 8 years of perimenopause makes it 55. Another eight years of menopausal woes make it 63 years. What does it leave me with to enjoy? Is this some kind of a joke God is choosing to play on womankind? If yes, then he can certainly have His last laugh” I walked out of the doctor’s cabin armed with a long prescription of supplements. Ironically whenever a problem creeps up the first person, I blame is God.
There are days when my heartbeat sounds louder than the beats of a drum. My moods are obstinate enough to dance to its beats. It swings higher than the giant swings dangling in amusement parks. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I sometimes wonder where the copious supply of tears is stored and how they know the exact moment to flow down my cheeks. I toss and turn in bed every night and if this could be considered an exercise, I would be burning more calories than I consume.
An emptiness has slowly made its way into my heart. I feel lost at times like I have been blindfolded and left in the forest and I am not able to find my way out.
Earlier I would wonder how time flew. From 5 in the morning to 11 at night I used to be on my toes, cooking, cleaning, tutoring, taking my daughter to her classes, and visiting my parents. But now everything seems to move in a slow and lean way.
I thought long and hard to find myself out of this sticky situation.
Recently I read about actress Shamita Shetty voicing her concerns about going through perimenopause. It made me feel good. No! don’t get me wrong. The reason for feeling good is understanding that I have someone for company.
Women can never be caught discussing their health issues. The ‘How are you? is always met with polite answers like I am ok, I am fine, I am alright. We are conditioned to bear period pains, labor pains, and all other pains that come our way by gritting our teeth. Sadly, it’s not ok, it’s not fine and it’s not alright to brush things under the carpet.
I feel talking about it could bring about awareness and also make one feel better. One (wo)man’s medicine could be another (wo)man’s medicine too.
I started digging deep into menopause and its repercussions. The more I dug the more information I unearthed. At the end of the excavations, I learned that there is certainly no cure for menopausal issues but a few lifestyle changes could make the swim across the hormonal tide seem easier.
Only after my daughter left home to pursue higher studies did I realize that I should have scooped out a few hours every day for myself. Waiting for nearly 20 years to do something for myself was a huge mistake. Once bitten twice shy. I certainly don’t want to make the same mistake again.
This time I want to be the one to say “Boo” to all my woes. I have decided to concentrate on taking up writing as a career. As they say, it’s never too late to start. If I could take all the bulls that have barged into my life by its horns, I can handle this too.
No more blaming games and no more cribbing. By tweaking small lifestyle changes I choose to (Meno)pause in peace.
My nest may be empty but the echoes of a life well-lived will reverberate in it forever.
Image source: a still from English Vinglish
At 33, Rekha, once an assistant professor and dietician, is now a successful entrepreneur. Her personal health breakthrough paved the way for InstaEats, a business aimed at helping people manage their lifestyle diseases with a personalized superfood blend. However, without adequate capital, her entrepreneurial dream would have remained just that.
In this WomensWebXMahilaMoney impact series, we bring you entrepreneurs like Sonu Davar who had not just the ambition to grow, but took the steps needed to bring their dreams to fruition. Apply for a loan of up to 25 lakhs to fuel your business growth by downloading the Mahila Money App on Google Playstore or visiting the website here.
With the help of a Mahila Money loan, Rekha was able to turn her personal vulnerability into a flourishing entrepreneurial pursuit, resulting in an annual turnover of over eight lakhs.
When COVID-19 struck, Rekha’s husband’s fitness business had to shut down. She helped him curate diet plans for his clients. “It was a challenging time for the family, especially since I was diagnosed with PCOS.” Despite the setbacks, Rekha, a post-graduate in food and science technology, was determined to find a way to stay strong.
“My success in reversing my own PCOS and helping my sister-in-law manage her thyroid levels with a personalized superfood blend was a transformative moment. It inspired me to share my knowledge and expertise with others facing similar health challenges.
That’s how the idea of InstaEats was born.
I was aiming to simplify healthy eating, making it affordable and accessible for all. However, I knew that the missing piece of the puzzle was ‘CAPITAL’. And I started looking for options to arrange funds”, shared Rekha with conviction.
Despite her knowledge and determination, accessing credit and mobilizing the capital needed to grow her business was a significant hurdle for Rekha. However, she found a ray of hope in Mahila Money.
Rekha says, “I’m glad to have found Mahila Money that supports women entrepreneurs in launching their business. Addressing financial needs with business finance education and community support is a cherry on top.”
