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Vishal Bharadwaj’s straight-to-Netflix ‘Khufiya’ explores a spy universe predominantly ruled by women players and consciously treads away from the glitz and the flamboyance usually associated with this genre. A slow burner, this movie doesn’t have slick and taut operations or morally high-ground officials only. Things are not always organized, there are no superhuman to save the day, and mission go haywire and messes up.
Overall it portrays a more realistic view of human frailty, ennui, and lucky breaks.
Khufiya is set in an interesting premise when some extremist forces in Bangladesh were purportedly falling prey to Pakistan’s ISI’s plans to establish a terror network on India’s eastern border. A team of Indian intelligence agents under the leadership of Krishna Mehra (Tabu) attempt to crack the then-hardline Bangladeshi government with the assistance of a local agent (Bangladeshi actor Azmeri Haque Badhon). The plan is supposedly jeopardized by an Indian intelligence operative named Ravi (Ali Fazal), who is presumably working for the Americans, trying to help Pakistan win the grand game in Afghanistan.
What sets the story apart is the dilemmas shown in the thrillingly potent geopolitical espionage setup involving three or more countries. Unlike the usual good guy-bad guy face-offs here the stakes are more complex – a nuclear deal for the country or the security on the eastern coast. It is this complexity that slows down the pace and makes the scenarios more intense.
But what really drives the movie is the championing of female agency in a multitude of forms, with actors competent to flesh these intriguing characters out. This espionage story is a tale of 3 women above all.
Tabu as KM is poignant and dedicated yet torn between her duties and vulnerability. She loves her son but falters at the expression. Unapologetic about her less than good cooking skills or saree-wearing capability, she knows her worth and uses her job as a vessel of emotional fulfillment. Falling in love and then losing it to fate, her turmoil is one of the centerpieces of the story. Following her character arc I wished this could be a series where we get to explore more about her past, her supportive ex-husband, her motherhood journey, and her failed relationships.
Then there is Badhon as Heena, the Bangladeshi actor, with a mole between her collarbones. As the movie describes her in the opening scene, she is mystical like a sin, and obvious like a sacred deed. Code named Octopus, she would bind you not with her 8 tentacles but her two captivating eyes. A girl who knows how to love fiercely doesn’t shy away from using her oomph to get her way or bet her life to prove her devotion.
Then there is Chaaru, played by Wamiqa Gabbi. A naïve housewife whose pain transforms her and with one revelation she is grown up without being herself. When she dances like no one is watching, free from all the shackles, the screen is alive. All through the movie she lives a dual life. Before the interval, she masks her jovialness with that of a dutiful wife and in the second half, she hides her real motive under the refuge of her wifely duties.
It is the vulnerability, the vengeance, and the duality of life of these three women that drives the narrative. Then there is another woman, Chaaru’s MIL who is equally interesting to watch on screen. I think her character was the most realistic one showing the reality of skewed spirituality trying to veil the ugliness of patriarchy.
However at times, one may feel the writing is so consumed by the female agency that the male characters are reduced to vignettes. It had been a story of women at work with the men sidelined mercilessly. Even great performers like Atul Kulkarni, and Ashish Vidyarthi were not used much.
Overall it has been an interesting watch with soul-driven performances. Watch it for the women in action.
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Set in the heart of Mumbai, A Little Bit of Love by Arva Bhavnagarwala follows Afrah and Sadiq as they navigate the many forms of love which revolve around them while falling for each other. Some of those loves, unfortunately, wear uncanny masks, some are twisted at the centre, and some are cruel in the name of protecting their best interests.
A Little Bit of Love spans over the years 2005-06, opening with the floods which devastated Mumbai for days. Afrah had been on her way back from a job interview when the downpour took a turn for the worse and she had to wade through rising waters from the stranded local train to her home. It was there that she came across Sadiq for the first time, showing him the folly in his decision to wait the flood out in a bus instead of seeking proper shelter. Thus, the wheels of fate began to churn.
