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As a young girl, I yearned for my parents’ validation, especially from my mother. All I wanted was for her to look at me and say she loved me and accepted me for who I was.
I knew I wasn’t the type of girl who fit into society’s expectations of what it means to be feminine, such as the way we sit, stand, walk, talk, and behave. I fell short of those standards. To earn my mother’s validation, I decided to do what she expected of me, including taking the job she wanted me to have and getting married. However, nothing felt right until I realised that this wasn’t who I was, and she needed to accept me for who I am.
I took a big step and quit my career and marriage because they didn’t feel authentic to me. I had no idea what to do next, but I knew I didn’t want to live for anyone else’s validation. My mother even kicked me out of the house when she found out, but I knew that the little girl inside of her wasn’t happy either. She, too, was living for someone else’s validation and approval. She didn’t have the love and acceptance that I had been seeking from her.
So, I decided to move on in life and share my experiences with the world. I wanted to showcase how it feels to live a life where you are not accepted, versus living a life where you are accepted for who you are, your authentic self. When we live authentically, we don’t do things to please or displease anyone else. We do what feels right for us.
Life gives us choices, and we need to choose what we want to live with. Every choice we make has rewards and consequences associated with it, and we must accept them in their entirety. When life’s undesirable things happen to us, we can become bitter and resentful towards people. However, we need to remember that not everything we desire is good for us. If we got everything we wanted, life would be a mess.
In conclusion, we must all learn to accept and love ourselves for who we are, and not live for anyone else’s validation.
Image source: screenshot from Tamil short film Maa
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‘Should I show something in a different range then?’ Shakil was exhausted. All he wanted was to catch the last local home. The heat was killer, sweat dripping off his forehead despite the AC being on.
But what good could the AC do if the door to the showroom was mostly propped open, and the crowd got thicker by the minute? The season post-Covid was supposed to be a blessing – all the pent-up demand now that Omicron had positively immunized everyone and therefore, no wave was to be feared ever again. However, every blessing is a curse in disguise and vice versa…
‘No. Price range needs to be the same.’ Aunty ji was firm.
Thankfully, Shakil had mastered the art of sighing under his breath with a smile fixed on his lips. ‘Ji Ji, of course,’ Shakil eyed Sharma ji who in turn eyed him back. That eye of Sharma ji’s meant to show the customer expensive stuff no matter what they are saying. Once they are hooked, they can be reeled in to change their minds, and of course, there was a buffer that could be negotiated down. Win-win. The customer gets the satisfaction of a bargain and a sale happens.
“Varun is not going to even listen to this. Let alone do it. I barely brought up the simple matter of privacy —when his parents visit, they take over Kiran’s room. So, she then takes the study—which is a big sacrifice making I am anyway because I work from the study. But the study is right next to our bedroom…”
‘Priya, which one do you want?’ Neeru was a bit tired at this point. Priya’s issues with her in-law’s visits were more stale than some of the bandhani sarees they had been shown. This was as predictable as Diwali happening, an event in which Priya and Varun were blessed by Varun’s parents’ extended stay visit.
‘No green. Absolutely no green.’ Priya pushed away what was placed in front of her.
‘That doesn’t answer the question though, which one do you want then if not these?’
‘The matter of privacy is something he should understand, right? This would be us going without sex for 6 months.’
Neeru side-eyed the saree people, poor guys…
‘And what did Varun do? He got up and left. Just got up and left. Did I insult his parents? Did I say anything remotely offensive toward them? No. I was talking about us. But that’s the problem – when they come, there’s no us.’
Shakil knew that there would be no decision made soon. Madam had lost all interest in seeing the sarees, let alone judging them. He could put his bum down on the gaddi to catch a small respite for his tired legs, which usually served the additional purpose of immediately jolting the customer back into saree-buying mode. Nothing more motivating than a salesman appearing to slack.
But he didn’t want to. This was more important. And interesting. And tonight he was in a rush himself.
‘Priya listen, make up your mind and just go stay with your parents for a few days with the kids. Until they leave. This will teach Varun a lesson. He will be begging for you to come back.’
‘Which age are you living in Neeru!’ Priya was exasperated enough to grab the blue georgette lying on the side back into her lap. She needed to fiddle with something. ‘Who leaves their home these days? Mayka going concept is old Bollywood. Why should I leave my home?’
Shakil slowly pushed the blue georgette farther toward her. ‘Should I pack this one then, madam? Georgette is really back in. And the showroom will close soon too…’ Shakil could sense Sharmaji’s eyes burning into his back – he never liked his salespeople to rush customers. The customer would just delay the decision to the next shopping spree if rushed. But Shakil had to risk it.
‘No. Don’t want blue. Georgette is of no worth to me any more, what’s the point? My life is now going to be dry for months.’ She got up abruptly, followed by a relieved Neeru. ‘Will come again tomorrow, bhaiya.’ The latter offered apologetically.
‘It’s a problem of Indian men, I say. Useless and mother’s boys…’
They could hear Priya’s rumbles until the car door slammed close.
