Should you watch Animal or not?

Posted: December 5, 2023

I watched Animal & it’s not for the faint hearted for sure!

The feminist in me cringed throughout the movie, seeing the insignificant role of the women & toxic dialogues of the men. I didn\’t appreciate the private parts related humour. It wasn\’t funny. I didn\’t like the role of women being reduced to mere caregivers or just physical companions!

But the Bollywood fan in me loved the powerful performance by Ranbir Kapoor (RK). Movie is ALL him. Others don’t have any role, not even supporting. Perhaps special apprarances. Be it Anil kapoor or Rashmika or Bobby. RK is the villain of the movie, not a hero. He is an anti hero & that category usually functions without any notice or logic. If you can accept that, you may find the movie tolerable.

I’m not a RK fan. He is a brilliant actor and has proved his mettle yet again, with this strong performance. Some claim this is his best performance till date. Perhaps rightly so. Though personally I still prefer Barfi due to the movie genre.

Sadly the director didn’t do justice to this movie.

A movie can’t do well without a good story, tight plot & it’s been proved yet again. The other movies it’s being compared to (Jawan, Pathan etc) all had stories even if with over the top acting or gravity defying violence. The story of Animal is exactly what they show in the trailer. There’s nothing more to add. Except action scenes & romance.

As in why was RK the way he was, no one knows or cares to explain. I wasn’t expecting a message from this movie but at least wanted a logical story. A back story to show his gradual evolution into this extreme character rather than random scenes put together from flash back.

Finally, Rashmika’s acting & dialogue delivery is beyond pathetic. Not sure if it’s just me, but I didn’t follow her dialogues. Someone please tell her that gritting your teeth doesn’t make you a good actor. Also, let me add that she isn’t allowed to slap a man even if he deserves it. Domestic abuse works both ways & isn’t acceptable.

I really wish some of Rashmika’s dialogues were given to Bobby Deol (not a fan of him but was good to see him on screen after decades).

Violence isn’t for me & I was covering my eyes in the gory scenes. The movie is too long and required some crisp editing.

With end credits I felt there may be a sequel. While others think it was just to pique interest. Industry can’t take another Animal!

Good they made their money on opening weekend because, doubt it will make more.

Finally answering the question, who should watch it versus who shouldn’t.

As many are seeking reviews or guidance on how to decide. I would say…

Skip this movie if you –

Don’t like gore/blood shed

Don’t like Ranbir Kapoor

Look for logic/sense in a movie

But do watch if you can look beyond the unconnected scenes, lack of story & just for the brilliant performance by one of the finest stars of this generation!

Tell me your thoughts.

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Animal: Where Is Our Conscience If We Can Watch Brutal Violence As Entertainment?

Trigger Warning: This has graphic descriptions of violence and may be triggering to survivors and victims of violence.

Do you remember your first exposure to an extremely violent act or the aftermath of a violent act?

I am pretty sure for most of us it would be through cinema. But I remember very vividly my first exposure to aftermath of an unbelievably grotesque violent act in real life. It was as a student at a Dental College and Hospital.

Gut churning violence against a woman

Our Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery unit treated patients with facial injuries through any kind of accidents, trauma or diseases. That day, the entire college was collectively buzzing about a really difficult case in the surgery unit.

We had a female patient, whose husband had attacked her face with a sickle. She had multiple fractures of facial bones, a huge cut running through her entire face and injuries to her nose and eyes. We, as students posted in that unit, witnessed our professors working on her in the minor OT before shifting her to major OT. I remember feeling uneasy, weak-in-knees, as I struggled to process my emotions. It was the first time in my life that I felt inexplicable rage, that too towards a stranger- the man who had attacked her. What kind of sadistic animal behaviour was this? Did he have any regret or remorse? Did he have any conscience at all?

My mind was filled with uncomfortable questions and I just didn’t have any answers. As a naive 20 year old who was exposed to something brutal for the first time, this incident was very distressing.

The picture of this hapless survivor is imprinted in my memory and it is not something that I want to be reminded of because it still makes me feel nauseated; not her condition but the mindless violence. Till date, my stomach turns queasy whenever I am reminded of her injured face.

Reviews of Animal bring back the same feelings

But recently this uneasy feeling returned to me when I learnt of the box office success of Animal, a film that glorifies this kind of grotesque violence. It has done hundreds of crores of business in a few days, cite the news portals and social media.

I don’t have any interest in watching this movie, even out of curiosity. Feeling flabbergasted, I see a few a audience reviews and they really make my stomach churn. Ranbir Kapoor is terrific, says one. Sandeep Reddy Vanga is just brilliant, says the other. The “action” scenes are “mind-blowing”, says the third.

I cannot even read these reviews without feeling nauseated, let alone watch it anymore. My mind is continuously conjuring up images of a certain section of male audience who will feel kicked up watching their favourite star commit heinous acts of crime and violence on screen in seething rage that they identify with. Some of them might go back, get sloshed out of their wits and feel compelled to follow their screen idol in real life, beating up women in their life and feeling heroic about it. After all, isn’t this the language of heroism that they are constantly and subconsciously fed, through media and cinema?