Afrah is a strong-willed character, who knows what she wants in life and is determined not to let anyone or anything deter her along the way. She dreams of someday being a teacher; after all, ‘what could be better than doing the job you loved and getting paid for it?’ Her mother, however, has different ideas for her life, which she thinks Afrah should model after her younger sister’s—married and expecting in a year. Afrah’s independent thinking, nurtured by her dear father, is a constant source of friction between the two. Her mother does not understand the need which Afrah puts simply as—‘I wanted some money that I could call my own. Earned money, not what I received as Eidi’. She also cannot comprehend her elder daughter’s insistence on continuing a job even after being married. But all Afrah wants from her mother, and her sister, is a little bit of understanding and respect for her choices.
Sadiq, on the other hand, has loftier ideals, embodied by his life motto—’Aim for the highest and dream your dreams. Then they will, one day, come true’. Being in final year of medicine, he’s close to achieving his lifelong dreams of getting away from the chawl and his narcissistic father, to earn enough to afford an apartment closer to work and bring his mother with him. Assisting him in these dreams are his bade-abba and his own unfaltering determination. But right when he thinks he has it all, things begin to unravel so fast, he struggles to collect the spools of threads strewn about him.
Amidst all this, Afrah and Sadiq meet again, and keep meeting thus, while they await the local train—a quintessential element in the life of Mumbaikars—to travel to their respective workplaces. Their bond grows deeper, rendering them blissfully ignorant of the hurdles which family pressure, unbreakable promises, a chronic medical condition, and life in general could present before them.
The author has peppered the story with a delightful dose of witty metaphors, often embodying the flavour of the characters’ settings and occupations. For instance, moodiness is compared to ‘the force of the water flowing from the taps in our house. Sometimes too fast, sometimes in drips’; describing the projection of narrow idea as ‘looking at a particular situation like a horse with blinders’; being tongue-tied might as well be the feeling ‘as if my tongue had been depressed by a spatula’. How Afrah and Sadiq describe the moment their hearts fluttered is even unique to them—‘like the wings of the sparrows that nibble on the grains Mom puts for them on the windowsill’ to ‘I wondered whether it was the atria or the ventricles that got wings’.
Along with sweet moments and smart, chuckle-inducing repartee, the book also takes the readers through a grounded experience of the city itself. From train compartments teeming with passengers to crowded localities to neighbours and thin walls of homes to delicious street delicacies, Arva Bhavnagarwala has somehow managed to pack it all within a single novel. Afrah, in one of her delightfully chirpy moments, describes the train ride to her colleague as:
‘I had a body massage today for twenty minutes by protruding elbows’.
Speaking of the female protagonist, the author gives her a strong voice even when faced with confidence-shattering and life-altering situations. Afrah blossoms into a resilient woman who would not stand for what society wanted her to be, if it did not align to her own sensibilities and preferences. Her temper brings out some of the best snarky remarks in the book, a personal favourite being the retort she yells into her phone suspecting the caller to be a telemarketer:
‘I’ll come through the phone and snap your neck in two and then make kheema pulao out of it!’
At times, the narrative voices of Afrah and Sadiq sound similar, but the pacing and the flow rarely let this aspect feel jarring. Neither of the protagonists fall into a typical mould of romance characters, nor are they revolutionary. They are simply their own persons.
Overall, A Little Bit of Love is a clean romance with no spice, except in the scenes featuring food such as dabeli, mutton biryani, chicken pulao, cheese wada-pav, et cetera. Pick it up for a relaxing afternoon or a quiet evening in with a steaming cup of chai. After all, a little bit of light reading with characters worth rooting for is all one needs sometimes.
If you’d like to pick up A Little Bit Of Love written by Arva Bhavnagarwala, use our affiliate link at Amazon India.
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Image source: a still from Ae Dil Hai Mushkil
“You are back? Come to me Beta, come here. Tell me what happened there. How did you like little Adhira? Did she smile at you?”, the otherwise uninterested in socializing mother-in-law Naina asked Ayaan. All this excitement redirected the conversation to “Having a Second Child”, again. And this was not the first time! Trupti looked at Deepak and he did not react to anything and chose to walk to the bedroom instead. Trupti gave him a glass of lemonade to Ayaan to cool down from the scorching noon heat and asked him to have it on the dining table.
She took the TV remote to reduce the volume of the TV, sat quietly next to Naina, and said, “Mummyji, I understand your excitement, I can decode all your hints. We never discussed this topic and now that Ayaan is being involved in the scheme, I thought we should have a conversation around this. I have a sibling, I know they play a crucial role in my growing years. But, I am not ready to be a mother again. You know all the complications throughout my pregnancy and delivery. It was not easy for me, it still is not. I have not been in the best of my health since my delivery. I am not ready to be a biological mother again.”