Rekha shares, “The idea of InstaEats was just brewing when I came across the platform. It was as if the universe had planned things for me.” Wasting no time, Rekha applied for a loan of 2 lakhs in Feb 2022, and she invested the funds immediately in manufacturing the products. InstaEats was officially launched in September 2022.
Since then, Rekha’s entrepreneurial journey has been nothing short of remarkable. Sharing her success, Rekha exclaimed, “By the end of February 2023, InstaEats had an annual turnover of above eight lakhs! This support has been a game-changer for me.”
Once InstaEats was up and running, Rekha’s next challenge was marketing her products to a wider audience. While she had already received positive feedback from friends and family and had some success with word-of-mouth marketing, she knew that expanding her reach would require additional funding.
Fortunately, Rekha’s timely repayment of her ongoing loan led to an exciting opportunity. “Mahila Money offered a top-up loan since I had consistently paid my EMIs. I was overjoyed and accepted a loan of 90K for marketing,” recalls Rekha. She goes on to express her gratitude for the support she’s received, “They have been my savior and have helped me every step of the way. I can’t thank the team enough.”
With her products
With the additional funding, Rekha is confident in achieving even greater success. “I’m aiming for an annual turnover of 2.5 crores, and I have my fingers crossed,” she says optimistically. As her business grows, she remains driven to expand her knowledge and skills. She has enrolled in entrepreneurial programs and financial literacy courses to equip herself with advanced business skills.
Rekha applauds Mahila Money’s trailblazing support for women entrepreneurs, including those in rural areas. “For promotion and valuing women’s business ideas, I now actively recommend the platform to entrepreneurs like me, including my mother who runs a preschool in a rural village.I believe that when women are supported and given confidence to #JiyoApneDumPe, they can achieve anything.”
Rekha’s business journey is testament to the power of determination and support. Her story exemplifies how the right capital solutions and guidance can turn a budding entrepreneur’s dreams into reality.
If you are a #JiyoApneDumPe woman entrepreneur who wants to take your business to new heights and needs working capital and entrepreneurship resources, get in touch with the Mahila Money team today.
Yesterday, at the age of 55, I finally accepted that I don’t like to cook! And I stated it in exact words to my husband!
However, it took me so many years to declare it openly! My husband replied with a grin, “I always knew it! God knows why you tried to prove that you did!”
The journey of not enjoying cooking hasn’t been easy. Being mocked at by relatives during my teen and youth days, laughed at by extended family for not being able to cook the way they wanted and mainly, the fear of not being accepted by society for my dislike, has taken its toll.
I had to go through only one ordeal when some family came to “see” me for marriage for their son. It began with the question by the boy’s sister, “Do you know how to cook!” This put me off so much, that I decided that I would not go for an arranged marriage at all
After my wedding (naturally, my choice), I was busy in the kitchen on the first day, trying to knead the flour and failing miserably, when my husband came and did it in 5 minutes. I was a girl and didn’t enjoy cooking, but he as a guy did. What was wrong with that?
The miserable thing was societal pressure. How can a girl not cook? I bowed to the pressure and began to learn. Nothing is impossible and I did begin to cook well, but I never enjoyed it. I kept cooking with zeal till my daughter was staying with me. The moment she was gone, I stopped cooking. And finally, dared to accept it.
A girl may not like cooking, and friends, do accept it! After all, I am good at so many things – I am a confident woman putting on too many hats and successful in so many things. So what if I don’t enjoy cooking? And yes, I do cook when it’s a necessity!
Image source: a still from The Great Indian Kitchen
The classic film Ek Chitthi Pyar Bhari (1985) which translates to “A Letter Full of Love” is written by a very cute little girl named Bulbul asking God to send her father who she has never seen or heard from. It is a sublime story with a full range of emotions that will teach you many significant lessons in life and leave you with a heart full of compassion and love. In conjunction, this film educates the audience on child development and their overall psychology, especially for new parents or parents-to-be. The film is directed by Vijay Sadanah and stars the wonderful legends as well as popular on-screen duo Reena Roy and Raj Babbar in leading roles followed by Jagdeep, Ramesh Deo, Seema Deo, Sulochana Latkar, and Baby Bulbul.
The story is as follows:
Aarti Saxena who was raised in an Ashram in rural India, gets married to a well-to-do family. Unfortunately, her husband dies after their Suhaag-raat (Nuptial night) leaving her pregnant and her in-laws hold her guilty for killing her husband.