Irresponsible cinema by toxic persons

This is exactly where the “Art imitates life” gang will start defending this kind of cinema. Some will say this is like chicken and egg situation. Which form of violence came first, one never knows, they argue vehemently. I find this analogy startling and illogical. This is more like a raging fire that ought to be doused before it does any further damage. When something is on fire, one rarely ponders about the source (this worry comes much later, in retrospect). All the energies and resources are directed towards dousing that fire, isn’t it?

This kind of cinema, this kind of art, is more like a flame of fire in the minds of impressionable boys who grow up thinking of aggression and anger as ways of expressing power and masculinity. How can one even think of a chicken and egg analogy here? It really doesn’t matter what came first; brutality in cinema and popular media or brutality in real life. Whether one lead to the other, isn’t really a discussion worth engaging in. A more relevant and pressing subject for discussion and debate would be how to douse this fire burning the conscience of so many generations, one after the other?

Some of you might feel that my reaction is extreme, that it is just cinema, meant for “entertainment” and not to be taken seriously. But as a student, an intern and post graduate in Oral Surgery department, over many years, I have been an indirect witness to acts of brutality and violence, that cannot even be described here because it could get too graphic and disturbing. And yes, most victims are women and this is a fact that cannot be denied or ignored. And each time I have ended up asking the same set of questions. What drives people to commit such heinous crimes? Why don’t they feel any shame or fear? How do such cruel people live in our society without being called out or punished for their cruelty?

But unlike the 20 year old me, I do have a vague idea now, about why this is happening. And it is not one single factor but a confluence of many negative factors like patriarchy, toxic masculinity, lack of law enforcement, etc and cinema is definitely one of the major contributing factors in a country like ours, where heroes are literally worshipped. If you are not willing to believe this, please recollect the horrible crimes that India has witnessed just in the last one year. From stabbings, to cold blooded murders to acid attacks to rapes, to college shoot outs, the crimes seem to be getting more mind numbingly violent and grotesque with each passing year. Aren’t we all seeing the same arc of increasing gore on our screens too?

Producer and actor laughing all the way to the bank

Now, let me actually address the main question. How can anyone pass off violence as “entertainment”?!! Who are these people getting entertained by killings, murders, rapes and blood-curdling savagery? If one reflects on this fact, one can easily understand that it is not the entertainment quotient but these films and media are tapping into the animal instincts within people. As I said before, they are setting on fire, within young boys, the instincts of anger, agression and violent behaviour. Without realising that the aftermath of this fire will lead to innumerable victims and many burning homes.

And yet, films like Animal are made and watched by millions. Their problematic heroes and narratives notwithstanding. Who will take responsibility for the havoc they create in impressionable minds?

The star who plays an extremely problematic “hero” to near perfection? He is only bothered about his image and career; after a spate of flops, who cares about morals? Success, money and image matter more.

How about a star who plays the victim? She too needs a successful career and lots of money and opportunities. If it requires not questioning the director or the script, then so be it.

The producer is laughing all the way to the bank.

The director is not bothered about the long term effects of the cinema he is creating. He is too busy proving all the naysayers and critics wrong by simply showing the sheer number of people thronging the theatres and multiplexes to watch his film. “If people don’t connect with it, why do they see my film?” is his defence. His ego, is really the ego he glorifies on the big screen.

None of these people are thinking about the aftermath of their cinema. They are too busy chasing their own selfish motives; money, fame, success, power and stardom.

The onus is on us. Solely on us. Do we need this kind of cinema? Are we even thinking before purchasing that ticket and entering the dark room collectively, to experience what happens on screen? Are we so swayed by star power, “entertainment” quotient and cinema that satisfies our carnal instincts that we choose to ignore our own subconscious mind which always knows what is right and what is wrong?

As individuals, as society, as nation, as simply human beings, where is our conscience? Are we even listening to its voice?

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Rediscovering My Self-Confidence: My Experience with Cerynë’s Intimate Care Cream

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Menopause is a transformative experience and comes with its own challenges like Vaginal Dryness that causes erosion of confidence. Is there an effective solution?

I have considered myself a fitness freak since I was young, which makes it absolutely essential for me to do some kind of physical activity every day at any cost. And for a person who has recently bid adieu to their midlife, maintaining your physical health remains not just a ‘hobby’ but a necessary requirement.

However, like any other person who crossed their mid-50s, my body too was going through certain critical changes that were extremely difficult to adapt to. One of the changes is Menopause. However, I soon realized that Menopause is not only about what the ‘bookish’ definitions taught us in schools; it isn’t just about the cessation of menstruation. But it also projects a heavy impact on the person’s emotional and mental well-being.

Vaginal Dryness is considered a taboo topic

I couldn’t ignore it, however

When I first started experiencing the onset of menopause, among the myriad of changes that accompany menopause, I found myself facing the uncomfortable issue of vaginal dryness. It’s a topic most of us tend to avoid, isn’t it?! However, for me, it was impossible to ignore this critical change as the dryness led to discomfort and a loss of confidence that I hadn’t anticipated.

