9 Women On How Women’s Leadership At Work Makes All The Difference!

Posted: December 13, 2023

WeAce, a platform that is in the business of making workplaces more productive, progressive, and gender balanced, recently, ran a blogathon for women along with Women’s Web. The topic: She-E-O’s: Do Women At the top Elevate Everyone – including men?

We had a deluge of entries, and the top 20 have been featured on the WeAce blog.

Let’s look at the 9 entries (in alphabetical order) that speak of women’s leadership at work, either as bosses or even CEOs, and how that can change the game for everyone, even men.

Ajita Singh

The notion that women in leadership positions can elevate everyone, including men, is grounded in
several critical advantages that diversity brings to the professional workspace. First and foremost,
gender diversity contributes to a broader spectrum of ideas and perspectives. It allows for a more
comprehensive approach to problem-solving and decision-making, thus promoting innovation. When
both women and men are engaged in leadership roles, they can harness their distinct experiences
and viewpoints to arrive at more creative solutions

Read the entry here.

Jasmine Bhatia

Historically, leadership roles were often reserved for men. However, women have always excelled in making important decisions, especially within households. In recent times, female CEOs have challenged these stereotypes, proving that leadership is not confined by gender. Men, inspired by these trailblazing women, are encouraged to question their own biases about traditional gender roles. This
shift in attitude benefits society by tearing down barriers and promoting equality in all aspects of life.

Read the entry here.

Kamatham Premaswini

Having a female CEO can significantly impact an organization’s culture and values. Female leaders often promote transparency, trust, and engagement within the workforce, creating an environment where employees feel valued and empowered.

Read the entry here.

Kanchan Chanana

She was very kind. She was close to her retirement so perhaps, this allowed her to come out or maybe
she sensed a genuine moment to connect – I don’t know but the conversation flowed. She said, “Kanchan, look, I got the seat at the table. But, I hardly had any voice, any decision making in the start. I worked hard on various aspects – knowledge, leadership skills, communication skills, etc. and I gathered my voice but this was not working either.”

Read the entry here.

Kavana HM

According to the latest report from Mckinsey in partnership with Leanln.Org, Women are more ambitious than ever, and workplace flexibility is fueling them. 2023 studies reveal some hard-fought gains at top, with women’s representation in the C- suite at the highest it has ever been. It has surveyed 27000 employees and 270 Senior HR leaders from 276 organizations employing more than 10 million people. The survey debunks 4 myths about women’s workplace experience and career advancements.

Read the entry here.

Lalitha Ramanathan

SS handled conflicts in the team with finesse. I’ve seen some managers dismissing problems between resources callously. However, unlike them, SS was determined to make sure any hostility was nipped in the bud.

Read the entry here.

Meghana Prakash

According to research and a report by Forbes, CEO’s with traits like compassion and integrity earn 9.35% return on assets. Research proves that female leaders use more transformational leadership methods to help the entire organization grow. They create the wave of inspiration and work on what is good for the company when compared to men. This leadership was the catalyst to create a new style of management which was more open, vulnerable and more aligned with reality.

Read the entry here.

Pritika Padhi

A 2016 Harvard Business Review study shows that a shift in the share of women in C-suite positions from 0 to 30% results in a 1% increase in net margin, which is a 15% increase in profitability for a typical firm1. A different study by S&P Global in 2019 found that female CEOs found a 20% increase in stock price momentum in the two years following their appointment2. Several similar studies support that companies with more gender diversity on their executive boards are more profitable than those without.

Read the entry here.

Sharda Mishra

Now, here’s where it gets spicy. When women climb the corporate ladder, they also break down gender stereotypes. Men, freed from the expectation of having to be the “alpha” all the time, can explore roles and skills traditionally considered ‘feminine.’

Read the entry here.

You can read all the articles here.

Liked this post?

Join the 100000 women at Women's Web who get our weekly mailer and never miss out on our events, contests & best reads - you can also start sharing your own ideas and experiences with thousands of other women here!

Vidya Balan Shuts Body Shamers - Vidya Balan Interview On Being Body Positive

Comments

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

A Short List Of Freelance Jobs For Women On A Career Break

In this article, we will explore 10 rewarding fields for women returning to work through freelancing

Taking a break from work doesn’t mean the end of career possibilities. For women stepping back into the professional world after a break, freelancing presents a versatile and empowering path.

10 freelance jobs for women on a career break

Digital content creation

Freelancing in digital content creation covers a broad spectrum—writing blogs, crafting engaging social media content, or creating compelling videos. It’s a flexible field where creativity meets demand.

Read more: What I Did When I Got Locked Out Of My Instagram Account Essential For Me As A Digital Content Creator

Graphic design

Graphic design freelancing allows women to express their artistic flair. Design logos, websites, or marketing materials while setting your own schedule and working from home.

Read more: 10 Graphic Design Artists On Instagram To Look Up For Inspiration

Consulting and coaching

Offering consultancy services in areas like career counselling, life coaching, or business advisory roles can be incredibly rewarding and intellectually stimulating.

Read more: How To Become A Career Advisor Consultant In India

Software development and IT

Tech and IT freelancing cover a wide array—from coding to software development. These roles often offer remote work options and are in high demand in today’s digital landscape.

Read more: 7 Key IT Certification Courses To Give A Kickstart To Your Tech Career

Writing and editing

Freelance writing and editing roles cater to women with a knack for words. Editing manuscripts, writing articles, or proofreading documents can be done remotely and flexibly.

Read more: Short Guide On How To Prepare For A Freelance Career

Digital marketing

Freelancing in digital marketing encompasses various roles like SEO specialists, social media managers, or digital strategists. It’s a dynamic field that allows for creative thinking and strategizing.

Read more: Digital Marketing Jobs: Why It Is A Great Career Choice For Women In A Post Pandemic World

Translation services

Fluency in multiple languages? Consider freelancing in translation services. Translating documents, books, or content is a sought-after skill in today’s global marketplace.

Read more: A Remarkable Feminist Translation By Meena Kandasamy, Of Thiruvalluvar Classic Tirukkural: The Book Of Desire

Virtual assistance

Providing virtual administrative support, managing schedules, or handling emails as a virtual assistant offers flexible hours and remote work options.