Not knowing what else to do, she ends up leaving her in-laws place and almost attempts suicide. A benevolent boarding school teacher (Seema Deo) traveling in a bus with her students rescues her and takes her to the hospital. This woman further motivates her to fight life and live for the sake of her unborn child. Hence, Aarti studies to become a nurse while being a doting single mother to her daughter. This classic tale does a fine job of projecting the triumphs and perseverance of a young single mother, especially in an era where they are represented to be the most vulnerable members in society.
As the story progresses, we encounter Kamal Nath (Ramesh Deo), a wicked man living in society as a well-regarded individual who gets admitted as a patient in Aarti’s hospital. He has his eyes set on Aarti since she is so young and extremely beautiful. Aarti has been assigned a night shift on the night of Diwali and this is the horrible night in which Kamal Nath tries to molest her when she comes to take care of him as his nurse. Thankfully, Aarti escapes by hitting him hard on the head with a vase. After being falsely blamed while being a victim of calumny by Kamal Nath for hitting him on the head when he was asking for assistance, Aarti gets fired from the hospital. Again, the world is shown to be excessively cruel towards women and a single remark made by men serves as the ultimate symbol of veracity.
To further add to Aarti’s agony, she ends up getting blacklisted from the Nursing Association without committing any crime. It pains me to see how brutally innocent women were treated in a male-dominated society in which the woman is always the one bearing the brunt of malevolent men.
Unfortunately, this tag of being “blacklisted” will prevent her from seeking employment elsewhere creating a massive amount of difficulty in raising Bulbul as a single mother.
The Grocery vendor enters as a ray of hope for Aarti as he is the one who informs her of an advertisement he spotted in the newspaper. The advertisement is seeking a qualified nurse in Dr. Sunil Sharma’s nursing home, but the requirements are that the nurse should be unmarried and not have kids. This is the complete contrast of who Aarti is, and her landlord advises her to send Bulbul to boarding school and to apply for this job offer. Bulbul is playing with her doll and ends up listening to the conversation.
The simple thought of separating her beloved daughter from her fills her with tears and she cannot imagine doing this just to get a job. Bulbul ends up acting very strong and mature for her age and willingly tells her mother that she is ready to go to boarding school. It is impressive how maturity tends to arise in some children exposed to financial hardship and single parenting.
Hence, she visits the boarding school of Seema Deo (the woman who rescued her when she was found unconscious after being thrown out of her in-law’s home) who encouraged her to face life with a smile and continue living for the sake of the child.
Bulbul ends up acting in front of her mother by saying that there are so many kids and swings here that she can play with. Right after her mother leaves teary-eyed, she ends up releasing bursts of tears holding her favorite doll close to her heart. Honestly, no person can ever take the place of a mother because a mother understands her child the best.
The bus that was supposed to take Aarti to Dr. Sunil Sharma’s nursing home stops functioning and she ends up asking for a ride from a young handsome intelligent man. Guess what, this man is none other than Dr. Sunil Sharma (Raj Babbar), himself!
Dr. Sunil Sharma (Raj Babbar) strategically conducts both an oral and practical interview of Aarti once he discovers that she needs to go to his nursing home for the nursing job interview. His lively voice is worth listening to as he adds an extra layer of rejuvenating candor to each dialogue he renders.
In fact, Aarti pours her heart out during this oral interview in which she replies to one of his questions by saying: “Meri ek chotisi duniya hai jisme maariz aur dard ke siva kuch bhi nahi.” To translate: I have a small world in which there are only patients and pain.
This is the type of nurse Sunil is looking for and this sets the stage for the second part of the interview. The practical interview occurs in the way in which he suddenly starts gasping for oxygen making it seem like he’s having a heart attack. This scene tugs at the heartstrings and adds the much-needed comic relief to this forlorn tale of mother-child separation and their never-ending struggles. Being the exceptional nurse Aarti truly is, she manages to leave an indelible mark on Sunil’s mind by passing the practical interview with flying colors!
Upon receiving the job offer, Aarti ends up conversing with Sunil regarding the boisterous and disorganized environment she observed once she entered his nursing home. It was refreshing to watch this funny banter between the doctor and his newly appointed nurse. Below are the details of their conversation:
Aarti: “Yahan kisi cheez ki kami nahi hai, kami hai toh discipline aur dekh rekh ki.” (There is no equipment lacking here. The only thing lacking are discipline and proper care). “Issi liye yeh hospital kam aur dharamshala zyaada lagta hai. Shayad yeh sab baaton ke liye aap ke paas waqt nahi hai.” (This is why this place looks more like a spiritual dwelling rather than a hospital).
