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Interviews are what everyone has to face in life if you want a career, whatever field you choose. The question that arises in the mind is, “How the hell should I prepare myself?”
Here are a few tips:
Wear something that’s appropriate for the job profile you are looking for and that which makes you feel confident.
Too much of make-up is a strict “No!”, unless you are aspiring for a career in modelling or acting or in some such field. Otherwise, a light make-up is fine.
The interviewer is looking at the prospective candidates more for what they know. So, your skills matter a lot. Target the kind of job you desire and gather as much knowledge as possible.
If you have some appreciation certificates, do remember to take them and mention about them gently during the conversation.
Appear confident. Answer confidently. You have to take care of your fear. The interviewees are not demons and they mostly make you feel good. They wish to know how you fit the needs of the job they wish to assign.
Don’t be affected by the other candidates who try to tell how good they are or show-off. Ultimately, it will be your talent that will matter.
You may not know everything. During such times, rather than bluffing, it’s better to admit that you don’t know. Steer the conversation to the subject you know well or have expertise in.
Try to be more familiar with the language the organisation mostly uses as a part of routine. It certainly helps.
If the salary is negotiable, try to understand what is the range in other similar organisations in similar region. Don’t settle for something less. Do put your points regarding why you deserve that salary firmly, yet gently. Also, Google if someone has already written about non-payment of salary by the organisation, not respecting women etc.
Do talk clearly about the working hours and understand if that suits you.
Have the plans for how you will contribute towards the betterment of the organisation ready. Go through the company profile several times.
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Sarah Sham, a mompreneurs at a luxury interior design studio says in this reel on The Mompreneur Show, “I made a decision a while ago whether I want to be an interior designer or a business owner. A lot of people get stuck there – if you are an interior designer, you just get obsessed with (the nitty gritty of design). But I’m a business owner – so (my focus will be on) – Is my business making money? Are my clients happy? With the overall experience of everything, while not compromising with details. Because having a strong personal brand is so important.” The designs can be gorgeous, she says, but the brand is what will get you more business and visibility.
And that’s what mompreneurs should know and focus on. Building a strong personal brand, and growing it as a business.
This is a collaboration aimed at supporting the participants of The Moms Co.’s Mompreneurs Show. This strategic partnership is designed to create an ecosystem fostering empowerment and growth for women entrepreneurs, celebrating women’s financial prowess in their entrepreneurship journey.
Naiyya Saggi, Group Co-founder, Good Glamm Group and CEO, Good Community said on this occasion, “We are thrilled to extend our support to mompreneurs beyond the show’s glory. By partnering with Mahila Money, we aim to empower women with the financial tools and knowledge needed to scale their businesses successfully.”
On her part, Sairee Chahal, Founder and Chairperson, Mahila Money said, “This collaboration is not just about productive capital. It is about a collaborative ecosystem to increase success ratio for women entrepreneurs with incubation, community, resources and engagement. It’s a movement to recognize and celebrate the entrepreneurial ambition and energy that women entrepreneurs bring to the table. Through #MompreneurMoneyMoves/#MahilaKnowsMoney, we aim to redefine the narrative around women and money.”
As Sarah Sham says, “Roadblocks are inevitable in life, but mompreneurs encounter twice of them. You hit lows, fall back but most importantly, you bounce back.” She goes on to give her tips for how to do this.
With the campaign #MompreneurMoneyMoves / #MahilaKnowsMoney, the collaboration takes a bold stance by celebrating the wealth of financial knowledge women already possess and elevates the financial prowess of women, emphasizing that empowerment starts with acknowledging the intelligence they bring to the table.
Trigger Warning: This deals with rape jokes, rape culture, and violence against women, and may be triggering for survivors.
Even though it has been decades since women started coming out of their houses to work somehow the misogyny also managed to follow them everywhere they go.