Read more: Virtual Assistant Jobs From Home In India

Photography and videography

For those with a passion for visuals, freelancing in photography or videography allows you to capture moments and tell stories through images or videos.

View here: How To Become A Professional Photographer In India – Career Ki Paathshaala

E-commerce and online selling

With the rise of e-commerce, freelancing opportunities exist in managing online stores, product listings, or digital marketing for businesses selling products online.

Read more: 10 Business Ideas For Stay At Home Moms

So what are you waiting for? Start your freelancing career today!


Image source: CanvaPro

Liked this post?

Join the 100000 women at Women's Web who get our weekly mailer and never miss out on our events, contests & best reads - you can also start sharing your own ideas and experiences with thousands of other women here!

Vidya Balan Shuts Body Shamers - Vidya Balan Interview On Being Body Positive

Comments

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Diversity and Inclusion – The Need of the Hour!

 

Diversity and Inclusion – The Path to Progress

Inclusion and Diversity. The words are often interchangeable though there are distinct differences. They are albeit, words that are familiar to most of us in today’s scenario. Recognizing and knowing about these terms is however one thing, practicing them another thing. And to effectively practice the same, the greatest requirements, literally “the need of the hour” are two things that should in any case be an intrinsic part of human nature. Sensitivity and empathy. In other words, to not only accept, but to embrace those who in big or small ways, might be different from us.

And what are those differences? Differences based on colour, background, financial capability, family values, physical appearance, mental and emotional capabilities, education, profession, and the list can go on and on and on. A single woman raising her children on her own. A same sex couple living next door. A child from an immigrant family. The help from a different religious faith working in your home. The transgender co-worker in your office.

The thing to remember is that all these people have the democratic right to make their choices, take their decisions without having to worry about any kind of judgment from anyone. The key word here is therefore “judgment”. Looking at others who may want to do things differently, and forming an uninformed, illogical and baseless opinion about them. An opinion which lacks in sensitivity, kindness, logic, empathy and all those things which really should be an intrinsic part of human behaviour.

A 2022 study by India Times said that despite being legally recognized, about 92% of transgenders are highly deprived of the right to participate in any form of economic activities in India.

Additionally, an article by The Wire brought to light how kids with special needs are being left out of mainstream education and social activities in our country. Often the problem lies in acceptance and a lack of inclusive policies.

Another study by UN Women conducted in 2019 found that there are 4.5 crore single mothers in India. These women are embracing their individuality, standing up to their decision with aplomb, bringing up their children with strength and resilience. Amazingly however, many people still look at single parents with judgement, and often treat them and their children as soft targets. Delhi based social activist, entrepreneur and TEDx speaker Leher Sethi says, “Unfortunately, despite a lot of reform and awareness, our society continues to hold prejudices against single mothers, whether divorced or otherwise. Even in the metros, acceptance of single mothers is limited, and the stigma continues to affect the life of both mother and children.”

What does all this say about us as a society? We simply have to ask ourselves this question. How heartlessly judgemental are we? Is it really that hard, that difficult to be empathetic and understanding towards other human beings?

And frankly, how can we ever hope to sensitise our children to these basic human values if we refuse to set the right examples. A UNESCO policy paper published in 2021 titled “Right from the start – build inclusive societies” spoke about a call for inclusive early childhood education embedded in the pledge of the 2030 agenda for sustainable development. More and more schools are doing their bit by bringing in inclusivity and diversity as a part of their curriculum these days and conducting regular seminars and workshops as a part of school life as well. And yes, while the correct kind of policy making is of utmost importance, practicing these core values at home is truly the most significant. After all, we can only lead by setting the right example. The onus to teach our children to be kind, sensitive, grounded, accepting human beings who the world can lean on tomorrow, lies on us. I spoke to Priya Nayak Gole, a Mumbai based Pediatric Speech Language Pathologist and she summed up the underlying, core issue very well. “Diversity is a way of life which needs social acceptance and empathy,’ said Priya. “Sensitivity is of prime importance. Only then can we hope to have inclusivity in the true sense of the word.”

 

Vidya Balan Shuts Body Shamers - Vidya Balan Interview On Being Body Positive

Comments

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Diversity and Inclusion – The Need of the Hour!

 

Diversity and Inclusion – The Need of the Hour

 

Inclusion and Diversity. The words are often interchangeable though there are distinct differences. They are albeit, words that are familiar to most of us in today’s scenario. Recognizing and knowing about these terms is however one thing, practicing them another thing. And to effectively practice the same, the greatest requirements, literally “the need of the hour” are two things that should in any case be an intrinsic part of human nature. Sensitivity and empathy. In other words, to not only accept, but to embrace those who in big or small ways, might be different from us.

And what are those differences? Differences based on colour, background, financial capability, family values, physical appearance, mental and emotional capabilities, education, profession, and the list can go on and on and on. A single woman raising her children on her own. A same sex couple living next door. A child from an immigrant family. The help from a different religious faith working in your home. The transgender co-worker in your office.

The thing to remember is that all these people have the democratic right to make their choices, take their decisions without having to worry about any kind of judgment from me and you. The key word here is therefore “judgment”. Looking at others who may want to do things differently, and forming an uninformed, illogical and baseless opinion about them. An opinion which lacks in sensitivity, kindness, logic, empathy and all those things which really should be an inherent part of human behaviour.

A 2022 study by India Times said that despite being legally recognized, about 92% of transgenders are highly deprived of the right to participate in any form of economic activities in India.

Additionally, an article by The Wire brought to light how kids with special needs are being left out of mainstream education and social activities in our country. Often the problem lies in acceptance and a lack of inclusive policies.

Another study by UN Women conducted in 2019 found that there are 4.5 crore single mothers in India. These women are embracing their individuality, standing up to their decision with aplomb, bringing up their children with strength and resilience. Amazingly however, many people still look at single parents with judgement, pity or even dislike and often treat them as soft targets. Delhi based social activist, entrepreneur and TEDx speaker Leher Sethi says, “Unfortunately, despite a lot of reform and awareness, our society continues to hold prejudices against single mothers, whether divorced or otherwise. Even in the metros, acceptance of single mothers is limited, and the stigma continues to affect the life of both mother and children.”