Naina was quiet, after a while she replied, “It’s all in your head. You should give it a try at least.”
Trupti was very determined and patiently said, “There is no point in trying Mummyji. I am not ready for it, mentally as well as physically.”
“You met Sneha’s daughter Adhira na? Don’t you feel like you should also have a daughter? Raising a girl is a different experience. To dress them, doll them up. I have lived it, I have been blessed with Komal. I feel you should not miss it.” Naina was quick to react.
Trupti smiled and looked at her, “Tell me one thing Mummyji. Who is going to guarantee it will be a girl? We both wanted a girl in the first place. But it turned out to be Ayaan. What if we try and it a BOY, again?”, Trupti paused, “I know a full-proof solution to our problem. I think we should adopt a baby girl. That way we will have two kids and we can also be sure of the child being a girl.”
“Do you think it a JOKE?”, Naina responded furiously, “Deepak… Deepak…”, she screamed at the top of her voice. “See what Trupti is saying. She wants to adopt a second child. Your generation wants everything ready-made and instant. Food, clothes, children… Who are you going to adopt? How will you make sure of the background? Will you be able to love her like your own child? Will everyone accept the relationship, it won’t be the same blood. How are you going to deal with it?” Naina was clearly upset with Trupti’s idea.
“Have you lost your mind, Trupti? I told you we would talk to Ma about this. Later. This was not the right time”, said Deepak in an irritated tone.
“Time is never right Deepak. We had to talk on this topic, now or later. It is not about ready-made child Mummyji. I am fully aware I am not physically well at full capacity. We have researched and a couple of orphanages do assist and encourage legal adoption of children. Not sure about the background, but a heart full of love and an intention to give her a home, family, and better future is enough I think. Before society, I think you will have to accept her. Ayaan is 5.5 years old now, we may disclose the adoption part to him later, I am sure he would be overjoyed to have a sister irrespective of how! When he has an affectionate bond, his love for her will make him easily get over the adoption part. Our family has seen so many ups and downs in blood relation happening by adults, that we should not be doubting an infant. Eventually, she will be the way we raise her.”
Trupti pauses, sips lemonade, and continues, “We do not want to do anything without your consent. We will wait till we convince you” she concluded.
“So you knew all of this already Deepak?”, asked Naina in an assertive tone.
“Yes, Ma. We have discussed this multiple times. But Trupti does not wish to be a biological mother again and I don’t want to force her. She will be impacted the most, she has the right to decide. I respect that, and if you say no, we won’t proceed further. But in that case, you also please try not to dig into this topic in the future,” Deepak says softly rubbing her palm and patting it in the end.
Naina does not react or respond. She may be thinking about it. Well, let us assume so!
Image source: a still from short film Ghar ki Murgi
I’m writing this piece as I really had that urge to put this out, about the contrasting thoughts and complexities of the human mind.
I, for example, am a corporate soft skills trainer. When you happen to see my Facebook or LinkedIn page, it’s all about my achievements and about how I’ve kind of created the perfect life for myself, or so you may think.
On one hand, yes, I have managed to create exactly the life that I wanted, but on the other hand, I do not post about my dark thoughts and anxieties which form a significant part of me, maybe even for others at least in their midlives (I guess), which is OK, and which is exactly why I want to write this piece.
I strongly believe that almost everyone suffers from things they don’t discuss. When you see the celebrity who seemingly has it all – the perfect spouse, the fame, the money, health, and a great social life, we think that their lives are perfect, don’t we? But it wasn’t until Deepika Padukone or Anushka Sharma or Shruti Hassan or Rashmika Mandanna dropped some truth bombs and openly spoke about their mental health, that the air around this “taboo” topic was cleared and hopefully has given people the confidence to approach and deal with it by seeking help.
Taking my own life for instance, there are times when I’ve felt absolutely grateful for all the things am blessed with – my family, my career, my money, my house etc. As much as I’ve felt grateful and blessed, there are also times I feel quite empty and have my anxiety pangs for no obvious reason, feel confused about life, overthink things that I blow way out of proportion and end up being sad with my own thoughts.
