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<span;>•Wedding•
<span;>Twenty three broken mirrors <span;>Glazed with the hazelnut ice-cream of your wedding <span;>Slashed eyeballs rolling down the savannah green floor <span;>Fresh milk spilling over the granite kitchen slab <span;>Smoke rising from burning cigarettes <span;>And a few hopes crying
<span;>Women wearing pretty white gowns <span;>Their cheeks painted in red and golden <span;>Grooving, holding their red heels <span;>Sliced lemons dipped in white wine <span;>Cherry lips wet with dew <span;>It\’s sour, ashes falling down the sky
<span;>Faces flocking towards the altar <span;>Gapings mouths chewing steaks <span;>Jealous fingers scratching the table enveloped in white sheets <span;>Thunderous laughter sealing promises <span;>Young bride winking wrapped in your arms <span;>Bouquet of flowers brooding, seething
<span;>Water running down the tap <span;>An overcooked chicken rotting in the oven <span;>Wrinkled blue t-shirt stained with black coffee <span;>White bedsheets crawling down the bed <span;>Enshrouding me, blinding red lights <span;>A strange choking smell
<span;>Jumbled alphabets swimming in a cup of tea <span;>Hazy winter mornings drowning in a sea of grief <span;>Violet of Dali\’s Cenicitas devouring my skin <span;>White flesh mixed with salt and pepper <span;>Boiling hot oil splashing, half-burnt fingers <span;>Slicing the pomegranates
<span;>Torn hairs, a bottle of ink and a fountain pen <span;>Unfinished sentences basking in memories of your smile <span;>Cold nights, razor sharp blade <span;>Holding my breath <span;>I see you in shades of black and white <span;>My wrinkled spring in autumn nights
<span;>~ I wanna be loved by you, alone! ~
<span;>Srilekha Mitra
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Once incomplete, in shadows, I stood,
Yearning for you to complete me, I would.
A desire for your presence, a need so strong,
To be complemented by you all along.
Craving warmth, love’s tender hold,
Your absence etched lines of sorrows untold.
A void echoed where you should be,
But through it, I found the missing me.
Now, in solitude, I stand strong and clear,
No longer needing nor wanting you, my dear.
I’ve found completeness within my grace,
Embracing wholeness, in a solo embrace.
Current Time
Dharapuram is a small village nestled amid the verdant hills of southern India. Around the corner, change was stirring, but the people were oblivious. The villagers were preparing for the upcoming local elections, a routine event that had always unfolded predictably. Men would run for office, women would vote, yet their voices remained unheard in the council chambers.
Among these women was Vasudha, a 40-year-old school teacher. Smart and articulate, she had always been a keen observer of the political dynamics in her village. She noticed how decisions made by the all-male council often overlooked or even hindered the needs of half the population. The lack of schools, healthcare facilities, and safe public spaces for women and children were glaring issues that were repeatedly ignored.
One day, as she walked through the bustling village market, Vasudha overheard a group of women discussing the upcoming elections. “What’s the point?” one woman lamented. “Nothing ever changes for us.” Vasudha paused, her mind racing with thoughts. It was then that she made a decision that would alter the course of her life and her village.
“Politics is not a woman’s play,” scoffed Ramesh, the incumbent council head, as he sipped chai at the village square. “Let her try. The council is no place for idealistic dreams.”
Vasudha, undeterred, walked door to door, her sari fluttering like a banner of defiance. “Why should we suffer in silence?” she implored the women, her eyes alight with determination. “Our voices matter. It’s time they are heard.”
Vasudha announced her candidacy for the local council. Her decision was met with a mixture of surprise, skepticism, and support. Motivated by the desire to bring about tangible changes and ensure that the voices of women were heard and acted upon, she embarked on her journey to challenge the status quo and advocate for more inclusive governance.
In her small, dimly-lit living room, her husband Arun watched her prepare for another meeting. “Aren’t you afraid?” he asked, his voice tinged with worry.
One evening, as Vasudha laid out her plans on the dining table, Arun looked up from his tea, his brows furrowed with concern.
“Vasudha, politics is a treacherous path, especially for a woman,” he said, his voice laced with worry.
Vasudha’s eyes narrowed. “Not meant for me? Because I am a woman?”
She paused, then smiled softly. “Fear is a luxury we can’t afford, Arun,” she said. “If not me, who? If not now, when?”
Arun sighed, the lines on his forehead deepening. “It’s not just about stepping forward. It’s about the backlash, the talk of the village. Our lives will never be the same.”
Vasudha’s voice was firm. “Arun, I am not made of glass. I have ideas, strength. I can’t let archaic notions dictate what I can or cannot do.”
She reached across the table, her hand gently covering his. “Change never comes easy, dear. But imagine a future where our daughter can walk safely, where she has the same opportunities as any boy in this village. Isn’t that a cause worth fighting for? And I fear for what will happen if we remain silent. I need you with me in this, Arun. Together, we can face anything.”
The tension between them underscored a deeper personal struggle, reflecting the complexity of changing gender roles within their own relationship.
“Arun, do you not know about the significant advancement towards gender equality in Indian politics that revolves around the Women’s Reservation Bill, also known as Nari Shakti Vandan Adhiniyam?”