The recent incident with the actress Trisha Krishnan where a co actor Mansoor Ali Khan made vulgar statements regarding how he wanted to rape her and tried to brush it off as a joke reassured my beliefs that rape jokes are still very prevalent and a lot of men still think its acceptable and justifiable to do so.
The normalization of sexist and rape jokes is still prevalent to this day even after many laws and committees are specially made for them. the reason these jokes and comments are slide under the carpet are because they are subtle and are laughed off as joke by a lot of men and even some brainwashed women.
To talk about my experience, wherein I was talking to a friend of mine and the topic came up regarding how his friends made him uncomfortable and stripped him completely of his clothes while they were drunk and he continued to laugh it off by saying “they almost gangraped me!”
I was uncomfortable, but brushed it off and did not want to make an issue out of it like a lot of other women who let a lot of things slide because we are conditioned to let things like this slide since our childhood. it was disappointing to hear stuff like this from a close friend.
Fast forward to a few days and I had a chat with same guy friend and another topic came up regarding a personal experience of mine where I was harassed and an attempt to rape was made. Somehow this guy friend of mine decided to make a joke out of this, and I was too stunned to say anything.
Fast forward to a few more days and the same guy texted me again talking about something else and this time he said “it’s not like I raped her or anything. it was just for fun.”
I had enough at this point and asked him not to use the word as it was triggering and upsetting for me. The guy continues to overexplain himself and ended the conversation with an apology. The conversation had ruined my mood for the whole day and kept bothering me for a lot of days.
I’ve talked to my close female friends a few days after this and apparently rape jokes are still very relevant and funny to a lot of men, and they still think it’s ok to make jokes regarding such things.
Misogynists think its ok to make rape jokes and want women to accept such filth as jokes but God forbid women make a comment, not even a joke on their masculinity and they crumble like a block of Jenga boxes.
You walk into a room, and someone compliments you on your dressing sense. It boosts your confidence. The picture from your vacation that you posted on Instagram fetches you some thousand plus likes along with tons of positive comments that leave you totally ecstatic! You are bowled over by the adjectives that describe you.
It is not unnatural to marvel at the kindness showered upon you! Hold on for a second: by any chance, are you confused between niceness and kindness? As much as it may sound cynical, it is wiser to not take every word literally.
Although we make the mistake of using the concepts interchangeably, being nice and practicing kindness are not always the same. We are taught to be nice and kind, but hardly do we reflect in depth on those two separate meanings.
Niceness is always associated with being pleasant, courteous, or agreeable. To sum it up, you do not want to offend the person or persons you are interacting with.
Kindness, on the other hand, is rooted in benevolence, and the act is performed with utmost sincerity and authenticity, expecting nothing in return. To cite an example, if you are voluntarily helping an aged person to carry bags of groceries home, you are being kind and nice at the same time.
Author Houston Kraft delves into the concept of kindness and beautifully articulates the differences between being nice and being kind. According to him, “kindness moves beyond feelings and conveniences”.
Elaborating on niceness, he writes, “The nice person often expects something in return for their actions. They seek gratitude from the recipient even if the person wasn’t expecting — or doesn’t want — what is being given.”
An act of kindness may not always appear to be nice. Imagine that you are in a gathering where someone who is not present is being discussed rather nastily. If you muster the courage to call out the people who are gossiping, you will inevitably end up being disliked. You have stood by your principles and have been kind towards the person who’s being attacked, but you do not look too nice here for speaking out your mind.
Well, welcome to reality, and do not expect the best of both worlds: to be honest and to be a people pleaser at the same time.
You will come across people who have always given a patient listening to your problems and offered their soothing words of comfort. They may have also come rushing in to help you out in times of need and difficulty. These are the ones who are not just nice and make you happy with their sweet words; they are kind as well.
It is heartwarming and encouraging to know how kindness fosters emotional and physical health.
Christmas is right around the corner, and the festive spirit fills the air. It is the far end of the year, and we are on the threshold, looking forward to new beginnings and brighter days ahead.