Shakil pulled the shutter half close and turned to Sharmaji. He might or might not bash him today, some days he let things slide – even dire matters like losing customers – and today Shakil had requested him in the morning itself. It was his anniversary. He needed to go home a bit early…
‘Go.’ Sharmaji was indeed letting it slide. Shakil grinned ear to ear, voicing his, ‘Thank You’.
‘No need to thank me, go.’
‘Wait.’ Shakil had almost pulled half his body out – he pulled himself back inside. ‘Tell one thing, you stay in one room, right? With your mother and wife? It’s your anniversary, so what? How will you celebrate without privacy?’ Sharmaji grinned suggestively.
‘Sir, we don’t have such complications,’ Shakil grinned back, ‘I put my mother by the railway station on my way to work itself. With a big bottle of water and a loaf of bread. Anyway, she is half senile. She will be there tomorrow morning too, I will pick her back up and drop her home before coming. It’s summertime so no risk of cold. And Amma understands. Haan, will be a bit late coming in tomorrow because of that but have to rush now, please. Otherwise, abandoning old ma by the station will go fruitless.’ Shakil pulled himself back out and rushed into the night.
‘Isn’t that Saree man?’ Neeru pointed out to Priya to distract her monologue. Their car had been stuck at the traffic light and Priya had been on a never-ending rant. Look at how he is sprinting.
Priya glanced out curious, trying to make out the fast-moving silhouette. ‘What does he have to rush to?’ She snickered.
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Image source: CanvaPro
He gently caressed her face setting her body ablaze with his longing eyes. The air was electric with passion. He shifted closer planting a kiss on her luscious lips…
“Preeti! It’s late. Go to sleep!”
“Yes, Bua!”
Preeti didn’t want her aunt to see her reading from a romance site in secret. She was a student of literature at the prestigious ABN college, the same college where Sudeshna Bua taught Sanskrit. Bua was a sprightly woman in her early fifties, a well-respected professor, and extremely popular in her Satsang group. She had never married; she claimed that she had never met the right person. When Preeti’s father got a foreign posting, her parents left her with her aunt, so that she complete her studies without disruption.
Preeti had discovered magicalromance.com by accident and gotten hooked. It featured steamy stories and passionate romances written by an unknown author. The content could rival Mills & Boon’s books with stories that brimmed with poetic dialogues and epic declarations of love. To add to the enigmatic allure of the site, no one knew who the creator was. All they knew was that he went by the name ‘Vishesh Kumar’.
Whoever he was, he certainly knew what women wanted. Vishesh Kumar had a huge fan following in Preeti’s college. One of her friends wanted to marry him. On Instagram, there was even a ‘We love VK’ page. Talking of Insta, Preeti was busy scrolling now.
“Bua, have you heard of the blogsite Women-Web? They are organizing a poetry contest with the theme ‘love’. I am going to attempt the challenge!”
Bua nodded absentmindedly.
***
Three weeks later, Preeti checked the Women-Web page. The winners of the competition had been announced. She hadn’t won, but one name caught her eye.
First-prize winner: Sudeshna Vishwanath, for her poem, ‘On love and loneliness’.
“Wow Bua, you are a Chuppa Rustom! This is amazing! Congratulations!”
Sudeshna blushed. “I must go to my class now. Talk to you later.”
Preeti was excited for her aunt. She would message all her friends. But first, she would savour her aunt’s masterpiece. She clicked the link and froze.
Lonely were my days until you showered me with your love…. like the first rains, my parched Earth quenched its thirst.
Preeti winced.
Where had she read these words before?
She went to magicalromace.com and looked up a story that she had bookmarked. And there it was…. the very same poem! It was part of the a love story series between a lonely princess and a soldier that was earlier published on the site.
Was her aunt guilty of plagiarism? Her blemish-less, could-do-no-wrong, God-fearing aunt? And how did she even access a site like magicalromance.com?
That evening, Preeti found her aunt speaking on the phone. Bua paled and kept vehemently denying something. She disconnected, trembling.
“Bua, what happened?” Preeti demanded.
“It’s the Women-Web team. They are withholding my prize, subject to further investigation. They have received complaints that my poem was written by someone else. They think I cheated.”
She burst into tears.
“I want to show you something.” Preeti clicked open the website. “How is your poem identical to this one?”
Sudeshna wiped her tears. “Preeti, I have to confess something.”
“You copied it in a moment of weakness….”
“What? NO! I would never cheat. This is my poem and my website……I am Vishesh Kumar. My nom-de-plume Vishesh Kumar is derived from my full name, Sudeshna Vishwanath Kumar.”
Preeti gasped.
Her naïve and pure Bua, a sensual writer? It made little sense.
“It started a year ago. I was tidying up your room. You had left behind your romance collection. I read one book, and then another. A part of me insisted that I could write better than this!”
Preeti sighed. It was a common practice to hide trashy novels from young children. But hiding them to protect an aunt from corruption was a first.