“These are all hoaxes, Vasudha.”
“Not true,” Vasudha pressed. “Passed as the Constitution (128th Amendment) Bill, it aims to reserve 33 percent of seats in the Lok Sabha, state assemblies, and the National Capital Territory of Delhi for women. This law, officially promulgated on September 29, 2023, represents a substantial effort to address the gender disparity in Indian politics, where women currently occupy only about 15 percent of Lok Sabha seats, and in many state legislative assemblies, less than 10 percent of seats are held by women.”
Under the dim light of their kitchen, Arun’s voice trembled with unspoken fears. “You don’t understand, Vasudha! If you win, they’ll say I am less of a man. They’ll mock me, saying I’m overshadowed by my wife.”
Vasudha, her patience waning, retorted sharply, “So, this is about your ego? About what others think?”
“It’s not just ego,” Arun shot back, frustration evident. “It’s about respect, about the order of things. I don’t want to be the husband who is pitied because his wife wears the pants.”
Arun, grappling with his emotions, fell silent. The conflict laid bare the complex interplay of societal norms, personal pride, and the struggle to adapt to changing gender roles.
Arun’s traditional views were shaped during his childhood in a small, conservative village. Growing up, he observed a clear division of roles: men handled public affairs and politics, while women were the caretakers of home and family. His father, a respected village elder, often said, “A man’s strength lies in leading, a woman’s in nurturing.” These words echoed in Arun’s mind throughout his life, creating a deep-seated belief that politics was an unsuitable and harsh arena for women, a place where he feared Vasudha’s gentle nature and nurturing spirit would be undervalued and possibly even harmed.
Vasudha’s eyes flashed with anger. “And what about my aspirations? Should I suppress who I am because of archaic notions of pride and ‘order’?”
Arun, though initially hesitant, stood by her, proud of her courage.
Two Years Later in the Future, 2025 The Story Unfolded.
Her campaign was a grassroots effort. Vasudha visited every home, spoke at local gatherings, and held small meetings where she listened more than she spoke. She talked about tangible changes – a new school, improved healthcare facilities, and safer streets. Her approach was different; it was not about promises, but about practical solutions.
On the day of the election, the village saw an unprecedented number of women at the polling booths. Their presence was a silent yet powerful statement. When the votes were counted, Vasudha had won by a significant margin. The village had elected its first female council member.
Vasudha’s victory was not just a personal achievement but a beacon of hope for the women of Dharapuram. Her success inspired other women in the village. Vasudha’s journey in Dharapuram was a testament to the power of representation. It showed that when women are part of the decision-making process, it leads to more inclusive and effective governance. Her story was not just about gender equality in politics but about the transformation it brings to communities and lives.
We women have to move forward now, to bring a change in the future.
Growing up in a convent school, Christmas was more than just a holiday; it was a magical time filled with traditions and joy. The decorations, the songs, and the sense of togetherness made me fall head over heels for this festive season.
Women have always had a big part in the stories that celebrate Christmas. Take A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, for example. We all know about Scrooge, but what about Belle, his former flame? She showed us that love and relationships matter more than money, and her influence changed everything during the holidays.
Image source: Unsplash
Over time, Christmas stories started giving us stronger, more interesting women. Books like Winter Street by Elin Hilderbrand showcase women dealing with family drama and finding their strength during the holidays. These stories go beyond the usual, giving us characters who feel real.
Movies also got in on the action, showing women taking charge during Christmas. Have you seen ‘The Holiday’? It’s about two women who swap homes and find new love and friendships.
Image source: The Holiday promo pictures
Then there’s ‘Last Christmas’, where Emilia Clarke’s character goes through ups and downs, just like we do, making her journey feel relatable during the festive season.
Image source: Last Christmas
Art has its own way of capturing the spirit of Christmas through female artists. Mary Cassatt, for instance, painted heartwarming scenes of women and kids during this time, showing us the warmth and love in the season.
Image source: Mary Cassatt, The New Yorker
Image source: Mary Cassatt, Mothers and Daughters in Art
And artists like Judy Chicago celebrate women’s strength and their experiences during the holidays through colorful and powerful artworks.
Image source: Judy Chicago, Herstory in Apollo Magazine
The way women are portrayed in Christmas stories and art has changed a lot. It’s not just about traditional roles anymore; it’s about showing real, strong women with their own stories to tell. These stories and artworks remind us of the importance of women’s experiences, relationships, and journeys during this special time of year.
Image source: by Trendsetter Images Free for Canva Pro
This incident happened a few years ago when Farheena (my daughter with special needs) had been at home most of the time for almost a month due to the shifting of her vocational center and delay in the arrangement of transport for her due to starting hiccups. She has either been in a Special School or her Vocational Center most of her life, giving me a gap of 7-8 hours every day to catch up with my personal venture or activities. Since she was home, I had to tag her along with me if I had to go out, since she was not confident about staying home alone.
On one Tuesday, we both visited a hospital where I went on rounds for a programme I was working with. On these rounds, we meet newly diagnosed patients and talk to them, giving them hope since we are the survivors of the illness they are fighting.