Engaging in some physical activity in the mornings used to be the most therapeutic part of my day. This one hour of ‘me time’ filled me with a sense of vitality, energy, confidence, and joy. However, due to the problem of vaginal dryness, I began to experience discomfort during this cherished and most comforting activity of my life.

From being another phase of my life, it became the most uncomfortable period of my life

I was unable to continue my routine and this further fueled my emotional frustration and led to the downfall of my self-esteem, ultimately having a negative impact on my overall well-being which, in turn, became the reason for my constant source of irritability.

I experienced itching, burning, and a persistent feeling of dryness, all of which were unpleasant physical sensations that often led to a sense of unease and frustration. Who likes a constant burning sensation in their vagina when they are trying to read a book or performing any other activity? The constant urge to itch even when you are in public or professional spaces? No one!

Due to the ongoing discomfort caused by vaginal dryness, I found it challenging to feel at ease or truly comfortable in my own body. One of the worst feelings that a person can experience is not being happy and comfortable within their own body. Upon introspecting, I also realized that the issue was also becoming my constant source of irritability and no one likes to be around a person who is frowning and shouting at all times, especially when they are clueless about the origins of my ‘crankiness’!

I could see the impact of all this on my confidence. It made me self-conscious, eroded my self-esteem, and created a sense of insecurity. It’s a reminder that your body is going through changes, and it can be difficult to embrace these changes with confidence. And I was tired of pretending that the issue would be resolved ‘automatically’ or without any effort. It was clear and high time that I needed a more effective solution.

Addressing my own doubts and misconceptions

Cerynë's Intimate Care Cream

When I first heard about Cerynë’s vaginal dryness cream, I was naturally skeptical. I had tried various women’s wellness products, including ones that promised relief from vaginal dryness, like many of us, but none had delivered the results I sought.

I was mostly wary about the ingredients and the possibility of side effects, especially since formulating feminine care products like estrogen cream for vaginal dryness is extremely difficult to do. My recent experiments with different menopause dryness creams have proved this. However, my growing discomfort pushed me to give Cerynë intimate moisturizer a chance, and I must admit, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

To my pleasant surprise, this vaginal dryness cream worked wonders for me! It provided the moisture and comfort I desperately needed, making my day-to-day life so much more enjoyable. I was finally able to do the things I love! No more uncomfortable moments or nagging discomfort – it was a true game-changer for me as well as the people around me who saw me back to being my old self.

Rediscovering my confidence

With the return of comfort, my confidence also saw a significant boost. I started feeling more like my old self, and this transformation wasn’t just physical; it was emotional as well. Although I was still irritable, the reason now was not my physical discomfort. I was glad that this was also a no-mess product. It helped me get back my self-assurance, and I couldn’t be happier!

The relief from long physical discomfort was liberating and one of the best feelings I have ever experienced in a long time. The constant distraction of discomfort was gone, allowing me to redirect my mental energy towards more positive thoughts and feelings. One of the most significant aspects of regaining self-assurance was the feeling of returning to my old self.  As a result, it helped me to feel like the confident, vibrant person I used to be.

No side effects

I know that many women share my initial skepticism when it comes to intimate creams as there are misconceptions and safety concerns that often surround such products. Some of these may even be valid and could stem from our previous experiences or the ‘gone wrong’ incidents of trying intimate creams that we have heard from other women make us fear that the creams will have certain side effects like allergic reactions or burning which deter many of us to try them.

However, I can confidently say that Cerynë’s Intimate Care is safe and carefully formulated – their patented formulation having been developed in the USA, uses ultrapure ingredients and is designed to address the specific needs of women experiencing vaginal dryness, making it a reliable choice.

Physical health impacts emotional wellness

Our bodies and minds are intricately connected. When we experience physical discomfort or pain, it inevitably affects our emotional well-being as well. Conversely, when our bodies feel good and healthy, our self-esteem and confidence naturally soar.

Cerynë’s moisturizer for intimate areas, by addressing the physical discomfort caused by menopause, played a crucial role in enhancing my emotional well-being. It was, in fact, the first step toward improving my emotional well-being. When I no longer had to worry about dryness or discomfort, my overall mood and emotions improved, too. It addressed the itching, burning, and discomfort that had become a constant companion, and this relief was immeasurable. No longer did I have to endure these discomforts throughout the day, which lifted a heavy burden from my shoulders.

I was back to doing what I loved—my morning routine

And, most importantly, I was able to restore my morning routine of exercise! No one could have been happier than me when I was able to perform physical tasks without any discomfort once again. I was more relaxed and at peace with myself.

This experience made me realize how important it is to be happy and comfortable in your body because when you take charge of your body, you take charge of your comfort, confidence, and emotions.


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Embracing All Seasons #A career after marriage.

Posted: December 4, 2023

At the tender age of eleven, I experienced my first seizure. My life took a dramatic turn. The onset was abrupt and shrouded in mystery. I awoke feeling drained, my head pounding with pain. My usual zest for play, and the outdoors evaporated. Even school, a place I once approached with eagerness, now felt like a distant world. Thankfully, within a few days, my spirit and energy returned.

The subsequent attention from my family was comforting, yet the restrictions imposed were stifling.  This newfound concern was comforting, yet I couldn\’t help but feel suffocated by the overprotectiveness. The freedom to roam outside, engage in carefree playdates, was stripped away.  I was forbidden from the rooftop or visiting relatives without parental supervision.