“I tried my hand at writing a romance story. I always loved to write when I was younger. My first story read well; I was pleased with my work. Soon, I wrote many stories, and I didn’t know what to do with them. I didn’t want to leave them lying around on paper or have them published because of the risk to my reputation. I didn’t show them to a single soul. That’s when it struck me! Why not a digital collection? Some years ago, I attended a course on web-page development. I created a website and uploaded my stories there so that I would have a personal collection. By mistake, I set the view settings to public. When I woke up the next day, I was astounded that my first story had received 4000 likes and over 100 comments.”
“Wow!”
“The validation has been addictive. I couldn’t stop. I have written over hundreds of stories by now. Sadly, when I submitted to Women-Web, I made a mistake by forgetting that I had used a poem in my story already.”
Preeti was processing her Bua’s revelation.
“Bua, who are you?
“I’m still your same aunt. I love doing pooja, teaching at college, attending satsangs, and talking about culture and tradition. But I also have a side that is romantic and poetic. It is not what is expected of me, But it makes my heart happy.”
Preeti began to understand.
“Everyone around me fits me into boxes. To them, I’m either this or that. I am a teacher, and I am supposed to be a pious soul. God forbid I even touch a romance novel. I am also an aging spinster. If I even mention the word ‘love’, they label me amorous. Why can’t I be both? ”
“Bua, Women don’t come in shades of black and white. Sometimes they come in shades of grey. It’s not a crime- it’s just who you are, and you should own it.”
“If I tell the truth, the news will spread. I may be fired. My clique of friends will ban me. The life I built will be over. If I don’t, I will be labelled a cheater. I don’t know which is worse!” Sudeshna sighed.
“Bua, We can fix this. Just give me the password to your website.”
The next morning, Sudeshna’s phone rang again. She attended the call and rushed to Preeti.
“Preeti, The Women-Web team called. They are reinstating my prize. How did you do it?”
“Look at your website.”
Sudeshna opened the website. On the front page was an announcement banner.
Dear Readers,
This confession is for the team at Women-Web. The poem titled ‘ On Love and Loneliness’ in one of my stories is NOT my original creation. It belongs to a former teacher of mine, Ms. Sudeshna. I used it by mistake because it is one of my favourite poems. Many of you have reached out to me and Women-Web, accusing Ms. Sudeshna of plagiarism. I want to clarify that she is the original author, not me. Apologies for all the confusion caused. I will credit Mdm. Sudeshna in my story as well.
Yours,
Vishesh Kumar.
Sudeshna teared up. “This is brilliant! Thank you, Preeti!”
“No problem, Bua! Perhaps, you need to disclose your secret and come out. You are so talented!”
“I am not sure if the world will accept me for the two personas I carry. But I will come clean, someday. When the world is ready, I will be too.”
My mother had to wage a long battle before she passed away. She was in ICU for almost three-and-a-half months, and then too, she remained bed-ridden for long. When we were almost sure that she would soon be sitting and even walking, she was gone.
For some time, we couldn’t believe it. Then, slowly, we shook hands with truth. Our hearts still ache for her, but we know that these are the harsh realities of life.
At night, she was brought back to my home from hospital. Next day, my sister and I said softly, “We will also light the pyre!”
When the relatives were being informed about death, one of the cousins asked, “Who will be the four people who will carry her body?” My sister told them the name of my brother, two cousins and my husband. He immediately said, “But Jeejaji is a son-in-law!” My sister reprimanded him, “It was at his house that mother has been since a few months. He was more than a son!”
My sister and I had firmly decided to go to the cemetery and light the pyre. Another female cousin remarked, “I wasn’t allowed despite strongly wishing to!”
I wonder why we even bother about these people who don’t “allow” things! Do they really come to help when needed? For six months my sister, brother and I along with our families had been taking care of our mother. Who else could? Then, why ask those supposed “holders of law” about what is to be done?
My husband, sister, brother, his son and I lit the pyre. My sister and I had a feeling that my mother would have preferred this.
Soon the word spread. One or two relatives didn’t turn up for the final puja. But did it matter?
No, it didn’t! After all, they were not the ones around when my sister had left her job to be of help to mother in her last days. They weren’t the ones who were there when I would get up, go to the hospital, then to office, return to the hospital and come home late. They weren’t the ones when my brother, sister and I used to sit with her when her health was at the worst!
Image source: a still from Made in Heaven
So the story begins at when I got my backside pressed inappropriately at my best friend’s 40th birthday party.
Our families have been really close for over a decade, and his house feels like my house. We were there, my whole family – my husband and my child.
We all were dancing, drinking and then out of the blue, one of the men at the party pressed my butt cheek while dancing. I turned around, stared back, and then moved off the dance floor.
As we all women do, my first thought was shock, and the second – did I in any way or fashion entice him? Did I give the wrong impressions somehow?
Yes I enjoy dancing, I enjoy my drink. Is it the fact that a little while back we all were talking about sex and I spoke casually about it?
Is it because I drink whiskey? Was it because I wore a back less dress ? Is it because I have tattoos… my mind raced in so many directions.