How do you intend to celebrate New Year’s Day? This is a question we ask one another.
We seek to usher in 2024 on a joyous note and enjoy it to the fullest. As we make our plans to ring in the new year, we need to look beyond the fun and festivity. When we ponder about the coming days, it is up to us to set a goal to continuously practice the values that touch the lives of those around us. Let us think about cultivating empathy and harnessing the power of kindness with a goal of building true and lasting human relationships on the edifices of selfless, unconditional love.
Here’s to wishing you all a wonderful holiday season and a happy, healthy, peaceful New Year!
Image source: by PeopleImages from Getty Images Signature Free for Canva Pro
The year is about to end soon, the festive season is soon coming to a close too.
Karan continues to have koffee, Mr. Murthy wants us to work 70 hours a week, women are still dying from dowry demands, and the moral fabric of humanity was at risk for women are choosing to experience physical intimacy with multiple partners before committing to be monogamous. (Not even touching the human vs. Animal dilemma here).
What would be worth writing about amidst so many worthwhile topics wasn’t difficult to choose however.
Moral expectations will continue to be biased against women until there’s social equality. Social equality comes through economic equality. The work hour topic, therefore, is the one that provides an opportunity to discuss a matter long overdue.
Yes, quite a lot has been said about what Mr. Murthy might or might not have meant, but I think the key point hasn’t been made. I will start with that point.
Work hours are not equivalent to work ethic, nor do they symbolize achievement and productivity. What they do instead, when put in as either a mandatory requirement or an aspiration, in a patriarchal society where gender rules still weigh heavy, is perpetuate gender inequality.
The burden of unrealistic, gruelling, merciless corporate culture is borne disproportionately by women causing them to drop out of the workforce, move into alternative careers, move out of STEM, or take career breaks which are hard to bounce back from. This leads to lower income causing economic inequality between the genders.
The cycle continues.
Economic power is social power. Women dropping out of the workforce is a socio-economic disaster that India’s toxic work culture slow but surely taking us towards.
First, how dare I call India’s work culture toxic? Well, this is how – from personal experience.
In 2019 I was placed in a role which allowed me to oversee, while working in the US, how multinational corporations work with each other. To be specific, I got to work directly with IT teams from corporations head quartered in both India and the US (and a couple of other countries part of our near shoring strategy). I was in an US team but spent time in our India offices too. I worked with teams located in India, who also had peers in the US.
The difference in expectations and attitude displayed towards an employee if they were in an India team by their own companies was astonishing, almost criminal.
Of course no laws are being broken, for that’s how laws are carefully designed in this world: corporate guidelines and expectations, not rules. But I consider it criminal violation of respect, which I can define as treat an employee and his/her needs mindfully. Violation of that is abuse.
A deadline? No worries, India teams will meet. That’s the whole reason why US corporations are off-shoring anyways: for converting humans into efficiencies. But it won’t be met through better work culture, it will be met through gruelling work. Call times can and will be set primarily meeting US time zone requirements. Golden hours? When I worked with Japan in a previous role, those were hours of reasonable overlap (5-7 pm US, 7-9 am Tokyo). When I worked with India, it could be late evening, into and past midnight. Definitely whole evenings.
Think of this. Someone sitting in the West Coast of the US (of any ethnic origin) could say ‘sorry that’s too early for me’ or ‘sorry, that’s my kids homework hours’, but the voices over the bridge couldn’t. I wondered why, many times. I cam discuss the reasons and origins of these reasons as much as word count will allow, going into colonial history, economic positioning of nations, and anthropological nuances.
But let’s keep it simple. It’s because the Indians in Bangalore or Hyderabad have managers (mostly male but also female) perpetuating the toxicity they have endured. They expect their subordinates to be spineless serving non-humans who are, irrespective of their human form, efficiencies. They speak up against their and their people’s interest (barring far and few), committing to a standard of excellence they believe need to be met at the cost of self-respect.