The seizures, once a singular, terrifying incident, became an unwelcome, recurring guest in my life. Each episode was a jarring reminder of how much had changed. My aspirations, particularly my dream of becoming a doctor, now seemed like distant fantasies. The words of my beloved Mama Jee, although tinged with humor, echoed the doubts festering in my mind.

\”You can’t be a surgeon, dear,\” he\’d say, half-jokingly. \”Imagine if you had a seizure during an operation? What if you aimed for the stomach and ended u

p at the heart?\”

Mama Jee’s words, meant to lighten the mood, but they only deepened the shadow over my dreams. Laughter would fill the room, but it was laughter I couldn’t share. My father, my pillar of strength, responded with a sternness that was both comforting and empowering.

\”That’s enough,\” he\’d say, his voice firm yet gentle. \”Neha\’s condition doesn’t define her future. Medicine is advancing, and so will her options. She\’ll be free to choose her path, without her illness dictating her limits.\”

My father’s unwavering belief in me was my anchor. At fourteen, these exchanges were more than mere conversations; they were lifelines thrown into the turbulent seas of my doubts and fears. Despite my father’s reassurance, the idea of pursuing medicine, particularly biology, filled me with trepidation. Yet, it was this very fear that steeled my resolve.

Over time, the seizures became less frequent, an evidence to medical advancements and my family’s tireless efforts. My family and I became adept at managing their onset.

As I grew into a young woman, my ambitions only strengthened. My personal journey with illness fueled a desire to pursue a career in medicine, a path that seemed predestined. The shadow of Mama Jee’ long-ago conversation still loomed over me, nudging me away from surgery, but it didn’t deter me from the medical field. Instead, I found my calling in Pediatric Neurology and Epileptology. Specializing in this field felt like a homage to my younger self, a promise to aid children who, like me, faced the uncertainties of seizures.

By my late twenties, I had established myself in my chosen field. My days were filled with research, consultations, and the smiles of little patients whose lives I touched. Yet, as my career flourished, societal expectations began to weigh heavily on me.

My Mami\’s words, sent in a late-night message, were a poignant reminder of the perceived dichotomy between professional success and personal life.

\”Neha, time waits for no one. Don\’t let your profession take away your fertile years,” her words read, echoing a traditional viewpoint that saw education and family life as mutually exclusive for women.

In my modest apartment, surrounded by medical journals and research papers, I pondered her words. Typing a response, I tried to convey my conviction that my profession was an integral part of my life, enriching it in ways that were not immediately apparent. \”Mami, my profession isn’t a thief of time. It’s a giver of purpose and fulfillment,” I wrote back.

Yet, this wasn\’t the first or the last time I would face such questions. My Mami’s concerns were a reflection of a broader societal mindset. I had witnessed many friends succumbing to societal pressures, shelving their aspirations for marriage and children. There was also a faction that voiced opposition to my potential motherhood due to my medical history. Despite reassurances from doctors, some viewed me as a \”disabled\” woman unfit for motherhood.

At work, amidst my dedication to my patients, my thoughts often wandered to my personal sacrifices and lingering health concerns. I knew that my academic and professional pursuits might delay, or even preclude, motherhood. Yet, my passion for my field had been an unwavering driving force in my life. Years of focus on my career meant that I had crossed into my mid-thirties, a time when the reality of my diminishing fertile years became increasingly difficult to ignore. My work was deeply fulfilling, yet it couldn’t completely fill the void of my maternal desires.

It was in my late thirties when Raghav entered my life. A fellow researcher, whose understanding and gentle nature drew me in. Our relationship, nurtured by shared interests and mutual respect, blossomed into love. As we embarked on the journey of marriage, I shared with him my innermost dreams and fears, including my past desire for motherhood and the challenges posed by my seizures.

Raghav, with his innate empathy, listened intently, his support unwavering.

Married life brought new perspectives and challenges. Post-marriage, an encounter with Raghav\’s relative Meera Tai, who expressed concern over our potential for parenthood was hurtful. Her words pierced the air, “Oh, Raghav, I heard about Neha\’s epilepsy. How will you have children? And at her age, isn’t there a risk of genetic disorders?” Her concern, though perhaps well-intentioned, felt like a sharp reminder of the judgments I had faced all my life.

Raghav’s response, however, was an attestation to the strength of our bond. Holding my hand firmly, he addressed her with calm certainty, “Meera Tai, there are many ways to build a family. Neha and I are exploring our options, and whatever path we choose, it will be right for us.” His words, spoken with such conviction, were a soothing balm to my anxious heart.

Despite our best efforts, conceiving a child remained elusive. As I journeyed into my early forties, the longing for motherhood persisted.

One evening, as I sat in our living room lost in thought, Raghav came in with a gentle knock and a warm smile. In his hands, he held an envelope, the contents of which were unknown to me.

“What’s this?” I asked, my curiosity piqued.

“Open it,” Raghav encouraged, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of hope and excitement.