A few years back, I remember waking up crying for no reason, which surprised me because I’ve thought of myself as positive-minded and quite cheerful. Can relate with me? (About my anxiety, was prescribed vitamins medically, I recommend a doctor visit than let yourselves assume things).
Although I’m clear about the purpose of my life. I want to be an inspiration for my daughter, by never giving up on things that matter to me like my career, my interests, even life, so that she sees and hopefully takes after that quality to never easily give up on things that are close to her heart. I also love living for all its uncertainly which is what makes it interesting, for life is precious, beautiful, and magical. I also have some long-term goals for myself which gives me a solid reason to look forward to life every single day and work hard to achieve them.
I just wanted to share this post to make it clear that all that glitters can just not be gold. But that doesn’t mean we stop pursuing the gold. When life seems overwhelming, take a pause, and look at the larger picture and try to find a meaning to it – to live for yourself to experience life in all its glory and mess, to write a book, to publish your thesis, to support your family, to serve others, whatever gives you a reason to wake up every day Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, which made a lot of sense to me). And some days even when you think you can’t, remind yourselves that you’re stronger than you think, and always remember that you haven’t seen some of the best moments in life yet.
Let’s talk about this for a hot minute. It’s almost an instant reflex to say sorry the second you hear the word divorce. We’re all probably guilty of this. Sure, you might be sorry that a relationship ended. I’m not here to dispute anybody’s intentions. A lot of us might have good intentions. But a lot of us also have the wrong words that aren’t in congruence with the good intentions. So, I’m here to tell you, please don’t say you’re sorry without checking if the situation warrants it. The person telling you about their divorce might have gone through years of abuse and has finally found a way to end it. In that case, should you be sorry about the divorce? No. You should be congratulating them.
Every single time someone has said they’re sorry when I’ve mentioned my divorce, I’ve immediately asked them, ‘But why would you be sorry about the best thing that’s happened to me?’ It’s food for thought. Be sorry that the marriage happened but not that the divorce has come through.
As Tisha and I continued to chat, she brought up an important point. She’s completely accepted her divorce, and she has no qualms when it comes to telling others about it. But it usually garners an ‘oh no, I’m so sorry’ reaction. While this might sound harmless, the responsibility of consoling the person hearing this news falls on her. She ends up explaining how it’s a normal process, it’s a good thing that happened to her, and there’s nothing to feel sorry about. It’s exhausting to keep listening to the same reaction almost every time. If we don’t encourage such conversations, we also tend to internalize this stigma and let it fester in our system and mind, subconsciously.
This is what happened in the case of Yagna. It broke my heart listening to her story. She was brought up with the template of an ‘ideal’ wife—cooks every meal, takes care of her in-laws, is always there for her husband, and does as they dictate. This is a fully educated double-degree holder, by the way. I’m mentioning this solely as a reminder that unhappy marriages aren’t prevalent only in some remote part of the country. It’s happening everywhere around us. She did as much as she could, while also trying to balance a career on the side.
Between a husband who didn’t care enough for her and his parents who put her through so much, she started breaking down. Her friend gave her a reality check, asking her to get out of this toxic relationship, but to Yagna, it was a sacred union in eternity. She couldn’t wrap her head around leaving the family. ‘Maybe I’m not good enough,’ she’d convince herself and get back to the grind, suffering in silence.
A sharp slap on her cheek from her father-in-law when she confronted the family about her husband’s extra-marital affair really altered her perspective. An emotional slap followed when he said, ‘You’re so unattractive, why would my son sleep with you?’ It was the prompt she needed to walk out because as long as the issues stayed within her house and family, she could handle it. As soon as her husband strayed and cheated on her, she was no longer willing to deal with his dirty laundry.
However, a few months down the line, she started to feel the dull throb of the same thoughts again. ‘Maybe I wasn’t a good enough wife or a good enough daughter-in-law.’ Eventually, those thoughts got the better of her, and she returned to her husband and begged him to take her back. She promised him she’d lose weight, cook better, take care of his parents, and whatever else he wanted.
‘The best gift I’ve ever received from him is he not taking me back as his wife,’ Yagna beamed. His refusal gave her the new lease of life she needed. While stigma continued to haunt her, she still went ahead and filed for divorce. It felt like the right thing to do. She slipped into a cocoon, unwilling to talk to her friends and family or do anything else. Yagna was always an admirable and accomplished woman who truly didn’t deserve what she went through, but with the help of her mother, she is also happy today.