Ok, but why is this a gender issue? Indian men have it harder, one might argue. The women can leave the workforce if they fail to take it anymore, but the men have nowhere to go from their primary earner responsibility.
Yes, they’d be right. And that is exactly why this is a gender issue.
If you must invest your evenings (and nights) away from the duties of child rearing, elderly caregiving, housekeeping and homemaking, who will need to give? Who will be judged harshly for having to do so – by others and by themselves?
Consider that the woman has supportive in-laws who believe that both their son and daughter-in-law need to excel in their careers. There are affordable house help(s) putting food on table, or a husband sharing equal load of cooking, cleaning, and homework. In that home too, when a child will be yearning for the attention of a parent – the mother will give. When social engagements will pile up, the wife will be handling the logistics. The wife will consider giving up her job eventually, for that’s what would come naturally.
This is a simplistic example, of course. Complicated pictures don’t need to be drawn here, for those are lived every day by women. But we can, if we want to, bring into this
I have seen all these scenarios experienced by my family members working in India. Still, I talked to quite a few women on the same. Most shared the same story. I am choosing one below, as one is enough.
Anjana M (one of the rare few who didn’t care about anonymity) shared her experience of working in pharmaceutical research from which she had to take a break.
The work needed long hours of standing and she couldn’t continue to do so while pregnant. There weren’t any requirements from the HR on paper, only the expectation expressed by her immediate boss that these life events shouldn’t be made into excuses for slacking in performance. She quit, and unlike most others, was lucky enough to be rehired into the same company post a career gap. She had to quit again, for her daughter would study only with her. She chose a teaching profession instead, to be able to find more hours in a day.
The salary, as she says, was not even one-fourth, possibly merely one-fifth (which immediately weakens her financial standing and independence). But more bothersome to her was the fact that with home grading and other obligations, work hours didn’t reduce much. She joined corporate work again, trusting a promise of great work from home benefits and minimal onsite requirement. Yet she found herself on off site travels for months at a time. And when Covid came, she found herself in social isolation when at home, for her travels didn’t reduce. ‘I took Covid test 40 times,’ she says, ‘and then with sales declining, my company had to diversify, adding more pressure of travel.’
‘What about work from home days?’
She sighs. I realize I shouldn’t have asked. What she shares is what all my relatives (men and women) I know in Indian corporates have shared. Expectation is to be logged in at 7.30 am and to be logged in until midnight.
“Even if I go downstairs grocery shop, I am to be logged in and available for ping. When on vacation and in family wedding, I stayed logged in and my boss would express candidly that since I am idling at home anyways and had a computer, it shouldn’t be a problem to answer pings and getting minor things taken care of. Higher up bosses were from Norway. They never expressed such expectations and in fact, when I was forced to say ‘it’s fine’ would express astonishment and ask how can it be fine? Don’t I need a break? I dropped out again,” Anjana wraps her story. “The field is such that even men are having fights with their wives and can’t keep up. How could I? I now do teaching again, teach Cue-Math online to international students. Still have to put in late hours, but at least it’s by choice and with self-respect.”
As I know and the readers know, Anjana’s story isn’t unique. Many I know are trying to run online music schools, art schools. Quite a few are trying to sell stuff. It’s not just about financial freedom, it’s for mental health too. For self-worth.
Lack of financial freedom and lesser financial position make women vulnerable to gender-based violence including domestic violence.
Many women face financial abuse (my non-profit published on this recently) and stay in abusive situations due to lack of financial freedom.
It’s not that this happens only in India. This and gender disparity in the workplace causing women to lack the language of progression, disproportionate loss of women from workforce, gender gap in ranks, are global problems. But it’s exaggerated in India by sub-servient and toxic expectations. By lack of respect for personal space and boundaries.
