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Be it the recent trolling of Alia’s make-up tutorial or no make-up look or the telly actresses, it is clear that you cannot put a full stop to it.
Remember that story where a couple was riding a donkey, and they listened to passers-by expressing their dissent, and tried to please them. They could never accomplish what they intended to do?
The downpour of criticisms seems just like that to me. It’s happening within the house where people posing as family members are ceaselessly maligning, judging, hating and bickering over a petty issue. So, the same thing happening with celebrities in the bigger world isn’t something alien. Surprisingly, I have encountered people cussing even while cheering- out of sheer excitement!
Ok, so now I come to the main issue. It’s about telly heroines. Whenever we switch on the TV, we come across ladies in heavy make-up, gorgeous sarees, always tip-top and mouthing juicy and spicy dialogues. Even teenagers are portrayed as married and getting pregnant (and we talk about sex education, liberty of children to tread on their paths, and not forcing marriage!)
Against such a background when these heroines appear in their casual ‘normal’ looks outside the screen, they aren’t welcomed. It’s hard to believe that they can wear bikini and relax by the beachside. Even a sleeveless dress is highly condemnable. They receive torrent of insults, abusive remarks, and the trolling goes out of control.
Fan-following or whatever this cult is, assumes that the women depicted on-screen will continue to remain so after their work is over. They are entertainers and they get paid for it. Whatever they do with their lives before or after work isn’t anybody’s concern. Unless their behaviour harms their job or anybody else, let them be.
It’s undeniable that the gross and regressive depiction of women in everyday TV soaps is detrimental to all minds. Always coaxed to marry and later fall in love with the person they dislike, joint family melodrama- are the nightmarish themes ruling the TRPs. Why do the makers ignore the real women in their everyday lives? The stark imbalance results in such trolling and memes.
Instead of being worried about make-up and no make-up looks, dresses and lives of celebrities, these wise owls can write to or pressurize the makers to showcase authenticity through their storytelling. Pure comedy has disappeared from the screen. In a bid to show empowered women, the writers create a terrible scenario. Why does a woman need to wear saree, be naïve and pure white to be the ideal woman? You can be a strong woman in your PJs, skipping argument, solo travelling, and having a laidback lifestyle. She can do everything beyond the conventional comprehension of masses. What can be worse? Most women portrayed in the daily serials are created by women!
Another pointer is that why don’t such observing people focus on the pressing issues? Dengue has become a severe problem in Bengal. Pollution is common to all the regions. Widespread inequality, violence in every form and everywhere, and so on and so forth… Why don’t the humans make the government work for public good?
Finally, by incessant trolling and curiosity of who does what, what do these people get? Fun, satisfaction of ego, jealousy, or a placebo for their latent desires?
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Art transforms norms, using brothel soil for Goddess Durga idols, sparking dialogue, and symbolizing creativity’s transformative power.
An unusual technique has developed at the centre of artistic traditions, where devotion and creativity coexist, giving the holy art of idol sculpture a distinctive new dimension.
Surprisingly, soil from brothels is being used to create Goddess Durga idols, representing the metamorphosis of impurity into divinity.
The soil is taken from the grounds of brothels, which are frequently seen as social taboos, and was selected for its symbolic meaning. The use of this non-traditional source material was motivated by the conviction that it embodies societal issues and the victory of purity over impurity.
Read more: Who is Your Deity?
This unconventional practice is becoming accepted by skilled artisans, who are usually engaged in the traditional craft of idol-making. They feel they are adding to the story of spiritual cleansing and redemption by using soil from such locations.
The idea is similar to how the goddess Durga appears in Hindu mythology as the heavenly warrior who vanquishes the forces of evil.
Read more: Let Us Reclaim Empowerment With The Navadurga
The purposeful attempt to give the idols a deep meaning is demonstrated by the use of soil from brothels, which goes beyond a simple convenience decision. The procedure represents the notion that purity can arise even from the most improbable and impure sources.
Since redemption and rebirth are major themes in many religious and cultural traditions, this transforming symbolism is in line with their ethos.
The communities engaged have been impacted by this creative strategy. It dispels social stigmas attached to particular occupations and fosters an atmosphere of acceptance and tolerance.
The holy practice of creating idols with soil from brothels promotes togetherness and dismantles any boundaries that may have arisen between various societal groups.
Read more: All You Must Know About Sex Workers Rights In India
Still, there are some who criticize the practice. Many contend that utilizing soil from brothels could unintentionally reinforce the negative connotation attached to those facilities.
Others wonder if it’s appropriate to use content from these locations in religious rituals. It starts a wider discussion about the relationship between tradition, art, and social consciousness.
Read more: Our Laws On Sex Work Must Be Inclusive & Humane; Not Pander To Social Ideas Of ‘Morality’
The use of soil from brothels in crafting Goddess Durga’s idols is a bold and innovative initiative that challenges societal norms, fosters community dialogue, and symbolizes the transformative power of creativity.
This unconventional approach not only breaks stigmas but also emphasizes the potential for positive change and redemption in even the most unexpected places.
As the artistic community continues to push boundaries, this initiative stands as a testament to the profound impact art can have on reshaping perceptions and inspiring societal progress.