Sunil: “Exactly Ms. Aarti. Mushkil se hafte mein doh teen din yahan rehe paata hoon. Baki din Lonavala aur baki ke aas paas ke gaon mein visit ke liye jaana parta hai. Issi liye mujhe aise nurse ki jaroorat hai joh yahan ki tamam zimmedari sambhal sake.” (With great difficulty, I’m able to stay in this clinic 2-3 days a week. The rest of the days I must go visit Lonavala and other nearby villages. Therefore, I needed such a nurse who can handle all the significant responsibilities here).
Aarti: “Mein puri koshish karungi.” (I will try my best).
Sunil: “Toh theek hai… aaj se ye na cheez ka bhavishya aapke haath mein hai.” (Ok then, from today the responsibility of this hospital’s future lies in your hands).
Aarti: “Aur mera suitcase abhi tak aap ki car mein hai.” (And my suitcase is still in your car!).
At the boarding school, we see the constant tears of sadness dripping from Bulbul’s innocent eyes. Not only is she crying for her mom, but she is also crying and asking God to please send her father to her. Aarti is also shedding tears at work and destiny confronts her with a young girl just like Bulbul when she is admitted at the hospital also crying because her parents left her alone in a boarding school. She wants to go to her mom. Unlike Aarti, this child’s parents are wealthy and are currently in London and Kashmir enjoying their life.
She then takes her outside to show her “Chanda Mama.” She ends up narrating a sweet but painful story via the lugubrious song “Yeh Hamari Tumhari Kahani.” Dr. Sunil Sharma is still awake and hears her singing. He instantly gets smitten by her and a very delightful chemistry is displayed between the two. It was indeed a treat to the eyes to observe a romantic bond forming between a doctor and a sedulous nurse which is quite common in today’s world!
Their mellifluous conversation goes as follows:
Sunil: “Aarti yeh konsi waje ho sakti hai jiski liye tumne aaj tak shaadi nahi ki.” (Aarti, what could possibly be the reason as to why you haven’t married yet?)
Aarti: “Shaadi kar leti toh yahan naukri kaise milti.” (If I had gotten married, then how would I have gotten the job here?)
Aarti: “Aap ko aise nurse chahiye thi jis paar koi zimmedari na ho. Ek baat puchu aapse.” (You had wanted such a nurse who has no responsibility. Can I ask you something?).
Sunil: “Ha pucho.” (Yes, ask me).
Aarti: “Aakhir aapne aisi sharth kyun rakhi. Kya shaadi shuda yeh family wali ladkiyaan nursing nahi kar sakti.” (After all, why did you put forth such a condition? Are women who are already married and have a family not capable of being a good nurse?)
Sunil: “Zaroor kar sakti hai Aarti. Lekin itni lagaan se nahi.” (They can certainly do so, Aarti. But not with a lot of dedication).
Aarti: “Mein iss baat ko nahi maanti.” (I don’t agree with this point!)
Sunil: “Dekho Aarti, tum mano ya na mano. Lekin meri baat ka sabse bari sapoot toh khud tum ho. Dekho na din raat ek kar ke tumne ye hospital ko sanwara hai. Kitna apnapaan hai tumhari har kaam mein. Aur yeh sirf iss liye ke tum akeli ho. Tumhara koi nahin.” (Look Aarti, whether you agree or not. But the biggest proof behind my words is you! Look at the fact that you glorify this hospital with your effort’s day and night. You have a lot of affection in all your work. And this is only because you are alone. You have nobody).
His feelings for her are automatically revealed in front of his mother (Sulochana Latkar) when he merrily talks about her, her competence as a nurse, how she has managed taking care of the hospital with full discipline and affection while he is out working at his other clinic. His mother wants him to get married but he does not want to at the moment. Hence, his mother arrives at the clinic to see Aarti and requests her to convince Sunil to get married. She further gives her two golden bangles as a young woman’s hands should never be empty. She says to accept it as her medical fees with high hopes shining bright in her aged eyes.
As Aarti works on the task given to her by Sunil’s mother, the harmonious song “O Tune Di Awaaz” sung by the legendary Asha Bhosle and Manhar Udhas plays as Sunil starts daydreaming of romance with Aarti. The organic romanticized chemistry between both are soul-stirring and the beatific lyrics persuades you to believe in the enduring strength of love. Their natural chemistry is indeed the product of their multiple collaborations together as co-actors.