Farheena first refused to come and said she would stay back, then changed her mind again and came with me. She told me that she would sit in the front office and wait for me to finish my work, but she would not talk or make friends with anyone there. I said, “OK”. Next, she sneaked in a biryani treat for her on her way back home. I agreed.
As promised, Farheena sat in the front office with two staff ladies, and we went on our rounds. I called them once between work and was assured Farheena was comfortable and doing fine. The girl kept her promise and behaved in the hospital but refused to talk or make friends there. Also refused to eat anything in the hospital canteen. On my way back, I had a few more tasks to complete, and then Farheena got her Biryani Treat. On her way back, she wanted a selfie with me and gave me a big smile.
Again a few days later when I told her I was going to meet a friend, Farheena said she did not want to join us since she had planned to watch some programs. At the same time, she did not want to stay back alone either.
I calmly told her she had a choice: join us or stay back.. She requested that I cancel my plan and stay with her, and I calmly said, “NO.”
So Farheena announced, “I will come with you, but I will not talk, smile, eat, or drink anything. I will not say Hi as well”.
I was in a dilemma about how to handle this. It becomes pretty awkward and embarrassing for me (and my son Rayyan sometimes) when Farheena ignores everyone talking to her and pretends that no one around her exists. Some people have even wondered whether they have offended her in anyway until I convince them it is not so, but just one of her moods.
I did not want Farheena to hold me back from doing what I should at work. If I allowed her to stop me this time, she could feel she can do it again, and it may change her and me permanently, which may not be in a positive way.
So when I wanted to go meet some friends in a cafe, I took her along.
Every ten minutes, Farheena kept asking me, “Are we there yet?”, trying out her first trigger. I answered her calmly, “Not yet,” whenever she asked her question. Finally, I got to say yes. She chose a corner to sit in as we walked in and leaned away from me.
I asked her if she would like to eat something or drink juice or tea, “No” was the expected answer. I bought a pizza and chocolate Mousse and placed them before her to aim at temptation. No response.
I had a good conversation with my friends and enjoyed our time together. There were so many things we discussed, and we had interesting stories to share. We could go on forever, but then time was running out for all of us.
Farheena had all this time not said “Hi” or “Bye” or eaten anything, but sat grumpily, leaning away from me.
I finished chatting with my friends, ate the food, and enjoyed the get-together without being affected by my grumpy daughter.
As we sat in the cab on our way home, Farheena said, “I am sorry next time, I will eat something and talk.”
I was thrilled by this change and wanted to yell out something, but I remained calm and said, “OK.”
That day, I felt very successful as a mom by allowing my daughter to be grumpy and not be affected by her behaviour. I cannot actually explain it adequately in words, but I feel a sense of pride within me.
We always urge our children to enjoy everything we do: food, clothing, a picnic, or dinner out. When we see they are not enjoying themselves, we get angry and pick up a fight because we feel let down by them or see that they are being ungrateful to us even though we are putting every effort to make them happy.
I could have started down that road, taking me down the path of “Why is Farheena being ungrateful even when I take her everywhere with me? She is so mean, etc., etc.” but I did not. I realized that there are days when she may not want to enjoy no matter what I gave her. I just had to remain calm.
I know some of you may find an urge to judge me on this, but if I am okay with a grumpy daughter, I am sure OK with judgment from anyone.
Meet Upasana Taku, the COO and board chair of MobiKwik, who, along with her husband, founded a business that’s changing the way we pay.
When you think of pioneers in the world of digital payments and FinTech, names like Bill Gates and Elon Musk often come to mind. However, there’s one remarkable woman who is making waves in this dynamic industry without the benefit of an Ivy League education.
In a world where success stories frequently begin with Ivy League degrees and silver spoons, Upasana Taku’s journey stands out as a testament to grit, determination, and a commitment to making a difference.
Born in Gandhinagar, Gujarat, to a Kashmiri family, her early life wasn’t marked by privilege or elite education. Instead, it was her unwavering drive for knowledge and an unquenchable thirst for greatness that set her on a unique path.
After completing her schooling in Surat, Upasana Taku pursued a degree in engineering from NIT Jalandhar. It was in 2002 that she took a life-altering flight to the United States, seeking a Master’s in Management Sciences from Stanford University. Stanford, with its rich tradition of entrepreneurship and a focus on the real-world application of knowledge, proved to be the incubator for the seeds of entrepreneurship sown in Upasana’s heart.
However, the journey didn’t stop at graduation. Like many middle-class Indians, she secured a job at HSBC Bank in 2006, a promising start by conventional standards. But Upasana was destined for something more profound, a desire to address fundamental issues at the grassroots level.
Her pivotal moment came in 2008 when she made a life-altering decision. She returned to India, a move that surprised and initially worried her parents, who were working in South Africa at the time. The allure of the “American Dream” and a Green Card was left behind in pursuit of a grand vision to impact lives in India.
In India, Upasana recognized the transformative power of working with non-governmental organizations (NGOs) to address grassroots issues. In November 2008, she joined Drishtee, a small NGO in Delhi that focused on rural Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) and microfinance. It was here that she got a chance to travel to rural areas in the northern states of Uttar Pradesh and Bihar, witnessing both the potential and shortcomings of NGO operations in India.