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Image source: CanvaPro
\”Shoonya is not nothingness, it is niswabhavta..\”
This line that I heard through my uncomfortable headphones made me immediately stop in my tracks as I was taking my daily walk a few days ago. The man who was saying it was Krishna Nathji, an author and Buddhist scholar. While I usually shrug off many philosophical thoughts as impractical for everyday life, this one just struck a chord.
In simple terms, swabhava is your inherent nature and niswabhavta, according to Krishna Nathji, is the awareness that everything is in relation to something else. He explains that nothing in the world has an inherent nature of its own like how water takes on the colour of the things around it. Our appearances, thoughts, feelings- everything is clouded to an extent, either by genetics or our conditioning. Understanding this is reaching the state of shoonya. I was enamoured by his words and listened till the very end.
During his talk, he also gave an example of how women are put on a pedestal, and expected to be always pious and virtuous. Then, when you see a woman who\’s not this way, it upsets you. In reality, though, there\’s no ONE definition of who or what a woman is. She just is. Isn\’t that a liberating thought? I am sure there are many of us who have tried to mould ourselves, trying to fit into imagined natures, denying ourselves the joy of just being. When we realise that there isn\’t really an ideal, there isn\’t a \’true\’ nature, we can finally reach the freedom of being unencumbered by expectations of any sort.
You can like makeup and physics at the same time. You can be extroverted and still need your weekends under the sheets, watching Netflix. You can have grandchildren but still indulge in silly crushes on the latest film stars! There\’s no one definition of a \’true\’ woman, in fact, there is no definition at all. We are all shaped by our life experiences and our awareness at that point in time. All that we have to do, is just be. As long as you reflect upon the consequences of your actions and their impact on those around you, you can be whoever you want. The possibilities within this awareness are endless and you are free to change your mind at any time!
You can be everything. You can be nothing. You can be anything in between and yet, nature will have a place for you.
Aiming for Shoonya gives you that power.
“We shape clay into a pot, but it’s the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want.”(LAO TZU)
I grew up in India, in the small city of Ranchi. The city was otherwise quiet, but the streets grew bustling when the cacophony of city life melded with the echoes of cricket. Cricket in India was not just a game; it was a religion, a shared dream, an unspoken language that connected millions. And there I was, a girl in a cricket-crazy world, with three brothers who worshiped the sport as if it was their job.
The year was 1983, and the entire country was caught in the feverish grip of excitement as the Indian cricket team made its way to the World Cup final. The whole country was buzzing like a beehive after too much chai-samosa, and even I, a girl who was supposed to be more interested in dolls than wickets, got caught up in the madness.
In the beginning, I started watching cricket not out of love, but because my brother hogged the TV, and let’s face it, watching paint dry was more interesting than the other two channels we had. But something about the World Cup – maybe it was the underdog story, or maybe it was just avoiding household chores – made me a fan.
Among the sea of fans, there I was, a young girl whose interest in cricket was as unexpected as it was profound. Raised in a traditional family where cricket was considered a man’s pursuit, my tryst with the sport began inadvertently. But the 1983 World Cup changed everything. Watching India’s triumph, I felt a surge of patriotism and exhilaration, a feeling that was both new and exhilarating.
My newfound passion, however, was met with skepticism. “Cricket is for boys,” my brother would say dismissively. But I was undeterred. I began following matches religiously, learning the nuances of the game, the players, and their strategies.
Fast forward through a whirlwind of teen drama and the Great Board Exam Scare, cricket took a backseat. Life happened, I got married, settled in my career path, and moved to the USA.
The years between my early fascination with cricket and its unexpected resurgence were filled with life’s myriad distractions. It wasn’t until one lazy Sunday afternoon in the US, as I absentmindedly flipped through channels and stumbled upon a cricket match, that the dormant spark was reignited. The sight of the green field, the rhythmic sound of the ball hitting the bat, all brought back a flood of memories – of sitting with my brothers, of the 1983 World Cup, of the streets of Ranchi. It was like rekindling an old friendship; familiar yet fresh. The game had evolved, and so had I. As I sat there, transfixed, I realized that my love for cricket wasn’t a forgotten chapter of my childhood, but a constant, albeit silent, companion through the years. Internet development was picking up, and every once in a while, my husband and I would sit and watch cricket matches. It used to be fun. My old passion and love for cricket got rekindled.
It was the 2011 World Cup that truly reignited my passion. Watching India lift the cup was like finding an old love letter in a forgotten drawer. Something stirred within me – a desire to be more than just a spectator.
In fact, the real catalyst came while watching the second match in the 2011 World Cup cricket tournament series. This became the most compelling story – a tale of quiet rebellion against the norms of a society that saw cricket as a man’s game.
Every time a match got to the nail-biting part, my husband suddenly developed a craving for snacks.
“Honey, could you get some chips?” he’d ask, right when the bowler was running up. Suspicious timing? Absolutely.
In the beginning, I thought it was just a random demand to make me get up from watching the final hours of the match and provide him with snacks. But then I saw it became a pattern: in every match. I decided to confront my husband’s disingenuous desire to disturb me during the intense hours of a cricket match.
“I don’t like eating when I’m under pressure while watching the final overs,” I politely said to my husband. “I want to be there when the last few balls are delivered. Why don’t you get yourself some snacks?”