Last, what about work ethic though? Shouldn’t hard work be gender neutral? Well, loads of productivity data exists to show that there is significant decline in productivity post a certain amount of slogging. Also, servitude isn’t the same as commitment. Confusing work life balance with lack of ambition and ethic is a self-made problem used to serve the interest of managers (and corporations). It’s not that hard to distinguish between the two.
The New York Times published about this recently.
“There is one change, so simple it can be described in just six words, that could lift millions of people out of poverty and expand the world’s fifth-largest economy: Get more Indian women paid jobs.”
As the article continues to elaborate, not only is India significantly lagging in propelling economic growth through female labor force participation (one of the lowest percentages in the world), it is also seeing decline in the same (down to 24 percent from a 29 percent in 2010). If the article is to be trusted, Bangladesh is seeing a better trend on this than India. Therefore, like I have said in my book Beyond #MeToo previously, keep social justice aside – economically India can’t afford to not have women in paid workforce.
In Anjana’s words – “We will stay a ‘developing nation’ forever because of this, because we don’t respect our own. Our slave mentality is going to keep us from getting any respect from the world” – are emotional and haunting, but I hope they don’t come true.
Image source: by kzenon Free for Canva Pro
Trigger Warning: This deals with dowry harassment, suicide, and death, and may be triggering to survivors.
We met on a matrimonial site. His proposal was shortlisted mainly because he was a doctor and both my parents too were doctors. Appa had a special respect for his chosen fraternity and I shared it, what with being brought up by two and after having worked as a medical journalist.
As was common in those days, my profile was created in such a way that it was my Appa who was on the lookout for suitable matches for his child. But then again, it being those years, dad was not very computer savvy and it was I who drafted the profile. One of the important points it stated was, ‘We, as a family, do not believe in the dowry system. And, if yours does, please do not respond to this profile’.
*Dr. Satish wrote in his interest to my father, in perfect, old school gentleman style. Appa was impressed. He was in training for his MRCPCH in the UK. Soon after, we began corresponding. I had taken a break from work to do a second Masters during that time and was in Chennai. His parents were retired and settled in Bangalore.
I was home in Kerala on a short break and his parents visited. It was a short, informal meet and they claimed that they too wanted to settle in Kerala and had come to check out a property they had shortlisted at Kottayam (my hometown).
After I returned to Chennai, Satish, during the course of one of our chats (it was yahoo and hotmail chat times) said, “My mother really liked that carved, antique teapoy set in your house. Are the tusks on those carved elephants real ivory?”
I was gobsmacked that a first time visitor would pay such attention to details of furniture etc. The conversation changed soon after.
Fast forward a few more weeks, the alliance was on in full arranged marriage style. Satish came down to India. We met at home, with parents in tow. His parents had bought a very old house in Kottayam, which they mentioned that they planned to renovate. As in most arranged marriage meets, I felt no special spark at our meeting. But yet, two incidents happened which struck me as very odd.
When we had a few minutes alone, Satish in great hurry thrust a small gift into my hand and said, “I brought this for you, but don’t take it out before my parents”. And, the second was when his mother requested to my mom that she wanted to see me in a saree. I did voice my protest to my mom but she mollified me saying it was a harmless request. And, when I did wear a saree, the lady looked at me, nodded as if satisfied and said, “She does not look like my elder daughter in law who is so stocky. My DIL looks so rotund in a saree”. She also brought out a wedding picture of the elder son to show us his wife.
The two incidents kept playing on my mind. But contrary to my usual nature, I did not voice this to my parents. The main reason was because I was riddled with guilt, for already disappointing them twice – once, over a never should have happened love affair and second, a haphazard attempt at proposing to a friend on the rebound and which did not work out (on hindsight luckily for both of us). I was 28.
I decided to voice my concerns to a senior psychiatric counsellor who mentored me during my summer apprenticeship at an NGO. Looking back, I do not know if it was his traditional upbringing or he simply did not want to take the responsibility of a marital alliance break up, he told me, “Focus on the positive side. Satish likes you so much that he brought you that gift. Maybe his parents are conservative and that is why he chose to hide it from them”.