Her entrepreneurial spirit led her to venture into different sectors. She briefly worked with 2020 Social, a start-up offering social media consultancy services to companies. But Upasana soon realized that her true calling lay in a different direction.
It was in December 2008 that fate smiled on Upasana when she met her future husband, Bipin Preet Singh, through common friends. He was working with a Noida-based chip company, and together, they shared a vision for an e-wallet firm. Their combined determination to turn this vision into reality led them to co-found MobiKwik in August 2009, and five months later, Upasana officially joined the journey.
The path to establishing MobiKwik was anything but smooth. They faced resistance from banks, and convincing their first partners and employees was an uphill battle. Upasana’s unshakeable belief in their vision kept her going, even during moments of self-doubt in the first year. The product was up and running, but user adoption wasn’t as swift as they had hoped. Operating on a bootstrapped budget and with a core team member’s departure, morale hit a low point.
In 2011, Upasana Taku co-founded MobiKwik, a mobile wallet and digital payment platform. She saw a world where people could pay with ease and security, and she was determined to make it happen. But it wasn’t all smooth sailing.
Yet, their persistence paid off when they secured their first deal, marking a turning point in their journey. From there, MobiKwik experienced four wonderful years of growth, breaking even and expanding without external funding. In 2013, they secured their first round of funding, and MobiKwik began its ascent.
The next two years proved challenging as easy money flooded into the world of e-commerce and mobile wallets. Competitors like Paytm, which started a year later in 2010, spent lavishly on marketing and customer acquisition. Despite the fierce competition and the era of easy money, Upasana remained unfazed. She firmly believed that sustainable success wasn’t about creating a buzz with money; it was about building a solid business foundation.
So, how does one maintain frugality in an industry where competitors are throwing money at marketing and cashbacks? Upasana’s strategy didn’t rely solely on MobiKwik’s growth. She identified a gap in the payment gateways space and founded Zaakpay in 2010, a digital payment gateway for e-commerce firms. Zaakpay became an integral part of MobiKwik’s ecosystem.
In the unpredictable world of entrepreneurship, Upasana values one trait above all: persistence. She knows that highs and lows are part of the journey, and her ability to navigate the challenging phases has been crucial to her success.
She draws inspiration from the past ten months, a tough period for many e-commerce companies, including those with more resources and investor support than MobiKwik. Yet, she and her team kept hustling, never giving in to the difficulties.
While Upasana has found the formula for persistent hustle in the workplace, maintaining a work-life balance with her life partner, who is also her co-founder, presents a unique challenge. Conflicts sometimes spill over from work into their personal lives, a situation that’s familiar to many couples who work together.
Nevertheless, they’ve implemented measures to keep their professional and personal lives separate.
Looking ahead, Upasana Taku and MobiKwik have set ambitious goals. They aim for a Gross Merchandise Value (GMV) of $1 billion by 2017 and are aggressively expanding their offline presence. The ultimate goal is profitability by 2018. As Upasana continues to hustle in pursuit of these objectives, her journey remains an inspiration to all those who dare to dream and work relentlessly to turn those dreams into reality.
The journey was fraught with challenges. Upasana was a woman in a male-dominated tech world. Upasana’s journey wasn’t just about business; it was about empowering people and, especially, women. She saw that women were often left out of the financial equation, and she was determined to change that. MobiKwik became a vehicle for financial inclusion, allowing women to take charge of their money, their way.
Upasana Taku’s impact on the world of digital payments and FinTech is undeniable. Her journey, marked by determination and innovation, has not only transformed the industry but has also empowered countless individuals, particularly women. Reflecting on her accomplishments, we acknowledge that her story is a testament to the potential for change and empowerment, achieved through unwavering commitment and vision.
Upasana Taku’s legacy is one of inspiration and transformation in the world of digital payments, proving that success is not limited to the elite; it’s within reach of those who dare to dream and work tirelessly to make those dreams a reality.
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Image source: CanvaPro
Trigger Warning: This deals with dowry harassment and suicide, and may be triggering for survivors.
In some recent heartbreaking news, a twenty-six-year-old post-graduate student at Trivandrum Medical College, Dr. Shahana, took her life. Her suicide note read: ‘Everyone wants money only.’
While the case is being investigated, relatives claim that this young woman took such a drastic step because her wedding talks were called off. Dr. Shahana was in a relationship with a senior, Dr. E.A. Ruwais, and wanted to get married to him. Dr. Ruwais’s family demanded 150 sovereigns gold, 15 acres of land, and a BMW car as dowry. Dr. Shahana’s father had passed away a few years ago, and her mother planned to sell off some land, but she still could not match the exorbitant demands.
Dr. Ruwais stood by his family, and eventually backed out of the wedding when it was evident that the girl’s side would not be able to arrange for the dowry. He then blocked Dr. Shahana, pushing her into depression.
Dr. Ruwais has now been suspended by the Medical College and the Police have arrested and charged him with abetment to suicide under the Dowry Prohibition Act. The Kerala State Women’s Commission has ordered a probe. The latest update is that the investigation is underway.