He looked as shocked as if I’d suggested he wear pink to a football match. “Are you really into cricket, or are you just here to ogle the dashing players?” he joked.
I think he regretted that the moment it left his mouth. I gave him the kind of look that would’ve made a look that would’ve made a lesser man wilt. But bless him, he was just a product of his all-boys cricket club upbringing.
“What do you mean? Why else would I watch?” I replied. By now, I was seriously put off by his remark.
“Really!” he answered back.
But you know what? That silly comment was my awakening. I realized cricket was more than just a sport to me. It was a rebellion, a statement. It said, “Hey, I’m a girl, and I can yell at the TV over a run-out decision just as loudly as any guy.”
I got frantic, because what my husband concluded was not right. As every match unfolded, I found myself unexpectedly captivated. It wasn’t just the intensity of the game that held my attention, but the collective spirit it evoked. I observed my brothers, neighbors, and the entire nation unite in a singular rhythm of hope and excitement. Cricket, I realized, was more than just a game; it was a narrative of passion, resilience, and unity. Watching India’s triumph in 2011 stirred something deep within me—a yearning to be part of the game I had only observed from the sidelines.
My husband, although supportive, seemed puzzled by my renewed interest in cricket. One evening, as we sat watching a match, I decided to delve deeper into his thoughts.
“Why does my love for cricket surprise you?” I asked.
He paused, reflecting, and then shared his own childhood memories of cricket – a game that was a bonding ritual with his father, an all-male affair. He admitted that he had never considered cricket from a woman’s perspective, having always seen it as a man’s game. This heart-to-heart opened a new chapter in our relationship. We began watching games not just as a pastime but as a shared experience, discussing strategies and celebrating victories, bridging the gap between his ingrained perceptions and my growing enthusiasm.
My world has always been rich with imagination, but it often collided with the stark reality of society that viewed cricket as a man’s domain. The game became my silent rebellion, challenging the unspoken norms that dictated “girls don’t play cricket.”
Solitary pursuit took a turn when I discovered a group of women who love watching/playing cricket. So, I found my tribe – a motley crew of women who loved cricket as much as I did. We started watching games together, turning my living room into our little stadium. There was cheering, there was yelling, and yes, there were snacks – but we got them during the commercials, thank you very much.
Now with the convenience of internet speed and readily available platforms to watch cricket matches live, I rarely miss a game. Not only that, I invite all my lady friends, who are genuinely interested in cricket, to come over to my house and watch the game guilt-free, and most importantly, interruption-free.
And so, amidst the echoes of cricket and the crunching of chips, I found my place. In a world where cricket was a man’s game, we were the women who bowled everyone over.
And let me tell you, we were a hit!
The 72nd Edition of Miss Universe Pageant, held on Nov 18, 2023 at El Salvador, marks an important day in the history of womankind. A date that chronicles our evolution as sensible human beings. The contest this time was the first in many aspects, paving way to an inclusive and emancipated society.
Miss Pakistan bravely represented her country for the first time, regardless of all backlash and threats she received back home.
Miss Nepal, a plus size woman, beamed with confidence as she flaunted her curves on the ramp.
Miss Netherlands and Miss Portugal are transwomen; until this time the trans community hadn’t found representation at any top Women Pageants.
The contestants who represented Columbia and Guatemala are married with children, the organizers changed their rules to accommodate women of all nature.
For me, Miss Universe and Miss World were always about Sushmita Sen and Aishwarya Rai. As a 9th grade student, their victory was like a dream come true. Glamour, fame, tiaras, brands, accolades, the two women encouraged many young girls like me to fantasize about a new avenue for wealth and popularity, to think beyond academics and marriage.
A couple of years down the line and I realized how futile my dreams had been. Well, for starters, I was 7-8 inches too short for the minimum height requirement. And fat as per societal standards. And I knew I wouldn’t grow any taller or thinner.
It all seems funny now when I now recollect my teenage ambitions, but back then, beauty contests had begun to hurt.
Minimum height 5’7″, Vital Stats 36-24-36, Not fat, Not Skinny, Flawless complexion, beautiful smile… all the prescribed “benchmarks for perfection” in women. Post Sushmita and Aishwarya, Miss India contests became all the more significant, as many of our winners won internationally. They would walk the ramp in national costume, swimsuit, evening gown, and the judges would award them marks out of 10 for their height, cat walk, figure, body measurements and the answers to certain questions.
Soon leading ladies in cinema and on TV were competing to look slimmer and physically attractive. Let’s face it, most of the beauty queens would join the Bollywood bandwagon and I would point out here, that for women in particular, the emphasis on acting skills began dwindling. Fashion and figure guaranteed fame in Hindi cinema.
So would I be wrong in saying that Beauty Pageants have forever set unhealthy and unrealistic standards for beauty? Some might say mine is a classic case of sour grapes, being short and stout since ages, I have been far below the conventional beauty criteria. But even for those who matched these, how many made it to the top? I guess the number would be a lot lesser than those who faced rejection and depression.
Beauty contests have always emphasized on the importance of perfect physical appearance, period. Endorsements for skin lighting creams, weight loss tablets, hair growing oils, youthful skin serums and teeth whitening toothpastes, were on the rise. These competitions successfully carved a niche for expensive brands in the market, it was like a race to LOOK young and beautiful.