A couple of weeks fast forward. A wedding date is set and the hall booked. We are corresponding on a regular basis too.
Then one day, a phone call from Appa.
“Dear, I want to ask you something. Do you really like Satish? Will you be very disappointed if this does not work out? If so, tell me and I will make this happen.”
“Appa, what exactly is this? Tell me…?”
To cut a long story short, once the date and venue were fixed the ‘would have been in-laws’ had made the following statements, over many days…
~ How much gold are you planning to give Molu (daughter). You saw my elder daughter in law’s picture, no? She was wearing 100 sovereigns. It’s not that we want anything but if Molu can’t match that, then she might be embarrassed.
~ We want a very grand wedding here. But since we are settled in Bangalore for several years, all our friends are there. So, we want you to give a grand reception there.
~ Since you are not from Bangalore, how about giving us cash in advance so that we can arrange the reception in Bangalore?
After that 3rd call, my dad had put them on hold and said, “I’d like to talk to my daughter and ask her opinion”. Till then, he hadn’t told me because he too (like I did) assumed he might disappoint me!
“Appa, don’t even ask me, call this off immediately.”
Appa, however, decided to give it one last shot by emailing Satish about this. The guy responded, “See Doctor, my parents are only trying to make your daughter’s life comfortable. After all this is all for her. Even here I have just bought an apartment, won’t she get that too?” That made us laugh! The sheer ludicrousness.
We called it off.
Yet another smart, beautiful professional lady, with a brilliant future ahead of her, decides to end it all. Her would be groom called off the wedding because the dowry was not enough! Yet another statistic, yet another news item from my cent percent literate State.
I was in two minds before penning this down. Will I be able to get the message across in the right manner? Does it sound like I’m preening? It’s sheer luck that I had a man like my dad as father. Pure destiny. But, then I decide to pen it down because over the years, I’ve realised that the courage that most people around me associate me with is something that was taught to me by my dad.
Why is it that we instill in our daughters that her ‘self worth’ is determined by someone else. Why do we teach her to measure her societal status by how docile she is? Perhaps that is the unspoken code of conduct that we instill deep in them by how we lead our own lives. Mothers who let themselves be trampled, walked over and treated as properties. Fathers who show them this is how real ‘alpha males’ treat their women, don’t dare dream for better.
PS: Let us not make any judgemental/patronising comments or opinions about the young medico who passed away. We, in no way, know what she went through. Rest in Peace, young one.
Image source: a still from Made In Heaven
I get up in the morning; on my feet for hours,
So much to do.
I sit down to rest, catch my breath,
I put up my feet, but I see my mother’s feet.
When did my feet become my mother’s feet?
I smile, she told me this would happen,
Everyone did.
One day you will become your mother, they said
In my youth, I scoffed at them,
My mother was old, I was young
I could never become her.
But now I wonder is it bad?
To be a person who enjoys life,
To be a person who grabs opportunities,
To be a person who brings love and happiness into everyone’s life
Including herself.
If I am my mother, if I have her feet
Is it so bad, I wonder as I get up from my chair.
My knee stiffens, pain shoots up,
A stifled cry escapes my lips
My grandmother’s anguished voice.
Does she live on in me too?
I steady myself and without consciously realizing mimics her posture.
These hands that steady me,
They are not mine
They are my fathers
I would know them anywhere
They are the hands that have always steadied me whenever I stumbled.
And suddenly I feel a flutter
Am I me? Do I exist?
Or am I just the sum of others?
I see my reflection in the mirror.
This face…this face is so familiar
Today I see so many people in this face who look back at me.
These eyes belong to my daughter.
The arch of the eyebrow, the long lashes;
They are meant for a sixteen-year-old
Not for someone who has knee pains and old women’s feet.
The sharp nose is my brother’s,
The cheekbone of my sisters,
Or am I confusing the two?