Inside the envelope lay information about a local fostering program. The documents detailed the process, the children in need, and the profound impact fostering could have. As I read through, a flood of emotions washed over me. Here was an opportunity to embrace motherhood in a way I had never considered.

Raghav, sensing my hesitation, spoke softly, “Neha, I know you\’ve always wanted to be a mother. Fostering could be our way of fulfilling that dream, in our own unique way, while you continue with your incredible work.”

The idea resonated with me deeply. For so long, I had believed that my academic pursuits  and my health condition meant sacrificing my personal desires.

We delved into the process with open hearts and minds. Attending workshops, meeting with social workers, and preparing our home, we embraced this new chapter. Simultaneously, I continued my medical practice, my days a blend of working with children suffering from seizures and preparing for a child who would soon call our house a home.

This exploration led us to Lata, a bright and curious girl in need of a loving home. The day she entered our lives marked the beginning of an extraordinary chapter. Her laughter and inquisitive nature filled our home with a new kind of joy, a stark contrast to the silent halls of the hospital and wards I was accustomed to.

Juggling my role as a foster mother and a medical professional was challenging, yet it unveiled in me a resilience and adaptability I hadn’t known.

During a lecture on pediatric seizures and their management, I shared my personal story, weaving in my journey towards delayed motherhood and how it led me to Lata.

“Our journeys are often nonlinear,” I reflected. “We make choices, sometimes hard ones, and those choices lead us down paths we never expected.”

After the lecture, a young woman approached me. Her eyes, filled with a mix of hope and uncertainty, spoke volumes. “Your story gives me courage,” she said. “I’ve been worried about balancing a career in science with motherhood. But seeing you do it, in your own way, is inspiring.”

Another lady inquired about any regrets I might have had, “Do you ever regret it, Dr. Neha? Choosing your clinical practice and your research over starting a family?”

I paused, reflecting on my journey, “I have moments of wonder, but no regrets,” I answered. “My research might change the world. And who knows what the future holds? Life has many seasons, and each brings its own joys.”

My mother, once concerned about my choices, now saw me as an inspiration in redefining motherhood. “You’ve taught me that there are many ways to be a mother, Neha,” she said, her eyes shining with tears of joy.

As the day drew to a close, the warm evening sun illuminating the room, I realized that while some opportunities had passed, others had blossomed, leading me to a life rich in love, learning, and the laughter of a child I had come to cherish as my own.

 

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4 Workplace Changes To Empower Persons With Disabilities As Active Contributors, Not Just Beneficiaries

December 3 was the International Day of Persons with Disabilities. A day marked by the United Nations with a message to promote the well-being of all under this umbrella.

Repositioning persons with disabilities as active contributors in society

What also caught my attention was the message by the UN for this day. It was the fact that Persons with Disabilities do not have to be considered beneficiaries alone. They have to be identified as active contributors across social, economic, and political spheres of the society.

Taking a cue from this statement Workplaces must go beyond only creating policies that encourage inclusion and diversity.

My experience certifies that most of the policies end up being focused only on creating hiring strategies that provide a platform for hiring persons with disabilities. It has to go beyond if we as a society want to encourage and include their contributions.

Here are spheres that need some evolved thought and action from the perspective of decision-makers.

Infrastructural advancement

Whether it is workstations, restrooms, or the means of getting around the premises, organizations have to make infrastructural changes.

Let’s not term these as “adjustments” because these are necessities for an inclusive workplace.

For every employee, the workplace becomes a second home as they spend a minimum of 8 hours there every day. The onus is now on the employer if the feeling can be reciprocated, who can integrate supportive ergonomics, software, and emotional intelligence support at the workplace to make it inclusive.

Workplace hygiene becomes the underlying factor in determining if the doors can be welcoming. We lay more emphasis on persons with disabilities in this context here, because their needs are different and more pronounced. An agile workplace not only provides physical comfort but also becomes a major motivational source. The outcome is a sense of belongingness that can translate into a longer association with the organization.

Identifying roles

Job roles define the academic and experience requirements lucidly. There has been an addition post-pandemic wherein the working mode is also defined.

What if the teams can take a step forward and define the physical and mental strain that the role will involve? It is all about the kind of experience an employer wishes to create for the employee. Along with mental and emotional readiness such clarity also presents transparency as a value for the organization.

Building empathy and perspective

A vital element in the process of inclusion is collective empathy which gradually flows into the organization’s ethos and leads to a state of evolved culture.

If we are looking at making inclusion a way of working and operating, it cannot be defined by single, one-time initiatives. The impact has to be widespread. I believe that if this can be achieved then we have played a major part in taking the change forward to society. We are creating empathetic and humane individuals who will carry forth the value to the fabric of their individual lives.

Transparency in the values behind such initiatives is essential to be understood across the organization. Involving employee representatives in building processes and creating readiness has to be an indispensable step. It has to be about embracing the differences and not putting them under a spotlight to create unease.

Initiating the ripple of culture change

The elements of organizational culture in my understanding consist of open Communication. Effective leadership, accessibility, and transparency are all an offshoot of this vital element.

If communication is done right, any form of culture change is possible. As discussed in the previous paragraphs, when all the above elements amalgamate, every change is welcome as it is easily understood and accepted. Only when questions are asked, answers will be found. What begins as an idea multiplies as a future goal both for the individual employees and the organization.