What does all this say about us as a society? We simply have to ask ourselves this question. How heartlessly judgemental are we? Is it really that hard, that difficult to be empathetic and understanding towards other human beings?

And frankly, how can we ever hope to sensitise our children to these basic human values if we refuse to set the right examples. A UNESCO policy paper published in 2021 titled “Right from the start – build inclusive societies” spoke about a call for inclusive early childhood education embedded in the pledge of the 2030 agenda for sustainable development. More and more schools are doing their bit by bringing in inclusivity and diversity as a part of their curriculum these days and conducting regular seminars and workshops as a part of school life as well. And yes, while the correct kind of policy making is of utmost importance, practicing these core values at home is truly the most significant. After all, we can only lead by setting the right example. The onus to teach our children to be kind, sensitive, grounded, accepting human beings who the world can lean on tomorrow, lies on us. I spoke to Priya Nayak Gole, a Mumbai based Pediatric Speech Language Pathologist and she summed up the underlying, core issue very well. “Diversity is a way of life which needs social acceptance and empathy,’ said Priya. “Sensitivity is of prime importance. Only then can we hope to have inclusivity in the true sense of the word.”

 

Vidya Balan Shuts Body Shamers - Vidya Balan Interview On Being Body Positive

Comments

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

4 Things Corporates Can Do To Address Unfair Gender Disparity That Pulls Women Down

The corporate world, despite significant advancements in gender equality, still grapples with a pervasive issue – women often have to work harder, longer, and smarter to receive the recognition and promotions that their male counterparts achieve more easily. This phenomenon, known as the gender promotion gap, reflects a complex web of biases and stereotypes that hinder women\’s career progression.

Understanding the gender promotion gap

Implicit bias: Unconscious biases play a major role in how women are evaluated in the workplace. These biases can lead to the perception that women are less competent or less dedicated to their jobs, requiring them to work harder to prove themselves.

Unequal opportunities: In many corporate environments, women are offered fewer leadership opportunities. They often need to seize these chances when they do arise and excel to a higher degree than their male peers to be noticed.

Lack of female role models: The scarcity of female role models in senior positions can create the perception that women are not as capable of reaching the top. This discouragement results in women pushing themselves even harder to break through the glass ceiling.

The extra mile women tread

Demonstrating competence: Women often need to go above and beyond to demonstrate their competence and dedication, as they may be subjected to more scrutiny and doubt. This means consistently delivering high-quality work and results.

Networking skills: Building a strong professional network is crucial for career advancement. However, women often have to invest extra effort in networking to make up for the gender disparity in senior positions.

Negotiation: Negotiating salary increases and promotions can be a challenging task for anyone, but studies have shown that women who negotiate can face backlash. To overcome this, women must be exceptionally skilled and strategic in their negotiation tactics.

Mentoring and advocacy: Seeking mentorship and finding advocates within the organization becomes a necessity for women. These mentors and advocates can provide invaluable guidance and support in navigating the corporate landscape.

How to address the gender promotion gap

Raise awareness: The first step in addressing this issue is raising awareness within organizations about the existence of the gender promotion gap. Encourage open discussions and transparency about promotion criteria.

Mentorship and sponsorship programs: Create mentorship and sponsorship programs to support women in their career growth. These programs can provide guidance, advocacy, and a platform for women to showcase their potential.

Diverse hiring and promotion panels: Ensuring that hiring and promotion panels are diverse can help mitigate biases. Multiple perspectives in decision-making processes lead to more equitable outcomes.

Work-life balance: Encourage a healthy work-life balance and flexibility for both men and women. This will help remove the stereotype that women are less committed to their careers because they have family responsibilities.

It is essential to acknowledge that women are often required to work harder and longer to overcome gender biases in the corporate world. By recognizing this issue and actively working to rectify it, organizations can harness the full potential of their workforce.

Achieving gender equality is not just about justice; it is a strategic advantage that benefits everyone in the corporate world and society as a whole. Let’s strive for a world where promotions are based on merit, not gender.

Image source: YouTube

Liked this post?

Join the 100000 women at Women's Web who get our weekly mailer and never miss out on our events, contests & best reads - you can also start sharing your own ideas and experiences with thousands of other women here!

Vidya Balan Shuts Body Shamers - Vidya Balan Interview On Being Body Positive

Comments

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Aakhir Kyon (1985) Meaning ‘But Why?’ Questions The Idea Of An ‘Ideal Indian Woman’!

Posted:

Aakhir Kyon (1985) which translates to “But Why?” is a classic film starring the legendary Smita Patil and Rajesh Khanna followed by Rakesh Roshan and Tina Munim (Ambani) directed by J. Om Prakash. This type of film is referred to as Parallel or New Indian Cinema which is inclined toward informing the audience about the reality of life and is a strong proponent of women empowerment.

Set in the industrial 80s, Aakhir Kyon sheds light on women empowerment and how women can have an identity other than being known as someone’s trophy wife and a child’s mother. In other words, it sheds light on the metamorphosis of women throughout the passage of time and multiple life experiences.

A true Smita Patil film

Aakhir Kyon is indeed a Smita Patil film in the sense that you simply cannot take your eyes off of her. She was a woman of substance, a true fighter, and a complete inspiration to all women. A game-changer back in that era where very few women actually displayed the invincible courage to stand up towards injustice and question gender equality. An exceptional artist who was a strong proponent of women empowerment and an active feminist in her personal life which organically translated on-screen.

Aakhir Kyon begins by introducing a successful and renowned novelist Asha Shri (Patil) at the launch of her 50th best-selling novel titled “Parikrama” (Predicament). As she is honoured on stage, she invites Alok (Rajesh Khanna) to accept her book presented to her by the publishers as he has been the guiding force behind encouraging her to embark upon a career in writing.

Ironically, her 50th novel revolves around her life story, hence acts as the prelude to the film seen in flashback.