But this forehead I would know anywhere
I have kissed it every time I tucked my son into bed.
I look at myself and see only others, loved ones, and dear ones, but where am I?
And yet I wonder if is it bad
To be the sum of others?
To have the hope of a six-year-old that tomorrow will be better,
To have the ambition of a sixteen-year-old,
To have the wisdom of age,
To be brave, to be adventurous
To be courageous and kind.
If that is all I am, then that is enough for me.
I smile
And the smile is mine, only mine.
I exist. I am me.
I am more than just the sum of others.
They exist in me and I in them.
But I am me, and more than just me.
Image source: CanvaPro
In November 2023, I got an opportunity to attend the kick-off event of UN Women’s #KoiJawazNahi Campaign in Moen-jo-Daro, and let me tell you, it was something else! Remember Samantha Power’s words: “Violence against women isn’t cultural, it’s criminal. Equality cannot come eventually, it’s something we must fight for now”? Well, this campaign was all about turning those words into action.
It was amazing to see such an important message coming to life in times when violence against women is on the rise in Pakistan. You need to look no further than national media, where stories of women being brutally beaten, raped or killed for simply existing are surfacing online every other day, shaking the very fabric of Pakistan.
I could go into the details of the how’s and why’s, but that’s not the point of today’s discussion. Just for the sake of clarity, I’d like to bring your attention to the TV show called “Hadsa” – a problematic TV show that recently made national news for its insensitive portrayal of the Lahore motorway rape case. In the light of these alarming situations, it becomes imperative to raise awareness through such impactful campaigns.
UN Women hit us with some eye-opening stats—24.5% of women face violence from their partners, and 18.3% get stuck in child marriages. Enter #KoiJawazNahi, a hashtag that shouts, “No excuse for violence against women!”
Moen-jo-Daro, a place dripping with history, became the starting point for a journey through Quetta, Peshawar, and ending in Islamabad, all to shout out against gender-based violence. And trust me, it’s a big deal, especially with the crazy rise in such incidents in Pakistan.
Image of Ms Nabila Zar (Image Credits: My husband, Waqas Rabbani, @JustAPakistaniGamer on YouTube)
The main theme of the campaign, #KoiJawazNahi communicates a powerful message: there’s no excuse to be violent towards women. During her speech, Ms Nabila Malik, Head of Communications and Partnership, UN Women Pakistan clearly said:
“Aurat kay khilaf tashadud namanzor hai. Or jo aurat per tashadud karta hai wo bahadur nahi hai, wo mard nahi hai. Humari civilization humein ye sikhati hai kay humara mard wo hai jo aurat ko tahaffuz de.”
[Violence against women is unacceptable. Anyone who perpetrates violence against women is not brave, not a real man. Our civilization teaches us that a true man is the one who provides protection to women.]
She further added”
“Humare culture mein, humari civilization mein aurat ka bohat ehteraam hai magar wo ehteraam chaar divaari mein kahan chala jata hai, ye samajh nahi ata. Hum chahte hain kay hum ehad karen kay aurton kay khilaf is tashadud ko khatam karen.”
[In our culture, in our civilization, there is great respect for women, but it is unclear where that respect disappears within the four walls. We want to pledge to end this violence against women.]
[Exclusive video]
(Video credits: Waqas Rabbani @JustAPakistaniGamer on YouTube)
This campaign is about more than just lighting up buildings in orange (though that’s a stunning sight!). There is a street theater performance, and multiple exhibitions, focused on the economic stability of women.
Image: Cast of the play I Photo credits: Waqas Rabbani @JustAPakistaniGamer on YouTube)
The play, “Be-rangi Se Narangi Tak Ka Safar,” tells the inspiring story of a woman who became financially independent through sewing, passing on her skill to her color-blind daughter.
As per the writer/director of the play, Ms Salma Mir:
“We’re aiming for a collective social change through this play, and impart a message that women like men have the right to pursue their passions and gain financial independence.”