It’s easy to be a fly on the wall when you hear others talk about such situations. Some might even consider it gossip, but we’re also at a level of awareness where we know these judgemental comments speak volumes about how regressive society still is. Trying to guess the issues between a couple, spreading rumours, always trying to prod and question just to know what happened, is a real headache to the ones going through the actual problems. This is especially true for celebrities, and particularly women who have been on the receiving end of so many assumptions.
More recently, influencers can be seen going through the same traumatic cycle as well. The gossip mills keep on grinding. If you’re divorced, if you’re married, if you’re looking to marry or know someone close to you who’s married, try and start conversations that might educate others around you. After all, the taboo around a topic only keeps intensifying as the silence around it thickens. One conversation could change a thought or stop the hurt passing on to someone who might be in a tough spot. Tomorrow, it could be you needing the same support.
This is something I encourage very vocally on social media. Do not shy away from conversations at home, with family near and dear. Speak openly about divorce and its repercussions. After all, education begins at home.
Published with permission from the publishers, Penguin Random House India.
If you’d like to pick up Divorce is Normal written by Shasvathi Siva, use our affiliate link at Amazon India.
Image source: by triloks from Getty Images Signature Free for Canva Pro and book image Amazon
Women are subject to constant judgement, scrutiny and criticism right from the moment we are born. We are made to question our valid choices, feel ashamed of our bodies, feel guilty for wanting time for ourselves, put ourselves last and so much more, at every stage of our lives.
Motherhood is no exception.
Everyone thinks they know better than a mom, who has borne her baby for nine months and suffered immeasurable physical and mental discomfort. In the name of helping, these are some of the dumbest pieces of advice I have heard as a new mom.
Really? Despite having had babies themselves, many women tell this to other women. Do they not know that babies can cry for a million reasons other than hunger?
It could be colic, wanting to sleep, growing pains, teething pains, wet diapers and so on.
Read more: If You Are A Mother Of A New Born, Then Follow These Tips
Who are you to decide that, dear aunties? I agree, WHO recommends exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months. But not all mothers may be able to do it for a multitude of reasons.
A baby may have latching problems/the mother may have flat nipples/lack privacy/ she may simply be uncomfortable with the whole idea of breastfeeding.
Read more: What Is The Ideal Diet For A Breastfeeding Mother?
So, does becoming a mom simply mean that all her dreams and ambitions cease to exist? It is for her to decide, based on various factors such as the support system she has at home to look after the baby.
She is not a bad mom just because she wants to get back to work within a few months post-partum.
Read more: Returning To Work As A New Mom Is Scary, But Not Impossible
This is the dumbest among them all. How on earth are you supposed to align your sleep routine with such an erratic schedule that your baby follows? You can sleep only when you feel tired.
Rather than telling her to rest when the baby is asleep, look after the baby whenever she feels tired and wants to rest.
Read more: New Mom Dilemmas: When Too Much Info Makes Newborn Care Confusing!
Are you too tired of these unsolicited pieces of advice? It is time to stop tolerating them. Motherhood is unique to each individual. And no one should say to you that you are doing it wrong!
Recommended read:
Image source: CanvaPro
Are you a music lover interested in discovering female Gen Z musicians from India? Here are 9 you should listen to!
Music has been an integral part of my life, serving as a constant companion throughout my journey. Even now, approximately 70% of my day is spent immersed in the melodies and rhythms of the music playlists I’ve carefully curated over the years.
What’s remarkable is the universal appeal of music across various genres within the Gen Z community today. Being a proud member of the Gen Z tribe myself, I’ve observed that our contemporary musicians possess a unique ability to craft lyrics that resonate deeply with our generation. These lyrics are often accompanied by catchy and infectious beats that tend to stick with us, creating what we commonly refer to as “earworms.”
What’s truly special about these Gen Z musicians is their capacity to offer a sense of comfort and empowerment through their lyrics. When I’m facing a challenging day or dealing with life’s ups and downs, I can always turn to their music to find solace and motivation.
It’s as if they understand our experiences and emotions, and they channel those sentiments into their songs, making them relatable and therapeutic.