A story oft repeated in Indian society

Here we find out that Asha Shri is the pen-name for Nisha Sharma (Patil). Nisha Sharma was pampered by her parents in a village and lived a joyful life. Unfortunately, a natural disaster swept away everyone in her village due to which her parents passed away. She survived and her maternal uncle (Mama) took her home with him much to the dismay of her maternal aunty (Mami) and younger cousin Indu (Tina Munim).

Nisha and Indu are two women who are diametrically opposite from each other. For instance, Nisha is someone who is homely, likes to help out in the kitchen, passively polite, and very mature. She is well-educated since she has recently earned an M.A. degree. Whereas, Indu is lively, increasingly ambitious, flirtatious, and a bit immature with only a bachelor’s degree. The main friction between the two cousins takes place when Indu falls in love with the groom’s wealthy best friend Kabir Suri (Rakesh Roshan) at Nisha’s dear friend Abha’s wedding. However, Kabir ends up asking for Nisha’s hand for marriage since he has this stereotypical mindset of what an ideal wife should be and Nisha embodies that image perfectly.

According to Kabir, an ideal wife should be conservative, homely, non-outgoing, and not have an alternative identity as a woman. This type of mindset is unacceptable and is terribly illogical. In other words, he does not feel that an outgoing career-oriented woman like Indu would be ideal as a wife to keep him happy inside the house and to be showcased as a trophy wife outside the house.

This ends up irking Indu and her mother since they had never thought Kabir would want to marry Nisha and not her. For instance, Indu says, “Joh hona tha woh to ho gaya. Lekin joh hua hai main bardasht nahi kar sakungi. Didi ke waje se meri joh behzaadi hui hai usse mein marte dum tak nahi bhul sakti.” (Whatever had to happen happened. But I cannot tolerate what has happened. I will never forget my insult that happened because of Nisha until my death!)

A typical Indian marriage…

Hence, Nisha gets married to Kabir and all seems to be going happily for them. Kabir even gifts her a lot of saris and jewelry, including a very special shawl further manifesting his love for Nisha which seems too good to be true! Nisha gets smitten by his sweet gesture and they share a passionate embrace.

Their marriage starts to steadily hit the rocks when Kabir constantly says while showing Nisha his lavish palatial mansion, “Hamari shaan aur shaukat dekhar aaj aap ko pata chal jayega ke aab aap Nisha Sharma jaise koi choti moti cheez nahi hai. Mrs. Kabir Suri jaise bahut bari hasti hai.” (Today you will realize how big Mrs. Kabir Suri is by seeing my fame and glory. You are no longer a small existence person named Nisha Sharma. Now you are a larger than life existence named Mrs. Kabir Suri).

He says this very casually without even thinking about the repercussions and whether Nisha even likes hearing these statements from him. Her facial expressions always display her dislike for such comments regarding a woman’s identity and during the course of the film, she will definitely prove him and the entire world wrong. In other words, Kabir is proudly displaying male chauvinism by boasting of his wealth and influential name.

But Nisha is not what her husband wants her to be

These remarks were said by Kabir prior to Nisha heading out as Mrs. Kabir Suri to attend the Inauguration of Women’s Welfare Society called “Aadhar.” There, she makes a rousing speech that echoes the vibration of women empowerment. For instance, she proclaims,

“Behnon yaha aakhar aap khud ko chota naa samjhiye. Yeh maat samjhiye ke aap gunehgaar hai. Aur aap ko zindagi bhar saza bhugatni hai. Bilkul nahi. Joh kuch bhi hua usse bhul jaiye. Aur lagan aur bharose ke saath ek nayi shuruaat kijiye. Mujshe vishwaas hai ki sapaltha aapke paon chumegi. Mandiron aur gharon mein rakhein devi ki murti hee shakti nahi hai. Aap khudbi ek shakti hai jisme kaam karni ki aur sehne ki apar taaqat hai. Yeh apni taaqat aap khud pehchaniye aur Aadhar ko sirf apni manzil na samajkar uss manzil tak pahuchaane wali rail gari hee samjhiye.”

To translate: Sisters, please do not consider yourself small upon coming here. Do not consider yourself as a criminal. And you have to face a life sentence. Absolutely not! Whatever has happened, please forget it. Please start your new life with dedication and trust. I believe that success will touch your feet. Goddesses worshiped in temples and houses are not the only sources of strength. You are a strength yourself who has the power to work and endure obstacles. Please recognize your own strength and consider “Aadhar” as not only a destination, but rather a train or car that will drive you towards your destination.

He wanted a trophy wife to hide his real ways

Within 30 mins of the film, we find out that Kabir is actually a womanizer who engages in multiple sexual relationships with other women. He ends up lying to Nisha saying that he is out on the pretext of work and meetings. Holi arrives and Kabir gives Nisha the responsibility of arranging a Holi party while encouraging Indu to be invited. Now this seems like the inevitable invitation for disaster and marital discord in Nisha’s life.

A peppy and festive Holi song titled “Saat Rang Mein Khel Rahi Hai Dilwalon Ki Holi ” showcasing the flirtatious romance between Kabir and Indu. Nisha watches and smiles but does not take it to heart.

Then Nisha gets pregnant but it turns out that her pregnancy has some complications. This leads to Indu volunteering to move in with them in the pretext of taking care of Nisha in her vulnerable state. Kabir is more than happy to have Indu move in with them, but nobody bothered to ask Nisha what she really wants and if she is actually happy with the idea of Indu moving in. However, Indu has an ulterior motive which unravels later on in the plot.

She ends up sleeping together with Kabir unbeknownst to Nisha who is confined to the ground floor as her OB/GYN advised her to not climb the stairs. In one of the scenes, we can see her cozying up to Kabir by stitching the broken buttons of his shirt and Kabir does get enamored by her tactics.

During her pregnancy, Nisha eventually does get an idea of what is going on around the house leaving her morally shaken. Both Kabir and Indu shrewdly take advantage of her vulnerable condition and end up forming an intimate relationship which is demoralizing to witness.