While the play highlights the importance of women being financially independent, the exhibitions celebrate the real life female heroes who live the message of the play in their day to day life.
There were around 10-12 stalls at the Moen-Jo-Daro site, with women selling everything from Rilli (traditional quilts and bedspreads) and Qureshia-designed, handmade clothes to cost-effective sanitary napkins and delicious Sindhi food like sarson ka saag, chawal ki roti, Sindhu machli and tea.
Image (Photo credits: Waqas Rabbani @JustAPakistaniGamer on YouTube)
Important figures like Nasir Aftab Pathan, DIG Larkana, and Abdul Waheed Shaikh, Commissioner Larkana, were there too, showing their support. It was inspiring to hear them talk about standing together against gender violence.
“As Commissioner of Larkana, I stand in solidarity with the UN Women’s initiative at Mohenjo Daro. Embracing our heritage, we amplify the call to end gender-based violence, fostering a society where every individual thrives free from fear”, said Waheed Shaikh, Commissioner Larkana.
Talking about the spirit of the initiative, Ms. Sharmeela Rassool, the Country Representative of UN Women Pakistan stated:
“Investing to prevent violence against women is not just a theme; it’s a call for tangible action. By choosing Mohenjo Daro as the launch site, we emphasize the resilience of women throughout history and the need to protect their rights in the present day.”
(Video credits: My husband, Waqas Rabbani @JustAPakistaniGamer on YouTube)
Being there, amidst the ancient ruins, watching these powerful messages unfold, was really moving. It’s not every day you get to be part of something that’s not just a campaign but a movement for change.
Ended in Islamabad on 10th December 2023, the campaign lit up the entire Pakistan with hope and a promise for a better tomorrow. It’s a reminder to all of us that when it comes to gender-based violence, the answer should always be #KoiJawazNahi.
Image source: by Golib Free for Canva
The last month of the year is more than three quarters over. When we look back at the 11 months gone by, we feel some nostalgia for some good things and upset at the bad things. In those 11 months we may have done several things for our own self and may be a few for others.
Altogether a year carries emotions, memories…a reminder of what we did and a hope for new goals and dreams.
The entire year we run around trying to finish our unfinished work, attend events, go for a vacation, make some long-term and short-term goals. Basically, we are always trying to accomplish something or the other, because we know that the time is running out.
But in doing so, we forget that we are humans who need self-love and self-care. We forget to relax and celebrate ourselves, we forget to appreciate our own small achievements, we forget to pat our own back and say, “Wow! What a great job I have done.”
When we continuously care about the number of tasks done and think about the future, and our goals and dreams, we move towards burnout – our energy levels just go down to zero and there comes a moment where we aren’t at our best anymore. To stop that, we need to rejuvenate ourselves regularly and keep reminding ourselves to stop for a while, take some breaks, have some quality time with friends and family or just pamper ourselves.
Being happy for what you have, celebrating the smallest things, appreciating people and things around and celebrating your mere existence is very important. We all focus on tomorrow / the next project /a better job / higher salary / best vacation but we forget to appreciate the today / the now / the present.
Self-celebration helps in accepting, appreciating and applauding the present ‘Me’. It helps in empowering and motivating you in the very moment. This celebration belongs to you and only you, no matter where you are, how you are; and there may not be any specific reason for your celebration. It’s more about how you honour yourself.
For a person like me who strives for perfection, who needs things to be done in a timely manner within certain standards, it steals my joy on certain days. This year, to achieve more joy, I started a journey towards appreciating myself more often.
How? Let’s read further;
Lastly, always remember, “Take a moment to celebrate yourself, how far you’ve come, where you’re going, your accomplishments, your courage and your strength. never forget, you are amazing” – some self-loving person shared this quote.
I wish the coming year brings more joy and blessings in everyone’s life and people start self-celebration just as we do with any other celebration.
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