O Tune Di Awaaz Toh Jaga Mere Dil Mein Pyaar (O You called me, and love has arisen in my heart)
Pyaar Bina Soona Tha Mera Bhi Sansaar (Without your love, even my life was empty)
Pyaar Se Badhke Duniya Mein Kuchh Bhi Nahin (There is nothing greater than love in this world)
Kuch Bhi Na Tha Jeevan Mein (There was nothing left in life)
Chain Kaha Tha Mere Maan Mein (There was no peace in my mind)
Tu Layi Hai Bahare (You brought in abundant happiness)
Tu hi Tu hai Chaman Mein (You and you are in the flowers)
Mujhe Tera Pyaar Mila Hai (I got your love)
Dil Ko Karaar Mila Hai (The heart got respite)
Dilkash Yaar Mila Hai (Breathtaking partner I got)
O Mujhe Dildar Mila Hai (O I got a beloved)
O Ek Taraf Sari Duniya (On one hand is the entire world)
Ek Taraf Hai Yaar (On on hand is my beloved)
Yaar Se Badke Duniya Mein Kuchh Bhi Nahin (There is nobody greater than my beloved in the entire world)
Pyar Se Badke Duniya Mein Kuchh Bhi Nahin (There is nothing greater than love in this world)
Now back to reality at Bulbul’s school, the other girls are teasing Bulbul by constantly nagging her by asking where your father is? while they are showing off their toys their father bought for them. She then comes up with an idea to write a letter to Bhagwanji (God) after she sees her teacher asking her assistant to write a letter to Meena’s father in England stating that she is happy and received the toys from him. Bulbul is asking for her father to come see her and bring a doll for her.
Whether you call it a twist of fate or the director’s masterstroke, Dr. Sunil Sharma arrives at the post office to pick up the parcel with medicines when the staff are discussing this rather puzzling letter directed to God. He ends up opening the letter and reads it.
The pure soul he is, he smiles while reading the letter and feels bad that the child does not have a father.
Below are the pertinent details of the adorable letter:
“Chiranjeevi Bhagwanji,
Mere papa ko aap kyun legaye
Une jalti se mere paas bhejdo
Nahin toh dekhna phir saab bacchon ke papa gudiyan laate hai
Mere ko bhi ek gudiya bhejdo”
-Bulbul
After reading this letter, Sunil utters “Kitni pyaar bhari chitti hai.”
To Translate: Dear God, why did you take my father away? Please send him to me ASAP. If not, then see how all the kids receive a doll from their fathers. Please send me a doll!). He then decides to send the girl a doll so that she can be happy and keep her belief intact.
Bulbul starts beaming with ebullient happiness once the postman delivers the doll to her and she goes around telling all the other girls that her father sent her a doll! According to decades of research in the field of Child Psychology, the first five years of a child’s life are deemed as the most “critical” phase for physical and psychological development. During these five years, children learn to explore their surroundings, trust others within their social orbit, begin to form meaningful connections with others besides their parents, and experience increased cognitive and reasoning abilities.
Furthermore, the expectations of both Sunil and his mother goes down the drain as Aarti ends up refusing to get married to Sunil due to her unconventional circumstances. This leaves Sunil and his mother disappointed. Then, Sunil receives another letter from Bulbul but this time it is a sincere wish to see her father and not just a doll.
So, he decides to visit Bulbul’s boarding school as his father and his heart melts seeing this cherubic girl playing with the doll he sent. It was an absolute delight to observe the affectionate and playful relationship between a father and his daughter. Truly, a father is usually the first male best friend a young girl can ever have, and their bond made me reminisce about my special bond with my dad.
Near the end of the film, the villain (Kamal Nath) re-enters as a patient in Dr. Sunil’s hospital! Upon seeing Aarti, he reveals everything about her bitter past leaving Sunil and his mother shocked.
Ashamed of her murky past, she resigns and heads off to see Bulbul at her boarding school. Here, she sees photos of all those lovable moments Bulbul spent with Sunil who she believes is her father sent from God. Unfortunately, tragedy strikes when Bulbul’s bus meets with an accident. By the grace of God, Sunil performs a successful operation and saves Bulbul’s life!