So what does that make of me and millions of other women, who are perhaps short, curvy, can’t starve and can’t afford these products? Of course, with age, we mature and come to terms with the fact that we have a lot more to accomplish than to comply with certain beauty standards. And yes, thankfully, times are changing, and women of all age and sizes are finding comfort in their own skin.
But the beauty pageants are very much a part of our lives, and they still hold on to the same format. So, aren’t they actually celebrating certain women and demeaning everyone else?
That’s when this year’s edition of Miss Universe contest has come in like a breath of fresh air. 6 participants created history on ramp and inspite of a lot of opposition from a bunch of haters, they walked with pride, some making it to the Top 20.
None of the six won the crown, but the fact that the organizers bent the rules to embrace naturality is an accomplishment in itself, one step towards inclusion.
Let’s hope more women break the shackles of unrealistic beauty yardsticks, more women find a platform to showcase their true self, and make the world a peaceful place to live in.
As our lives are getting increasingly digitalized in all aspects, social mеdia has bеcomе an indispеnsablе tool for promoting businеssеs and connеcting with customеrs. One of the things that most small-scale women entrepreneurs ask me about during my workshops on social media is ideas for social media posts to schedule and devise their digital marketing strategies.
For any small business owner, it’s crucial to lеvеragе thе powеr of social mеdia platforms to showcasе the brand, attract potеntial customеrs, and build a loyal community. If you are an entrepreneur trying to find your social media footing, below is a compilation of 10 еngaging social mеdia post idеas that will rеsonatе with your targеt audiеncе and help boost your onlinе prеsеncе.
Lеt your followеrs in on your еntrеprеnеurial journеy. Sharе storiеs, milеstonеs, and bеhind-thе-scеnеs glimpsеs of your businеss. By bеing authеntic and pеrsonal, you crеatе a strongеr bond with your audiеncе and inspirе thеm to support your vеnturе.
Highlight thе uniquе fеaturеs and bеnеfits of your products or sеrvicеs through compеlling visuals, vidеos, or infographics. Explain how your offеrings solvе problеms or еnhancе thе livеs of your customеrs. Focus on thе valuе thеy can еxpеct from choosing your brand. Do not just simply share what is available but instead, make the post meaningful for your audience.
Showcasе positivе fееdback and tеstimonials from satisfiеd customеrs. Encouragе your cliеnts to sharе thеir еxpеriеncеs and rеviеws. Usеr-gеnеratеd contеnt can hеlp build trust and crеdibility for your brand and attract nеw customеrs.
Crеatе еxclusivе promotions, discounts, or limitеd-timе offеrs spеcifically for your social mеdia followеrs. This stratеgy not only rеwards your еxisting customеrs but also helps to pull in nеw onеs to еngagе with your brand and makе a purchasе.
Position yoursеlf as an еxpеrt in your nichе by sharing informativе and еducational contеnt. Crеatе posts, vidеos, or blog articlеs that offеr tips, advicе, or tutorials rеlatеd to your industry. This еstablishеs your crеdibility and еncouragеs your followеrs to viеw you as a trustеd rеsourcе.
Givе your audiеncе a glimpsе into your workspacе, crеativе procеss, or production tеchniquеs. Showcasing thе bеhind-thе-scеnеs aspеcts of your businеss humanizеs your brand and fostеrs a sеnsе of connеction with your followеrs. You could even post fun bloopers or light banter videos too from time to time.
If there is a current topic related to your line of work or your business ethos, take a stand and share your thoughts. This is important to show you are truly passionate about and care for what you do. You could also, at times, post motivational quotеs that rеsonatе with your targеt audiеncе. Quotеs can inspirе, uplift, and еmpowеr your followеrs, whilе also rеinforcing your brand’s valuеs and positioning. These could also trigger some important debates and useful conversations about matters that matter.
Collaboratе with othеr small-scalе womеn еntrеprеnеurs or complеmеntary businеssеs in your industry. Sharе posts about joint projеcts, partnеrships, or еvеnts. By lеvеraging еach othеr’s nеtworks, you can еxpand your rеach and tap into nеw customеr basеs.
Engagе your audiеncе by running polls or survеys to gathеr fееdback or opinions. This not only еncouragеs intеraction but also providеs valuablе insights into your customеrs’ prеfеrеncеs, hеlping you tailor your offеrings to thеir nееds.
Sharе pеrsonal storiеs or milеstonеs that arе rеlеvant to your еntrеprеnеurial journеy. Cеlеbratе achiеvеmеnts, both big and small, and thank your followеrs for thеir support. This adds a human touch to your brand and strеngthеns thе еmotional connеction with your audiеncе.
Social mеdia platforms offеr еndlеss opportunitiеs for small-scalе womеn еntrеprеnеurs to grow thеir businеssеs and connеct with thеir targеt audiеncе. By implеmеnting thе above post idеas, you can build an еngaging onlinе prеsеncе, fostеr mеaningful rеlationships with your followеrs, and ultimatеly drivе businеss growth. Rеmеmbеr to stay consistеnt, bе authеntic, and providе valuе through your contеnt, and you will bе wеll on your way to social mеdia succеss.
The morning newspaper has brought in a colourful flyer for the third consecutive day — the neighbourhood supermarket is offering delightful discounts on just about everything one needs, and more.