Eventually, Nisha gives birth to a baby girl and Kabir simply leaves with Indu and her mom without even seeing Nisha and their newborn baby. This shatters Nisha even more when she regains consciousness and asks to see Kabir alongside their newborn baby. During one of the scenes where Kabir and Indu are shown sleeping together, the painting of a ship drowning amidst a tumultuous storm symbolizes the subsequent culmination of Nisha and Kabir’s marriage.

The turning point occurs when she realizes Indu wore the special shawl that she cherishes closely to her heart at an event and her husband revealing their extramarital affair further breaks her apart, leaving her heartbroken. She utters these lines while shedding tears of anguish,

“Tumne yeh shawl pehna! Tumhari himmat kaise hui. Saab jaante hai, tum bhi jaante ho iss shawl mein meri pran basse hui hai. Phir bhi tumhi isse haat kaise lagaya. Tum chali jao yehase. Chali jao!” To translate: You wore this shawl! How dare you. Everyone knows, even you know that my soul resides in this specific shawl. How did you even touch it! Go away from here. Go away!

Kabir gets surprised when Nisha leaves a social gathering upon seeing Indu with him and everyone mistaking Indu as his wife. He did not expect Nisha to be outspoken and stand against injustice. Their exchange of words goes as follows:

Nisha: “Sharam bhi aata hai jab koi mujshe Mrs. Kabir yeah Bhabhiji kehta hai.” (I feel embarrassed when someone refers to me as Mrs. Kabir or Bhabhiji).

To which Kabir replies, “Oh, toh tumhe bolna bhi aata hai.” (Oh, so you know how to speak!).

Nisha: “Itne dinon se khamoshi toh hoo Kabir. Yeh khamoshi mujhe andar hee andar kahte ja rehi hai. Aab mujhe aur nahi shaha jaata. Apni aankhon ke saamne apni suhaag cheenta mujhe nahi bardaast hota Kabir.” (I have been silent all these days Kabir. This silence is killing me from the inside. Now I cannot tolerate this anymore. I cannot bear to witness my husband being snatched from me!).

Nisha finally realizes that her self-worth and identity are on the verge of destruction. The type of woman she is, she decides to leave Kabir’s house with her newborn daughter. Unfortunately, Kabir interferes and prevents her from taking their daughter, further leaving her shattered and helpless.

Hence, Nisha leaves without her daughter in the new journey of life which will highlight a married woman’s thirst for independence and newfound identity. Not knowing which direction her life will take her, she resorts to asking for refuge at the same Women’s Welfare Society called “Aadhar” which she once inaugurated as Mrs. Kabir Suri.

Reclaiming her identity

As an avid observer of how films and particular scenes are constructed, I have to point out the intricate symbolism of one of Smita Patil’s scenes. The scene where she painfully cries her heart out when her husband forbids her from taking her daughter. This is symbolized by the breaking of her child’s glass milk bottle. She ends up holding her close to her heart before bidding the heart-wrenching goodbye to her daughter. This painful goodbye to her daughter is further showcased via her stepping on the broken pieces of glass leaving behind her bloody footprints. This brings back to mind the parallels between her walking into her husband’s house all cheerful and optimistic as a newly wedded bride to now leaving as a deserted woman with an enormous amount of heartbreak.

After leaving Kabir’s house, she delivers a soliloquy internally by revealing her inner thoughts:

“Nahin mein Mrs. Kabir Suri nahi! Nisha hoon. Nisha Sharma. Mujhe abhi zindagi se larne ki taaqat baki hai. Mein larungi. Mein chalungi. Bina kisi baishake mein chalungi. Kam se kam koshish zaroor karungi.” To translate: No, I’m not Mrs. Kabir Suri! I’m Nisha. Nisha Sharma. I still have the tenacity to fight life within me. I will fight! I will walk. I will walk without any crutches. At least I will definitely try!

As a woman, I can relate to Nisha Sharma because it is not always easy to survive in a male-dominated world. This was more the scenario back in the 1980s. As a woman, it is crucial to have a mindset that advocates for strength, courage, and a “never give up” attitude. She set out to prove to the world that a woman is not a public property who is meant to be taken for granted. Rather, she is someone who has a distinct identity.

Moving on in the storyline, Nisha starts working at “Aadhar” and plans a charity program. The program is dedicated to celebrating “World Women’s Decade Concluding Year”. Here, Alok portrayed by the original Superstar (Rajesh Khanna) enters as the exuberant ray of hope and light into Nisha’s life. He is a videographer assigned to cover Nisha’s charity program. He instantly gets smitten by Nisha’s endearing performance on this song titled “Komal Hai Kamzor Nahi Hai Tu Shakti Ka Naam Hee Nari Hai” (You are soft but not weak, Strength is synonymous with women) with her group of girls.

Within a few days, she gets offered a prominent position at India’s first TV channel founded by the Government of India: Doordarshan as a cultural show anchor. Ironically, this is where Smita Patil started her career before becoming an actress. Her versatility in the myriad author-backed roles she portrayed on-screen illustrates the remarkable talent she was known for in the Indian film Industry. This is the result of Alok’s observation of her talent and script for her Charity Show. Her voice and vivacious personality are elegantly captured during the Doordarshan scenes in the film.

During one of the shows, some men taunt and insult Nisha about her views on love by proclaiming that her husband left her and she couldn’t do anything to save her marriage. Angered by these horrible men, Alok jumps in and engages in a physical fight since he could not tolerate anyone pointing fingers at Nisha. This subtly reveals Alok’s subdued romantic feelings for Nisha from the moment he saw her and her talent.

This leads to Alok resigning from his job and working elsewhere as a videographer. It is revealed that it has been 3 years since Nisha became independent and as destiny would call it, she comes face to face with her ex Mr. Kabir Suri and now Mrs. Indu Kabir Suri at an event that she helped organize with Alok.

In this event, Nisha renders the sublime rendition of the harmoniously impactful song “Dushman Na Kare Dost Ne Woh Kaam Kiya Hai Umra Bhar Ka Gham Hume Inaam Diya Hai” which highlights the agony inflicted to her by her ex-husband and cousin.