It is gutting that someone as accomplished as a medical student studying in a prestigious medical college fell victim to this societal bane called dowry. Couldn’t she have walked away and shown his family the door? Couldn’t he have stood up for her?
Despite the Dowry Prohibition Act of 1961, dowry is very much prevalent in every stratum in direct and indirect forms. While the practice itself may be illegal, the issue lies in the greys, like the gold worn by the bride, the car that is gifted to the groom, or a flat that is a gift to the couple. As long as these are ambiguous areas, there will be expectations and pressure.
Marriages are getting grander, and evolving into avenues that splurge and engage in lavish extremes. What should be a celebration of a union of hearts, a coming together of families, is now an avenue to show off status. The longer the guest list, the grander the venue, the more the family’s prestige. Many a time, it is the girl’s family that bears the onus of the costs while organizing the wedding. When marriage should be an equal partnership, why can’t all things be equal?
I have much respect for the families that opt for simple, intimate, ceremonies like this bride who refused to be gold-plated, or join hands to feed an orphanage or plant trees. To each his own; if you have the means, then go ahead. But vulgar splurges of wealth and moving mountains for extravaganzas are meaningless.
Teach your daughters that self-respect comes first. More than household chores, teach her self-preservation skills. Equip her with courage. A broken relationship isn’t the end of the world. Tell her you will be there for her, no matter what. No problem is too big to be unsolved.
If he can’t realize your worth and see you for who you are, he isn’t worth it. If he doesn’t stand up for you now, how is he going to stand up for you later? Tell her not to be afraid to walk away from toxic relationships.
Teach your son self-respect. Ask him to look for an equal partner. Want a BMW? Earn it yourself, not live off someone else’s life savings. Remind him that someone has entrusted their daughter to you, and you must be a good husband to her. Period.
The National Crime Records Bureau, NCRB, reports that 35,493 brides died because of dowry between 2017 and 2021. Uthara, Vismaya, Shahana…..these aren’t just names. These are women with families; families devastated by the loss of their precious daughters, daughters lovingly raised and educated. We, the mute spectators, will light candles, hold vigils, write articles, and express outrage. And then, life goes on.
Tonight, somewhere, a mother is sobbing that she will never be able to see her daughter again. If that thought doesn’t stir our conscience and spur us to renounce this scourge called dowry, nothing will.
Last evening, I saw info about the song release of a new Telugu movie- \”Hi Nanna\”.
This new song \”Idhe Idhe\” is trending on YouTube for music having already garnered 800K+ views, and counting.
The song video is here-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYyDkpv3TOk
The song has the lead heroine- Mrunal Thakur walking in.
She is definitely a \”Head Turner\”.
Like in fashion shows where we have the \”Show Stopper\”, she walks in and captures everyone\’s instant attention.
Dressed in a black saree and white blouse, she creates magic.
After seeing her, people simply stop and turn their heads and just gape.
She is unmissable.
She is magnetic.
She is amazing.
It is a sweet melodious romantic song beautifully shot by the team.
The camera has faithfully followed all the characters & captured their expressions beautifully.
But, hey!
What is this?
Why the close-up on her features and lingering there for some time?
Had her skin not been shown as above, would the song have lost its essence?
This is the male gaze, isn\’t it?
@masaal_dosa has rightly shared on X, formerly Twitter-
\”A female is presented as an eye candy in cinema, like a visual feast, written by a man, recorded by a man, and enjoyed by a man, that leaves zero space for her agency. She must be disappointed by how far women have come. Now they themselves act as an object for the male gaze\”
\”A female is presented as an eye candy in cinema, like a visual feast, written by a man, recorded by a man, and enjoyed by a man, that leaves zero space for her agency.
She must be disappointed by how far women have come. Now they themselves act as an object for the male gaze\”
— Y🌟 (@masaal_dosa) December 6, 2023
Women have often been treated as \”items/objects/things\” in movies.
Remember the 1990\’s Hindi movie \”Mohra\” song picturised on actors – hero Akshay Kumar and heroine Raveena Tandon in which the hero sings for the heroine-
\”Tu Cheez Badi Hai Mast\”
It means- \”You are an intoxicating object/item/thing.\”
This is the first search result on Google-
Just see the number of views this \”Mast\” song video has garnered!
Like wine, woman too is an item of intoxication?
There are many \”item songs\” in many Indian movies to titillate the audience, especially the front benchers.
Item songs and cheap and vulgar dances act as crowd-pullers and keep the cash registers ringing, correct?
After all, just as Keats had said-
\”A thing of beauty is a joy forever.\”
Does it give great joy to discuss and highlight the item/thing/object and about their items/things/objects e.g. blouse/choli and what lies behind it?
Now, coming back to the sweet melodious romantic Idhe Idhe song.
The camera has captured expressions of the female gaze too.
In fact, the first two characters, who look smitten by the actress, are a cute little girl and a lady.
Next, we have a group of female models too looking at her.
And others – both females and males join too.
Not once, but twice as she seductively sashays along.
That is the female gaze!
In the Idhe Idhe song, as she turned around and glanced at the male behind, I somehow remembered the famous scene from the Hindi movie- \”Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (DDLJ)\”.