The ‘fancy ladies’ shop’ (never could fathom the fanciness of this utterly banal store!) down the road is dressed up in ceremonial finery, with gaudy lanterns. The mobile phone shows endless alerts from various online fashion houses. I check the calendar on the kitchen wall for the umpteenth time. Diwali is almost upon us.
Finally, and irrevocably!
The house is empty.
The menfolk have left for college and work. Sipping on my ginger tea, I casually browse through my gallery of photographs and click open the album preserving the memories of last Diwali. I basically want to check the elaborate rangoli I had made back then, so I can select a new design this time.
Still, remember how time-consuming it turned out – disassembling the petals, segregating and grouping them as per colour, painting a bit, filling in with flower petals, selecting bright green symmetrical mango leaves, placing diyas …phew! And by the time I rose from the floor, my back was so arched, I resembled Nadia Comaneci about to turn cartwheels!
The vibrant colours of the rangoli beckon me from the phone screen. But simultaneously, a robust voice keeps buzzing in my head, asking me to scrap the whole darn idea. To go for one of those bright, multi-hued sticker rangolis that come a dime a dozen. And perhaps, place a few diyas and some shredded rose and marigold petals at vantage points on the ready-to-stick rangoli.
But what about your signature touch, your unique aesthetics — after all, Diwali comes but once a year, my stubborn heart counters, refusing to acquiesce to this preposterous suggestion.
What about them, my saner voice demands. Why would I have reason to break my back before every Diwali when a simple alternative is readily available? And is Diwali the only time when the lady of the house has to put up her aesthetics on display, while family, friends, and guests just stand at a distance and mutter a few words of praise? Or not even that, at times!
My tea is over.
And thankfully, it has activated a few novel ideas and whetted my reasoning faculties. I look all around me – the house looks reasonably clean, thanks to my regular dusting and decluttering sprees.
Why on earth did I earmark tomorrow for a major cleaning bout? I even instructed the maid to turn in late, so I would have the whole house to clean myself. Was it an impulsive act of bravado…or a deep-seated compulsion to toe tradition, irrespective of health and feasibility concerns? Last time, my back and knees hurt so bad, I had to pop in a painkiller!
Painkillers (and antacids to counter them), NSAIDs, antihistamines for the dust allergy — my regular cache of pills every Diwali. My faithful companions—the precursors to the autumnal festival—thanks to the flurry of clean-up activities I indulge in, year after year. I reach out for my well-organized first aid box to check for my stockpile of over-the-counter drugs when the phone dings. It is a routine notification from Turban Company – the hugely popular one-stop destination for all household cleaning.
Devoting an entire morning to spring-cleaning would be equivalent to carrying coals to Newcastle. Not to mention the labour and time wasted. I calmly called for services for a few specific tasks and booked a two-hour slot with them. With the physical burden and mental tedium of preparations gone, my chest already feels lighter.
Time to head to the kitchen for my daily cooking. While seasoning the dal, I make a mental note of all the ingredients I would need to order from the supermarket for the sweets and savouries that are waiting to be prepared. The dal simmers, and so does my temper. I’m reminded of the past couple of years, when most of the delectable goodies I made were left untouched because of the changed eating habits of people.
These are times of mindful eating and no-carbs, low-fat diets. So why waste time, effort and material, just for the sake of glorifying and perpetuating some antiquated customs? Isn’t it much better to outsource quality sweets in limited quantity, and preserve both my energy and sanity for a happier celebration of the festival? As far as my culinary skills are concerned, they are honed and put to use every single day of the year. Letting them rest and recoup for a day or two – is it too much to ask for?
I switch off the gas and sit with my phone. The search engine offers me several premium choices for mithai and namkeen and promises to home deliver them within a day. And what’s more, they offer a decent discount on sizeable orders.
My happiness knows no bounds. I do a quick maths and realize that with all the time and energy saved, I can probably just squeeze in a spa and salon session – after all, Diwali comes just once a year. And like the brick-and-mortar house, I, too, need a spruce up! Grinning and gloating like a Cheshire cat, I book a session to pamper myself – body and soul. To quote a well-known ad, I’m worth it. And it’s time the world acknowledged that, too!
My feline avatar has chosen to overstay—I stretch myself on the couch, suddenly feeling so relieved and smug. The nagging agenda of cooking, cleaning, scrubbing and decorating – the pet peeves of every Diwali – suddenly seem like a thing of the past. Why hadn’t I thought of these common hacks earlier, I wonder? Well, if necessity is the mother of invention, then mental saturation is the godmother of smart alternatives, I grandly declare to no one in particular!
However, as I congratulate myself on pulling down a few invisible cobwebs of Draconian rules and unfair expectations, a little voice tells me there is more to do. I pick up my phone and scroll through my contacts.
A few names appear redundant and antiquated — people I have lost touch with, over time. People who never bother to respond to calls, messages and even birthday, anniversary or New Year wishes. They had probably outgrown my company… I had probably overstayed in their lives. It was time to make a quiet exit, and what better time than Diwali for a quick clean-up?!
Next in line is my list of friends on social media. Now, let me confess right at the onset that my Friends List is quite diminutive, bordering on embarrassing. I have only those people on my list with whom I can engage in some meaningful digital interaction. Many of them are individuals I’ve never met in person but have befriended, thanks to our shared love for reading, writing, and all things literary.