He was there with his wife and kids but then why am I feeling embarrassed. I went up to my husband , quietly grabbed our kid and went home. Upon leaving when the host asked why are we leaving, we made an excuse.
The question haunts me still… why did I leave? I had done no wrong! Why did I not say something there and then? Why did I not embarrass him and had him leave?
I also went back in my head and re created the scene so many times and know that I did not propagate the sexual advance.
Today when I think about it. I know why I left cause as women we are taught – not to make a scene, not make a situation awkward.
This same situation happened again when my best friend’s husband tried to kiss me. At a party – believe it or not – his wife and kids in the other room.
I thought I had learnt from my past experience and if this ever happened to me again I would be prepared. But when this happened again, I first judged myself – am I doing something wrong that these things happen to me.
I had raised my voice after the fact on the first incident? I had after fact told my best friends about it. Now to say something again, I knew in my gut everyone would judge me.
“How come these things happen to you only?“
“Don’t say anything! Not worth having to create problems in his marriage!“
“Feel bad for the guys wife but let’s not say anything!“
I can hear all this and more in person and in my head.
Saving his marriage – how did the onus come on me ?
We are now preparing women for so many things. The Me TOO movement made so many women come out and talk but the one thing that isn’t happening is to train us to “make a scene.“
Speak not after the fact but when it happens.
Reduce the shock value of that moment and hold the man accountable and embarrassed instead of judging ourselves.
The truth is we aren’t prepared for ackward and sudden sexual advances in safe places. As women we are constantly taught to be the peace makers of the family. Our mothers taught us that by practice not just preach. The constitution of women is nurtured by the constant saying “it’s ok, let it go, forget about it.”
We are getting there about responding and reacting to unwanted sexual advances or harassment’s from strangers, at bars, public places. And women are getting stronger and out there .
But we are still not prepared to react at unwanted advances in our safe spaces from people that we least expect it from.
I wonder what would it take and how long would it take?
Instead of sending a women to finishing schools and if they do they should be a section of this finishing school teaching women to be brave in shocking situations.
There should be a class to teach us to “make a scene” – when there is an inappropriate advance, instead of holding the scene in silence in your own head. Be brave to hold the peeps accountable there and then .
If someone who has a family is not worried to lose it on his action, then why should a woman at the receiving end of the action feel responsible not to shake matters?
We need to learn to make a scene and not suffer in silence.
In tech, employees often feel intimidated speaking up. These strategies will help boost their confidence and make them feel safe sharing their thoughts.
When employees share their perspectives, thoughts, and opinions in the workplace, everybody wins: people feel more comfortable with one another, there is stronger teamwork, and there is greater innovation.
Why, then, do so few employees speak up?
This problem is heightened in the tech industry. Despite the clear benefits of everybody having and using a voice in software development, many people are reluctant to share their ideas or don’t feel comfortable doing so. One study of a Microsoft business unit found that nearly half of employees surveyed said they speak up about five or fewer topics with their managers.
Given that a variety of perspectives is critical to a thriving tech business, it’s clear that this cannot remain the status quo.
More than 90% of CEOs and CFOs say that improving their corporate culture would increase the overall value of their companies. And yet, work culture is one of the main reasons why employees feel stifled.
The tech industry is a notoriously competitive environment. Such a culture can instil fear and anxiety in employees, even the most competent and self-assured. So, it’s natural that some professionals would worry about saying the wrong thing or being ridiculed to the point where they avoid saying anything at all.
Some employees may not vocalize their opinions simply because they aren’t asked. However, research shows that when workers believe their leader encourages them and solicits their opinions, they are more likely to speak up.
Read more: When Will Indians Be Free Of This Toxic Work Culture?
Of course, personality does play a role in an individual\’s likelihood of asserting themselves in the workplace. In particular, many employees lack the confidence to share their ideas — 40%, according to a study performed in collaboration with the University of North Colorado Social Research lab.
That said, strong management and leadership can override reluctant or introverted personalities. In a supportive environment, even the shyest of employees may be compelled to speak up.
Read more: 3 Steps: How To Increase Your Self-Esteem In The Workplace!
Problems with leadership can stem from numerous sources. For example, some leaders in tech come from business backgrounds rather than tech backgrounds, which can lead to a disconnect between the leader and the team. Team members may worry that a manager or higher-up doesn’t understand their workflow and therefore have trouble vocalizing concerns or ideas.
Some leaders may be focused on continuing to do things the way they have always been done. In other words, they’re stuck in the past — something that can’t happen in an industry that depends on constant innovation. Again, this may lead team members to believe that vocalizing their opinions will do more harm than good with an out-of-touch leader.
These are just some of the many communication issues that can arise with poor leadership.
Read more: Want To Up-Skill? Do It At These BEST Women’s Leadership Programmes In India
Research in the Harvard Business Review found that employees were more likely to share their ideas and opinions at a company whose culture emphasized the idea that people always have a choice.
Thus, organizations should always make it clear that individuals have agency. When this is part of the culture, employees are more likely to speak up and share their thoughts. According to the author of the HBR study, this is likely because employees are able to influence their own environments while expressing their beliefs and values.