As the climax unfolds, Aarti ends up saving the life of Kamal Nath who experiences both liver and stomach pain caused by excessive drinking of alcohol before Sunil arrives via the administration of an injection. This further highlights the virtuous woman Aarti really is because not all women would have the stamina to be able to save the life of a vile human being who literally destroyed her flourishing career. Again, Reena Roy emerges as an exceptional actress who has earned critical acclaim for her range of versatility and strong author-backed roles. Kamal Nath then ends up asking Aarti for forgiveness, realizing the gravity of his crime and desire to atone for his sin before he passes away. Seeing this softens Sunil’s heart even more and he cannot imagine a life without her and Bulbul.
Does Ek Chitthi Pyar Bhari have a happy ending in which Bulbul finally gets the gift of a “perfect family” consisting of her and both her parents? I will leave it up to you to discover the answer to this idyllic question!
For ages, feminist writings have been banned, and feminists censored, primarily because these writings shed light on the pervasive issues of gender inequality and social discrimination. Often, they are tied to the challenge of existing power structures, societal norms, and deeply ingrained biases.
They explore the systemic barriers faced by women and marginalized genders, such as wage gaps, limited access to education, healthcare disparities, and violence against women. They challenge societal stereotypes and biases that perpetuate harmful and limiting ideas about gender roles and identities.
The writings offer critical perspectives that encourage questioning traditional norms and expectations placed on individuals based on their gender. Even online, the conversations are largely in women’s spaces, talking about what women can or should do differently, or what institutional changes need to be made so that women can work with enough flexibility to go home early to cook dinner for their husbands and children.
The answer seemed to always be: “Well, no one can have it all.”
These writings question this very notional conclusion. If “having it all” means having a successful and fulfilling career while being an involved parent, plenty of men actually do have it all.
Feminist writings underscore the diverse experiences, mobilize empathy for the unique challenges faced by females, and amplify the voices, allowing readers to engage with diverse narratives and viewpoints.
In discussing the strategies for activism, they share stories of resilience and resistance that serve as a source of inspiration, providing ideas and motivation for taking action towards gender equality and social justice.
This will eventually aid in fostering a more informed, inclusive, and equitable world-view. It equips you with knowledge and insights that enable you to challenge the status quo, advocate for gender equality, and contribute to creating a more just and inclusive society for all.
From quick flicks to leisure reads, here are some timeless feminist writings that have had a significant impact on feminist discourse:
Adichie’s written account explores the importance of feminism in contemporary society and the need to continue the fight for gender equality.
Crenshaw discusses the concept of intersectionality and how it is essential to consider the different experiences of women based on their race, class, and other social identities within feminist discourse.
In her write-up, Watson highlights the significance of engaging men as allies in the feminist movement and how their involvement can contribute to dismantling patriarchal structures.
Michelle in this column explores the intersection of reproductive rights and feminism, discussing issues such as access to contraception, abortion, and maternal healthcare.
Calarco’s article examines the gender wage gap and challenges the common misconceptions surrounding this issue, providing evidence to debunk the notion that it is solely a result of gender discrimination.
The article explores the relationship between feminism and body positivity, emphasizing the need to challenge beauty standards and promote self-acceptance for all body types.
Katz delves into the connection between feminism and combating violence against women, highlighting the importance of addressing the root causes of gender-based violence.
Sarkeesian’s account discusses the portrayal of women in media and the ways in which feminist analysis can help critique and challenge harmful stereotypes and tropes.
This groundbreaking work, published in 1949, explores the concept of womanhood and the societal construction of gender, examining the ways in which women have been historically oppressed.
Published in 1963, Friedan’s book is often credited with sparking the second wave of feminism. It examines the dissatisfaction and lack of fulfilment experienced by many middle-class American women and critiques the societal expectations placed upon them.
It is time for you to read these timeless pieces and prompt discourses that dismantle patriarchal narratives, continue to shape feminist discourse, and inspire discussions on gender equity.
It’s a misty Sunday morning. The sun is up, yet the city seems to be sleeping. The streets are quieter, and there’s a sense of tranquility in the air. Sundays are usually the days where everyone like to take that extra hour of sleep and take their day at slightly slower pace. However, it’s a completely different situation for members of Raahi, the heritage walk club of Miranda House.
The members of Raahi, donned in their cozy and layered outfits, have assembled in Chandni Chowk and are ready to take their heritage walk with Shalini, their president. Although slightly nervous, she joyfully proclaims, “I am really looking forward to leading this walk.” As everyone reaches the vibrant market of Delhi, she is ready to guide the walk.