As the heroine Simran (Kajol) walks away, the hero Raj (Shahrukh Khan) waits for her to turn around – \”Palat\”.
Raj\’s belief is-
\”If she\’s in love with you, she\’s going to turn around!\”
Just as Paulo Coelho has expressed- Whatever one\’s heart sincerely desires, the Universe conspires!
Simran turns around in DDLJ!
Incidentally, this iconic DDLJ scene has been copied from a Hollywood movie.
Did you know that-
The scene is actually a copy from Clint Eastwood’s Hollywood film ‘In The Line Of Fire’ that released in 1993? DDLJ was released two years later in 1995.
The scene is actually a copy from Clint Eastwood’s Hollywood film ‘In The Line Of Fire’ that released in 1993?
DDLJ was released two years later in 1995.
Eastwood\’s line is –
\”If she looks back, that means she is interested.\”
This IndiaTV news report has extra information about the two scenes.
The Palat scene is quite popular and a similar scene was seen recently in a KDrama too where the hero prays \”Look back, Look back\” and the heroine does!
In all the above references, the actresses are dressed with no show of skin.
The camera focuses on their walking away and then turning around.
And not exhibiting the actress\’s blouse, or show of skin- bare waist, hips, back etc.
The Idhe Idhe song stands out in contrast.
The hero is not praying for her to turn around as the song is playing in the background.
He is simply staring focusing on her vital stats and checking out her curves and is caught in the act – not once but twice by the \”objection of his affection\”.
If the woman was the one hoping for the man to turn around, would the camera have shown the man\’s waist or biceps or other parts of the male anatomy?
Incidentally, the Palat scene was referred to in the Hindi movie- \”Befikre\” with actress Vani Kapoor watching another man. The character played by actor Ranveer Singh tells her – that man would not turn around.
Without taking her eyes off that man and the \”object of her attention\”, she matter-of-factly answers that \”Wishing for turning around was in the 90s. I was just checking his ass!\”
The above is a screen grab from the same scene that can be seen here.
It may be noted that during this scene, the camera is full-time focused on the actress and actor (as above) and not on that other man or his ass.
Recently, the Hindi movie \”Animal\” has reference to the heroine\’s anatomy-
\”You have a big pelvis, you can produce healthy babies.”
It is alarming to note that such scenes and misogynistic dialogues get huge applause and whistles in movie theatres.
I feel such references and crass usage are a huge disrespect to the females.
In a way, we are teaching the public how to behave with women. And that all such is perfectly normal and acceptable.
Movies and media have the power to reach and touch innumerable lives, and to impact society.
Using the words from the Hollywood movie \”Spiderman\”-
\”With great power comes great responsibility\”
Using the words of the above-mentioned \”Animal\” movie dialogue-
\”Movies have a big influence, they must produce healthy after-effects.\”
Movie stars have many fans and followers and great media presence.
If all choose to accept and support irresponsible and objectifying lines and scenes and objectionable gestures, what sort of an influence will they have on society?
Should there be such a focus on female anatomy in the media?
Shouldn\’t all such close-ups of female physical/body assets be stopped?
What do you feel? Please share in the comments below.
ātsyāyana the writer of the fabulously fabled book Kama Sutra would have never liked it.
Never liked it? What?
Mira Nair the Indian American based in New York City under her banner Mira Bai films directed an erotica Kama Sutra in the year 1996. I hail from a small town Agartala where the mentality of the men were very degrading and mediocre and females were treated as object of pleasure. A female myself I was twenty and I dared to watch the movie while I was residing in that city. But I hear Agartala is no more the same what it used to be.
The crowd is much progressive and the youth have scattered all over the world now to follow their passion, mission, education, matrimonial alliances and everything in between. The name of the movie intrigued me and I thought I can watch the movie with my family members. I was wrong. The film had nothing to do with the Holy book but was a perverted version of an equally perverted story.
Tara and Maya, princess and servant are childhood friends though both harbor jealousy and resentment for each other. The fact that Maya was beautiful and a better classical dancer with moves of erotica didn’t go down well with Tara. Maya the servant always wore Tara’s discarded clothes and wished she became a princess one day, just like Tara. Those days the princesses were taught the Kama Sutra lessons by an old concubine Rasa Devi and Tara who was under her training couldn’t master the art at all.
Maya on the other hand had in her the innate quality of seduction. Tara’s hunchback brother harbors feeling for Maya but is turned down by her. Tara who is prepared to marry prince Raj Singh witnesses that the king is attracted towards Maya and not her. She spits on Maya and Maya leaves that place with tears streaming down her face. A revengeful Maya consummates with the prince just before the day of wedding which is witnessed by Biki.
While Tara leaves for her husband’s kingdom Maya is labelled a whore by Biki (who wanted to marry Maya) and is thrown out of the city. A wandering Maya encounters the sculptor Jay Singh who is a sculptor and worked for the king Raj. Jay famous for making erotic statues confesses that it is Maya who he had seen many times in his dreams and is the inspiration behind his statues. Maya and Jay enters into a relationship but it is short lived as Jay felt his concentration wavering due to the seductress and gorgeous Maya.