Read more: 8 Key Trends For The Future Workplace That HR Leaders In India Want You To Understand
It’s said that there are no bad ideas. Well, that’s not quite true. As we all know, some ideas have greater merit than others. A main reason why employees fear speaking up is that they worry that others will perceive their ideas as stupid.
One way to help boost tech workers’ confidence in their ideas is to help them boost their critical thinking skills. Forty-five percent of employees say there is no training in critical thinking or problem-solving available to them at their organizations. How can we expect individuals to share if they lack the skills necessary to ideate confidently?
By instituting training programs to assist employees with building these important skills, you are helping them gain confidence in their own abilities.
Read more: Supriya Bhuwalka Founded Coding And More To Empower Young Girls
It’s unreasonable to expect employees to make a 180 immediately. Those who have been reluctant to speak up in the past aren’t going to change their ways overnight, even if you believe you have been putting measures in place to encourage their participation. Give them a chance to get comfortable, and don’t force the issue.
Encourage incremental improvements, rather than insisting on a dramatic change all at once. That means you shouldn’t be calling people out in large meetings, for example, because this will only embarrass them and push them further into their shells.
Instead, take it slow. You might start by asking them for input on a subject in which they have a lot of expertise, in a small meeting or on one, for instance.
Read more: Lower Paid, But Happy! Why Are Female Workers OK With This State Of Things?
Teamwork naturally promotes participation. When individuals are actively collaborating, they are sharing their ideas, vocalizing their thoughts, expressing problems or suggestions, and otherwise speaking up. It’s not as formal as a meeting, but it means that people are engaged and working together.
Collaboration offers many benefits. It is an informal means of boosting communication through a variety of channels and, ultimately, can aid the less vocal individuals in speaking up more frequently.
Read more: 8 Reasons Why Women Should Collaborate With Other Women
Meetings can be intimidating. Some of them are necessary, and some of them are not. One way to encourage participation — the valuable kind — is to ensure that the meetings you have are valuable, too.
This means keeping your check-ins, of course, but keeping them short when there aren’t many items on the agenda. It also means making them more approachable and encouraging participation from everyone who has something to contribute — not just department heads or managers. There should also be time for questions, and it should be clear that all questions matter and none are time-wasters.
It’s also helpful to send out an agenda ahead of time and ask if anyone wants to add items or send questions, so everyone is prepared.
Read more: A Workplace Friendship That Begun Badly But Became A Good One
Ultimately, people need to feel safe in their environments. This applies to the workplace as much as it does to the home or any other personal space.
Tech has the reputation of being cut-throat, but that’s not always the case, and it doesn’t have to be the case. When leaders make an effort toward improving their workplaces and making their employees feel psychologically safe, these employees, in turn, will be more likely to feel comfortable sharing their ideas and contributing to the culture.
Read more: Is Your Workplace Toxic? Do The Checklist!
Research shows that there is a link between well-being in the workplace and creative performance. Support measures need to be in place to promote not only greater participation but also a more energized and positive atmosphere — one where everyone feels comfortable speaking up, vocalizing their concerns, and sharing their innovative ideas.
Growing up in a small city, Rachita never felt comfortable with the constant ‘caste’ criticism. The visible casteism that her fellow students were subjected to was deeply unsettling and violated her core being. How Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaishyas and the Shudras were superior or inferior to one another was a dialogue she could never relate to. Rachita sees beauty in difference and celebrates what makes each individual unique.
When she was 13, she became determined to make a personal change that would express the fact that she did not agree with the discrimination or looking down on one another based on the status quo. As a result, when asked to complete registration for the 9th grade, she removed her last name ‘Sharma’ and just registered herself as ‘Rachita’. While a small protest at the time, Rachita found strength and purpose in her decision. Her parents were not so thrilled that she had outsmarted the system with a clever way to officially remove her last name.
People in Rachita’s circle mentioned how she has a last name that holds tremendous amounts of gravity. They were utterly puzzled as to why she would forgo this great “honour”?
Today, Rachita takes the extra step to determine airline specific procedures for booking flights under the right name, including ‘Rachita Rachita’, Rachita LNU (Last name Unavailable) and FNU (First Name Unavailable) Rachita. At 13, she was just determined not to be given preferential treatment on the grounds of a last name that was just given to her. At ‘Empowering A Billion Women Conference 2020’ in Austin, Texas, she shared this story.
Rachita has always been passionate about serving as a voice for those who don’t have one. Her life’s mission is to be an agent of change by providing young women more opportunities and a better path for achieving their full potential. Girl Power Talk is her vision in action:
The startup Girl Power Talk strives to inspire the most capable young leaders with persistence, empathy, and confidence. It empowers young women (and men) with merit-based opportunities to grow and achieve their full potential. The aim is to develop girls in India to become global leaders. The team of Girl Power Talk is relentlessly committed to education, gender equality, and integrating the strengths of specially abled communities.