A new life going forward

Alok ends up encouraging Nisha to continue staying strong while bravely facing all the curveballs thrown in life by using her pen as her weapon. Thus, her writing career begins with her listening to Alok’s suggestion on changing her name from Nisha to Asha. To illustrate, he utters: “Aap ke lekhan mein zindagi se larne ka woh uthsaah hai, woh sahas hai, ke aap apne naam badalkar Nisha se Asha rakh lijiye.” (Your writing has the encouragement and courage to fight life that you should change your name from Nisha to Asha (Hope).

Another burst of sorrow enters Nisha’s life when she is forbidden to see her daughter at her school by Indu when she returns all her gifts she has given her. This heartbreak instigates Nisha to contemplate suicide but Alok arrives as the knight in shining armor to prevent her from doing so. Within a few minutes, he ends up singing this rhythmically stimulating melody titled “Ek Andhera Lakh Sitare” written by Nisha to further remind her of her radiant words of positivity.

Ek andhera lakh sitare (One darkness thousands of stars)
Ek nirasha lakh sahaare (One loss of hope thousands of supporters)
Saab se bari shogat hai jeevan (The most precious gift is of life)
Nadaan hai joh jeevan se haare (Naive are those who give up from life)
Duniya ki yeh bhagiya asi (The garden of the world is like)
Jitne kaate phool bhi uthne (As many thorns there are, so are there many flowers)
Daaman mein khud aa jayenge (They will come into your life)
Jinke taraaf tu haath basare (Towards whom you spread your hands)
Beete hue kal ki khatir tu (For the sake of the past)
Aane wala kal maat khona (Don’t lose the upcoming future)
Jaane kon kahan se aakar (Who knows from where someone will come)
Rahe teri phir se saware (To adorn your path)
Dukh se agar pehchaan na ho toh (If you are not acquainted with sorrow)
Kaisa sukh aur kaise khusiyaan (Then what kind of joy and happiness)
Toofanon se ladkar hee toh lagte hai sahil kitne pyaare (After fighting with the storm, the bank of the sea looks so beautiful)

It is indeed a miracle to have someone like Alok who gives you stamina while engaging in light-hearted humor. His supportive nature and valuable words of positivity ends up uplifting Nisha’s mood while unleashing a delightful laugh.

Near the end of Aakhir Kyon, the audience witnesses that Nisha’s ex-husband Mr. Kabir Suri has faced extensive financial losses in his publishing company leading to bankruptcy. Both Indu and Kabir are repenting for their sins and how wrongly they have treated Nisha. The proverb: “As you sow, so shall you reap” is exemplified intensely during these climactic scenes.

Without spoiling the end too much, the irony lies in the fact that Nisha’s ex-husband owns a publishing company and her novels published under the name Asha Shri are emerging as best-sellers. It is without a doubt that Nisha decides to sell the publishing rights of her latest novel to Kabir as the ultimate gift for her daughter’s wedding. The royalty she requests tearfully is that her daughter never finds out that Asha Shri is her real biological mother.

Kabir repents for his mistakes and his misconstrued idea of what an ideal wife should be like. Nisha did prove him wrong and this is the major slap in the face to him. He asks Nisha for forgiveness and invites her to their daughter’s wedding.

Now the burning questions that arise are does Nisha actually attend her daughter’s wedding? Does her daughter ever find out that Asha Shri is her mother? Is Indu able to ask for forgiveness like Kabir? Does Alok succeed in changing the season and welcoming blossoming spring into Nisha’s life?

As Alok previously told Nisha, “Mausam ek jaisa nahi rehta…Patjhar ke baat bahar ko aane hee parta hai. Mausam ka badalne ka intezaar mujhe bhi aata hai!” which translates to: The season never stays the same. After fall, spring has to come. Even I know how to wait for the season to change!

Liked this post?

Join the 100000 women at Women's Web who get our weekly mailer and never miss out on our events, contests & best reads - you can also start sharing your own ideas and experiences with thousands of other women here!

Vidya Balan Shuts Body Shamers - Vidya Balan Interview On Being Body Positive

Comments

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

#YesIDidIt A Unique Story Of Grit And Courage

Posted:

Indumati’s husband had been laid off from his job as one of the consequences this deadly pandemic had caused. She lost her house and her kid’s education was discontinued. In an instant, her not-so-perfect yet sorted and settled life had gone haywire and she felt misplaced and disoriented in the rich tapestry of life.

 

Indumati with her family moved to her village where they owned an old and run-down house and a piece of land.  Though they did not struggle to meet both ends’ needs, they were far from leading a normal and decent life.

 

 Her husband engrossed himself in looking for a new job, and she took charge of the kids’ studies and started homeschooling them.

 

One day while she was taking a stroll in her neighbourhood she heard heart-piercing mourns coming from a cob house. The man of the house had died of corona and the lady survived with two of her kids. They were struggling to make ends meet as her husband was the only earning person. This incident penetrated Indumati’s heart.

 

Job loss and loss of life had left the entire village in a state of complete despair and distress. Adversity and hardships had hit every household hard.

One day while Indumati was cleaning her store room, her eyes fell on the sewing machines covered by an old and threadbare and dusty sheet. While the coronavirus has forced people to observe home confinement and travel and shopping restrictions being in effect Indumati started sewing her and her kid’s essentials at home to meet their clothing requirements.

She mended small tears, replaced lost buttons and broken zips and reused the clothes which otherwise she would have thrown away.

 

 Though she was inept she had absorbed a few basic sewing skills from her mother-in-law who was adept in the field and had a profound knowledge of the intricacies of sewing and craftsmanship. She used to stitch garments for the entire household by herself. She found great joy and satisfaction in sewing. She also imparted free lessons on sewing to women who expressed the desire to learn, when she was alive.

 

After her death, all the machines were sitting and gathering dust. She just got a few repairs done that they needed and they were back up and running as well as ever.

 

An idea conceived in her mind. After some time When the impact of the pandemic subsided and restrictions were relaxed, She put all the machines in a room and offered women of the village to bring their fabrics and sewing accessories along and stitch their garments to meet their clothing needs.