Workplaces are undergoing rapid transformation and adapting to the changed dynamic of the workforce. They are graduating from physically present employees to getting comfortable with virtual and hybrid work modes. Amidst the sea of changes, inclusion leads to the list of factors that demand focus. If organizations can sift through the conundrum of embracing differences and persons with disabilities, they are also moving towards widening the talent pool to take on multiple skill needs of the fast-changing scenario within this great nation as well as across the globe.

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5 Women Characters Who Are My Fashion Muses And Inspire Me!

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Since the time I entered college, I remember having taken an interest in clothes and fabrics, for college is when you have the freedom and the opportunity to show the world who you are, with your personalized style of dressing, having been upgraded with the right to wear colorful clothes from the boring uniforms.

And ever since, there has been no looking back. I’ve constantly been experimenting and improving upon my sense of dressing and personality, taking inspirations from people I work with, my family and friends, and even some on-screen characters. I’ve never believed in skin shows (personal opinion), and it’s refreshing and heartening to see women on-screen master the fashion game naturally without a bit of skin show. Bravo!

Of late, some characters in OTT series and movies have given me some serious fashion goals-there are women who nail fashion with their attire and demeanor. For those interested in looking sharp and who have a flair for clothing and accessories, you might want to check some of these women out. Or if you already have, you might want to have a relook at these women, with an eye for style, for some serious fashion inspirations and goals.

Sobhita Dhulipala’s Tara in Made in Heaven

The first name off the top of my mind when it comes to fashion, is Sobhita Dhulipala (Tara) of Made in Heaven fame. From top to bottom, she never goes wrong with her outfits or her shoes. In fact, one reason why the producer-and-director of Made in Heaven, Zoya Akhtar, decided to cast her as the lead was because according to her she was a “clothes horse”.

For a wedding planner and someone who has to meet and work with high profile clients every other day, she does it with elan. Keeping her fashion basic but elegant, she gives off the vibe that even if not for her profession as an actor in real life, she is intelligent and meticulous. I love her semi formal tops, trousers, and the vogueish blazers she layers her clothes with, making her look effortlessly classy. And her minimalistic makeup and jewellery (for the most part of her show) reinforces the idea that fashion is best when one keeps it minimal. A personal favourite – I love how she matches a blazer suit with a desi choker necklace. And I’ve been wanting to copy this style ever since, just waiting for the right occasion (probably work parties, unofficial meetings, or bespoke events).

Trisha as Jessi in Vinnaithaandi Varuvaya

The second character that comes to my mind as I’m writing this article is Trisha (Jessi) from Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya. I am sure she redefined fashion, at least in south India, with her simple and neatly worn chiffon sarees and her kurti-leggings.

I remember I used to work with Infosys then, have tried to copy her style by ‘mix-and-match’ing my plain kurti, leggings with different printed-stoles and duppattas. And the western winter clothes she wears in the movie made me really want to book my ticket to a cold place just to try on such outfits!

Again, the key here is minimalism. Or perhaps it’s my own selective perception, that I like women who keep it basic, stylish, and comfortable, for their idea of fashion appeals to me. A personal favourite and my takeaway – it was only after the movie that I started wearing chiffon printed sarees from my mom’s wardrobe (thanks to Trisha, I’m confident in how I carry myself in a nylon saree which used to be a messy affair for me).

Kajal Agarwal’s Dr Malarvizhi in Hey Sinamika & Jyothika as Maya in Kaakha Kaakha

For the third, I was contemplating between Jyothika’s Maya (Kaaka Kaaka) or Kajal Agarwal’s Dr. Malarvizhi (Hey Sinamika), but I choose Dr. Malarvizhi over Maya for the reason that Maya is a characterization by Gautam Vasudev Menon, who also created Jessi I just wrote about.

Although the movie ‘Hey Sinamika’ was not as entertaining for me as Made in Heaven or Vinnaithaandi Varuvaya, I have watched some scenes and songs time and again just to observe her fashion! I sometimes pair sarees with my tops (something I picked up from a colleague), and here was Dr. Malarvizhi owning the style and how! Loved the way she pairs her sleeveless crop tops with cotton sarees, and the light and dark hues she chooses for her top and saree, fashion at its best and at its most minimal (realized she doesn’t wear even a piece of jewellery and manages to look like a dream!).

Deepika as Piku

Although there are many other on-screen women I’ve been inspired by, (Deepika Padukone in ‘Piku’, for instance, for her clothes ooze comfort) I also like to mention my mom, who is well known for her choice of sarees and accompanying accessories, as my fashion mentor. Her idea of fashion – simplicity and elegance, is something she has passed on to me.

I also like to thank my friend from college, Vidhya, who taught me an important lesson in fashion, or I would say, a life lesson – good dressing is only when you look flawless and neat from top to bottom – when she made me realize I was dressed fabulously but for my shoes (basically the idea of paying attention to details)! And for the concluding words, I like to mention my friend from work, Preethi Beulah, for her words – “you can wear the stupidest of clothes and can still carry yourself well with the right attitude!”