Girl Power Talk celebrates the diversity and the creative potential of the brightest young minds, and provides a nurturing culture of learning and mentorship. The culture instills young people with exceptional soft-skills, technical knowledge, and purpose in life. Further, Girl Power Talk is an emerging media platform that voices the opinions and narratives of young women across the country. #GirlPowerTalk
As a technology company, we steward how companies and individuals represent their true identity on the internet. The team of Girl Power Talk creates and promotes top digital assets that accelerate the growth of brand equity. Our agile team consults on digital transformation and provides comprehensive reputation management services. When a high profile individual or an organization faces a crisis, legal, or PR issues on the internet, Girl Power Talk specializes in mitigating the impact of the defamatory content and creating a positive narrative.
“One girl empowers another. Let’s change lives together: one girl, one woman and one human being at a time.”
As a key leader & CEO of a start-up in Girl Power Talk, Rachita is responsible or involved in almost everything. While at times the demands of operating and building a company can be a challenge, she has learned to put her energy where it matters the most. For her that is creating a strong vision and having true alignment amongst the growing team. To do that, one has to genuinely care about someone and invest the time to develop a real friendship. Naturally, this special bond is built on a foundation of mutual trust. Girl Power Talk doesn’t just hire people that fit a particular job role, but rather identify through interviews the ones that actually share in our company values. We then empower each leader to do their best work and contribute in ways that transcend the barriers set by their traditional course of study. Girl Power Talk recognizes the importance of gender equality and seeks to attract those with extraordinary potential. India is a country with a disproportionately large young population. Naturally, this presents both advantages and disadvantages. Regretfully, the demographic dividend results in bright young adults struggling to find meaningful work opportunities. Because they are so easily replaceable, few graduates receive offers from an entrepreneurial culture or one that invests in their personal development. We hire, nurture and help these young people to build confidence and interpersonal skills.
Girl Power Talk collaborates to discuss and then implement their creative ideas. We change lives one person at a time. This is the true mission of Girl Power Talk. Additionally, we hold workshops in villages for primary school students. The interaction motivates young girls to pursue studying and follow their dreams for a better life. There is a strong belief that this mindset and guidance received at a young age supports how girls pursue their ambitions. We also hire young women from colleges across India, and start by providing them remote opportunities to contribute and interact with our global team. This interaction helps us better identify who may be a long-term fit for joining the company full-time.
This organization is committed to featuring other impactful organizations and how they are making the world a better place. Girl Power Talk proactively reaches out to women business owners and leaders to learn about their challenges and support them. Our Instagram and social media highlight stories of strong women around India, while building a global community to engage more people, celebrate the success of women and support our relentless commitment to developing girls to become tomorrow’s leaders.
As a woman who is committed to paying forward opportunities, Rachita has an abundance mentality in sharing all that she has learned for others to benefit from her mistakes. She is dedicated to changing the trajectory and opportunity set for the brightest young minds in India for decades to come. She stands by what is right and is not afraid of questioning the wrong decisions or established practices of society. Rachita has learned that failing and mistakes happen. Through trial and error, one must always move forward. Emphasizing on persistence and never giving up on the dreams of all those who are Girl Power Talk, she recognizes that her end goals are a life’s work and it starts with feeling humbled to be at the beginning of this journey. She dreams of building a better world, one where purpose and profit are harmonized. Rachita’s aim is to curate an ecosystem where ideas, appreciation, inspiration, optimism, and equality are the standard. Girl Power Talk is where the seeds of future dreams are sown.
Girl Power Talk is a global vision. Given the demographic dividend, India is foundational to our vision. Having said that, it is just the base and start of an expansive global mission. We are patiently expanding the organization internationally and have a team of full time, part time, remote and independent workers, most importantly all doing what they love. Central to this is the excitement about building an exemplary culture, one where young innovative leaders grow and adapt our vision to their local country.
Girl Power Talk is now developing a unique fellowship program for young leaders in Nepal, Sri Lanka, Myanmar, Thailand, and the Philippines. Selected candidates will travel to India and experience our special culture. Successful fellows may then return home with other tenured Indian team members to expand Girl Power Talk locally in their home county.
Girl Power Talk never takes the immense personal and professional joy received on a daily basis for granted. There are several other countries with strong and vibrant young people that we are interested in. A great building requires an ineffable foundation.
This video shares some real life experiences of lives that have been impacted through Girl Power Talk:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw5HvCuFGdA
Explore the dynamic evolution of motherhood in Indian society, from traditional roles to modern challenges, as portrayed in media and culture. Embracing diversity, and promoting equality for future generations.
Motherhood has long held a revered place in Indian society, symbolizing love, sacrifice, and nurturing care. The representation and role of mothers in India are deeply interwoven with cultural norms, societal expectations, and changing gender dynamics.
This article delves into the portrayal of mothers in Indian culture and examines how these roles are intertwined with prevailing gender perspectives.
In traditional Indian society, mothers were confined to the domestic sphere, responsible for child-rearing, household chores, and maintaining family harmony. This role, while deemed virtuous, sometimes led to an unrealistic idealization of motherhood, blurring the lines between being a human and a deity.