This connection with their music not only makes it enjoyable, but also an essential part of our daily lives, contributing to our sense of identity and belonging within the Gen Z culture.
Here’s a list of 9 of my favourite female Gen Z musicians from India!
Diya Vadiraj is a talented singer based in Bangalore. She started singing at the young age of 6 and is mostly known for her angelic covers of Hindi, Indie, Bollywood, and other genres of music. Diya is currently studying in the 12th grade and wishes to pursue music in the future as well.
Ranita Banerjee, is a singer-performer from Kolkata. She was a contestant on Indian Idol Junior. Her career took off when she was just 5 years old after participating in the show Singing Star. She recently participated in Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Li’l champs and secured the first runner-up position.
Ranita has a voice as sweet as honey, and her cover of the song Zara Si Aahat has over 6.2 million views.
Ankita Kundu is a playback singer and is known for her multitalented and powerful vocals. She rose to fame after participating in and showing commendable performances in singing reality shows in India. She is passionate and super talented, and it shows, the impression she leaves after her performances.
Maithili Thakur is a talented singer from Bihar and mostly sings Bhojpuri, classical, and folk songs. She rose to fame after participating in the show Rising Star in 2017. She also uploads covers on her YouTube channel, where her videos have millions of views. Her lovely voice doesn’t fail to mesmerize her audience.
Lisha Mishra is an Indian-American singer/songwriter. She rose to fame after singing the song Tareefan from the film Veere Di Wedding and for her other bops like Coka 2.0, Sajna Ve, and Wakhra Swag Ni.
Starting in 2013, Lisha began recording covers and uploading them to her YouTube channel. She continues to pursue her passion for music and has a promising future in the industry.
Ananya Nanda is a 21-year-old playback singer based in Bhubaneshwar. Her career in singing took off after she won Indian Idol Junior in 2015. She has showcased her talents across genres like classical and Bollywood.
With her melodious voice, this young and talented singer is sure to leave you spellbound. Don’t miss the opportunity to experience her impressive performances.
Avanti Nagral is a gifted singer-songwriter and musician who was born in Boston. After moving to Mumbai, she pursued her passion for music, and now has fans all around the world, including countries like the Philippines and the USA. Avanti’s music has captivated audiences with its unique blend of genres, and her talent has earned her a reputation as one of the most promising young artists in the music industry.
Avanti also has a YouTube channel where she uploads videos of live performances, music videos, and vlogs of her days. With the blend of her soulful voice and enjoyable performances, she has a dedicated fandom and continues to grow it around the world.
Ilina Hats is a brilliant singer who’s versatile in R&B, hip-hop, soul, and pop music. She’s pursuing a major in pop music performance at LASELLE College of Arts in Singapore. Ilina has performed in various locations in India and abroad, and she continues to showcase her talents worldwide.
Saachi Rajadhyaksha is an artist based in Mumbai and is mainly into alt-pop music. Her powerful and soulful voice is what her fans find attractive. Saachi’s soulful lyrics are a true reflection of her emotions, and her enchanting voice adds a magical touch to her music that resonates deeply with fans.
All these young musicians are dedicated and great role models for those pursuing music. These musicians are definitely worth a listen.
Some of their lyrics are a reflection of the challenges the generation goes through, which in return provides comfort to listeners. They also use their social media and other platforms to connect with their diverse fanbase.
The beats and melodies are unique as well, which doesn’t fail to lift one’s mood. They are one more step away from conquering the stage of the world and deserve all the success that comes their way!
Image source for Female Gen Z musicians from India, created by Fatima Bathool on CanvaPro
In the late ’90s, Britney Spears exploded onto the music scene with her debut hit “Baby One More Time,” catapulting her to the zenith of pop stardom. The world watched in awe as this talented teenager mesmerised audiences, setting records and cementing her status as an icon. But behind the glamour, an unrelenting storm of public scrutiny and paparazzi’s relentless flashbulbs began to close in.
“Baby One More Time,” released in 1999, remains one of the highest-grossing albums by a solo teen artist, even 20 years later now. Britney Spears, the pop princess, was adored by millions, yet her life was far from a fairy tale. Her every move was dissected and sensationalized by the media, turning her personal struggles into a public spectacle.
No matter what her achievement was, her achievements were reduced to her sexuality.