Images credit the author and YouTube

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Suhana Khan Was Supporting Re-Use Of Bridal & Party Wear, Not Being A ‘Clueless Star Kid’!

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Suhana Khan, in a recent interview, praised Alia Bhatt for wearing her wedding saree when she went to receive the National Awards, and went on to add, “as somebody with a platform, who has an influence, I thought that was incredible and a much-needed message. She took a stand towards sustainability.”

Suhana Khan is being heavily trolled for her statement, with some of the less nasty comments being:

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Many people mentioned that they wear the same pair of jeans for an entire week, or that they are still wearing the kurti they bought while in college. However, what all these people choose to ignore is the fact that Suhana Khan was not talking about everyday wear. She was making a very valid point about the clothes that the bridal party purchases for weddings.

How many times have you worn your wedding saree or lehenga?

My grandmother draped her 9-yards wedding saree to lit the lamps on Kartikai Deepam every year. The women of my mother in law’s family would drape their wedding chunnis over their head while sitting down to perform a havan. The bride reused all the outfits she wore at her wedding- often, they were the only “good” clothes she possessed.

Things, however, are no longer the same now. Today’s brides wear extremely expensive outfits for each of the wedding functions, and few (if any) of them are re-worn. One reason for this is a very practical one- today’s bridal outfits are far more elaborate than the ones worn traditionally which consequentially makes them less versatile than the ones worn by earlier generations. But the other reason, and perhaps more important reason, is that it is considered infra dig to repeat wedding outfits at other events, and people hesitate to do so because they know that they will get caught out because of the digital footprint.

It is against this background that one should look at Suhana Khan’s statement that “if Alia Bhatt can re-wear her wedding saree then we can also repeat an outfit for a party. We don’t need to buy a new outfit.” She was talking specifically about high end outfits, not about the jeans and kurtis which we wear daily. Far from being the “spoilt star kid” which people insinuated she was, Suhana Khan was in fact using her name and privilege to make a very valid point about sustainability.

Suhana Khan batted for the environment

”We don’t realise but making new garments creates waste which impacts our biodiversity and environment” she said.

While the statement may sound a little vague and contrived, Suhana Khan was drawing attention to a very important issue- that while we tend to picture huge smokestacks belching black smoke into the air when we think of polluting industries, the fashion industry is equally environmentally destructive.

Let us examine the environmental footprint of fashion

Fashion production is responsible for 8 to 10% of global emissions which is more than all international flights and maritime shipping combined. The industry consumes over 93 billion cubit meters of water every year, which is enough to meet the needs of 5 million people. More than 20% of industrial water pollution originates from the fashion industry.

The social cost of the fashion industry is equally high. The industry employs women and children in developing countries at lower than minimum wages and forces them to work long hours in appalling conditions. Some of the chemicals used in production also raise health concerns both for producers and consumers.

What makes the environmental and social cost of fashion production worse is the fact that 85% of the textiles produced lands up in landfills every year, thereby creating the problem of waste disposal.

The only way to counter this is to embrace sustainable fashion

Today, one in six social media influencers proudly proclaim they never wear the same outfit again. This puts tremendous pressure on regular people to buy more clothes than they need. Each tee shirt, for instance requires 2,700 litres of water for production, which is roughly equivalent to amount of water 3 people would drink in an entire year. While the people who trolled Suhana Khan might wear the same pair of jeans for 5 years, I wonder how many of them think of the environmental cost while mindlessly purchasing yet another tee shirt?

It is essential that we reduce the number of garments we purchase, and that we wear the garments that we already possess as many times as possible. This can be done by buying, wherever possible, good quality and classic outfits that will last for several years. Borrowing and exchanging clothes was extremely common in the past, and enables you to get more wear out of the same number of clothes. Thrifting and hiring are becoming popular in niche circles of people who make the effort to exert sustainable choices.

This needs a mindset change

All of this, however, requires a change in mindset from excessive consumerism to more responsible shopping. When celebrities and influencers are seen and photographed wearing the same outfit more than once, it can lead to a change in mindset. By wearing her wedding saree at an extremely prestigious professional event, Alia Bhatt sent out the message to brides that they could and should look at whether their bridal outfit could be worn even after the wedding.

Instead of calling out Suhana Khan for speaking about Alia Bhatt re-wearing her bridal outfit, we should appreciate her effort to normalise and popularise sustainable fashion.

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Now That I Am A Mother, Why Does Home Feel So Different?

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What is that one image, that crops up when you hear the word ‘home’?

Is it the place you are staying in right now?

Or is it the face of your closest family member? Or is it some distant childhood memory?

Home reminds me of the house I left ten years ago. It is the same house where I spent the best formative years of my life. It reminds me of that brightly lit verandah I could see from a distance as I returned after a tiring day at the office. The soft light, exuding from the verandah would invite me to embrace myself with safety and comfort. As soon I freshened up, Maa would offer the warmest cup of hot brewing coffee. As I sipped on it, I would gradually overcome the fatigue of a long working day.

Home meant peace. Home meant surrendering. Home meant safety.