The media often perpetuated this notion, such as the character Anupamaa in the TV serial “ANUPAMAA,” who embodies the selfless mother archetype. This portrayal inadvertently reinforced the idea that a woman’s identity primarily revolves around her maternal duties.
However, as modernization and urbanization took root, women’s roles evolved. More women entered the workforce, pursued education, and broke free from traditional confines. Mothers are now seen as multidimensional individuals who balance nurturing with contributing to the economy. Yet, challenges persist.
Women are criticized for prioritizing themselves, as seen in the film “Shakuntala Devi,” where the protagonist grapples with guilt when choosing her career over exclusive motherhood.
Media plays a pivotal role in shaping perceptions. Traditional media typically portrayed mothers as selfless beings, sacrificing for their families. Modern media, exemplified by “English Vinglish,” depicts mothers pursuing personal aspirations alongside familial responsibilities. This shift underscores that mothers have dreams beyond their roles.
Indian culture’s diversity also influences the role of mothers. In some communities, mothers are revered as goddesses, but this reverence can overshadow their individual aspirations. Balancing cultural reverence with recognizing women’s autonomy is essential for gender equality.
Devi’s worship in Hinduism exemplifies this, potentially burdening mothers with unrealistic expectations. The joint family tradition places extensive responsibilities on mothers, potentially limiting their personal growth and career prospects.
Despite progress, gender inequality and limited access to opportunities persist, burdening mothers who navigate societal norms alongside nurturing families. Gender-sensitive policies are crucial to dismantling these barriers, acknowledging the multifaceted roles mothers fulfil.
India’s evolving landscape showcases a shift in gender views. The younger generation embraces progressive outlooks, challenging traditional gender roles. Fathers’ increased involvement in parenting highlights a departure from the notion that child-rearing solely belongs to mothers.
This shift signifies a broader societal awakening to shared responsibilities in nurturing families, empowering women beyond traditional roles.
In recent years, Indian popular culture has introduced new mother archetypes that challenge traditional stereotypes and mirror evolving societal norms. These include the Career-Oriented Mother, as portrayed by Vidya Balan’s character in “Tumhari Sulu,” who adeptly balances her professional life with motherhood.
The Single Mother, as seen in films like “Panga” with Kangana Ranaut, showcases the journey of single mothers pursuing their dreams while navigating parenthood solo.
Characters like Ratna Pathak Shah’s portrayal in “Lipstick Under My Burkha” embody the Unconventional Mother archetype, breaking societal norms by embracing their desires post-motherhood.
Additionally, the Tech-Savvy Mother, represented by Kajol’s character in “Helicopter Eela,” highlights how mothers use technology to monitor and connect with their children in the digital age.
These evolving mother archetypes in Indian popular culture reflect the shifting roles and expectations of mothers in contemporary society, promoting diversity and challenging traditional molds.
As India journeys towards inclusivity and cooperation, embracing diverse roles for mothers and promoting gender equality becomes imperative. By doing so, India paves the way for a balanced society that respects both women’s aspirations and the essential roles fathers play in child-rearing.
This transformation reflects a nation evolving towards understanding and equality, fostering a just society for generations to come.
Image source: YouTube, edited on CanvaPro
This year i.e 2023 flew away light and fluttery like a bird, starkly different from the three years preceding it. I am saying this because nothing terrible or frightening – powerful enough to bog us down or ruin the pervading air of bonhomie and peace – took place in my concentric circles of family relatives and friends.
Through the winter and spring months, there were shopping sprees picnics, and eating out galore (something all-self proclaimed foodies like me enjoy). Throughout the year music and cultural shows, film festivals, meeting and interacting with new ‘eminent’ people, kept my hands (and heart) full. I penned a number of write-ups (read features) on them which were generally appreciated.
However the year witnessed the demise of two individuals who had impacted my life in a significant way. Dr Rudra Dutta who had played a key role in my life via counselling guidance when on one was going through a rough patch in my private. Oddly enough a few years later his attitude towards me grew cold and tad unfriendly after he discovered that I had entered the practice of Nichiren Buddhism.
Probably he was disappointed since he was a staunch adherent of the Sanatan Dharma which has been gaining ascendancy over the past few years. Nevertheless now that he is no longer amidst us I forgive him whole-heartedly and from the depths of my heart hope and pray that his soul rests in eternal peace.
The other was a kind hearted soul by the name of Leela Sarkar, a very old friend of my father’s family. She was erudite gentle and. suave Her zest for life was infectious and she exuded supreme self confidence at each and every step, in every task she undertook. A trained classical singer she continued her daily riyaaz almost till the last day of her life. A budding author she managed to complete her autobiography and get it published before departing this world at the ripe old age of ninety.
And then, I had a great fall (à la Humpty dumpty). While leaving the auditorium after a cultural event, I slipped from the stairs. The Femur head on the left was shattered. I had to undergo a hip replacement surgery, and spend an entire week in the hospital. Back home, while convalescing a new vistas opened before my eyes. People who heretofore were unfriendly or avoided me, now grew sympathetic and went all out to help me. I was touched to the core. The milk of human kindness had not dried up.