“It took my focus off me as a musician and performer. I worked so hard on my music and on my stage shows. But all some reporters could think of to ask me was whether or not my breasts were real (they were, actually) and whether or not my hymen was intact”, writes Spears.
In 2008, Britney’s life took a momentous turn as it appeared to unravel right before us. The images of her shaving her head and attacking a paparazzo’s car with an umbrella shocked the world. It was a moment of vulnerability and despair, but we must ask ourselves, is shaving one’s head a cardinal offence? In hindsight of time, the answer is a resounding no. But that incident was one of the things that led to conservatorship.
In her own words, Britney reflects on those dark days, “You can’t even do any damage with an umbrella. It was a desperate move by a desperate person.” Her actions were a cry for help, a plea for understanding as she grappled with perinatal depression, anxiety, divorce, the loss of her maternal aunt Sandra, with whom she was very close, and a contentious child custody battle.
The most insidious chapter in Britney’s life was the conservatorship imposed upon her in 2008, with her father, Jamie Spears, assuming total financial control over her assets and making medical, and personal decisions.
“I call the shots. You sit right here in the chair, and I’ll tell you what goes on,” he declared, writes Spears in her book. It’s chilling to think that Britney Spears, a global superstar, was stripped of her agency in such a manner.
Her father’s control drowned out Britney’s voice, autonomy and creativity as an artist. It reduced her to just a money-making means for her parents.
Even when she was not qualified enough to make her own decisions, she was scheduled to give back-to-back performances. In fact, through her conservatorship, “I was working my ass-off”, she says.
Doesn’t this sound uncomfortably familiar to what countless Indian women endure? Even as adults, many of us have our finances and life decisions controlled by our parents or in-laws. The parallels are striking, emphasizing that issues of autonomy and agency transcend geographical boundaries.
“There have been so many times when I was scared to speak up because I was afraid somebody would think I was crazy. But I’ve learned that lesson now, the hard way. You have to speak the thing that you’re feeling, even if it scares you. You have to tell our story. You have to raise your voice.” Spears writes in her memoir, The Woman In Me.
As Spears writes in her book, “I couldn’t take a bath in private. I couldn’t shut the door to my room. I was watched, even when I was changing. I began to feel like I was being ritually tortured”. I felt like I was reading The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood.
In The Handmaid’s Tale, Atwood paints a dystopian world where women’s lives are meticulously controlled, their rights and freedoms stripped away in the name of a totalitarian regime. In Britney’s memoir, we witness a real-life struggle against a different kind of control, but one that nonetheless suppresses her voice and agency. Both narratives highlight the harrowing consequences of a system that seeks to dominate and silence individuals.
During the span of 12 years under conservatorship, she has done a variety of shows, repeatedly toured the world, and also released multiple albums. In her book Spears writes, “The conservatorship was created supposedly because I was incapable of doing anything at all. So why was it that a few weeks later, they had me shoot an episode of How I Met Your Mother and then send me on a gruelling world tour?”
Her Las Vegas residency “Piece of Me” was launched in 2013, where she continued to give performances for four years, with a staggering ticket sales of $137.7 million across 250 shows.
In 2018, Britney abruptly ended her Las Vegas residency and she was sent to an undisclosed hospital. This set alarm bells ringing among her fans. They sensed something was amiss, and thus began to trend the #FreeBritney movement. It was a battle cry for justice and liberation from the oppressive shackles that had ensnared her. This eventually led Spears to battle against the conservatorship.
Britney Spears, once silenced, is now using her voice to raise awareness about the challenges she faced. Her fight isn’t just about her, but about challenging the systems that deprive individuals of their freedom and agency.
“You have to speak the thing that you’re feeling, even if it scares you. You have to tell your story. You have to raise your voice” says Britney Spears in her memoir.
It’s a battle that calls on all of us to support not just Britney but every person facing similar struggles. It’s a reminder that we should never underestimate the power of a single voice in the quest for justice and autonomy.
To me, the book underscored the significance of having a loving and accepting family that stands by our side, regardless of the choices we make. Something we can go back to. It gives a sense of assurance. It’s truly difficult for me to imagine a situation where my own family would fail to trust my decisions and, worse, manipulate me into believing that I am a disgrace.