Or probably because we tread common ground with regard to some social issue. And I’ve had some extremely enriching exchanges there. But of late, I’ve realized that the interaction with a few of them has become largely unilateral…one-sided. While I have acknowledged and responded to their posts, purchased and reviewed their books (at times, on request), and lauded their creative endeavours, I find the reciprocation missing.
Of course, I do not have books to boast of – I only post occasional travel stories on my website and a few creative contributions as co-authors in literary journals and anthologies. I assume I do not make the cut and hence, decide to remove myself from their august league. While the rest of the country is busy cleaning and de-cluttering, I, too, partake in the ritual, albeit differently.
I choose to let go of friendships that have gathered dust…to change gear from one-way digital routes…to let go of the ones who are already gone, and instead, nurture the ones that are wholesome. After all, not everything that is started reaches fruition, and that is okay.
Talking of letting go, there is another area that requires decluttering, a re-jig, this year.
Of late, I feel an overwhelming urge to detach myself from people, situations, and interactions that do not add value to my sensibilities. There are heated digital debates and discussions on pretty much everything these days, thanks to the free-for-all social media platforms we have. And, often, the anonymity they offer.
Movies, books, celebrities, their personal lives, individual comments taken out of context, physical appearances, fashion, sexual preferences — you name it, the e-world whips it up for you! And everyone seems to jump on the opinion bandwagon, lest one suffers from FOMO. And at times, the comments can turn quite disconcerting and undignified, tending to irk one for a while.
Call it wisdom or an epiphany, I’ve come to realize that not every virtual action or discussion warrants a reaction. Or even a read. If it costs me my peace of mind, then it’s better to give it a pass. Armed with my new-found maturity, I navigate the labyrinths of social media with a spring in my step.
I check the time. My cleaning professionals are about to arrive. I put the milk to boil and soaked some rice. A foolproof, quick-fix kheer with dollops of condensed milk and dry fruits would be my way of honouring the Diwali legacy without actually sweating it out in the kitchen.
My heart feels unburdened. My lungs are breathing easily. I experience a strange Zen. Walking upright with renewed vigour and confidence, I put together an interesting ensemble that is bound to grab eyeballs on Diwali evening. Who knew this festive decluttering was not about losing things? On the contrary, it allowed me to reclaim good health, energy, peace, and an inner light – my most precious gifts this Diwali!
Physical and Feminine Hygiene !! Ssshhhh !!
Why do men and women hesitate to talk about this topic? Be it with each other or with your partner.
Friends or parents discuss all sort of things but never teach us about “Feminine Hygiene or Male Intimate care, vaginal issues, importance of waxing, oral health, breast cleaning during feed and basic stuff like this.
Thanks to the internet for the knowledge we gained especially 80′ s and 90’s kids who are encouraging positive change towards physical hygiene.
I love looking good, not to impress but to boost my confidence and set some goals to make my kids learn the basic morning routine.
Men dressed in style !! women are totally impressed, but why do women consider, getting dressed should be followed only when they go out and not when they are home.
Doesn’t mean you wear fancy clothes, flaunt in flares also don’t look shabby like the world will end soon.
Decent clothes, skincare routine, eating habits, and hair care can make your everyday look perfect and gives a positive vibe from within.
Consider the fact that women should focus on personal care !!
As men do like women, who Dress up well and maintain personal hygiene. Be it their wife or girlfriend.
Every time I video call my family or friends, it feels strange when they question, if i wear decent clothes, brushed hair and a little lipstick that’s it’ their questions pop up this way:
Are you going out?
Going to a party?
Heading out? Shall i call back?
So it’s a perception that women only get dressed well when they step out of the house or occasionally.
What’s wrong if you carry the same look with trackpants and jumpsuits?
Please Don’t sound like it’s a crime to look good everyday or this doesn’t mean she is beauty obsessed or she has enough time on earth.
I heard such comments too !!
I like to serve my partner hot coffee dressed up well, smelling good, with a smile on my face.
Definitely not with tired looks, crumbled clothes, messy buns, unclean house and stress on my face.
It just ruins their positive start in the morning, putting them in a perception that something is bothering us.
I have my own struggles lined up in the morning but a small change doesn’t ruin my day, in fact it helps me start fresh with less burden.
Personal hygiene is something people are ashamed to talk about? Especially post marriage or post kids.
The care taken during the initial days of marriage suddenly disappears over the period of time.
The way you expect your partner to maintain personal hygiene, at times He or she feels the same.
He might hesitate to express it, with no intentions of hurting you or out of some discomfort to discuss stuff like that. At times women face this too.
Both of them should understand the concept of physical hygiene without giving or asking excuses to each other or themselves.
when men complain about “Feminine Hygiene” (I hope you know the meaning of this word) mostly women have their excuses like Post delivery issues, breastfeeding, tackling new born, regular chores, kids, work and the list goes on.
But why don’t we give it a thought or take his or her opinion in a positive way.
If we put up a concern it means something is bothering us so why do we hesitate to address it positively.
ultimately the concept of physical and feminine hygiene keeps your relationship “Happy and Healthy”
I’ve often seen my partner never compromising on personal hygiene. With the same daily task and hectic schedule, it’s always impressive that he is concerned about the minimal things he uses and wants them in good condition.