India has always been home to a diverse group of people who have co-existed together, mostly harmoniously. The country is home to the major world religions such as Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, Sikhism, Buddhism, and Jainism, among many others. This religious diversity has been a source of both strength and resilience for the nation, fostering a unique blend of traditions and practices that have evolved over centuries.
However, in recent times, this rich tapestry of India has seen strains of religious disharmony. Post 2014, the country has seen a rise of identity politics and communalism which has led to the tensions between different religious communities. Along with this, incidents of religious intolerance and discrimination has been on rise.
Amidst the escalating cases of communal violence in India, people seem to have forgotten the common history that binds them together. Whether it was the Indian Rebellion of 1857 or the Civil Disobedience Movement, the great moments in Indian history were only possible because of the unity between people.
In the face of these challenges, Heritage walks stand out as a ray of hope. These walks are guided by an archeologist or a scholar and encompass people from different backgrounds who come together in order to quench their thirst for knowledge. These heritage walks offers a way for people from different communities to begin dialogue and try to mitigate their differences. “I feel it’s very important that people from different religious background talk to each other. I think it will help to clear many doubts” said Riddhi, a member of Raahi.
Recently, Raahi, the heritage walk club of Miranda House took a walk to Chandni chowk in Delhi. Apart from being one of the popular wholesale marketplaces in India, Chandni Chowk is home to people belonging to different communities along with their religious places, often named as ‘mini India.’ Their walk began at Lahori Darwaza, weaving its way through popular religious sites such as Digambar Jain Mandir, Gauri Shankar Mandir, and Sheeshganj Gurudwara, concluding at Fatehpuri Masjid. “Conducting a walk in the bustling streets of Chandni chowk was only to arouse the feeling of oneness among the participants. I wanted to show that people from different religions can live together peacefully just like they still do in Chandni Chowk,” said Shalini.
When people from diverse backgrounds come together to walk together through ancient streets and listen to stories of the past, a common bond is forged. These shared experiences help in creating a sense of oneness, breaking down stereotypes and prejudices that may have been fueled by contemporary issues. “When we go to any monument, we make sure that people understand the complete history behind it. Sometimes, it may be different than what people know through the media which often biased and deprived of facts” said Shalini.
Recalling an incident which happened during the walk, Riddhi tells that after they visited the Gauri Shankar temple, they had to visit the Fatehpuri Masjid too. However, some of them were adorned with ‘Tilaks’ and ‘Kalavas.’ However, they werent stopped from entering the Masjid to which she says “I realised how we have some preconceived notions about somethings. This incident made me realise about my own prejudices about certain religions.” Thereby, by delving into the rich history of India, participants of such heritage walks transcend the invisible religious boundaries that often bind them.
While heritage walks are a positive step towards mitigating religious animosity and promoting religious harmony, it is also essential to recognize that these might not be enough. Changes need to be brought at the ground level where the root causes of religious tensions need to be addressed and inclusivity should also be promoted.
There is also a need for more educational initiatives that emphasize the shared history and values of different religious traditions that can be instrumental in fostering a sense of unity among the younger generation. “If more and more young people join such heritage walks, I feel we can surely bring a positive change.” said Riddhi.
Fresh into the new year, I acquired an iota of knowledge courtesy of the Washington Post. Actually, it was quite enlightening, considering the fact that I am so poorly educated in social media vocabulary! I got to know a new acronym: JOMO, which breaks down to the “joy of missing out”.
The article I came across offered a brilliant piece of advice about how we can bid goodbye to FOMO (“fear of missing out”) and instead embrace JOMO.
The anxiety of missing out on what is or could be happening around you is not at all a new ailment. From the time we have grasped the basics of social interactions, we have come across those nosy, inquisitive individuals who always want to be a part of every single activity that is happening around them. The only difference is that we now have a formal nomenclature to describe this state of affairs!
Socializing definitely has its advantages, and it is always a joy to catch up with friends and relatives and to know what is going on at their end. However, it is not necessary that you need to be a part of every single gathering.
If you sometimes skip a party or two, you are not missing too much in life. Instead, you can grab the opportunity to explore how you can utilize your time better.
It is true that social media has bridged distances, and thanks to it, we have come in contact with long-lost relatives and friends. But do try to resist the temptation of being obsessed with monitoring their SM accounts 24/7 in order to be apprised of every single detail of their lives. You do not need all of their information to give a shape to your existence, so relinquish that fear of missing out.
The advent of social media has revolutionized our lives in ways hard to imagine. Private lives have become way too public, and too much is out in the open. Sharing is caring as they say, but problems arise when things go overboard.