How often do parents readily support a daughter going through a divorce or facing challenges in her marriage or relationship without immediately resorting to blame? How frequently are we told to suppress our feelings and put on a façade of a smiling face, just as Spears experienced?
If you’d like to pick up The Woman In Me by Britney Spears, use our affiliate links at Amazon India, and at Amazon US.
Book cover Amazon.
It wasn’t you that was enough, but it was only you that I thought was enough!!
I wasn’t prepared for the highs and lows, I thought you were the bulb that let me glow.
With my energies low I was finding ways to rise up and show.
I wasn’t meant to grow here, this wasn’t my place, because you gave me the strength, I grew in the most hardest space.
I wasn’t ready I don’t know if I ever will be? No one is!
Storms come and go by sudden, people come into your life and leave by sudden. But there are some who stay, who stay when you don’t want them too.
These are the rarest of a kind. And you I know were and will always be enough, another I won’t be able to find.
I know I’m depending upon you for the smallest of things I do, and that’s absolutely true.
Today I’m broken, I’m not dead, I know I have the chances to start over again.
But, it was only you that I thought was enough!!
On International Stress Awareness Day, learn 8 ways to reduce stress in the workplace and how to deal with the unique problems women face.
International Stress Awareness Day, observed on the first Wednesday of November each year, is a poignant reminder of the universal issue of stress in our lives.
In the corporate world, stress can take on various forms, and women often face unique challenges.
This article explores the significance of International Stress Awareness Day and delves into holistic methods to eliminate and cope with stress, with a particular focus on women in the corporate environment.
Stress is the body’s natural response to challenging situations, and in a corporate setting, it can stem from demanding workloads, tight deadlines, interpersonal conflicts, and the relentless juggling of multiple roles.
Women in the corporate world face not only the typical stressors but also gender bias, the wage gap, and expectations around work-life balance. Recognizing these factors is the first step in effectively addressing stress.
Here are 8 holistic approaches and tips to stress elimination
Incorporating mindfulness and meditation practices into your daily routine can significantly reduce stress. These techniques help you stay present, manage anxiety, and improve your overall mental well-being. There are various mindfulness apps and guided meditations available to assist you in this journey.
Read more: How You Can Use Mindfulness As A Tool For Your Wellbeing
Regular physical activity, such as yoga, not only enhances your physical health but also reduces stress. The combination of movement, deep breathing, and relaxation techniques in yoga can be a powerful stress-reliever.
Read more: Benefits Of Yoga On Mental Health Of Women
A well-balanced diet plays a crucial role in managing stress. Foods rich in antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals can bolster your body’s resilience against stress. Avoid excessive caffeine and sugar, which can exacerbate stress and anxiety.
Read more: 4 things This Nutritionist Wishes You Understood About Nutrition
Engaging in creative activities, such as painting, writing, or music, can be therapeutic. Artistic expression allows you to channel your emotions positively, offering a constructive outlet for stress.
Read more: 5 Art Therapy Classes: Can Working Women Benefit From It?
Consider exploring holistic healing practices like acupuncture, aromatherapy, or aromatherapy. These methods have been known to alleviate stress and promote relaxation.
Read more: The Mind-Body Connection To Women’s Health & Fertility
Seeking guidance from mental health professionals is essential. They can provide tailored strategies and coping mechanisms that address your specific stressors, helping you navigate the corporate environment more effectively.
Read more: Mallika Dua’s New Ad On Insta Reminds Us To Normalise Seeking Therapy
Instead of striving for a strict work-life balance, aim for work-life integration. This approach acknowledges that professional and personal lives are intertwined.
Set realistic boundaries and blend your career with your personal life in a way that promotes overall well-being.
Read more: 7 Work-Life Integration Strategies For Working Indian Women
Building a strong support network of peers, mentors, and colleagues can provide valuable insights and advice for handling stress in the corporate world. Sharing experiences and learning from others in similar situations can be empowering.
Read more: Looking For A Supportive Network? Find Your Cheerleaders at Women Only Communities!
These books have made a significant impact in the field of stress reduction and are widely recognized for their valuable insights and practical strategies.
By embracing holistic approaches to stress elimination, individuals can nurture their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Women can benefit from these practices while advocating for gender equity and self-care.
Together, we can reduce stress and cultivate a more inclusive and supportive corporate environment for everyone.
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