Never seen him wearing unwashed or crumbled clothes, he invests in good products be it physical care or intimate hygiene, taking bath pre-post workouts, sexual Hygiene. Minor concerns like changing bedcovers, washed socks, trimming beard, oral care and a tidy room.
At times I felt, He, being a Fauji it’s an inbuilt disciple but that’s not the case it’s his mind which thinks healthy towards hygiene.
This made me realise the importance of healthy living.
Be it Threading or waxing,
Appointment with a dentist or a gynic,
Disposing sanitary pads or intimate cleansing routine, anything and everything you feel good about bringing a change for the sake of your personal health or Marital life, just implement it.
It’s not a taboo to ignore and hesitate speaking to your partner asking what’s bothering him or her about your physical hygiene and personal hygiene.
What changes she or he should adapt?
Consider his or her opinion by listening to each other.
Trust me , this can surely take your relationship to another comfort level.
Just the way you teach your kids about good and bad touch, teach them about good hygiene habits.
Both men and women has a role to play in correcting each other also guide your kids or find a way to teach them in best possible way.
It’s been 8 years since I got verified as a published author on Goodreads and a few months as a notable professional on LinkedIn (I did not pay anything to get the tick—I went through their official procedures, submitted the documents and waited).
I always dreamed of getting that blue tick on X (formerly Twitter), but it never happened. However, I’m not too bothered about it since I haven’t used X in over 5 years.
On Instagram, the blue tick does seem tempting, after all, I have worked hard to be a “known” personality, but is it really worth it to spend a couple of thousands to confirm the authenticity of my account and distinguish it from fake or fan accounts?
The blue tick has become a symbol of prestige and credibility and holds significant weight in the social media realm. Without anything second in my mind, I know it will boost my credibility, making me stand out in a sea of profiles. Verified accounts often gain more visibility, trust, and opportunities, making it an attractive prospect for influencers and brands to collaborate and get a rise in the bar of being famous.
If I embrace the tick beside my name/username it will force me to surrender a certain degree of privacy and striking a balance between visibility and personal boundaries will turn into a matter of serious consideration. I have always said and maintained that my online persona is different from what I am when I log off or disable the data on my phone. The compulsion to project 2 different personalities is just unwanted peer pressure.
The tick definitely will separate the genuine me from impostors. Despite a really strong mental hold of my mind/brain, the comparison to others, the fear of rejection, and the constant scrutiny associated with building an online presence at some point do contribute to stress which I am dead against.
In the past the tick used to mean that you were really somebody, today, it is presumably being pushed and pulled in the drain through monetisation. If I miss paying the said monthly charges, I will lose my legacy blue verification mark like Beyoncé, Ronaldo and many more celebrities faced.
Not just that If I don’t pay the subscription, I will not be allowed to protect my account’s security with two-factor authentication, or run ads. In short, if I don’t renew my blue tick charges month by month, I am not allowed to give them more money through their ad platform.
In the quest for the blue tick, the dilemmas surrounding the verification idea are complex and multifaceted for me. Having a fair balance between authenticity, privacy, and the desire for credibility is a personal journey that requires careful consideration.
The third tick will serve as a tiara for me in the online aristocracy and will not ever make my account go anywhere near to the peasants’ group, as I already belong to the Elite category in the vast kingdom of social media because I have 2 ticks already.
The quest for verification is a tale as old as time – a whimsical journey filled with rejection, uncertainty, and a generous sprinkle of irony. As I traverse the landscape of photos, posts and hashtags, the blue colour is but a fleeting illusion and true greatness lies in the unverified hilarity of my online antics. Now going forth, to all the noble jesters of the internet, and may my posts, stories, and words be forever unburdened by the weight of a tiny, inconspicuous, and utterly expensive blue tick!
If Instagram’s algorithm decides to acknowledge my presence and insists on treating my account as pious, it would land me in a predicament. Just thinking how it would be if Michelangelo had painted the Sistine Chapel with a blue checkmark on God’s finger if he had the chance. Nevertheless, I am prepared to embrace the verification as a birthday gift, free from financial obligations or conditions.
My accomplishments, fame, and contributions to my industry have earned me respect and recognition, and they will continue to do so, whether I have that blue tick beside my name/username.
Busting myths, empowering women: a close look at the workplace reality in 2023, revealing insights and paving the way for equality and progress.
McKinsey & Company and LeanIn.org have come out with their ninth report about Women in the Workplace, 2023. Even though Women are more ambitious than ever, and workplace flexibility is fuelling them, women’s representation is not keeping pace.
For the report, the data is collected from 276 organizations employing more than ten million people. From these organizations, more than 27,000 employees and 270 senior HR leaders were surveyed and shared their insights on policies and practices.
The report focuses on the specific biases and barriers faced by Asian, Black, Latina, and LGBTQIA+ women and women with disabilities, through an intersectional feminist lens.
The research reveals that 2023 marked the highest number of women’s representation ever at the C-suite level, an increase from 17 to 28 percent. However, only slow progress of three and four percent for women at the manager and director levels.
Through this report, it debunks four myths about women’s workplace experiences and career advancement. Let’s deep dive into women’s work experiences in 2023, debunk myths, and work for change for a more equitable and inclusive workplace.