A disowned Maya starts living with Rasa Devi and learns the art of courtesans. King Raj recognizes Maya from one of Jay’s statues and fetches Maya from Rasa Devi to be his main concubine. Jay realizing his mistake meets Maya in the palace where they exchange secret wedding vows, gets a death sentence, dies a horrific death by an elephant. In the meantime Raj’s kingdom is attacked by some ruler Shah accompanied by Biki’s soldiers and Maya chops off her lustrous hair like a widow and leaves the kingdom.
The storyline is mediocre and also the fact it promoted patriarchy. Women were placed in roles of servants and concubines, Tara the queen gets raped by the king Raj, and women are featured nude in the movie giving a shallow feeling which I found difficult to swallow. Indira Verma who played the role of the servant Maya confessed that she never thought the movie would be so sexually explicit. There was no need to flash detailed lovemaking scenes time and again. The movie was rated “A” and every adult knows what lovemaking is.
The portrayal of the wedding night was disgusting. Every intricate detail was revealed and I am sure viewers found it uncomfortable to watch a husband raping the wife. Trust me there was no need for graphic details but I guess Nair did it to make her film a big hit, but she was highly mistaken. The masses did not support her. Depiction of violence was appalling. Killing of Jay was the most grisly and I bet no one would like to watch such a painful death no matter what the sin is. The constant consumption of opium by the king, his addiction to women et al were shown in the filthiest way.
Was the film made to promote patriarchy and sexual debauchery? Rekha who acted as Rasa Devi was allowed to keep her dignity intact but honestly speaking she shouldn’t have accepted the role of a concubine teacher who was once a concubine herself and narrates her story of her several liaisons with the kings in her youth. Classical dance is religious and based on Vedic culture and we dancers pray before we hit the dance floor.
But the film depicted classical dance as an art of seduction for men. It is said that A.R. Rahman turned down the offer to compose the sound track of the movie just by the namesake. And he hasn’t regretted. It’s mentioned in Wikipedia that Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times gave it 2 out of 4 and wrote that the film is lush and voluptuous to regard, but he expected more from Mira Nair, and he was disappointed. She is better than this work.
The movie is cheap and is a thriller for men who enjoys dirty sex. Few years earlier it was still streaming in You Tube but now its traces has been removed except for Wikipedia. The OTT platforms aren’t interested either and I am happy for it. Watching porn or soft pornography is evil, no matter how big and classy the film director may be.
Mira Nair lets us down with this shoddy portrayal of women and the furious promotion of a patriarchal culture. Madam you could have done better. You are the same woman who had directed masterpieces like Salaam Bombay, The Reluctant Fundamentalist and the list is endless.
Do me a favor please. Do not watch this movie even though it is under Mira Bai banner. What is wrong is wrong.
Based on the real-life journey of the transgender-activist ShreeGauri Sawant, the web biopic Taali Season 1 is a likeable drama, anchored by the tenderly aching, lovely, unaffected warm friendship of transwomen, Gauri (Sushmita Sen) and Nargis (Sheetal Kale). Their bonding lends emotional punch to Taali which poignantly portrays the struggles of a transwoman to build a gender-inclusive society.
*Spoilers Alert*
Ganesh (Sushmita Sen) is rejected by his biological father because he refuses to identify with his birth-assigned sex and gender. It is by building and strengthening a fictive kinship with fellow transwomen like Nargis and Munna, Gauri a.k.a. Ganesh copes with the pain caused by her ostracism from her natal family, social persecution and marginalization.
Gauri and Nargis’ initial encounters are not sweet; later they become BFFs, and finally, with Nargis’s untimely death, their friendship ends on a sad note. For the first time, Nargis meets Ganesh before he transitions into Gauri. Ganesh visits Nargis’ brothel to educate the transgender-sex workers about healthy living. Ganesh is smitten by Nargis’ beauty and boldness. Their exchange of flirtatious and passionate looks subtly hints at sexual attraction. However, Taali only highlights their platonic friendship.
Their first meeting suggests the imminence of a close friendship between them. For instance, in the presence of Ganesh whom she hardly knows, Nargis uninhibitedly discusses with her fellow inmates about illegally disposing of the dead body of a customer without informing the police. Though Ganesh expresses his kindred with transwomen, Nargis dismisses him as an impostor who cannot empathise with the transwomen’s pain without himself undergoing castration and therefore he is unfit to advise transwomen on how they should comport themselves to enjoy social acceptance. At Nargis’ behest, Ganesh undergoes the life-threatening sex change operation and transforms himself into the more feminine Gauri. Thus, Nargis is responsible for an important life-altering event in Ganesh’s life (episode 3).
That Nargis who had formerly been a detractor of Ganesh’s ideas about the transgenders’ social uplift, transforms into Gauri’s companion and her “bodyguard” (as Nargis calls herself in episode 5) indicates the full arc of their relationship. When Ganesh a.k.a. Gauri enters the trangenders’ housing locality after undergoing castration and is in severe pain, Nargis gives him a warm embrace and welcome, lends Gauri her shoulder and offers her the balm of human connection.