When women heard of the offer, they started pouring in with their fabrics and stitching the clothes of their choice and fitting. They were happy to see those old machines in working condition back again. They remembered their good old days when they used to come there to learn sewing from their mother-in-law.

 

There were no restrictions, everyone came as per their time and did their work. And while leaving, they would give many blessings to Indumati. Indumati also enjoyed watching them sewing and talking to them while they worked there. It saved those women the cost of buying clothes and also kept them engaged and active.

 

Their sewing encompassed from blouses, petticoats, kurtas, and salwar to nighties and gowns.

 

Soon the stories of their work started being talked about in their own and neighbouring village. Seeing their excellent tailoring and design friends and neighbours started giving them orders.

 

Some even started sending in their children to learn the basics of sewing.

 

Now it was time to take their sewing skill a notch higher. It was time to turn their hobbies into business.

 Instead of working individually, they decided to work as a team, they divided themselves into groups and worked in shifts depending on the orders they received.

The job of taking orders and payments was entrusted to Indumati as she was skilled in bookkeeping and accounting.

 

They decided to save all the money for the first year so that they could buy a couple of state-of-the-art machines which performed embroidery and engraved other designs on the fabric.  Equipped with techniques and technology these machines sped up their work and made them more proficient and professional.

 

 Their happiness knew no bounds when they bagged their first big order of sewing all the garments from an affluent family for their daughter’s Marriage. Lahanga, salwar suits, blouses, petticoats and embroidery, they had a lot on their plate. They knew the success of their start-up depended on the completion of this big order. They worked day and night and with their dedication and determination, they completed the order on time. All the stitched garments turned out beautiful and well-fitting.

 

Their tailoring skill and workmanship won much praise and admiration and brought many new customers on board.

 

In the subsequent course of time, they applied for women business loans for young women entrepreneurs that the government had started. After going through all the processes and procedures they qualified for it and eventually, a loan was sanctioned for their flourishing business. They celebrated their success and at the same time geared up to face new challenges to take their business to the next level.

Indumati with a few other women attended many workshops to enhance their communication skills and decision-making.

 

She also attended seminars for the better performance of her team and to keep them motivated and positive.

Those who were unbeknownst and helpless till yesterday had become the talk of the town today. Those who were housewives till yesterday had become the businesswomen today. With their resilience and hard work they brought about a wave of change.

Vidya Balan Shuts Body Shamers - Vidya Balan Interview On Being Body Positive

Comments

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Being Judge(mental)!

Posted:

During my childhood, I have been body-shamed several times by many of my relatives. However, then I used to be under the impression that this was because I was born defective. Probably, I must be belonging to the genre of girls who were not going to be admired or accepted for their beauty.

As time went by, I began to use more of full-sleeved clothes. This helped to hide my skinny arms, which seemed like a defect that was bestowed on me purposely. I would become miserable when the remarks were hurled at me, especially during family gatherings. I believe that nobody except me would feel hurt hearing all these.

Likewise, I grieved in my little corner. But, after a while, these comments grew when it was time to drape a saree. The blouses that I had to wear made my arms look very prominent. I despised a saree. By and by, matters grew better as I was able to overcome these negative remarks either with a smile or a pinch of salt.

The snide remarks became lesser when I relocated to Bangalore. I was learning to overcome my ‘little defects’ and was building on my confidence slowly, but steadily. I was under the impression that matters and mindsets would change by the time I returned to Kerala, the state with the highest literacy rate. People seemed quite nice and everything seemed bliss, till last week. By now, I had married and had been blessed with two children.

But, now, it was my daughter’s turn to become embarrassed by the remarks of the second generation of those very people who had insulted me. She was lost for words when an eight-year-old child bluntly asked her whether she was wearing a loose t-shirt to hide her supposedly lean body. She took a few minutes to reel back, but the array of questions from the boy were incessant. He kept belittling her, and she tried defending herself, but to no avail.

The entire incident shook both of us considerably. I am lost because I realise that these comments of body-shaming can never end because kids too get sucked up into that vicious cycle, both as perpetrators and as victims. My daughter felt that it was not just the old generation, but the youngsters too, who she needed to ward away.

Why can’t we be polite to people? Why can’t we nurture a generation who makes others feel loved and cared? Why don’t we teach our next generation to be a little less egoistic and a little more empathetic? Why do we have to keep pointing at people and call them names like, “skinny”, “fatty”, “lanky”, “blacky”? Can you please be less judgemental, more understanding and obviously more accommodating to people who might look “different” from your “set standards”?

Vidya Balan Shuts Body Shamers - Vidya Balan Interview On Being Body Positive

Comments

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Mischief Managed – When I Bunked School

Posted:

I belonged to a conservative middle-class family. My father was a strict disciplinarian and made sure rules and orders were obeyed in the family. He hated it when any of us remained outside after sundown. He praised punctuality and despised procrastination, especially those who delayed through laziness and apathy.

We grew up listening to these idioms, “Early to bed and early to rise, make a man healthy, wealthy and wise”, and “an early bird catches the worms.” Like a good daughter, I have followed all the rules to this day.

This is from when I had just turned sixteen

The surging hormonal events were contributing to my adolescent behavioral and emotional change trajectories in both positive and negative directions.

Valuing my own independence and making my own decisions were some of the main characteristics of behavior change.

I could feel there was a rebel growing behind this innocent and gullible facade who loved breaking the rules and trying out gutsy things. Fearlessness and audacity were bubbling up inside me. Taking risks and doing the stuff that I feared most tickled my fancy more than anything else.

I was at school. It was the last period before the lunch break.

Playing truant from school

Math sir gave us a problem and announced let’s see who uses her brain the most and solve this? Far from this, my mind was engaged in something else. I looked at two of my other friends Maya and Nitya and smiled inwardly at what was going on in our minds and what we were up to next. Though with our heads down we pretended to solve the problem.

As soon as the bell rang, we gathered notebooks and other stationeries, and before anybody could comprehend anything the three of us quietly walked out of the school premises in the blink of an eye.

We walked and walked until we reached Maya’s house, it was empty as both her parents were working and both were going to return late today.