The report highlights young women are more determined than ever before to build a successful career. Nine in ten women under the age of 30 want to be promoted to the next level, and three in four aspire to become senior leaders. It means, 80 percent of women want to be promoted to the next level, compared with 70 percent in 2019.
Moreover, the increase in flexibility with the pandemic did not dampen women’s ambitions, it opened many more opportunities. Flexibility at work, that is the choice of when and where to work, not only broke the traditional work system but also redefined it.
Flexibility allows women to pursue their ambitions: overall, one in five women say flexibility has helped them stay in their jobs or avoid reducing their hours.
Read more: How To Find Flexible Work Opportunities In Sales And Marketing
For the ninth consecutive year, women face their biggest hurdle at the first critical step up to manager. Many studies say that women hit a “glass ceiling” as they advance in the workplace, and the ceiling is the first step obstacle that prevents women from reaching senior leadership positions.
In reality, the biggest obstacle that women face to lose their positions is not the ceiling but the “broken rung”! But, what is a broken rung?
The report describes broken rung as the phenomenon where ‘women in entry-level positions are promoted to managerial positions at much lower rates than men’. As a result, women fall behind and can’t catch up.
When all women lose ground at the first step-up to the manager, the ‘broken rug’ holds back women from marginalized communities the most. The report shows, for every 100 men promoted from entry-level to manager, 87 women were promoted this year, and 73 women of colour were promoted to manager for every 100 men, down from 82 women of colour last year.
Similarly, the broken rung is stunting the career advancement of Indian women, especially to those from marginalized communities due to often encountering obstacles in their hierarchical development, starting from the early stages of their careers.
Read more: Breaking The Glass Ceiling: Women’s Struggles In Corporate Promotions
Discrimination based on one’s gender, religion race, sexuality, caste or any other aspects of identity is an everyday injustice in all social institutions.
Microaggressions in the workplace are a significant issue that affects not only employees’ career growth but also their mental health and all other functions in both personal and professional life.
Years of data show that women experience microaggressions at a significantly higher rate than men, especially women from marginalized communities/identities.
In the Indian context, a Dalit, Muslim, Tribal, or woman from any other minority community and women with a disability, the LGBTQIA+ community face more discrimination from getting hired to feeling inclusive and safe in the workplace.
This research highlights how minoritized groups carry a ‘double discrimination’ burden due to their religion and socio-economic historical class background, especially in cross-cultural workplace settings.
Furthermore, 78 percent of women self-shield at work or adjust the way they look or act in an effort to protect themselves from microaggressions. And, they are three times more likely to think about quitting their jobs and four times more likely to almost always be burned out.
Read more: I’m A Proficient Employee Who Happens To Be A Transwoman, So Why The Discrimination?
Regarding workplace flexibility, both employers and employees have different perceptions. In choosing when and where to work, women employees place significant importance.
Reasons like disproportionate amount of childcare and household responsibilities, and workplace flexibility gave women the opportunity to paid work. The survey found that 38 percent of mothers with young children say they would have had to leave their company or reduce their work hours without workplace flexibility,
Does workplace flexibility only benefit women or mothers? Absolutely No. It is not just women or mothers who benefit from hybrid and remote work, rather most employees do.
A majority of employees, both men and women, highlight workplace flexibility as the primary reason for their work-life balance and better health status.
Research shows that good work–life balance and low burnout are key to organizational success. Moreover, 83 percent of employees cite the ability to work more efficiently and productively as a primary benefit of working remotely.
Read more: Work-Life Balance For Fathers Is Necessary Too, If We Are To Aim For True Equality
Women in the Workplace 2023 not only report their findings but also provides clear solutions that organizations can implement to make meaningful progress toward gender equality.
The report recommends and suggests five core areas for companies to support and advance women at work.
For any successful business initiative, tracking outcomes is critical.
Measure employees’ outcomes and experiences—and use the data to fix trouble spots, take an intersectional approach to outcome tracking, and Share internal goals and metrics with employees are the few points to do.
As companies more deeply invest in the culture of work, managers play an increasingly critical role. However, managers do not always get the direction and support they need to deliver on them.
To get it fixed, clarify managers’ priorities and reward results, Equip managers with the skills they need to be successful, and Make sure managers have the time and support to get it right.
It is important companies take strict measures to tackle microaggressions. The report recommends a few steps to get started like making clear that microaggressions are not acceptable, teaching employees to avoid and challenge microaggressions, and Creating a culture where it’s normal to surface microaggressions.
Flexibility is the new norm at work, and the next step is unlocking its full potential. For that, the report recommends establishing clear expectations and norms around working flexibly, measuring the impact of new initiatives to support flexibility, and putting safeguards in place to ensure a level playing field across work arrangements.
Here are three steps to get started for fixing the broken rung, and there is no excuse for companies failing to take action. Track inputs and outcomes, Work to de-bias performance reviews and promotions, and Invest in career advancement for women from minorities.
The 2023 report brings to light important realities about women’s experience in the workplace today. It debunks the myths that not only hold back women but also deny them equal rights to work and receive what they are eligible for.
Insights from the study can provide a backdrop for senior leaders as they plan for the future of their organizations. Moreover, to the inclusion of women from all identities and provides what they deserve and in building a great workplace.
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