Human beings have the tendency of comparing themselves with others, and often the inclination is to assess what they do not have. This has a negative impact on one’s self-esteem and breeds the grounds for anxiety and frustration, not to mention the jealous monster that sometimes rears its ugly head. Rather than competing with others, why not try to be the best you can be?
Take the opportunity to discover yourself. You may have wasted way too much time socializing. Slow down and see if there is something more creative that you could have done. You may have hidden talents that you are totally unaware of. Also, you will realize that there are activities that you have pushed to the back burner simply because you have spent too much time succumbing to peer pressure. Remember that it is not antisocial to take some time for your own well-being.
The brain needs rest. Stress is a problem so often heard of these days. It is because people push themselves more than their bodies can take. Adequate sleep guarantees optimal functioning of the brain. It is foolish to assume that you can work forty hours a week, party like crazy the entire weekend, and then perform at a high-efficiency level.
Mindfulness needs to be practiced for your emotional and physical health. It is the basic human ability to be fully present in the moment. We need to be aware of where we are and what we are doing without being distracted or overwhelmed by what is going on around us. Taking a walk in nature, meditating for a few minutes, or listening to relaxing music helps to restore balance and calm the senses.
Don’t worry that the world will fall apart if you stay away from the phone, the Internet, or your social media apps once in a while. Panic and confusion greeted the world on October 4, 2021 when there was a social media outage and Facebook, Instagram, Messenger, and WhatsApp were globally unavailable to users for about 6 hours.
A study conducted after this incident came up with the findings that although people did encounter feelings of FOMO initially, they felt better thinking that the effects were worldwide. It is also interesting to learn that there were positive responses as well when respondents talked about experiencing a version of the joy of missing out.
Happiness is what we can create for ourselves. JOMO is essentially finding contentment through a process of self-discovery. While we live as civilized members of the society and maintain connections with its members, we also need to set our own priorities. It is up to us to strike the right balance and to realize that we are being authentic and true to ourselves without feeling any outward pressure.
So make your choice. You do not have to be everywhere all the time. Make a conscious decision, and be amazed to see how the joy of missing out is the gateway to genuine happiness.
Navigating the unseen journey: challenges faced by mothers of special needs children in India
Motherhood is a journey marked by joy, love, and sacrifices. However, for mothers of special needs children in India, the journey is often fraught with unique challenges that demand resilience, understanding, and unwavering commitment.
Nurturing a child with special needs can be emotionally, physically, and financially draining as mothers grapple with a myriad of obstacles that are both societal and systemic.
One of the foremost challenges faced by mothers of special needs children in India is the prevailing lack of awareness and understanding surrounding disabilities. Societal stigma can be crippling, leading to isolation and feelings of inadequacy for both the mother and the child.
In many cases, well-meaning but misinformed attitudes can perpetuate stereotypes, making it difficult for mothers to advocate for their children and access the necessary support.
The support systems for families with special needs children in India are frequently inadequate. Educational institutions, healthcare facilities, and community services may lack the necessary infrastructure and trained personnel to cater to the unique needs of these children.
Mothers are left navigating a complex web of bureaucracy and red tape to secure essential services such as special education, therapies, and assistive devices.
Raising a child with special needs can be financially draining. The costs associated with therapy sessions, medical treatments, and specialized education can accumulate rapidly. Moreover, many mothers find it challenging to balance the demands of caregiving with employment, leading to a loss of income.
The lack of financial assistance and employment opportunities for parents of special needs children exacerbates the economic burden they bear.
Accessibility remains a significant challenge for mothers of special needs children in India. Public spaces, transportation, and recreational facilities are often ill-equipped to accommodate individuals with disabilities.
This not only restricts the mobility of the children but also adds an extra layer of stress for mothers who constantly face logistical challenges in providing their children with enriching experiences.
Caring for a child with special needs takes an immense emotional toll on mothers. The constant worry about the child’s well-being, coupled with the societal pressure to conform to unrealistic expectations, can lead to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.
The emotional burden is exacerbated by the dearth of mental health support tailored to the unique needs of mothers in this situation.
While the challenges faced by mothers of special needs children in India are substantial, there is hope for change. Increased awareness, de-stigmatization efforts, improved support systems, and enhanced accessibility can contribute to a more inclusive and compassionate society.
Policymakers, healthcare professionals, educators, and communities must come together to address these challenges and pave the way for a brighter, more inclusive future for special needs children and their mothers in India.
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