It has been ten years since I got married and left my home. I have moved to different cities and changed homes. Stayed in fancy societies, made friends, and shifted from one home to the other, but that feeling of ‘home’ remains forever elusive.

Now being a parent and a wife, I am the primary caregiver in the family. I try to create a ‘haven’ for my child, exuding the same comfort and security that I received in my childhood. But when it comes to me, the feeling of ‘home’ still eludes me.

The constant hustle of planning, managing, executing, and catering has taken a toll on me. I realize I have to stand tall and strong, and keep delivering no matter what the situation is. My vulnerabilities affect my child. My tears shake his confidence. So on days, when the night is darkest and days are gloomy – I bring out my brightest smile and strongest spirit and keep going. I know that’s what works for my child. That’s what gives him safety and confidence.

And in doing so I have realized home does not mean any particular house made of bricks and cement. Nor is a plush bungalow or a lavish apartment. Home is the love of your family and the confidence of your parents. It is the simple, comfort food churned out from the kitchen, the occasional confrontations and the hearty peals of laughter. Home is the face of strength amidst vulnerabilities. And in the process of ‘creating’ a ‘home’ for my child, the child in me has lost its home, forever.


Image Source: Canva Pro

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I’m A Middle Aged Woman… My Body’s Aging But My Spirit’s Still Aflame!

In the corridors of time, I tread with care,
A soul aflame with youth, yet limbs declare,
The echoes of a struggle, silent and profound,
As aging whispers softly, a haunting sound.

My mind, a kaleidoscope, vibrant and free,
Unfurling dreams, a symphony within me,
Yet, my body falters, aching and slow,
A dance with time, where shadows grow.

In the realm of thoughts, I soar on high,
Chasing the stars that dot the endless sky,
Ideas bloom like flowers, vivid and bright,
Yet, my body stumbles in the fading light.

Oh, the paradox of youth within my mind,
A fountain of vigour, a flame undefined,
But as the clock ticks, relentless and unkind,
My body weaves tales of the passage of time.

Cancer, disability, obesity have taken their toll,
My body tells stories of battles fought within soul
The spirit yearns for adventures untold,
Yet, the flesh whispers stories of growing old.

I grasp at the memories of agile days,
When every step was a dance, a rhythmic maze,
Now, the whispers of weariness paint the air,
A silent plea for strength, for grace to bear.

The marathon of life, a marathon indeed,
A race between dreams and the body’s need,
In the quiet moments, I find solace to cope,
A harmonious rhythm, a dance of hope.

I’ll embrace the twilight, the dusk of the day,
And let the stars guide me on my way,
For though the body ages, the spirit’s flame,
Shall flicker eternal, undying, untamed!

Image source: YouTube

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My Unconventional TV and Movie Favorites #FridayFuel

In a world of trending content, I danced to my own beat. While classmates jammed to One Direction and Hannah Montana, I was lost in the drama of Kana Kaanum Kaalangal and Office on Vijay TV. Unconventional? Perhaps. But that was my world. I also remember the times I used to religiously watch Mahabharatam, Bharathi Kannamma, and Baakiyalakshmi.

One such current interest is Bigg Boss Tamil Season 7. I can proudly say I don’t watch the show. I catch up with the major happenings on social media. Be it the fact that Pradeep got a red card or Maya and Poornima are part of the “bully” gang, it seems to generate a lot of buzz. I see a lot of hate comments on each personality’s account. Should a reality show be taken so seriously? I don’t understand how a contestant fights so badly with another, and then seems to maintain a coordial relationship out of the house. I jokingly unfriended someone just because they didn’t add me to their ‘close friends’ list in my childhood. Definitely, the shows aim is to create TRP, and they are successful in it. But the viewers getting so flustered to the level that they hurl abuses about contestants is shocking. It is due to this reason that I have stopped watching the show. I remember watching the first season, and after that, things went downhill.

Moreover, I’ve noticed that increasing violent content in Indian shows or movies is frankly disturbing. I recently got access to Amazon Prime and decided to watch as many shows and movies I could. No doubt, I was most interested in exploring Tamil content. I watched good shows like Sweet Karam Coffee and Modern Love: Chennai. But I also watched shows like Vadhandhi and Pizza 3 with content based on violence against women, which is triggering and violative. I watched the trailer of Iraivan and Animal, which had similar content. In all these cases, the victim is humiliated, and the offender delightfully commits the crime. Don’t those exploitative scenes take the audience through this journey of bloodshed? The victim’s humiliation and the offender’s delight of the crime are both highlighted by the camera’s gaze, which does more than just record the act. The voyeuristic images invite the audience to take part in the bloodshed or abuse. Should this content be censored? Or viewers should refrain from watching them if they are bothered by it? What is your opinion?

I’ve broadened my horizons to classic English shows such as Brooklyn 99, Friends, Jane the Virgin, and Good Place. I watched some Hindi series with a good storyline, such as Bepannah and Beyhadh. For a change, I also started watching K dramas after being influenced by a relative. I like the feel-good shows that are free from unnecessary violence. It keeps me going! So far, I’ve watched and recommend A Time Called You, Business Proposal, and Vincenzo. That doesn’t mean I’ll stop watching Tamil shows. It will always be my go-to.

 

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