Looking back, this accident has slightly altered my lifestyle. Earlier I could roam wild and free. Now I need an escort whenever I leave home. My partner and daughter discharge this duty diligently. Also I need to lean on my prosthetic stick negotiate corners bends and steps. In a lighter vein, I am tickled pink upon realizing that a fragment of my body is gone forever.
Onward to the approaching year 2024, I earnestly hope and pray it turns out more joyous, and prosperous for all us!
Recently, our Women and Child Development Minister said, “As a menstruating woman, I can very particularly say, menstruation and menstrual cycle is not a handicap, neither it’s a natural part of a woman’s life journey. Given that women today are opting for more and more economic opportunities, I will just put my personal view on this; I’m not the officiating ministry. We should not propose issues where women are in some way denied an equal opportunity just because somebody who does not menstruate has a particular viewpoint towards menstruation.”
This was her reply to a question asked by Prof Manoj Kumar Jha (member of Rajya Sabha), “What measures have been placed to make compulsory provisions for employers to grant certain number of paid menstrual leaves to female employees?” Prof Jha also stated that in 1992-93, Bihar was the first state to provide menstrual leaves followed by Kerala.
Since the incident happened, people have divided their opinions over this. A few have also expressed their outrage over Mrs. Irani’s views saying, “How can she herself being a women ignore the struggles faced by other menstruating women?” A few countered that saying, “Why would a company hire female employees if they start asking for paid menstrual leaves?” A few women came out and expressed their struggles during their periods. A few trolls turned up and said, “If women start getting paid menstrual leaves, we men also want paid leaves.”
While every woman experiences a certain amount of discomfort during their menstrual cycle, around 5-10% of the population experiences severe pain which can disrupt their life. It is estimated that 14-25% women of childbearing age experience period irregularities. Needless to say, we cannot disregard the struggles faced by the female population at any workplace. We have enough data to reveal the problems faced by women during their periods. We come across many who talk about the problems but seldom does anyone want to consider a solution for this.
If we look at women’s history, in the 1800s, although women had many duties in the home and community and few political and legal rights, they worked either in factories or in domestic service for richer households or in a family business. Many women also carried out home-based work such as finishing garments, laundry, or preparing snacks to sell in the market or streets.
In the 1900s, while the primary role was taking care of their home and family, a few had taken up jobs like clerks, typists, operators, etc. It was only in the second half of the 20th century that women started working and contributing to the economy. While the first wave of feminism began in 1848, it hadn’t begun then in India. In a country like India, where women were refrained from basic rights, feminism was out of the question. In the beginning, it was mostly male reformers who advocated rights for women and feminism.
We live in the 21st century today where a lot has changed. While women play a significant role in the labor force today, less than 20% of India’s women work paid jobs, and female workforce participation has been declining steadily. There are various reasons for the decline, but the fact that the workforce is dominated by the male population doesn’t go unnoticed.
We might expect men to understand female problems but that doesn’t necessarily ensure empathy by men towards employed women, for this world is highly capitalistic. Does that mean women should give up on working entirely? Definitely, not. Research has documented that organizations benefit from gender diversity. Women in the workforce have boosted productivity levels, constructive communication, confidence for young workers, team building, multidimensionality, etc. So women are indeed necessary at workplaces. It would however be unfair to ask women to work under conditions that are not conducive to their physical and mental health. Equality is more than just a lack of discrimination based on traits like sexuality, gender, race, and caste.
Women are physiologically different from men and that shouldn’t stop them from working towards their goals. While menstruation isn’t a handicap, the issue cannot be deliberately set aside for women who experience excruciating pain.
In February 2023, Spain became the first European country to grant paid menstrual leaves of 3 days which can be extended up to 5 days only for women suffering from incapacitating pain. They need to provide a medical certificate from a doctor for the same.
Apart from Spain, other countries like Indonesia (policy introduced in 1948, reconstructed in 2003 to 2 days per cycle), Japan (labor law of 1947, article 68), South Korea (article 73), Taiwan (article 14), Vietnam (reform introduced in 2020, females not taking those leaves need to be paid extra), Zambia (one leave per month without requiring medical certificate) have paid menstrual leaves.
A question has arisen over the misuse of paid menstrual leaves, but questions like these shouldn’t stop anyone from introducing laws for the needful ones. If the misuse of laws is the question, women can be asked to provide a medical certificate prescribed by a doctor for the same. Society needs to accept the importance of women in workplaces and should make the environment favorable for them to work.
Women at workplaces don’t want equality because they know they are different from men. Instead, they deserve equity and it should be female politicians who raise these types of concerns in the parliament instead of men since we live in a patriarchal society.
Our lawmakers need to understand that you don’t necessarily need to experience those specific problems to make laws on the same. If you create laws based on only what you have experienced, you are neglecting the struggles faced by other women. Women at workplaces don’t need equality because deserve equity.
Image Source: Canva Pro
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