That Nargis has a heart of gold is indicated when she puts her gold chain around Gauri’s neck as a memorabilia indicating her gratitude towards Gauri, who had rescued Munna from the clutches of a vicious cop, and their everlasting friendship. Though uninvited, Nargis announces that she will move into Gauri’s house. Without a second thought, Gauri shelters Nargis, and Munna, like her family members and tries her best to cater to their needs. In a peremptory fashion, Nargis demands Gauri to buy her a cot and to never let her sleep on the floor. The duo’s camaraderie over paan (betel leaves) adds a sweet depth to their relationship (episode 4).
Nargis celebrates Gauri’s success as a world-renowned activist-educator as her own. Metaphorically, Taali suggests that Nargis is inseparable from Gauri both in life and death. Importantly, when Gauri is recuperating on the hospital bed, a rose in a glass of water on the bedside table is zoomed in by the camera. The rose symbolizes the smell of healing. The rose’s significance in the context of Taali’s narrative is heightened because Nargis shares her name with the flower of love. Nargis is shown throughout Taali adorning her hair with roses. Thus, we are given to understand that like the rose, Nargis will also heal Gauri’s physical and emotional wounds. That Gauri values Nargis’ gold chain more than a death certificate (which she doubts the government will ever issue her because of her transgender status) and promises to cherish it always speaks volumes about their friendship (episode 4).
When Navin (Ankur Bhatia), the social worker, informs Gauri that she has been invited by a US-based institute for honouring her in recognition of her social welfare activities, Nargis cautions her that it must be a hoax mail.
Gauri’s worldwide success earns her the envy of a fellow transgenders’ Guru. Nargis is the soulmate universe has sent to Gauri to protect her from harm. Nargis and Munna’s existence gives Gauri a certainty that there are people around her. (Gauri-Munna’s relationship is that of a mother and child).
Nargis averts Gauri’s death by preventing her from eating a mercury-laced paan offered to her by a rival transgender impersonating as her friend. It is heartening to watch Nargis showing maternal-like concern towards Gauri as she pulls her into her bosom and consoles her distraught friend and advises her to always remain vigilant (episode 5). It is also ironic that while Gauri a.k.a. Ganesh’s father performs her funeral when she is alive because Ganesh had gone against his wishes and underwent medical sex transition (episode 4), Nargis who is not even Gauri’s biological sibling does her best to save her life.
Gauri-Nargis’ vibing—Nargis’s intimate talk with Gauri as she shares her dreams of marrying her boyfriend Muttu and happily living with him — before they drift apart at the sea shore with a setting sun in the background, which in hindsight, is their last one, pulls at your heartstrings. They part from each other without anyone having the intuition about Nargis’ approaching death. Gauri has no inkling that the man from whom she had extracted a promise to take care of her friend who was also like her sister would dump Nargis and ruin her life. When Gauri is celebrating her success, she receives the news of Nargis’ death. Her joy is short-lived as she comes to know that Nargis had committed suicide unable to survive the hardships of an unrelenting life (episode 5).
Even before Gauri can cope with the devastating shock of Nargis’ suicide, she has to confront and contend with the homophobic hospital administration. Gauri takes umbrage at the way the hospital administration has discarded Nargis’ body like the hospital waste. The scenes where Gauri is at loggerheads with the hospital administration reflect on the plight of transgenders butting up against a heteronormative, homophobic society.
Gauri’s love for Nargis transcends even death. A resilient, albeit internally tormented, Gauri vows to seek written apology from the hospital administration for belittling her friend’s dead body. Though scorned by the hospital staff and coaxed by her fellow transgenders, particularly Munna, to accede to the hospital administration’s demand to take away Nargis’ body, Gauri, who has shape shifted into a fierce, feral and possessed transwoman, stands her ground and continues with her open-air sit-in even amidst heavy downpour, ultimately inspiring solidarity from fellow transwomen. She faces down the hospital dean (Ananth Mahadevan) and talks him into issuing apology for disrespecting Nargis and thereby succeeds in giving her friend dignity in death.
When it comes to avenging for the disrespect meted out to her friend, Gauri transforms into a Chandika. Gauri partially disrobes herself and threatens to slap rape charges against the dean if he were to refuse issuing an apology. This instance shows that like a true friend Gauri readily sacrifices her modesty and self-respect for winning justice for her friend. Gauri’s helplessness to resurrect Nargis from her death and her grieving and bawling over Nargis’ dead body that lies on the stretcher breaks your heart. It’s not just her love for her departed friend that motivates Gauri to single-handedly fight the prejudiced, unjust and high-handed medical establishment tooth and nail; she fights against all odds to ensure that no one in the transgender community will be a target of discrimination like Nargis in the future (episode 6).
The duo’s yaari and affinity for each other is endearing. While the heteronormative homophobic society had dealt a raw deal to both Gauri and Nargis, they had fortunately found themselves a trustworthy, reliable friend, who would stick with them through life and death. Thus, the emotional benefits we derive from well-meaning friends cannot be underestimated.
You may watch Taali Season 1 on JioCinema. The title of my article is inspired by Shilpa Phadke and Nithila Kanagasabai authored book titled Yaari: An Anthology on Friendship by Women and Queer Folx. Buy it here.
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