We came out of our school uniform and slipped into a nice pair of jeans and top. We undid our hair, removed the ribbon and clips, brushed it thoroughly, and left it loose and bouncy.

We rushed to the nearest movie theater which was just a few minutes walk from Maya’s residence. We had bunked our classes to watch this movie together which otherwise was not attainable. Belonging to a traditional family watching movies in the theater wasn’t perceived as virtuous and decent in the first place let alone watching with friends.

But I was headstrong and unruly

We secretly bought tickets and went inside the hall. We were on guard and avoided interactions with anyone to be noticed and recognized by any of our acquaintances. There was no dearth of our relatives and friends in the city who were such tattle tales that they were always on the lookout for such opportunities and later added fuel to the fire.

We finished watching and went back to Maya’s home. We changed back to school attire grabbed our bags and I took a rickshaw home but intentionally left it on the main road and walked on foot home. Because I never traveled by rickshaw unless it called for an emergency.

The moment I stepped inside the home I was bombarded with questions for which I had an inkling and I was prepared.

Where were you, why did you come so late today? Haven’t you become disobedient and rude nowadays?

My father asked furiously. His voice raised, eyebrows furrowed and his skin reddened with anger.

I said in a calm voice, Papa, the exam is near so I was studying with Maya.  The mother was aware of it.

I used to go there often so Father did not get suspicious and the mention of Mother subsided his wrath and irritation.

But when I saw my math sir sitting next to Dad, I was at my wit’s end. He used to live in the same mohalla and was a good friend of my father.

I was frozen with fear, what was he here for, did he get wind of our sudden disappearance from school? I was still brooding over it when I heard his voice, did you solve the question given in class?

I shook my head and said I am trying and scurried to my room.

I wanted this time to pass quickly without any further queries. I ate dinner and went to sleep early on the pretext of a headache.

I thought that I hid my misdeed and managed the situation. But a small doubt crept into my mind what would if people noticed our disappearance from school and complained about it to the principal? This would open a whole can of worms and things would go from bad to worse, I sighed.

Liked this post?

Join the 100000 women at Women's Web who get our weekly mailer and never miss out on our events, contests & best reads - you can also start sharing your own ideas and experiences with thousands of other women here!

Vidya Balan Shuts Body Shamers - Vidya Balan Interview On Being Body Positive

Comments

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Aparna Liked Motherhood; She Just Wanted A Holiday From It Now And Then!

Posted: December 12, 2023
Tags:

It was one of those nights. The baby was on a sleep strike, my breasts were sore from posing as the milk bank for hours, and I was planning to google ways to put back the baby inside me. But, then time works funnily. While it seemed the hours were endless, the days passed in a jiffy. And before I knew it, the baby grew into a toddler, with a new set of challenges.

But, why I am talking about this 3 years late? Because the vivid memories came back strong as I read Aparna’s Year of the Elephant by Sowmya Rajendran.

The author’s wisdom and wit made what could have been a mundane read, an enjoyable one. You would find yourself chuckling at the situations that could happen with any of us. At places, Aparna’s tale reads like an autobiography (even the names are similar you see – Sreeparna/Aparna).

I could see myself empathizing with Aparna, wishing to be an elephant. The baby elephants who do not require cleaning up after them, do seem to be a blessing after the hundredth diaper change. On a side note, the elephant momma might have had her share of woes which we will never know.

Everybody needs a holiday; even a mother!

Coming back to the much relatable story of the young mother, anxious about her body image, insecure about her personality post-partum, and scheming to get the husband clear the baby poop – I could hear myself speaking to the protagonist, “I know the feeling, trust me. And this too shall pass.”

Each mother experiences their unique journey through motherhood but when I saw thoughts like, “Aparna liked motherhood. She just wanted a holiday from it now and then,” I felt she was my soul sister. Everybody needs a holiday. Even a mother.

But the part that was closest to my experience was perhaps the ubiquitous complaint of the in-laws and relatives, ‘Oh why is the baby so thin’. You would have just wrestled for an hour to feed your child and the shrapnel is targeted at you shattering all your confidence as a mother. In our country, chubby babies are equal to healthy (after a few years though these are the very people who will be behind your life to reduce the weight of the ‘fat’ child). Ask this mom of a 3-year-old who has always been on the ‘wrong’ side of the average weight,’ how tormenting the experience is as the mother is judged unnecessarily.

There was so much that was relatable to each mother!

As I swam through the pages of the quick read, I realized I could relate to each word as they talked about us, our female friendship, our partners, our secret desires, and the ups and downs of the relationship of new parents. We all have been there, and done that. From the new mother’s woes to the over-emotional mother-in-law and the balancing husband – the characters were straight out of our drawing rooms. What was appreciable was how the bullet was dodged cleverly and it never turned into a saas-bahu cliché trope.

And while there were family dramas, there were the friends. We all need our herd. But with friends come their baggage. And the story scored well for me as unlike many clichéd portrayals, the book doesn’t overshadow the life of the friends with the problems of the protagonist.

Also, do not be fooled by the synopsis about an overwhelmed new mother having a new man entering her life. This book humorously steers away from those typical guilt-ridden affair stories (to my relief).

If I may nitpick the only character that did not work for me in this much-relatable saga was the ‘other man – Ved’. But, then that is a subjective call.

Overall this book helped me to come out of my prolonged reading slump and Sowmya gave me a friend to look up to who despite being the ‘heroine’ in her world navigates through problems that I face daily.

Want a copy of this book?

If you’d like to pick up Aparna’s Year of the Elephant by Sowmya Rajendran, use our affiliate links at Amazon Indiaand at Amazon US.

Women’s Web gets a small share of every purchase you make through these links, and every little helps us continue bringing you the reads you love!

Image source: by Jelena Stanojkovic from Getty Images Free for Canva Pro. Book cover Amazon.

Liked this post?

Join the 100000 women at Women's Web who get our weekly mailer and never miss out on our events, contests & best reads - you can also start sharing your own ideas and experiences with thousands of other women here!

Vidya Balan Shuts Body Shamers - Vidya Balan Interview On Being Body Positive

Comments

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

All Categories